I guess I had a pretty good childhood growing up. I had a reasonable amount of friends. I grew up with a nice family. Hell, I even had a crush. Would you count that as a nice, normal childhood? I don't care about your answer, because this is my story. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. This story is about how I messed up by falling in love with this guy. An annoying, loud, cute guy. His name was Mathias Kohler. I haven't seen him since 8th grade. 5 long years without him. Yes, we texted and skyped, but I needed to feel him. Wait, that sounds wrong. Oh god it sounds so wrong.

Anyways, I guess I should tell you how we met? Yeah, I'm going to do that. I have no idea what I'm doing. Feel free to complain. Do keep in mind, I won't listen.

It was the middle of the year in 1st grade when Mrs. Hedervary announced that we had received a new student from Denmark. This kid, whom would end up being my best friend and future crush, was a very interesting little kid. He had bright blue eyes, like everyone else here in Oslo, very VERY wild blond hair. I mean, it was sticking up all over the damn place. He probably still has his stupid hair styled like that. Getting off topic. And that smile, it could light up a whole room. He had a massive amount of freckles. I remember him telling us that he even had them on his butt. I did not need to know that back then.

The kid walked up to the front of the little classroom and announced himself. "Hi there! My name is Mathias Kohler, but you can just call me Mathias. Or Matt. I don't really mind either one!". He smiled for probably the fifth time in ten minutes. I could already tell he would be annoying as hell and I wouldn't like him. Well, I was somewhat right.

"Mathias, why don't you sit next to Lukas?" Mrs. Hedervary told Matthias. If you were wondering who the luck kid named Lukas was, that was me. I, Lukas Bondevik, cried on the inside. I did not want to sit next to this loud, obnoxious, idiotic boy. He sat down next to me despite my telling him off inside my head. Mrs. Hedervary passed out the day's main activity: coloring a picture of a forest. I grabbed for some colors, as did everyone else at my table did. We were the best goddamned there ever was.

We would never ever dare to act up like everyone else, thanks to all of us being the most intelligent kids in our class. We all started to color our pictures, making small talk.

"So, how was everyone's weekend?" Arthur Kirkland, my friend, asked all of us.

"Well, my mom got me an awesome magic kit for my birthday next week because she won't be there." Vladimir Popescu, my other friend, responded.

"It was boring. Emil did nothing other than babble, cry, and sleep. Maybe he pooped his diaper but I'm not sure." I stated. Emil is my younger half-brother from Iceland. His mom married my dad last year when he just turned 2 years old. I heard someone laugh. It was that new kid, Mathias. I kind of forgot that he was there.

"Over the weekend, we drove up from Copenhagen, that's the capital of Denmark, to here. It was pretty boring. My sisters wouldn't stop talking about their boyfriends and how much they were going to miss them when probably by now those guys found other girlfriends. Other than moving around, it was pretty boring." he added. I was astonished. He moved from Denmark to Norway in two days?

"Wait, so you moved from Copenhagen to Oslo in two days? How is that possible?" I inquired. Of course, with my childish mind I didn't know that driving from there only took about 6 hours.

"It doesn't take that long. It's like, 5 or 6 hours from Copenhagen. Plus, we left on Wednesday of last week, so we had much more time to unpack and stuff." Mathias informed us. He smiled and sat back in his seat, coloring the forest picture. I shrugged and continued coloring my own picture. Ok, I thought This kid is somewhat smart. I guess he's ok. We continued to color our pictures. Maybe a hour or so later, Mrs. Hedervary called us for lunch and recess.

Like every lunch, Arthur, Vladimir, and I sat together and ate. But today, it was different. Mathias followed us. He said that he thought I was cool and wanted to be my friend. What was so special about me? I'm a blonde, like everyone else here, with some of it pulled back by a cross pin. And I have dark blue eyes. And a gigantic baby face. Even now I do.

I didn't get this kid at all.

"Why don't you go talk to Logan or Allistor Kirkland? We're trying to eat lunch." I suggested. Mathias's smile faded. He looked hurt.

"Oh, ok. Where are they?" he asked.

"My brothers are over there." Arthur pointed at a table filled with boys. Mathias got up and walked over to where Arthur pointed. The boys brought him into their group as fast as you can say 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'. The rest of lunch went peacefully and so did the rest of the day.

Over the rest of my first grade year, Mathias and I became friends. Then in the second grade, he and I became inseparable. No one really questioned the stuff we did. We would hug, talk like teenage girls, have frequent sleepovers, and other 'non-manly' things. But in 6th grade, that's when we started to get noticed about what we did. This was the year that everyone realised who they liked. Except for us. We, well I, was called 'queer' and 'fag' a lot. But Mathias was always there to beat the kid up.

But something happened in 8th grade. AKA the year I fell in love with that Dane. It was the third of January in 2011 when Mathias told me something. Something fatal. We were sitting at our usual table when he told me he needed to tell me something.

"Hey, uh, Lukas?" he mumbled. Mathias squirmed in his seat.

"Yeah?" I said, looking up from my sandwich. He had a sad look on his face. "What's wrong? You have that look again."

"Yeah, well, uh, this is really hard for me to say but, um, my parents are moving to America. And their taking me with them." I dropped my sandwich into my lap and stared into his eyes, checking to see if he was joking. There was no trace of joke in those blue eyes.

"You, you're moving to America? Wha- why?" I choked on the tears trying to force their way out.

"Don't ask me! Go and ask my dad's job why it has to be so shitty. The fucking hospital. Sometimes I wish that my dad had a different job, like a teacher or something." Mathias hung his head, letting his crazy blonde hair fall into his face. I didn't know what to say. We didn't talk for the rest of the day.

The year sped by faster than I wanted it to. Then the seventh of June came by. The day when Mathias would be leaving for America. Thanks to his dad's job. We spent the whole day around each other, not keeping our feelings to ourselves. We cried and cried until we couldn't muster up any more tears.

I got to go to the airport with the Kohler family to say one last goodbye. I will never forget this day.

Mathias turned around to face me. "Lukas Bondevik. You were my first friend I made when I moved here. Even though you didn't like me at first, I broke down that wall of hatred and you became my best friend here. I will truly miss you." he grabbed me by the soldiers and squeezed me. A few seconds and stares later, he let go and it was my turn to say my voe.

"Mathias Kohler. Even though I thought of you poorly when I first met you, you managed to become my best friend by breaking down that wall inside me. I will always thank you for that. I will really miss you, you bumbling, Danish idiot." we chuckled.

"There's the Norwegian I became friends with." We hugged one last time before his flight was called. As he walked away, Mathias turned around to say one last thing. "I will never forget you, Lukas! And don't you dare forget me!" I laughed and returned the shout. "Don't worry, I don't think I could ever forget that stupid grin of yours that can light up a whole room."

And those were our last words ever exchanged. The rest of the summer was spent e-mailing Mathias. When freshman year came around, I almost cried on the first day. Apparently, we were to share most of our classes. But that never happened. And I never got to confess my feelings.

Over the next four years, things changed. Arthur, Vladimir, and I didn't really talk. So, I was quite lonely. I dated around a bit, none ended very well. But nothing else happened.

Finally, we've caught up with the present. Just so it will all make sense, that was about 14 years ago. That makes me 18. And being 18 means that I was going to college. I recently got accepted into Columbia University in New York. Didn't Mathias say he was moving there? Meh, I don't know. Even if he did move there, it would be impossible to find him.

Anyway, in the month of June, I started to pack my bags. This was going to be fun. I was going to move to America. Land of the free, home of the brave. But the sad thing is, I have to leave my baby brother Emil alone for 2 years. He said that he would try to get enough money to move to America when he was older.

So here I am now, on the seventh of July, putting the last of my things into a box. I stepped back and gave my room one last look-over. This would be the last time I would see this place. Emil walked into my room.

"Time to go, Lukas. The moving truck is here, and I need to get you to the airport." he informed me.

"Ok." I said. Emil walked off. I'm going to miss that little nerd. I grabbed my luggage and met Emil in the car. We drove to the Oslo airport. We went through security and walked in silence to my gate. I turned to my younger brother.

"Listen Emil, I know how you feel right now with me leaving Norway. I went through this before. Contrary to popular belief, I actually have feelings. Remember Mathias Kohler? Yeah, I cried for three days straight because he was my best friend and I ended up falling in love with that idiotic Dane. Anyway, I'm just telling you it's ok to cry when I'm gone. Even though you act like you don't I know that you love me as a brother deep down. And I love you too, Emil." I admitted. I could see tears forming in the 16 year old Icelandic boy I've grown up with. He grabbed me in his arms and hugged me. We stayed like that for a bit.

Emil stayed with me until my flight was called. That was when Eml finally spoke up.

"I'm going to really miss you too, big bro. And also, you were in love with that Mathias? I didn't know that. Have you come out too Mom and Dad?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did fall in love with Mathias. And no, I have not came out yet. I plan on doing it when I come home next year," I hugged Emil one last time. "And Emil, don't be afraid to come out to them either. Don't wait as long as I have, Ok?"

"Ok." he said, tears coming back into those violet eyes of his. We exchanged goodbyes and I got onto my flight. Time for a 7 hour flight to New York. I sat down in my seat and a few minutes later, my flight took off. Just before I went to sleep, I messaged the man I was supposed to be staying with. All I knew about his was that his name was Berwald Oxentirena, he was going to go to the same university as me, and he was Swedish.