The air smelled like rain and fresh flowers, the fresh scent of spring. The breeze was light and brisk, the sort of day that brought people out of doors for the first time since winter had settled in. Matthew stepped through the small gate that led to the cemetery, flowers in hand. I'm out of pattern, he thought suddenly, a smile crossing his face, it's morning, not afternoon. Mary will be expecting Mother, not me.

And that was a silly thought, he chided himself as he took a seat on the small bench in front of her grave. If Cousin Violet was right, Mary was ruling Heaven's social scene with glee. He sat for a long moment, hoping to find the right words.

Finally, he had to chuckle. "Oh Mary, how do you always manage to reduce me to a tongue tied mess?" For an instant, he thought he heard her laugh with amusement. Then he pressed forward. He was being silly, and ridiculous, and he suspected if anyone in the family knew what he was doing there, it would be fodder for years of stories about how odd he could be. But he felt compelled, to speak to her, to tell her. "You know why I'm here," he said finally. He put his hand into his pocket and felt for the dainty engagement ring he planned to give Sybil later that day. "Today I am going to ask Sybil to marry me."

Saying it aloud made him feel both joyful and full of regret. Joyful because it was love he felt in his heart for Sybil, of that he was certain. It was different, sometimes it was so different, he often didn't know what to think. For all that Sybil was less prone to demanding her way over parties or outings, she could and did dig her heels in over things that Mary would have waved away as beneath her notice. And yet, Sybil's fierceness did remind him of Mary in the purest way.

The regret was for the life with Mary, the life that he still missed. "I miss you," he said quietly. "I still wake up and wonder why you aren't next to me. Sometimes I find myself thinking 'Mary would find that funny, I should tell her' or 'George is so big now, Mary will want him up on a pony soon'. And then I remember." Matthew blinked back tears. "So, never fear, you will be with me always. You will always be my Mary, the first woman that broke my heart, the mother of my child, the woman who I fell in love with the moment I saw her. If you were here, there would be no other, and you know that because poor Tom was right, there was no one for me as long as you walked the earth."

He sighed. "And that is the crux of the matter. And you'd smile, and call me a lawyer for pointing out the obvious. I can't ask your permission and if you were really here, you'd have no reason to grant it. But I didn't come here to ask your permission. I came to tell that... if I do love another, it doesn't mean I love you any less." He found himself smiling. "I imagine, since you're in the afterlife, that you have finally met my father and know how wise he is, but just in case you haven't, let me share something he told me about love." Matthew let the memory play out in his mind. "I was a very little boy, and I had asked him how he could love both Mother and I, didn't he run out of love? And he said that love was quite magical, the more love you gave someone, the more you received and that more you had to give to others. When it comes to love, the well is always full. I will always love you, Mary. Nothing will ever change how I love you."

It felt right to say. Even better, he felt a sense of peace, as if she was there, nodding agreement. Frowning a little, her brow creasing the same way George's did, because her very nature told her to disagree, but then nodding agreement because she couldn't deny the sense of it. He stood up, and felt a wave of relief. It's a new path, he told himself, a new life to live. I never would have grudged her a new life if I had been the one to die, he reminded himself, it's time to accept what my new life has given me.

0o0o0o0

"Look who I found," Barrow said cheerfully as he stepped into the small study. Sybil looked up from the business bookkeeping and smiled at the squirming bundle Barrow held.

"Katie, have you gotten away from Nanny again?" It was hardly a surprise, Sybil thought with no small amount of amusement. Katie was a spritely little toddler, and the mischief always gleamed in her eyes.

"Not only did she get all the way to the main staircase," Barrow intoned, his eyes also gleaming with mischief, "she managed to take Master George's little cars and roll them down the stairs. Mr. Carson noted that it makes quite the clatter."

"Aren't you terribly naughty," she said as she took Katie from Barrow. "Running off by yourself, taking someone else's toys, smiling wickedly when caught…"

"It's almost as if she was Lady Mary's child," Barrow smiled as he spoke.

Sybil shook her finger at him. "Don't think Papa hasn't said that, and warned me thoroughly, but no… Tom told me too many stories of his mischievousness as a boy. Mother Branson said he had a streak of devil inside him and I know exactly where Katie gets that from."

"Oh, I don't know, milady," Barrow retorted, his eyes twinkling, "I somehow recall Katie's mother being well known for her many mischievous exploits. Wearing bloomers, running off to be a war nurse, marrying the chauffeur…"

She chuckled as she sat down and held Katie. "Yes, I was quite the trial, you needn't remind me further, Barrow." She looked at Katie and smiled. "She is the very image of Tom."

"She has your eyes, milady," Barrow disagreed gently. "But I otherwise agree." He hesitated, clearly considering his words carefully. "I won't pretend that Mr. Branson and I were friends, but we likely didn't get along because he was a much better person than I."

"Oh Barrow," she said softly, "Don't say that. You have a good heart, you should let people see it more. Even Tom said that." She kindly left out how grudging that admission had been. Tom hadn't exactly despised Barrow, but he had found her liking of the man to be odd.

"That's more kindness from him than I expect or deserve." His eyes lowered. "For what its worth, I have regrets over how he and I squabbled. I'm glad for his sake and yours, that you were lucky enough to have a child. And…" He paused, clearly unsure if he should continue.

Sybil encouraged him. "And what?" She had a feeling she knew but it was interesting to have anyone say it, more interesting that it was Thomas Barrow.

"And you have a right to move on and be happy with someone else." Barrow took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We all dance around Mr. Matthew, and his feelings. I think you know as well as any of us that his grief and difficulty hasn't gone unnoticed, but for all the times he's encouraged by others, you're always there as well. And perhaps it's only fair that someone encourage you."

"You approve of my courtship, I take it?" She smiled as he nodded. It was a courtship soon to end, she was certain Matthew was nearing the point where he was ready to go further, but she appreciated the kindness Barrow wanted to show her. He reminded her of Mary, both in looks and in how there was a warm heart under all the awfulness he projected outward.

"You couldn't have chosen a better man," Barrow said it matter of factly, as if it was understood. "He will love you and respect you, and he will always be mindful of your first love, just as you will be mindful of his. I just think it should be said, out loud, to you, that Tom Branson loved you dearly and would have wanted you to be happy and would never have expected you to stay unmarried. You deserve happiness and togetherness, just as much as Mr. Matthew, and you deserve to hear, from someone who at least knew your husband that he loved you so dearly, he would have done anything to make you happy. As much as we didn't get along, I knew that about him and never doubted his love for you. If he couldn't be with you, he would want you to be happy with someone else."

I know that, of course I know that, she wanted to say. She had never once doubted it, it was Matthew who she suspected had many dreary days and nights pondering what Mary wanted. But, she realized as she looked into Thomas's worried eyes, Thomas is reaching out, to perform a kindness. I must do him the same, she thought, because he deserves to have kindness in his life just as much as I do. "Oh, Thomas, thank you. I think I always knew it, but its so good to hear it from someone who… perhaps knew Tom better than you think. Because it feels so very right, Thomas, and you're a good friend to take such care to tell me." She leaned in conspiratorially, hoping he'd find it pleasing to be in the know. "Matthew has asked me to join him tonight, before dinner. To talk. But I think what he really wants is to ask me something. Something I think I will be saying yes to."

Thomas smiled, a genuine light coming to his eyes. "That sounds lovely, milady. And thank you for the warning. Perhaps I can arrange for some champagne to be chilled, if you think there might be an announcement?"

"That and perhaps some sort of chocolate tart or cake for dessert?" Sybil laughed. "Matthew denies it, but he has a sweet tooth. I give him credit, he rarely indulges it but I think tonight he might want to."

"What's this?" Matthew stepped in from the hallway, a smile on his face. "Sybil, are you conspiring with Barrow against me?"

"Conspiring to please you," she shot back merrily, as she handed Katie back to Barrow. "Did you come to check on the books? Because it looks like we're looking at another profitable season. Papa will be horrified with our business deals and pleased that the coffers are filled to the brim."

Matthew leaned over the desk and perused the papers as Barrow left. "I think your father has come around to the business. Seeing the estate flourish, not having to worry how the bills will be paid, I imagine it's a relief for him to know that Downton Abbey will remain strong for at least the next few years. A few years in the green instead of the red will do us all good." Then he looked her in the eyes, eyes that suddenly sparkled in a way she had come to find delightful. "I don't know how to do this. I've never really mastered it. God knows Mary made me repeat myself. I thought I'd ask you to take a walk and I'd take you down to the front gates and we'd probably dance around it playfully and eventually I'd stutter out my question and… We've danced around each other, and played old roles for too long. I want the new dances and games to be different and perhaps a bit more straightforward." He took a deep breath. "I love you, Sybil. I want to marry you. Will you be my wife?"

For a second, her words were caught in her throat. Because it was so different, so different from Tom who had been both more nervous and more assured of the answer. But, as she met Matthew's eyes, the small doubts left her. "Oh, yes, Matthew. Yes, I will marry you." He pulled her into an embrace, and kissed her. The kiss was a surprise, not that they hadn't shared kisses before but she realized the chaste kisses of before were just that, chaste. Now he was kissing her with intent, with the promise of more to come than just a kiss, and she realized all too well that she was more than ready for it. After a long moment, she forced herself to pull back. "Enough!" she said with a laugh. "I said yes, you don't have to display all your feathers at once to attract me. I should warn you, you'll need to tell everyone as soon as we're called to dinner. I'm sure Rose will guess immediately."

Matthew chuckled. "As if I have such a poker face."