So I'm saying this now, I do not Like RWBY. The show is borderline retarded, storywise. The characters annoy me and the only redeemable part of it is the fight scenes. So don't expect a long of similarities between this and the cannon, also for the moment this will just be a one-shot until I get more done with 'Trainer for Hire' and 'The Great Bloodied One'.

No gaping of tight little asses yet though, that's for later. Basically this'll be a smut-fic, the story'll be there sure, I'd feel like I was committing a cardinal sin if there wasn't, but the smexytimes will be the main focus.

Start!

What is a Hunter/Huntsman, whatever.

Some people will tell you a Huntsman is one who safeguards humanity from the Grimm, protectors of the world and other such things. Not untrue but not exactly correct either.

The truth of the matter is the a Hunter is a mercenary. One who is paid for a job and executes the job to the best of their ability. Typically the job does involve killing the creatures of Grimm but most of the time it does not. The younger Hunter's for example typically stay within the bounds of Vale or other kingdoms and take jobs within, venturing out only for trials and other such things.

Typically.

There are exceptions to this rule, usually Hunters apprenticed to veterans, or people with eyes bigger than their bellies who want to seek glory ASAP.

Or there were those rare gems who just wanted to be away from people and figured practical learning was the best route to take, our protagonist for today is one such creature.

Dark Forests

Deep within a grotto that had been secreted away from the beasts during the night a single figure sat at the fireside, the instant feature one would notice is the pelt of an Ursa slung over his head, falling down to his legs like a macabre cape, the beasts skull made a fine helmet, he just had to keep it away from high-intensity flames and it wouldn't burst into nothing.

That was a lesson learned through pain.

He was bare chested, revealing several small, faded scars all over his torso and a well kept frame. Not exactly rippling with enough muscle to mince meat but one could easily see the work he'd put in over the years his arms especially were very toned due to his weapon of choice. His hands and forearms were covered by black, clawed fur gloves. Sewing out here was a nightmare but it was easily done after so much practice. His pants appeared to be snake-skin, it worked to his aesthetic that all Grimm were black in colour, he'd look ridiculous with brightly coloured animal hide on him. His boots were made of leather, like his gloves and they too had fur at the top of them but that was more so his feet weren't rubbed raw from the leather.

All in all he looked like the picture of barbarism, the giant, wicked looking cleaver-axe hybrid at his side certainly helped in that respect. It started off a simple cleaver when he was quite young and he'd first made it, but after years of tinkering and upgrading he'd made it into a handheld warmachine. The way it worked was that is sucked blood into the core of the blade and converted the minerals in the blood to make the blade heavier, and denser so each consecutive strike was harder and had more crushing potential. It took him months of study to actually get the blood-vacuum to work properly.

"Supplies are running low, should head on back to Vale..." Rumbled the barbarous man with a sigh, "Probably best to return to civilization anyway, been out here for what... 5 years? Hate to think what my old lady's gonna say." He hated to admit it but he did this entire thing mostly out of spite for the position his family needed him in, political reasons and such.

Nothing of great import, familial relations and all that jazz. If it was of utmost importance he'd never have left. "Ah well, this has been fun but I suppose being a nomad in the woods isn't exactly a life plan." With a sigh he grabbed his cleaver, shouldering it and grabbing the bag that held all his survival supplies, what he didn't pull off the land anyway. He fished out a small device, tapping the top it folded out into an orb with a tri-pod to hold it up, Menma tapped the top of the homing beacon and put in the call to return home.

"Saves me time I suppose." He thought aloud, running towards the nearest clearing and planting the beacon.

Nearby Bullhead.

Team JNPR were in the cargo hold of their return trip Bullhead, happily basking in the afterglow of a job well done, hunting down a pack of Beowolf's from a town on the outskirts, mostly populated by Faunus incidentally. Getting started on their hunt was a bit more strenuous because of the tension their humanity caused amongst the populous.

Suddenly a loud beeping noise sounded from the front of the airship, "What's that?" Asked Jaune Arc, blond, spikey haired Knight, a traditional sword and board fighter, sporting white plated armour over his clothing, Jaune was the leader of team JNPR.

"A distress beacon from the forests below..." Answered the Pilot as a they were being hailed, "Hello? Are you the one who is using the beacon?" The Pilot asked.

"Yes, would it be too much trouble to catch a ride back to civilisation?" Asked the rough voice, politely.

"I'll need to confirm your identity sir." Said the Pilot. Information began flashing on the screen, the image of a red/black haired man appeared, a name scrolled up as did a few choice details. "Alright Mr. Uzumaki, keep your head low. We'll be landing soon."

"Thank you very much." Came the greatful voice as the transmission ended, the Pilot called to the team over the PA, "We'll be dropping course for a moment, we're picking up a distress beacon."

The only problem with making this much noise, from both the beacon and the Bullhead was that all the Grimm in the immediate area began to flock, Ursa, Beowolfs even a few young Stalkers.

The crew of the Bullhead came upon the sight of a man clad in a black pelt with a bloodied cleaver-shaped greatsword tearing through the horde of beasts, "We'll drop down and help him, open the hatch!" Shouted Jaune, his team prepping to land only for the man to stab his blade into the ground, pillars of red liquid began to shoot up into the air, and then break into serpentine tendrils, ripping through the Grimm waiting in the wings, the man roared with enough ferocity to scramble the pack.

They seemed to know better.

The Grimm fled and the man shouldered the blade, stepping back so the Bullhead could land, the cargo door opening, he was spotless of blood, but the ground was soaked. Pyrrah, Nora and Ren blinked in shock when he casually walked into the Bullhead and took a seat across from them, "Mornin'." He greeted with a wave as he set the blade down, a short girl with orange hair popped into existence next to him.

"Hey there I'm Nora, nice to meetcha! Wow that's a big sword! Look at those arms! Oh my dust this is so soft!" She began petting the pelt he wore over his head, Menma just rose a brow though he did enjoy the compliments, "Wow you have really pretty eyes, like little bits of molten gold I bet you could sell them for a bunch! But then you'd be blind and probably wouldn't be able to do that cool 'PILLAR OF BLOOD!' thing you did before, how did you do that by the way?" He paused, not even slightly puffed from the tirade of questions, Menma liked this girl. She was a strange one but strange was fun if nothing else.

"Menma Uzumaki, pleasure." He offered his hand and she took it with a big grin, her teammates were gaping at the general lack of reaction this strange man had to their livewire of a teammate. "The pelt is off an Ursa Alpha I killed, tip, they're weak on their side, 'round about the third rib seems to be oddly soft so you can do some fatal damage if you get 'em there." Informed the man, Nora already had a little notepad out and jotted that down, not even wavering her stare from his.

"Thank you oh mighty bear man!" Nora said grandiously, Menma cracked a smile at that. Before something clicked into her head and the questions began again, "How come you were out there?"

"Personal reasons. Good fun though." He brushed off the question, he wasn't about to tell his life story to the first cute girl he saw.

"I'm sorry for Nora she can be a bit... energetic, I'm Lie Ren." Introduced the slothly youth, black hair with a pink streak, sporting a mostly green outfit, Menma only thought slothly because the boy had a very tired look on his face whilst the others all looked generally energized, so either he had a poor sleep or tired out quicker.

Then again sloths were adorable so he left it without a comment.

"No need to apologize, I just figure it's not something I should be spreading around. Though I do thank you for the pick up, and the pilots. Saved me waiting for someone else." He tipped the hard skull on his head like a hat and almost grinned when the blond boy cringed.

"How'd you manage to skin an Ursa Alpha so precisely?" Asked Nora, "I thought they had like super tough skin."

"They do, but I don't carry a giant sword for no reason." He gestured to the wicked looking blade, still slightly damp from the blood it had accumulated.

"Savage." Chimed Nora with another grin.

"Indeed." He agreed, "Where are we headed by the by?" He asked absently, as though it just occurred to him.

"Back to Beacon Academy, we just finished a mission." Informed the firey redhead woman garbed in bronze coloured armour, and me oh my did she have some nice hair. "Pyrrah Nikos, by the way, nice to meet you." She smiled as he nodded.

"Oh? Students, interesting. What year are you?" Menma asked, suddenly very interested.

"First year." Spoke the blond, "Jaune Arc, and you are...?" Menma blinked for a moment before realization crossed his face.

"Oh I'm sorry was I mumbling again, Menma Uzumaki. I have a bad habit, comes with talking to myself a lot." He informed with a chuckle, Jaune sweated slightly at that.

"They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." Nora chimed in once more.

"Well willingly picking up the profession to hunt dangerous monsters for life isn't exactly sane either." He shot back, Nora feigned a wounding. Menma turned to them all, "So first years eh..? Mind if I ask you a question?" He asked, getting a few slightly confused looks but still Jaune spoke up.

"Uh, yeah sure." Eloquent.

"What is a Huntsman?" He asked, a critical gaze.

"Wait aren't you one?" Asked Pyrrah, beffudled.

"I am, but I'm asking you anyway." Acquiessed Menma, looking at them all expectantly.

"Well, someone who hunts the creatures of Grimm to protect people." Supplied Jaune easily, getting nods of accent from his team.

"Not wrong, but not correct either." Menma said, Jaune scrunched his face up, confused. "A hunter is little more than a glorified mercenary, taking money for jobs. Admittedly most of those jobs involve the Grimm in one way or another, but it's equally possible it won't. A hunter is a blade for hire, sold off to the highest bidder. That's not to say your idealism is wasted on the profession, as your choice of job is up to you. But this idea that we're defenders of the free world, selflessly sacrificing ourselves for the greater good is incorrect." He looked at them to see their skeptical expressions.

"You look like this is the first time someone has said something remotely like that before." He observed.

"Probably because it is." Pyrrah supplied.

Menma blinked before humming, "Well. Sorry about that, didn't mean to get all preachy on ya." With a shrug he pulled off his pelt-cape and shook out his flattened hair, it was black with red streaks it really made his molten gold coloured eyes pop. "Kinda bad at interacting nowadays, not so good with social norms." He continued, smiling lightly.

"It's an interesting way of looking at things, I'll say that." Ren admitted, "Sounds a little bleak I'll admit."

"Honestly it was a self-fulfilling conclusion." Menma informed, "My old man was a Hunter, I shadowed him a lot when I was young, he did everything from cleanup to paid killings."

"'Paid killings' sounds kind of ominous." Jaune said, wearily.

"Well when the government needs someone dead they'll usually either hire a hitman or a hunter." Menma informed.

"Wait what?!" Yelped the blond boy, Menma blinked in response.

"When the government needs someone dead they'll usually either hire a hitman or a hunter." Menma said it a little slower this time, the boy twitched.

"Not what I meant. I mean your father got paid to murder people and you're totally okay with that?"

"Well money is money, killing people isn't so far different from killing Grimm. From what I saw they just jump around a lot less."

"You were there!?"

"Could you please stop yelling, it's kinda hurting my ears." Menma requested, covering his ears.

"This is starting to get good." Nora said, buzzing with excitement. "What else happened?"

"Nora..." Ren Sighed.

"Nothing else really, I just helped my old man out with a few jobs, when I started training in proper he retired with my mother, and focused on raising the sprogs and helping me with my practice."

Beacon Academy.

The rest of the trip was mostly awkward, apparently people didn't take kindly to the fact his father, and by proxy he, had been a contract killer on more than one ocassion.

Menma didn't really understand it, they were all murderers in one way or another, and usually hunters were more brutal with Grimm because they were 'monsters'. People could be equally monstrous to hungry beasts.

But that was neither here nor there, the Bullhead docked and the passengers were out in a few seconds, Team JNPR bidding the barbarous man farewell for now, Nora slipped him a little scrap of paper and winked impishly at him.

"She gave me her number... yeeeup. Still got it." He pulled out his scroll and put the number into his contacts list with a smug little smirk, the 'dangerous wilder' approach always worked on at least one woman. "Anyway, better go say hi to ol' Oz before heading home."

An on again off again acquaintance of his parents, Ozpin was the headmaster of Beacon Academy. Menma recalled on many occasions when his father would drop him off with the grey haired man because he and his mother were off killing bigguns, the pair got along well enough but his parents and the man always had a few moral disputes.

placing his pelt back on properly and shouldering his giant sword he began walking towards the academy while dialing a familiar number on his scroll, a light chime noise began to play until it was answered, "Hello? Ozpin speaking."

"Oz, it's Menma. I'm at your academy and I figured I'd drop in to say hi, you busy?" He asked with a chuckle at the sound of a coffee cup being dropped.

"Dust, Menma! It's been years how have you been!? Of course, I'll meet you outside just give me a moment." Menma grinned as the man hung up, he slid the scroll shut and slipped it into his bag, finding a seat near a fountain surrounded by a garden and figured it a nice enough spot.

Placing his cleaver against the wooden seat and pulling the hood of his pelt off he sighed contentedly, it was good to be back in civilisation again, at least he didn't have to be looking over his shoulder all the time for Grimm. Though the stares he was getting from a few students were hard to miss.

Closing his eyes he just let himself relax for a moment, "Umm... excuse me sir." Came a small voice.

Menma's eyes opened and he saw a young woman with dark hair, pale skin and bright silver coloured eyes. "How can I help you?" Menma asked, straightening his sitting position slightly.

"It's just that I've never seen you here before, which isn't hard as there's lots of people at Beacon but you do kinda stick out and that sword is enormous! So I was just wondering what you were doing sitting out by the fountain?"

"I'm just waiting for Ozpin, it's been a while since we saw one another and I figured it'd be good to catch up." Informed Menma, getting a nod of acknowledgement, her eyes kept darting between him and his weapon, "Hey." He snapped, without any force behind it, her attention firmly planted on him, "My eyes are up here, stop lookin' so lustfully at my big sword." Like he suspected the double entendre was lost on her and she just blushed at being caught in such an awkward manner.

"Sorry! I just really like seeing new weapons and I've never seen a sword that big before." She admitted awkwardly, "Oh! I'm Ruby by the way, Ruby Rose."

All of a sudden the red cape made so much more sense.

"Menma Uzumaki." He introduced with a slight tilt of his head, she gasped slightly.

"Are you related to the Uzumaki family that runs the weapons shop in Vale?" She asked quickly.

"I am, my father and mother run the business." Menma informed getting a squee in response.

"That's so cool! Your parents have such great style to their weapons, I got most of the smaller parts for Crescent Rose there." He pulled out a folded red rectangle, and in a few shifts of gears it extended into a wicked looking scythe, Menma whistled in appreciation.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." He praised, "This big bastard isn't anything overly special, just a heavy bit of sharpened metal that's really good at killing things." He said tapping the sword with his knuckles.

"Really? I figured you'd add something a little... more to it. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's a great weapon!" She quickly amended, Menma chuckled and waved her off.

"You're like a scared little bunny, I'm not gonna eat you... yet." Once more that went over her head but he was thoroughly amused, chuckling to himself. Ruby blinked cluelessly, "Ah, you're adorable. Don't worry I'm just kidding around with you, I keep my sword low-tech for a few reasons, the biggest one being that I like the look on peoples face when I whip it out."

"I imagine it's something like 'AHH GET RUN FOR THE HILL!'." She gave a mock scream of terror, getting another few chuckles from him, and a nod.

"Pretty much that, yes." Menma said, amused.

"That does seem to be the usual approach you take." A familiar voice called, Menma looked over his shoulder to see a grey haired man with glasses and a cane in his hands, he grinned, hopped up and over the bench before walking towards the man with open arms.

"Oz! It's been a while, how are ya?" He greeted, the man returned the hug and pat the younger man's back with a chuckle.

"I've been well, though where exactly have you been? Galavanting in the forests again?" Ozpin assumed, and was correct in that assumption.

"Indeed, Miss Rose and I were just discussing my giant sword when you turned up, I suppose it's not proper to speak about such things with an audience though."

"None of that with my students young man." Snapped Ozpin with a narrow gaze, Menma's grin turned wolfish, "Miss Rose why don't you go find your team, It's been a long time since I saw my dear friend and I'd like to catch up with him uninterrupted." Ozpin asked, Menma could see the annoyance on the man's face and only found joy from it, Ruby nodded with a smile on her face.

"It was nice meeting you Menma!" She chirped before zipping off, Menma and Ozpin took a seat on the bench.

"So, what have you been doing?" Ozpin asked.

"Galavanting in the forests." Menma answered with a smile, pulling up the pelt, the head of the Ursa getting an appraising eye from the Headmaster, "To be honest though I just wanted to get away from it all, mum and dad are fine raising the sprogs and I wanted time to myself."

"Three years of silence is a long time, Menma." Ozpin said.

"I've been in the forests for five years actually, I just stopped contacting everyone after two because I had to do less and less supply runs." Ozpin sighed, "Well I'm sorry I just didn't want to end up with some prissy little sow because mummy dearest is friends with her mother."

"Surely she wasn't being serious." Ozpin assured only to be with a deadpan stare.

"The crazy woman was having a contract drawn up, the girl was barely breaking double digits when I was 12. That's not the only reason of course, it'd be ridiculous if it was, but it one of the main ones." Explained Menma, "Independence was another, I wanted time to figure myself out, what I want out of life, who I am. That kinda stuff, and I wanted to do it away from the hustle and bustle of bullshit. Like money, I fucking hate money. Such a pain in the ass to get, going into the woods and living off shit that I kill was much easier."

"How so?" Ozpin asked, he had to admit he was quite curious about this.

"Well if I'm hungry I hunt something, I kill it, cook it and eat it. That's it for the day, aside from contemplating my own existence and killing Grimm that was all I had to do. It was actually quite cathartic, all the stress of the outside world just falling away." He sighed serenly, "I'll admit I'm a complete piece of shit for just up and running off like that, not gonna deny it for a second but I stand by my decision."

"You always have been a very interesting person, Menma." Observed Ozpin with a shake of his head, "Still, seeing you here reminds me of when you were young and you'd show up on my doorstep, bored out of your mind and demand my time."

"That is exactly what I've done now, some things never change, Oz." Menma added, much to the older man's amusement, "I'm glad I came back though, it's about time I got outta that forest and back to reality."

"Does that mean you're going to start wearing proper clothes again?" The Headmaster asked with a smirk.

"Ha! Good one, no." Menma said with a smile before turning flat, "Pants and shoes, yes. Shirts feel uncomfortable and this pelt, feel it Oz. Oh it's sho shoft... Oh hello Mr. Oz. I am a pelt and a paw, rawr." Menma's voice heightened in pitch but dropped in volume as he picked up one of the paws on the pelt and began poking Ozpin with the dead bears claw-less paw.

"You're ridiculous." Muttered the Headmaster, a large smile working its way onto his face as the dead pelt paw kept tapping at his cheek, he broke finally and began laughing loudly, Menma followed suit as mirth poured off them both.

"Oh bloody fuck I missed you, Oz." Menma said, throwing an arm over the man's shoulder and giving him a half-hug, the pair shook off their remaining laughter before sitting quietly.

"I don't suppose you'd be interested in passing on those survival skills of yours, would you?" Ozpin asked, raising a brow.

"If you're asking what I think you're asking, yes. BUT! I want creative freedom over how I drill lessons into them." Menma wiggled his eyebrows whilst Ozpin curled his lip in annoyance.

"Still tarty as ever." The grey haired man commented.

"Ozpin I am no tart! Sir I am a chaste and noble gentlemen." Menma replied, placing a hand over his heart and acting as offended as possible.

"The sheer amount of bullshit you're dribbling right now could be used to fertalize every garden on campus." Sniped the older man.

"Shots fucking fired." The barbarous hunter commented with a laugh.

End

So that's it for now folks. I hope you enjoyed the groundwork. Also the whole 'saying without saying it' thing I'm going for, just take a look at it again if you need to.

It's not some grandiose thing I just think it's nifty.

Anyway, if you liked it tell me, if you didn't tell me, if you're a dog secretly using a computer, pics or it didn't happen.

Raxychaz!