So friends, I've been inspired. By possibly the worst fucking thing I've ever read. My whole body shivered and I CRINGED fam, I fucking cringed. Next level displeasure flowed through my body as I lay in bed derping on my phone.

And thus, inspiration struck me. I will not allow this sight to be overrun by garbage like 'Forgotten Fairy' by Zeroexpo13. No no, don't go and look at it. Please baby I lovers you too much for that. I don't wanna hurt you, just listen and avoid.

Now is this hypocritical of me? Possibly. Subjectively speaking I'm alright at writing. You guys have told me I'm pretty good so that's enough for me. But this fucking garbage, SHALL NOT SHTAND IN MY LAND.

Anyway enjoy your Pokemans.

Start!

Route 6

"Come on you little shit, react quicker!" Ordered Menma, in Bio-Evolution with Skarmory once more as he rained hell on King, the creature buckling and breaking with each strike the rapidly moving hybrid was landing on him.

Collette was off to the side with Charmander watching, the latter looking mystified by the battle.

A taloned foot swept the bulkier carnivore onto his back, King groaned pitifully as Menma hauled him back up, "C'mon, no breaks until you can hit me in this state." Commanded the possibly apex predator. The mind of a human, and the enhanced body of a disgustingly powerful Steel/Flying type. Sure there were others who could probably top him, himself being one.

Metaphorically speaking, don't worry there's no evil twin bs here kids.

King released a barrage of Poison Stings each of them plink'd off Menma's armour harmlessly, the creature got so frustrated it just barrled forward like a steam-train, fists and legs aglow, "Alright, Flurry it is then. King always prefers his right arm, so if I can slip enough grip onto his left I can throw him off balance with his own momentum." Skarmory's consciousness chirruped at the plan, or internal musing, whatever. The creature was in favour, Menma's body took on the effect of 'Iron Defence' a sheen of green rolling across his form as he slid around the first, right handed strike from King and was idly surprised when the creature went for left kick instead of a punch, no matter.

Backstepping just enough to avoid it the man grabbed the creatures leg and threw it over his shoulder, tossing the great, muscle bound purple reptile a few good feet, and creating a crater on impact. King moaned in pain, Menma pointed a talon towards Charmander, "Get in here." He ordered, the little lizard gulped but got up. Menma flashed over to his pack and tossed out a few more balls, Honchkrow, Helios and Houndoom all came out.

They all surrounded the transformed trainer, King getting back to his feet and Charmander stepping into the ring, "You all know what happens here. The first one to land a strike on me, gets to hunt to the hearts content, all targets. Even trainer Pokemon." Most of them salivated at the idea, their natural predatory streak coming out in full effect, Charmander was slightly suffocated by the hunger in the air, they had all been kept well fed and well loved, but nothing compared to the rush of a good hunt.

If harming their master/friend/companion was part of the requirement, they were fine with that. So long as they didn't put any lasting damage on.

Helios moved first, body swathed in flames, a good ol' Flame Charge to open just as he was taught. Menma dodged to the side only to have to roll into another dodge to avoid a strike from King.

It kept on like this for a while every time one would come, another followed. Pretty simple, not much to really say. Collette was still impressed at the manner her partner flowed about the field of battle he'd set up.

Charmander was staying in the back of the field and shot a flurry of Embers into the fray, Collette watched with morbid fascination as the little orbs of orange fire impacted onto the brawl, all the combatants were struck and as per usual, for some odd reason, the Ember exploded on contact, coating the mess of fisticuffs with smoke. A strong gust of wind later and there stood all of the creatures dogpiled atop their master.

Menma grunted and dug his arms out, propping himself up and staring at Charmander with a blank stare, "You're a cheeky little fucker aintcha?" The Skarmory armoured man drawled. Honchkrow pecked at his helmeted skull, "Oi-oi! Stop it ya fool."

Blindness was a hella of a counter.

Though it did humble him to know that even the smallest things could have a substantial impact.

"Alright, all of you get off me, we're going to whip this little bastard into shape." Standing up abruptly and toppling the tower of Pokemon cracking his knuckles and looming over the small orange lizard. Charmander felt very small all of a sudden and regretted all of his life up to this point.

Midday

Now-Charmeleon was scratching at his ass as a trainer stood across from him, a young man with a Rattata, and shorts.

"Those are too short. It's bothering me." Menma had his head tilted and his eye twitched erratically.

Joey, or whatever his name was, had challenged Menma when he saw the older trainer baiting the junk Pokemon, Pidgeys, Pidgeottos and Spearows, so the youth thought it his duty to stop this foolish slaughter. Charmeleon was looking at the rat with boredom.

"You're gonna get it now bud, my Rattata is super strong, like it's in the top percentage of all Rattata's." If malnourished and twitchy qualified as powerful then crackheads needa take up fighting. Now that would be a treat.

"Right... Sure. Let's just get this over with." Menma drawled hands in his pockets. He was feeling a little lethargic from spending so many hours melded with Skarmory. "Charmeleon, use Fire Fang." Flames began to lick at the orange-red lizards maw as it lunged forward and scooped the purple-white rat off the ground and ripped its head off.

Joey screamed bloody murder at the sight of the bloody murder.

Menma idly kicked at some dirt whilst Charmeleon fed, "I should come up with a name... He's a fire type. Sol? Yeah that'd work. A great deal quicker than 'Charmeleon'." Not to mention Charizard afterwards. The being said Honchkrow, Houndoom and the like didn't have nicknames so that was a slightly hypocritical stance.

What was he doing again?

"Char." Sol was poking at his leg, wiping the blood off his lips, "Char-char."

"Right-right. Let's get goin', Sol." He ordered Collette leaning off the tree she was lazing under, "Lunch?" Menma asked/offered.

"I'd kill for some fish." The Gardevoir answered with a smirk, Menma mirrored the expression.

"Then off we go."

Pewter City Gym

"Well at least it's a Water Type." Brock thought, this time Ash had come back with a Poliwag. The damage the little creature could put out was quite impressive, and honestly at this point he was just sick of it. So drummed up an extra two Geodudes and threw three of them Ash's way. The kid won, and after getting his badge Brock sent him on his way.

"Phew, thank goodness... If I had to battle him one more time I was going to pull my own hair out." Lamented Brock, Rhyhorn sidled up next to him and lazed onto the ground. "I know right? My brains fried from his voice. I'll be hearing that in my nightmares for years now." Brock shivered at the phantom pains that Ash's voice gave his ears.

"Rhy~." Groaned the big, rock creature.

"I know buddy." Brock agreed, pulling out his phone and calling up Cerulean City, he waited for a few moments until a familiar voice picked up.

"Hello, Misty speaking." Oh no, a girl. Brock was terrible at speaking with women over the phone, why did he call in the first place?! You can't take their hands and confess undying love unless you're there in person!

"Uh, hi this is Brock from Pewter Gym... I just wanted to uh, tell you that Ash finally got passed so you'll uh... be dealing with that... soon." He finished lamely.

"Oh. Well thanks for the heads up Brock. Hehe, I'll try to compose myself." For how poorly worded the guys words were Misty could appreciate the jest, "I'll speak with you later, someone just came in for a challenge."

"Uh, yeah! Sure, bye Misty." He hung up and looked to Rhyhorn who was shaking his head, "I think that went well." He saw awkwardly, and then began calling another person, this time the very man who gave him a new companion.

A few buzzes and he got through, "Menma speaking."

"Guess who finally got past me?" Asked Brock with a smile audible in his voice. Speaking to a fellow bro was so much easier than speaking to girls.

"Holy shit, wait he's been stuck there for like what... a week or so now? I am so sorry." Came Menma's voice, having seen the boy in the city. "I'm just amazed he even managed it. How long did he stick to the rat?"

"Up until about yesterday. From what I can gather Ash went to one of the rivers in the forest and caught a Poliwag, probably spent the afternoon training with it." Informed Brock.

"What's going on?" Asked a voice in the background.

"Apparently it took that Ash kid, you know the one with the Pikachu? Yeah him, took it like a week to beat Brock." Shared Menma, Brock guessed it was the Gardevoir he was with last time the older male was there.

"What a fucking looser." Oh snappy.

"Indeed. Anything else interesting happen on your end, Brock? How's Rhyhorn?" Menma asked, the muffled sound of food being eaten barely managing to get into the speaker of the phone.

"Not much and he's been doing really well, my siblings love him. Did I interrupt your lunch or something?" Brock asked, not wanting to intrude on his friendly acquaintance's lunch time.

"Not really, I'm just finishing up. Though from the sounds of it you should get something to eat man, the quaver in your voice isn't super great. I'll talk to you again man, catcha." Brock felt a smile crawl up onto his face, he was kinda hungry now that he thought about it.

Vermillion City Gym: A Few Hours Later.

"So, you're here to challenge me, eh? You ain't nothin' but a baby. Why should I bother?" Large, blonde and tank-top. That's how you describe Lt. Surge.

"I'm... not even going to bother with that. You have to because it's your job, Mr. Surge." Sniped Menma, Lt. of what army? The war was over a hundred years ago. No continents kept a military presence in any capacity. Probably why organizations like Rocket could exist, in hindsight.

"Feh, fine. Get ready for a pumelin' baby, my Raichu's gonna mop the floor with that prissy little dame." Surge swore as the chubby rat took centre stage in the arena, one of Surge's cucks got onto the sideline and spouted off the usual terms of combat, Collette scoffed and flipped her hair.

"I don't do battle, darling. I'm above it." Informed the Psychic type with derision, Surge's eyebrows lifted but his eyes were drawn elsewhere as a large purple reptilian appeared from its ball.

"What's wrong with that Nidoking!? It's looks freakin' feral!" Now this worried Surge slightly. As the plump, slow form of his Raichu compared little to the muscle bound, ferocious looking Nidoking.

"Begin!" Said the cuck.

"King, Dig." Like a large purple drill King burrowed underground leaving a large gaping hole in the floor. Whilst he was in the process of teaching King how to use Earthquake/Magnitude, Dig served his purpose more at the moment.

"Raichu, get ready for a t'under bolt." Oh god please, just stop. Menma physically cringed at the man's mannerisms, something about them just grated on his very soul.

"King, surface and go into Flurry." A large purple horn to the chest tossed the chubby rat into the air, King's savage form followed anon and with a powerful fist he pummeled the Raichu back and sent it into the ground with enough force to cave it's ribcage in, and create a decently wide crater.

Raichu began to attempt to breath, thought it came out as strangled, and wet with blood. Surge was horrified, returning the creature with haste. He pulled something from his pocket and tossed it at the challenger, Menma caught it and looked it over in his palm, a small sunflower-shaped badge, "Are you telling me you run this gym without using more than one Pokemon?"

"Get out!" Roared Surge, Menma narrowed his eyes.

"Listen here mother fucker you bring out another Pokemon and do your damn job this second or so help me I will get you fired. You're a Gym Leader, fuckin' act like it!" Snarled the man, Surge's nostrils flared as he rumbled angrily.

"Get. Out."

"You giant bitch." Groused Menma as he returned an angry King, Collette coming over to his side, "Expect to get your ass chewed out by the league. This is just pathetic." Surge felt his already paper thin patience break, the bulky man raced towards the younger male with the intent to break his face.

Menma took the hit head on without flinching, his cheek redening with a dark look in his eyes he fished his revolver from his bag and placed it against the man thigh, Surge's eyes widened as the younger male shot him in the leg, pain bloomed like an explosion. Menma leant forward and whispered in the mans ear.

"Don't try it, boy. You'll lose."

End.

Next time, Fuchsia City and the Safari Zone.

If you liked it, lemme know. If you didn't like it, try not to be a salty salamander. If you wanna have vicious hate-sex with someone... try to hold it in. It's probably for the best.

Raxychaz!