Phoenix: HOLO NO WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
Phoenix: DON'T EAT YOUR LEGS!
Holo: JUST LET ME EAT MY LEGS PLEASE.
Holo: I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR YOU.
Phoenix: NO YOU REALLY DON'T
LWTF
Zilla: You see Elsa and Jack over there?
Lantern: Yeah...?
Zilla: Don't they make such a cute couple?
Lantern: Well, they're certainly standing next to each other.
Lantern: Why are you even texting me anyway?
Lantern: We're right next to each other!
LWTF
Kookie: Thoron, help!
Thoron: What?
Kookie: I'm trapped in a dungeon!
Thoron: Cool
Kookie: I'm surrounded by five hungry, human-devouring demons.
Thoron: Kay
Kookie: With my feet chained to the ground.
Thoron: Uh-huh
Kookie: I'M ABOUT TO FREAKING DIE! DX
Thoron: Great
Kookie: Thoron.
Kookie: Night is here too.
Thoron: HOLY FUCK WHERE ARE YOU GUYS I'M COMING TO GET YOU WHAT DIMENSION ARE YOU IN?!
LWTF
Litwick: I would like to nominate you for the boiling hot water bucket challenge.
Mr. 5: That's not a thing.
Litwick: It is now.
LWTF
3P: Delirium I've been kidnapped by Vaughn help!
Delirium: How did that happen?!
3P: I was playing Pokemon Go and I wasn't paying attention!
3P: ...Look, just come help me.
Delirium: What team are you on?
3P: Valor. Why?
Delirium: You're on your own.
3P: FUCKING MYSTIC!
LWTF
Mal: Dude you're really drunk maybe I should get you home?
Thorn: NAH WAIT I'M FINE. I NEVER PUKED FROM THROWING UP.
Mal: ...You mean drinking?
LWTF
Phoenix: Oh no
Phoenix: Oh no
Dream: What is it?
Phoenix: I'm shipping a demon with a child again.
Dream: Not again -_-'
Phoenix: At least the demon isn't a shape this time.
Dream: ...
LWTF
Mage: So you know those fluffy little chicken toy things you see a lot around Easter?
5: Um yeah? Why?
Mage: Well, I just hid 27 of them around the house and I'm waiting for Zilla to find them.
5: How have I not thought of this?!
5: Tell me his reaction when he finds the first one!
Mage: "WHY THE SHIT IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY COFFEE CUP?!" The first chicken has been found.
5: OMG XD
Mage: "Mage I think you have a problem," Zilla says as he holds 15 tiny chickens in his hands.
5: I can't breathe! X'D
Mage: Who knew it would be so much fun to terrorise my brother with small chickens? :)
LWTF
Wish: It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.
Ace: Same goes for students at school.
Wish: Wow omg okay I just realised how fucked up that is.
LWTF
Lantern: I write sins not five page mission reports.
Thorn: Either way it's still a tragedy.
LWTF
Daemon: Hey, I just downloaded this app that lets me make personalised emojis. I made one that looks EXACTLY like you! Wanna see it?
Delirium: I know I'm going to regret this.
Delirium: *sigh* Fine
Daemon: 💩
Delirium: Fuck you.
LWTF
Kura: Did you hear about what happened to Litwick?
Kura: That's just tragic.
Sakura: Not as tragic as your face.
Kura: Oh come on, that was uncalled for.
Sakura: Your face is uncalled for.
LWTF
3P: I really love that the Supernatural description on Netflix is 'Siblings Dean and Sam crisscross the country, investigating paranormal activity and picking fights with demons, ghosts, and monsters.'
3P: Picking fights.
3P: It makes it sound like the demons, ghosts and monsters are just hanging out and all of a sudden Dean and Sam show up and bug the shit out of them.
Holo: I know, right? I love it! XD
Holo: "Hey werewolf, nice wig, what's it made of?"
Holo: "YOUR DEAD DAD'S BACK HAIR!"
LWTF
Dream: What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car?
Dream: "Robin, get in the car."
Wish: What?
Dream: A blind man walks into a bar.
Dream: And a table. And a chair.
Wish: Uh, Dream?
Dream: Knock, knock.
Dream: Come in.
Wish: Sis...
Dream: What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette?
Dream: Their hair colour.
Wish: I don't think you're telling these jokes right.
Dream: Well, considering I'm attempting to replicate YOUR sense of humour I would assume that I'm telling these jokes just fine.
Wish: ...
Dream: BOY I JUST FLAMED YO' ASS!
LWTF
Kookie: What if authors had food names and food had author names?
Kookie: "Hey sandwich time for lunch"
Kookie: "What are we having?"
Kookie: "Toni42"
Ace: I swear you are high right now.
Kookie: Shut up meatloaf.
Kookie: Wait, do I normally have tap dancing llamas in my living room?
Ace: ...No. No you do not.
Kookie: Okay you might be right.
LWTF
Midnight: Hey, where are you? You promised to help me with my patrol today, remember?
Rider: ARGH! I'm so sorry! DX I'm on my way to a graveyard right now.
Midnight: Wait, wait, why are you going to a graveyard?
Rider: I met this really cute guy hanging out there earlier today, and I want to see if he's still there. I'm like 75% sure he's a vampire or a werwolf or something.
Rider: If I'm lucky I might get a date!
Midnight: Let me get this straight: you're trying snag a date with who you suspect is a supernatural creature with no real evidence other than the fact you met him at a graveyard?
Midnight: Oh, and let's not forget the fact that we live in a world with powerful evil beings that are out to get us, so even if he does turn out to be something like that he will most likely try to kill you.
Rider: Pretty much.
Midnight: Sure, fine. But if you end up dead in a ditch, don't come crying to me.
Rider: I won't, I'll just haunt you until I'm avenged.
Midnight: Yeah, yeah. Have fun stalking after innocent emo teenagers.
LWTF
Zilla: Don't you hate it when hotels run out of rooms and you have to share with your bros?
Litwick: Tell me about it. It's quite annoying, isn't it?
Zilla: Hell yeah. Remember that one time that happened to us?
Litwick: Why of course I do.
Litwick: *posh accent* Zillah darling, we looked like a queer couple.
LWTF
Night: You're walking through the woods.
Thoron: There's no one around and your phone is dead.
Litwick: Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him.
Zilla: Shia LaBeouf.
Kookie: He's following you, 'bout thirty feet back.
Midnight: He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
Rider: He's gaining on you!
Ace: Shia LaBeouf.
Lantern: Running for you life from Shia LaBeouf.
3P: He's brandishing a knife, it's Shia LaBeouf.
Dream: Lurking in the shadoooows,
Phoenix: HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR SHIA LABEOUF!
Night: This is not the direction I wanted this conversation to go in.
Phoenix: Well where the hell did you think this was gonna go after quoting the Shia LaBeouf song?
Night: I was just trying to do a sort of role play-type exercise, okay?! I didn't know that it was gonna turn into this! I didn't even realise I accidentally quoted that damn Shia LaBeouf song!
Phoenix: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE FROM SHIA LABEOUF!
REVIEWS
GodzillaMan1000: Daemon found that Text funny as well :D By the way Mage, TMI dude, TMI. No dreams like that for me dude, this tomboy's asexual!
The Queen of Nope: Thanks you guys! Lovin' the support! :3 And Dream, please, don't speak of such vulgar things in my reviews- save that for the Texts! XP
midnightsky0612: *sighs overdramatically* Really? Really?! But seriously, glad you enjoyed it :)
theawesomest5: Hm, I never thought about that. I suppose it's possible. It would certainly explain how many of the more peaceful monsters had EXP and LOVE - especially without any sort of acknowledgement from other monsters, and no one thinking twice about it. I mean, Toriel and Asgore make sense, and even Undyne, but what about the other, younger, less violent monsters? I know what you mean about having intellectual debates and conversations. You should check out Tsuki the Wolf's Undertale stories, they're really good and actually bring up this point - we both theorised the same thing about Sans' EXP and LOVE.
EverythinAndAnythinAndNothin: You're welcome! Here, have another one - although you did suggest this in the first place, so yeah :/
MissNightmare: *dryly* You're welcome. I find myself quite amusing as well. Glad you appreciated my Texts though. Trust me: I get that.
EAH Rebel: Now why would you do that? Laugh! LAUGH I SAY! MUAHAHAHAHA!