Let you down

The extraction was difficult. Sam almost crushed Bucky's wrist in the machine as he attempted to operate it, but Steve was able to slip the metal arm out just before Barnes's screaming deafened him.

Curled up in a fetal ball in the back seat of the SUV, Barnes said nothing and made no effort to communicate with the two Avengers. The men looked at each other uncertainly, not sure if James was in withdrawal or just overwhelmed to be free. Wilson decided he needed to get the three of them out of town as fast as he could before Stark or Hydra found them.

Steve sat as small as he could next to his friend in the back seat. Sam had argued that if Bucky wanted to, he could kill Steve in heartbeat because of their proximity. Rogers returned, "I'm willing to take that risk. He'd do the same for me."

With a sigh of resignation, Sam climbed into the driver's seat, "Just don't do anything stupid till we get to base." Steve smiled a bittersweet smile as he closed the door.

They drove for what seemed an eternity down a relatively deserted highway, not surprising given the time of night they were out. Mama always said nothing good happens after midnight, Steve recalled. How man times had he and Bucky put that truism to the test? Glancing at his watch, it had only been about fifteen minutes.

A small whimpering sound came from James instantly drawing Steve's attention. "Hey, Buck. It's ok. You're safe." Rogers made his voice as low and soothing as possible. Bucky didn't make another sound nor did he relax.

Cap felt his chest tighten in guilt, the same heavy feeling he always got when reminded with the many dark corners of his past that should have died along with him in a natural death. But Fate would not have it. She needed a hero with all his baggage and now Steve sat with the largest burden he ever carried next to him.

He glanced at the divider between the front and back seat of the SUV. It was a 'borrowed' police SUV to Sam's disapproval. S.H.E.I.L.D. didn't exist any more and Tony was not going to share any of his vehicles at this point. Steve slid it shut just before Falcon exclaimed from the front seat in concern.

Now they were all alone. Him and Bucky; the person he owed the biggest debt of his life.

Highway lights passed by in hazy blinks, the road markers were sinuous yellow and white lines. The thrum of the engine at highway speed was soothing. Cap let his mind wander a little. The smells of the Stark Expo came back sharply like the murderous looks of the girls Bucky had set up for the two of them. Bucky was being deployed, and Rogers had failed yet again to gain entry into the Army.

"Bucky." The name felt like lead on his tongue as Steve sat quietly looking at the prone and damaged body of his friend, "I have let you down." He swallowed, "So… many times. I'm… sorry."

James didn't move or make any indication he heard Steve.

Inhaling, Rogers ripped his eyes upward to the celling of the car, "I always looked up to you. You were my hero and my friend." A fist clenched his heart. "So when you enlisted, I let you down. Scrawny little Steve Rogers let you down. I had to cheat to get into the ranks. You had it in you the whole time and I'm … just a fraud." He sighed, "Even I couldn't get that right. I let you go, alone, into battle. I let you… get captured, while I sang and danced like a trained dog."

His eyes began to burn as the memories flooded forth. "I let them hurt you, Bucky. Zola and Hydra got you because I failed you." A tear splashed onto his cheek. Rogers angrily wiped it away with a rough knuckle. "On the train. I let you down. You were… trying to protect me and me, the 'Worlds Greatest Soldier', couldn't save his best friend." Cap felt sobs clawing their way up to his throat. He clamped his teeth down hard trying to suppress the tears, uncertain of what the effect would be on James. Breathe, in, out, in, out.

Barnes still didn't move.

Once more barely composed, Rogers looked out the window of the vehicle. Twinkling lights were visible in the distance from office buildings. Cars passed intermittently. Steve "You even hauled my ass out of the river. And I let you go again alone. I… let you walk away! What kind of dumbass friend am I?"

There was a long deep silence. Steve listened to the breathing of Barnes laying across the back seat, not sure if he was awake or not. If Bucky wasn't breathing, he'd look like a corpse, lying so still.

Wilson changed directions a few times on his way to the "somebody" he knew. Steve had no idea where the were going except they kept moving.

On the verge of sleep, feeling his confessional to Barnes was not going to be reciprocated, Rogers snoozed, fist propping his head up against the door frame. In the twilight of dozing, he thought he heard a voice.

"You… are the biggest wingnut. D'int Momma teach you about language?" It was as if Barnes was whispering in his ear, his voice was so soft but rusty as if not used in a long time.

Steve's eyes shot open and his head turned so fast he heard the vertebra crack. On the opposite corner of the SUV sat Barnes curled up like a large black panther, eyes glittering behind unwashed bangs. Every movement, which there were few, were not wasted. Rogers felt ice sloshing in his guts instinctually realizing how dangerous his friend had become.

"You can breathe. I'm not going to kill you. I know who you are, Steve." James tried a smile, but it came out a lopsided grimace as if the muscles forgot how to. Cap realized was holding his breath.

God if felt so good to hear his name in Barnes's voice."You ok?" Steve hoarsely whispered, still surprised.

He replied softly from the shadows of his corner, "Thank you for getting me out of there."

"You're welcome?" Steve realized he sounded ridiculous but suddenly it was overwhelming that he was sitting across from and speaking to his best friend he hadn't seen in seventy years.

Barnes sat quietly looking at him, barely shifting as the car sped down the highway as if awaiting orders. Steve didn't want to violate the quiet between them. All the things he wanted to tell James over their 70 year separation evaporated from his mind.

"Remember when you asked me if I'd follow Captain America into battle?" James finally asked, his voice still quiet but unpracticed.

"Yes."

"And I said it was the kid too stupid to walk away from a fight I'd follow?" Barnes asked.

"Yes."

"That kid never let me down." Bucky replied honestly his eyes piercing from the flickering street lights outside, "You never let me down. Not then, not now. Not ever."

Rogers felt a tidal wave of relief, gratitude and brotherly love wash over him. Reaching out, he grabbed James in a hug, not caring if it panicked the Winter Soldier or not.

Barnes stiffened then gradually, mechanically folded his arms around Rogers.

"It's going to be ok." Bucky stated plainly.

"I know." Cap replied.