Chapter 6 – Mostly Back to Normal

Yamcha touched down in front of Kung Pao Rock, then spun to face the group, throwing his arms out in display, pleasure overwhelming the aggression for the time being. "Welcome to my humble lair!"

"This is your bandit lair? It's huge!" Kakarrot did a quick circuit of the house nee rock formation.

"Holy shit, Yams – this is where you live?!" Bulma looked it over in surprise. Raditz gave her a curious look.

"You've never been here before?"

"No!"

"Only Pu'ar has," Yamcha slapped the rock fondly, "It's our place. And I don't formally live here anymore, but… eh, I come here from time to time, to do upkeep or work out a new Wolf Fang move. Pu'ar only comes out sometimes, when city life gets to be too much for her."

"So, when were you going to show it to us?" Bulma crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't." Yamcha's expression grew a little wistful as he looked up at his long-time home. "Like I said, it's our place – mine and Pu'ar's. No one else's. I'll have to let her know you guys have seen it; hope she's not too upset…"

"Why show it to us at all if it's so private?" Geta asked curiously. He understood about secret places – Bulma had been the first person he'd ever shown his nest to, and he'd worried about it for several weeks before he did it. This revelation seemed surprisingly spur-of-the-moment for something so secret.

Yamcha grinned again. "It was a little unavoidable." Rising into the air, he circled the rock a few times before halting in front of the large 'Kung Pao' sign carved into the rock. Chuckling, he reached into the center of the 'o' – which, when examined closely, appeared to have some fracture lines originating from the center that didn't look very natural – and pulled out-

"The last dragon ball!" Kakarrot cheered.

"And not a moment too soon, with the full moon tomorrow!" Yamcha agreed, landing in front of them, holding out the seven-star dragon ball. The others drew out the balls they had been carrying without prompting – the one- and six-star from Geta's pockets, the four-star from Kakarrot, the two-star from Raditz, and the three and five-star from Bulma. She had insisted they share the balls between them in the event that another dragon ball hunter attempted to steal them. Now the balls sat on the sand, their glow all but obscured by the desert sun.

Bulma glanced at the others. "So, who wants to do the honours?"

"You do it," Yamcha stated, "You started it, you end it."

"Yeah, none of us know how to summon the dragon, anyway," Geta added, though he was looking at the balls curiously; Kakarrot was as well. Raditz, however, appeared antsy, and if he'd had a tail, it would have been twitching.

Bulma raised an eyebrow at him. "Having second thoughts?"

"Not the type you're thinking of," Raditz looked away, "More- if these balls can grant any wish… wouldn't it be better to wish our people back? Give them another chance…"

Yamcha went and put a hand on Raditz's shoulder while the blue-haired woman bit her lip before explaining. "The dragon balls… aren't all-powerful. They have certain limits, and one is that they can't bring anyone back to life who's been dead for more than a year. I'm sorry."

Raditz closed his eyes but nodded. "I had to ask." He took a deep breath before opening his eyes again and punching Yamcha in the shoulder, "Right then, let's get changed before we do this; I don't want my return to the saiyan race to involve holding up shredded clothes."

Yamcha shrugged. "Okay, if you really want to, we can change inside."

Raditz frowned, puzzled, as Yamcha began to head to the doorway. "Why wouldn't I want to?"

Yamcha paused, looking over his shoulder. "Oh, didn't we tell you? Nudity makes you stronger on this planet."

Raditz's expression went blank. "That is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

"No, really, why do you think Geta runs around dressed like that?" Yamcha protested cheerfully, "He's taking advantage of it!"

"I've been here for five months and I have bathed in that time – I know you are lying! Dagore's teeth, I'd know you were lying even if I hadn't! How stupid would you have to be-"

Their voices grew muffled as they went inside. A few moments later they returned, Yamcha walking a little oddly due to his tail being stuffed down one pants leg and Raditz freeing the last of his hair from its braid.

"Okay, everyone ready?" at the affirmative answers she received, Bulma grinned. "Okay then, let's do this! Eternal Dragon, rise up and grant our wish!"

Raditz, Geta, and Kakarrot had been told what to expect with the summoning, but no spoken words or even pictures could ever have been enough to prepare someone to actually see Shenlong appear for the first time.

"I AM SHENLONG, THE ETERNAL DRAGON. REFLECT ON YOUR DESIRES, FOR I SHALL GRANT ANY ONE WISH THAT IT IS IN MY POWER TO GRANT!"

"Shenlong!" Bulma called out, pointing to Yamcha and Raditz, "Return these two men to their original species in the way they'll most benefit from!"

Shenlong's eyes glowed brightly for a moment, and Yamcha and Raditz were surrounded by a nimbus of golden light.

"YOUR WISH IS GRANTED. FARE YOU WELL."

The dragon vanished, and the dragon balls rose into the air and scattered, leaving behind two humans and three saiyans.

"It worked!" Yamcha laughed, looking over his shoulder to make sure his tail was indeed gone and catching a glance at his hair as he did so. "Holy shit, my hair was not that long a month ago!" A bit past his shoulders when the switch was initially made, his hair was now midway down his back.

"Must be the human equivalent of hair growth for how much it grew while you were saiyan," Geta commented, "What do you think Rad-itz… …huh. Was not expecting that."

"What?" Raditz looked up from checking his tail over to see everyone else staring at him, including Yamcha.

Who was still several inches taller than him.

And Raditz's clothes were still feeling awfully loose.

"I… guess it was to your benefit to be shorter?" Geta said uncertainly.

There was silence for a moment. Then Raditz chuckled, running the end of his tail between his fingers and feeling the familiar scar there. It felt like he'd had a blanket muffling his senses for the past month, and now it was finally gone and he could properly feel everything again. "You know, it's almost a relief. I'm not used to things going well or smoothly – at least I'm saiyan again; I think I can survive with being a bit shorter."

"Maybe, but I'm not sure I can get used to being taller than you – it's still pretty weird," Yamcha teased, bending down a little to look the other man directly in the eye.

"Don't worry, you won't have to," Kakarrot said cheerfully before Raditz could respond.

"What?" the two men were suddenly fully focused on the boy, who looked up from where he'd been examining the base of Kung Pao Rock.

"Well he's not going to be that height for long," Kakarrot said matter-of-factly, "I mean, now he smells like growing again. Which is silly, because he's already done that twice, but he does."

"I… wow. I don't see how that happened with the way I worded the wish," Bulma said, looking a little baffled while Raditz went pale. "I spent an hour thinking about how we should word it when we finally got to this point. An hour. Me."

"Actually, it makes total sense," Geta responded before anyone else could, "I mean, they both retained their power levels again, which is a big benefit to Yamcha, since he's gone up a lot recently. And Yams is a martial artist, so strength is important for him, and with the way he's developing his style, a longer reach will be to his benefit, so he's kept the height he gained, and he didn't hit the widening-out part of the growth spurt, so he's still streamlined for speed.

"I'd also be willing to bet that all that refining of his ki abilities that Raditz has been doing has stayed with Raditz, too. Also, Raditz is saiyan, and he says power is really important to saiyans, and the growth spurts are the key time a saiyan gains strength due to being in a constant state of zenkai. And since you've got the resources and leisure to do it properly this time, not to mention a higher base power level, you should get way more out of this spurt than you did with the first two." Geta's smile was bright, "So basically, you're both getting a power-up out of this. Pretty simple when you think about it."

While the other males gaped at Geta, Bulma's look was more speculative. "You do this on purpose, don't you? Act all naïve jungle-boy, to lull people into a false sense of security, then go all intellectual on them."

"I am a naïve jungle-boy, though," Geta protested, "I just happen to be a very well-read naïve jungle-boy."

"Which still leaves the fact that I'm about to repeat my second spurt!" Raditz interrupted, finally coming out of his horrified stupor enough to speak. "I take back what I said about bad luck being comfortably familiar, this is too familiar!"

"Look at it this way," Yamcha slung an arm around the other man's shoulders, "Maybe this is the last of the bad luck using itself up all in one go, and it'll be smooth sailing from here out."

Raditz gave him a slightly morose look. "What's 'sailing?'"

The ex-bandit laughed, a little rueful. "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't know what-" he was interrupted by Raditz's stomach, which let out a huge growl. The once-again saiyan rolled his eyes.

"And so it begins."

Everyone laughed at that, and Yamcha gestured at them to follow him inside. "C'mon, let's get out of the sun, and I'll make us all some supper."

OoOoOoOoOoO

Yamcha was sitting at an outside café table in West City, drinking a cup of tea when a pair of hands covered his eyes. "Guess who!"

He grinned not bothering to turn around. "Hey, Pu'ar, how's it going?"

A giggle accompanied a familiar popping sound, and a small blue cat floated around to hover beside him. "You always guess!"

"You're the only one who does that to me," he caught his old friend up in a hug. "You look good! How's Chae?"

"She's doing well – we're thinking about moving in together. How about you? Still pining after that new guy you were telling me about?"

Yamcha winced. "Eh, it's a little complicated. He's got some stuff to get through first. You tell me your news first."

So Pu'ar floated around to the other chair and sat down, and the two friends spent most of the afternoon catching up, first Pu'ar talking about her work as a bodyguard and Chae's photography, then moving on to Yamcha's adventures during the past month.

"And the last one was in Kung Pao Rock – literally, it was in the center of the 'o;' it must have crashed into it and lodged there the last time someone made a wish," he laughed, then fell silent. His voice was quieter when he spoke again. "They've been there now. To Kung Pao, I mean. They were with me at the time, and I couldn't exactly not take them or-" he stopped as Pu'ar put a paw on his hand.

"It's okay, Yamcha. We're not kids anymore – Kung Pao isn't our secret lair. I'll admit, I'm a little sad that that's how it is, but… we're growing up. I've got a job and a girlfriend, and you're one of the top eight martial artists in the world! And it wouldn't have been 'just ours' forever, anyway – someone else would have found it eventually. I'm glad those someone elses were your friends."

Yamcha blinked. "You're taking this awfully calmly – which is good! – I just… thought you'd be a little more upset."

Pu'ar laughed. "Life is change, Yamcha, and I should know!" with a little puff of smoke, she changed into a young man with blue-grey hair and stuck his tongue out at his friend, then changed back. "Besides, now that you've shown someone, I can take Chae there sometime! I know she'll go wild over the scenery there!"

Yamcha laughed as well. "What did I ever do to get a friend like you?"

"I think it was how you showed me just how tough I could be once I stopped crying. That or your shrimp stir-fry."

"It was probably the stir-fry."

"Probably."

They exchanged a wicked smirk, desert bandits conspiring over their next mark again, if only for a moment. Then Pu'ar couldn't keep a straight face any longer, and the moment was gone.

"So, did anything else happen after you found the last ball, or was that it?"

Yamcha chuckled. "Well, that was it for me. Raditz, on the other hand…"

OoOoOoOoO

Have I mentioned how much I love DBZ Abridged? I freaking love DBZ Abridged, it is the best thing, given the slightest bit of encouragement I will quote it until I run out, and stick references to it wherever I can without compromising the integrity of the story.

One of my universal headcanons is that Kung Pao Rock is Yamcha's place, with Diablo Desert being his territory even when he stops being a bandit, and that, as mentioned, even if he doesn't live in either anymore, he still goes back from time to time to do proper upkeep on it and make sure no one's 'poaching' on his territory – clear out all the lesser bandits and stuff that may have shown up.

Geta, stop that, stop expositioning, that's Yamcha and Raditz's thing, quit stealing their thing. That said, by the time Raditz finishes his third spurt, he and Yamcha'll both be around 3500-4000 power level wise, just to give a relative idea of their numbers (I plan on them remaining pretty even strength-wise in this universe). I'm actually okay with the height Yamcha is normally, but it felt kinda mean to make him suffer through growing that much and then erasing it on him. He is now 6'4" tall, and will remain so for the rest of this series, making him actually taller than Tien by two inches in a bizarre twist. Raditz will regain his regular in-universe height of 7'0".