It was a typical lunch on a Friday afternoon at Beacon Academy, meaning that Jaune Arc was asking Weiss Schnee to go out on a date with him on the weekend.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?" Jaune asked, moving in a half step, causing Weiss to move away the same distance. "I'll be your slave for a month?" That one got to Weiss, though not in the way Jaune would have liked. The pensive look on her face was not one of thoughtful consideration, but rather one of blank disapproval at how much worse it would be if Jaune was a servant in her household(of which her family already had plenty).

"...No."

"Aw come on, I already said it didn't have to be anything romantic! It could be-"

"NO."

"Go on a date with me if I can beat Ruby in a friendly duel?"

Ruby looked over, pouting. "Hey!"

"What about Blake?" The faunus girl concealed her smile by taking another bite of food. "...Okay," Jaune continued, looking around the cafeteria until he spotted a familiar fall of red hair. "What about Pyrrha?" Weiss genuinely considered accepting the offer, mainly just so Jaune would get his ass handed to him on a silver platter and stop asking for a while.

"...Still no."

"Okay, how about you go on a date with me if I can beat you in a rap battle?" Jaune passionately proposed. Though he hadn't spoken at any louder than his usual Asking Weiss For A Date Volume, the whole cafeteria fell silent and turned in his direction.

"...What."

"It's kind of like poetry," Blake supplied.

"Mixed with insults!" Yang added, clenching her fist.

Weiss paused for a moment, going over the offer A few things came to mind: A, she was hungry, and didn't want Jaune's persistent questioning cutting into her meal; B, she was hungry, and her childhood education included extensive vocabulary and poetry lessons, C, she was really hungry, and figured she could probably beat Jaune at this "rap battle" of his. "...Alright," Weiss said quietly. She walked over to her team's table nearby, and set down her tray. She cleared her throat, and spoke up a bit. "Alright, Jaune. You'll have your rap battle. Let's do this now so it will be over with before lunch."

Gasps and whispers spread across the cafeteria like wildfire, and most surprised of all was Jaune himself. "YES! Yo MC Ren, come on over and lay down a phat beat!" With a sigh, Jaune's teammate Ren came over to stand between him and Weiss.

"Who's going first?" Ren asked reluctantly.

"I'll let Weiss go first," Jaune answered. Ren shrugged, and began to beatbox.

Weiss listened to the rhythm for a moment, and when Ren looked over at her, she jumped in. "Beware, motherfucker- I'm cold as ice
I'll knuckle Dust your mop top, knock out your lights
They call me Eddie Money-" Weiss said, brandishing her fists,
"'Cause I got two tickets to paradise, and-" Weiss was interrupted by the cafeteria going wild; it was several moments before they calmed down enough for her to continue.
"And you'll get black eyes, snake eyes-
You're straight out of luck, guy! Run that back-
I got two tickets to paradise, pair o' dice, parrot lines
From your favorite rapper, and you'll still have no chance

Pair of lights coming down the road, hit it Jaune

And don't bother coming back

Just pack your bags and leave tonight, cause-" The students in the cafeteria grew too loud for Weiss to hear Ren's beatboxing, and in any case Ren tapped Weiss on the shoulder and shook his head, pointing at Jaune and swiping his fingers across his throat.

After a few moments of raucous cheering for Weiss, Ren held up his fist. "Alright, alright! We gotta at least let him take his shot! Come on, quiet down for a second!" After their fellow students simmered down to an excited murmur. "You ready?" Jaune solemnly nodded, and Ren started beatboxing again.

"I won't quote Eminem, but my rhymes are still candy
Why won't you listen, Weiss? Just try to understand me
You took your shot and hit hard, but I'm still standing
Backhands, and insults- constant reprimanding,
You're still the Ice Queen, I won't try to make you melt
But when I first saw you, Weiss- I wish you knew how that felt
A shiver down my spine, pure and simple as snow
You were so refined, I hoped Cupid would take his bow
And put an arrow in a Schnee; my heart was all aglow
You're so dear that in your light, I become paralyzed
I'll take the hit, to find paradise by the dashboard light
Even if I'm in your mirrors, I'll be closer than I seem
You erase where I've been, but chase dust off my dreams!" Jaune stared into Weiss' eyes, and she felt she could almost hear his heartbeat in the silence of the cafeteria. Ruby slowly and hesitantly began to clap, but Yang quickly held her arm down, only to have Blake stand up and start loudly applauding Jaune. Slowly, the rest of the students joined in, Ren briefly meeting Weiss' eyes before shifting away.

What? But, I thought that- how could…? Weiss thought to herself, her mind going a mile a minute to find a way to smooth out this twist of fate. Aha! "I'll have you know-" Weiss began, raising her voice, "I'll have you know this rap battle wasn't sponsored by Schnee Slam International, so the results of this rap battle won't be going on record, and essentially it never happened at all." Turning to her teammates, Weiss said, "I'll be taking my lunch on the roof. I'd like for you to join me." With that, she picked up her tray and wove through the cafeteria, doing her level best to ignore the rising "Bull~shit!" chant.

"I had zeeeero idea either of you could rap like that!" Yang said, bouncing up behind Weiss. "That first verse of yours sure had an icy floe. Eh?" Yang looked to her teammates, but they didn't get it.

"And 'Schnee Slam International?'" Blake asked, raising an eyebrow as she came up on Weiss' other side. Blake noticed Weiss' cheeks were reddening, and Weiss noticed this.

"It's hot in here, I wanted fresh air," She said quietly to Blake.

Blake patted Weiss on the shoulder and gave her a knowing smile. "Whatever you say, Eddie Money."

"Who's Eddie Money?" Asked Ruby, laughing and prancing ahead to throw open the cafeteria doors.

*FREEZE FRAME*

*Credits song: OC ReMix #2435: Sonic 4: E1 'Obsequious Heterophobia of Dr. Melefam Buttfink' Splash Hill Zone 1*

A/N: I've been reading a lot of God Emperor Penguin's stories lately, okay?! *puts on parachute and jumps through first floor window*