Chapter Eight

IVY'S POV

How much time does Rachel have now? How much time had gone by? An hour? A day? I didn't know anymore, nor do I really care if my dear heart would just stay. If Rachel is breathing, no matter how raspy or how shallow, if she is still alive, I honestly don't give a fuck about anything right now. The rain still beat against the church windows like bullets and that is the only sound I can hear besides Rachel's weak heart pounding stubbornly in her chest. The phone lines were still down, our phones still had no reception and nobody was coming to help. The only thing that had changed since Rachel last spoke was her condition.

Rachel was leaning more heavily against me, she was putting her entire weight on me as if she had no strength of her own, which she doesn't. Rachel's breath was rattling, shuddering with every inhale and exhale, she was coughing every now and again. Just hearing how weak and broken she was made my heart clench and brought tears to my eyes. There were dark circles nested underneath her eyes, her skin was pale but her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were unfocused as though she was seeing the world through a filter. The love of my love was dying, I knew that in my very soul and there wasn't a damn thing that I could do to stop it. The person that I loved more than anything in the entire world is dying, and I could do nothing but watch helpless to prevent her fate.

This can't be how it all ends. It can't be over! IT CANNOT BE OVER WITH US YET! A strangled whimper escaped me as I realized that we hadn't even had a chance yet and she was already leaving me. I just find out the truth of why Rachel won't give us a chance and she is already giving up on us! Logically I knew that Rachel wasn't giving up on us and that she wouldn't be dead forever, but it still hurt that she was leaving me.

Jenks was pacing back and forth on the arm of the couch, muttering to himself and glaring at nothing, obviously lost in his dark thoughts. I had no outlet to let my anger out on, I had to be strong for Rachel and I couldn't move without disturbing her injuries. I couldn't even cry, lest Rachel see my tears and I know how much she hates to see me cry, which is exactly how I feel when I see her cry. What Rachel needed right now is someone to be strong for her, she needs someone that she could lean on. Glancing at Jenks again, I concluded that Rachel isn't the only one I need to be strong for.

After a while I saw Rachel's eyes fluttering open, each slow blink of her lashes showed me how tough it was to just open her eyes until finally they opened and stayed open fixed on me. It was the first time that she'd floated back to consciousness for a while and I am torn from being happy to see those emerald orbs and hoping she would close those pain filled eyes so I don't have to witness any more of her pain.

"Are you cold?" I softly asked, noticing her shivers and figuring that her head is hurting from how much concentration she is using just to keep her eyes open. The least I could do was make her as comfortable as I can, while I still can as morbid as that is.

"No," her voice was soft and breathy. "I'm 'kay. Ivy…don't…don't be sad. D-don-don't be a- a- alo- alone." Rachel's voice stuttered and broke as speaking seemed much harder for her and taxing on her strength.

"What?" I asked incredulously hoping that I hadn't heard her right. I was hoping she wasn't honestly suggesting…

"You shouldn't be alone." she coughed sounding more coherent as she fiercely spoke seemingly determined to say this. "An' until I can be there, you shouldn't…shouldn't…"

"Don't talk like that." I warned her, my voice breaking as I realized she really was suggesting that I could move on and love someone else until she comes back. She has no right! No right to ask me this!

"I-I'm so-sorry t-that I w-w-wait-waited s-so long." Rachel gasped, gulping as if she was drowning and trying to get some air. Ignoring my attempts to shush her she stubbornly persisted, "w-wi-wish I…w-wish," taking another gulp of air she continued her voice much more breathy and weak than before. "I c-could t-ta-take it all b-ba-back. H-hur-hurt you," she gasped as pain wracked her body with tremors and shivers, "s-so m-mu-much. H-how d-do you for-forgive me?"

I stroked my hand through her damp and sweaty hair, she had broken into a fever and it was sapping what little energy and strength she had left, talking was not helping either. "Because I love you." I replied simply as if that explained everything, which it did. No matter how much she put me through, no matter how many times she teased me or hurt me, no matter how many times she gave me hope only for them to be crushed, I would endure it all again one hundred times over again if only to have loved her and to have been loved by her in return. Every heartache, every scare, every loss and every adventure was worth it to have known Rachel and to have stood by her side. It was worth it, every single second.

For the first time, I did not hesitate over the words that I had longed to say. The words that I longed to tell her when I knew for sure that I would not be disappointed again. Time was too short and if I never said this once before I lose the light in my life than I know I would have failed at love... In a few short hours, maybe even less, I would be alone and broken again, I would be without my anchor.

Squeezing my eyes tightly shut to stave off more tears, I breath through my nose and told her my biggest truth. "I love you too." I could hear the ghost of a smile in her voice as she asked me, "c-can you…get me some water? P-please?"

Another knife went through my gut when I heard how feeble and weak she sounds. "Of course, baby." I pressed a final kiss on her head as I gently steadied her shoulders with my hands and slipped out from behind her making sure to be as careful as I can. Regardless she whimpered in pain and I cursed myself for causing her pain. Jenks drifted after me into the kitchen, looking morosely at Rachel as we left. Once in the kitchen I couldn't stay strong anymore and though I wanted to be strong for Jenks too, I just couldn't. Steadying myself on the kitchen counter, I hung my head as a sob burst free without my permission. Raising a shaking hand to attempt to muffle my cries, I could help but whimper pathetically. I cant believe how much I am failing my family by falling apart when they need me to be a pillar of strength for them.

"I don't know what to do, Jenks." I cried in distress, hating myself as I lost myself in my heartache. "Rachel's dying and I don't know what to do! I am not ready for this! Fuck I am not ready for this!" I cried, feeling my chest constrict and breathing heavily. I was dimly aware that I was falling into a panic attack, but I was too lost to care. Maybe if I fall into the darkness and the numbness I won't hurt as much. Maybe I won't have to face this.

Distantly I heard Jenks voice as he called my name and urged me to breathe. Realizing what was happening and how utterly useless I would be to Rachel if I lost myself to my panic attack, I returned to the world to see Jenks put his hands on his hips and let out a shrill whistle. After seeing that I was back, he let out a relieved breath, his wings fluttering in relief as well.

"Thank fuck! I thought you were going to croak! It's bad enough that the roads are closed, the phones down, and we have a dying demon. We do not need a catatonic vampire to add to already huge pile of shit gone wrong today!" Jenks damn near screeched in panic. Realizing that we really did not need that on top of everything else, I winced and smiled sheepishly at him in apology. With a sigh, I realized that we needed to talk about this, but I will not have him talk about Rachel's dea- Rachel's situation like that.

"Shut up, Jenks, or I will smack your pixy ass so hard that it will take you back to the Turn!"

Seeing that I was serious and back to my normal self, the little man sobered. "She is dying, Ivy," he reminded me quietly as if I didn't know how serious this is. As if I didn't realize that my heart is dying on the couch in the living room of our home, our sanctuary. As if I don't realize that I will be alone again soon.

"I know." the admission came out in a groan of despair. "I can't watch her die, Jenks. I can't do it. Even knowing that she will come back, how much different will she be? How long will I have to wait for her to come back to me? I can't do this. And she's given me everything I ever wanted. Now I must watch her die. It's not fucking fair, Jenks. It's not right."

Jenks flitted around the room again. He had never seen me like this. I had never let myself be this way in front of anyone. Except perhaps Kisten and Rachel. But he was different. We were the same, with our strengths and weaknesses. As for Rachel, well of course I would fall apart around her, she is the one person who makes me human with all that entails.

"Ivy," Jenks landed on my hand, "we may have one option."

"Tell me." I whispered, too numb to feel hope and fully prepared to resign myself to wait for her.

"Newt." Jenks' wings buzzed. "She and Rachel are one and the same. Granted Rachel is not as bat shit cray-cray as Newt, but they are the last of their kind. They are the only two female demons left. Not to mention Rachel keeps her sane, and Newts DNA runs through her veins from whatever Trent Sr. did to her. In a way Newt is her demonic mother in a sense. Surely, she'll know how to help. Surely, she'll want to help, if not out of some maternal bond than out of gratitude if nothing else. As much as I don't want that insane as fuck demon back here, she may be Rachel's only shot."

"No." my hands shook as I filled a glass of water for Rachel. "It's too much of a long shot, Jenks. Newt will only help for a price. She'd might not agree. And I don't deal with demons."

Jenks' eyes were as hard and sharp as the blade of my sword. "That's bullshit and you know it! Rachel is a demon and you deal with her and don't you dare say it's different Tamwood, we both know what she is. If you love her half as much as you say you do, you pussy assed vamp, then you'll do this no matter what."

"How?" I was at wit's end, I knew he was right but I am terrified of all the ways that this could go wrong. "Shit-for-brains is in the wind, Keasley and Ceri are out of reach. I'm not a witch, Jenks. I have no magic and neither do you. Even if it's possible that Newt could help her, we have no way of getting her here."

Jenks frowned. "Rachel could call her."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair in agitation that he still didn't get it. "Rachel's having a hard time trying to breathe and honestly it is a miracle that she is. Besides, I don't think she could call a demon, even if she wanted to, which let's face it she wouldn't."

The pixy looked worried and his wings twitched in aggravation at how dire the situation really was. "It's our only shot, Ivy. Rachel's. Only. Chance. Unless you want to wait for her to return, however many years it takes."

"Goddamit, don't you think I know!" I shouted, more afraid of losing Rachel than of losing my control around the annoying bug. "I don't know what to do, Jenks."

My partner turned sharper than pixy steel as he reached the end of his rope "You go in there. You get Rachel onto unsanctified ground. You tell her to call Newt or she dies. That's what you do, Ivy Tamwood. Rachel has a way out of this. Are you going to sacrifice her because you're scared of demons? Get over yourself and save her life!" His eyes turned sharper than diamonds as he finished his ultimatum, "or watch her die!

Sucking in a breath at the implications, I finally relented. Pushing myself away from the sink, I grabbed the glass of water, and stalked back into the living room, back to Rachel.

Rachel weakly smiled at me as best as she could as I knelt beside her. "You look so worried," she murmured as she peered at me through half-lidded eyes. It won't be long now, Ivy thought to herself despondently.

"I am worried." I confirmed as I lifted the glass to her lips, feeling as if my heart was in my throat. "Rachel…Rachel…you're dying."

"I know." she took a ragged breath, sounding so at peace with it that it scared me. "I know what it feels like."

"Jenks…and I…" I can't believe I'm saying this, "Think Newt can help."

I watched for the shadow of emotion washed over her face at the idea. I waited for the fear, for the uncertainty, for the anger. Rachel swore up and down that she wasn't a black witch; that she didn't deal in demons. Yet every time she managed to step away from the ever-after, it called her back. No matter how much she denies it she is one of them. Jenks said it best, we know what she is, but Rachel refuses to see it.

"Ivy, I don't…"

"I know you don't want to do this…"

"…want to die." she smiled at me to my surprise. I honestly thought she would put up a fight but she looks at peace, which frightened me because peace and Newt do not belong in the same sentence. EVER!

"Okay." I couldn't hide the grief in my voice as well as the relief that she is letting me try and help her. "Okay," I said to myself as if to confirm what she said. With a small smile, I gently lifted her to take her to the kitchen to summon a demon.