Title: The Problem with Subtlety
Fandom: Free!
Pairings: Rin/Sousuke
Rating: T
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: N/A
Summary:

The countdown to Rin's return to Australia leaves Sousuke feeling more lonely than before, and he wonders just how long their friendship can last.

For: tumblr user peristeal (for winning the fic giveaway I hosted)

A/N:

This was a lot of fun to write, despite it being hard. I absolutely loved the idea and I hope that it came out to be what you wanted. Thank you so much for liking my fics! I hope this one doesn't disappoint.

The Problem with Subtlety

"Get up," Rin huffed, shoving at Sousuke's back. "You're taking up all of the space, and this is my bed!"

Sousuke groaned, rolling over until he was against the wall, ignoring the fact that if he was going to just fall asleep he should crawl up into his own. Rin had taken too long finishing whatever it was he was doing at his desk and he just didn't have the energy to stay awake and lucid while the other did it. Rin's complaints were so soft they came with the click of a tongue and Sousuke grinned a little to himself, knowing that he was annoyed but wasn't going to bother kick him out.

His was proven right when the other slid in, the sound of a magazine opening reaching his ears. Rin was on his side, creating the smallest of spaces between them, but he still shivered at the gentle feel of it. This kind of closeness wasn't new to him, but it was different from when they were young. It didn't feel so acute, the shifts in the other's body weight or the light brush of his arm when he rolled his shoulder and stretched his neck. Even with eyes open Sousuke could feel it all, hear it all.

He knew why it was different now, stronger now, than it was before, but that wasn't so important. What was important was the little ways Rin gave in to the comfort of physical touch. The way that he shifted in such a minute way but suddenly their backs were touching in more places than they weren't, and the heat of it was comforting. The way he didn't move away when Sousuke relaxed into it, exhilarating.

Sousuke guessed that it might be his way of making up for the years lost, or maybe what had happened in the relay, feeling responsible for his shoulder. Rin was easily affectionate with all of his friends, but there had been a noticeable distance between them when he had returned. Like a paper thin barrier between them, not so big that others would notice but enough to still feel. He had a feeling Rin wasn't the sole creator of it, since although it seemed to shrink after a while of him being there, it hadn't disappeared until the truth came out about his injury.

The sound of the magazine hitting the floor, a sort of clapping noise against the wood, was loud enough to make Sousuke flinch. Then there was a shift in the bed and he could feel that Rin was on his back, his shoulder to his elbow pressed against him. All at once Sousuke felt tense, and warm. The silence becoming deafening in his burning ears.

"Hey," Rin called to him quietly. "If you're going to sleep get in your own bed."

"Who says I'm going to bed? Isn't it only seven?" Sousuke hummed.

"Isn't that your normal bed time, old man?" Rin scoffed, sitting up.

"M'not old," Sousuke grumbled, making a show of it, though they both broke down into fits of laughter not a second later. Sousuke twisted himself to see Rin's grin before he sat up, rubbing the back of his head in a poor attempt at fixing his hair. Noticing Rin's silence he glanced at the other. "Something on your mind?"

"Nothing important," Rin mumbled, getting up off his bed and walking over to the closet. "Just thinking it'll be kind of boring not living with you."

Sousuke chuckled, a teasing 'miss me already?' on his tongue but never leaving it. Instead he just hummed in agreement. He was going to miss him too, and with only a week left and boxes slowly getting packed only made it more apparent. The reality of their limited time together had come quicker and with more force than the first time, and Sousuke was left feeling empty even with Rin by his side.

"Want to go out for a walk?" Rin asked, already putting on his jacket. Sousuke watched the way Rin's eyebrows rose at his silence, a small question in his downturned lips. Sousuke smiled and looked away, shying from the sight before him. He stood up after a second and shrugged.

"Sure."

~~xx~~

"Ah, shoot."

Sousuke glanced at Rin, turning from the papers on his desk and saw a broken cord in his hands. The pendant laying on the floor. Sousuke shifted in his seat to face him, watching as the other grabbed it off the floor and glared.

"That was my favorite necklace too," he grumbled.

"How'd it break?" Sousuke asked, smirking at the way Rin jumped, not noticing the other had been paying attention. He scowled and looked down at the pendant in his hands and the cord.

"I don't know, just kind of fell apart. It was kind of worn out anyways," he said with a sigh. He stood up and walked the pendant and cord over to his own desk sitting it down. "There's no fixing that thing."

"It's probably because you wear it so much," Sousuke teased, standing up to look at the frayed leather. "It's just a regular old cord isn't it? You could always replace it."

"Yeah, I think I'll go looking for a replacement tomorrow actually, since we have time. You feel like going with?" Rin asked, looking up at him. Sousuke looked up and to the side, as if to think about it.

"Yeah, why not. Beats just sitting here and packing," he conceded, though by the way Rin smiled at him he knew that he had been found out. Even if they did have things to do, he'd still go if Rin wanted him to.

"Then it's a date," Rin joked, smile morphing into a teasing smirk before turning to his mess on the floor. Sousuke stood there for a second, trying to slow the beat of his heart before he sauntered over to Rin's bed. He watched his best friend meticulously pack away the things he wouldn't be needing right away. A separate bag was prepared at his side, a shirt being stuffed into it every once in a while.

"You're flight is on the last day, right?" Sousuke hummed, knowing the answer. "Not even going to wait before you go, huh?"

"I could have stayed for a little," Rin said with a shrug, eyes focused on the shirt he was folding. "But not much I can do without a pool I can properly train in, and everyone will be busy. The guys understand anyways, we already said our goodbyes. Gou's not too happy about it though."

Sousuke's heart ached at the small smile Rin had when he said that. She wasn't the only one who wished he'd stay, but he wouldn't hold Rin back now, not when things were finally so close for the other. He was just happy to have spent this much time with him. And even still, Rin was wasting his last free day with him.

"Well what do you expect, her precious Onii-chan is leaving her again," he teased. He laughed when Rin scowled, though he did have the decency to feel a little guilty when Rin started rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm just kidding. She's probably more upset that you aren't letting her throw you some big going away party."

"I know," Rin groaned, looking deflated all at once. "The graduation party Haru and them put together was enough. I don't need any more sweets shoved in my face."

The conversation went off on a tangent then, both of them recalling how ridiculous it had been. Nagisa managing to start a cake food fight being the most outrageous part. Sousuke couldn't help but to laugh as Rin complained about how difficult it was trying to wash out all of the cake from his hair. The night went on like that, them reminiscing about things as Rin packed. Things he wouldn't need right away in boxes, things he was taking with him to Australia first thing in his bag.

Sousuke didn't bother to tell Rin that he was taking his heart with him too. It wouldn't fit as a joke and Sousuke wasn't going to ruin what they had for nothing. He did, however, laugh at his own sentimentality when he thought he could see his heart being packed into that bag just as easily as the rest of Rin's things.

~~xx~~

"Somehow I think we stand out," Sousuke hummed as Rin ate another takayoki ball off of the stick in Sousuke's hands. He had his arm draped around Sousuke's shoulders like usual, but they weren't in Samezuka and the few people around them were giving them odd looks. Not that Sousuke particularly cared for what they thought, he just thought it was interesting that other people thought it was odd.

"Hmm?" Rin asked, not hearing Sousuke. Sousuke was about to repeat what he said but Rin let go of him in favor of getting the fresh takayoki the vendor finally finished. He grabbed himself a stick and offered it to Sousuke. "Here, I owe you two."

Sousuke stood stunned for a second before he bit one off the stick. It was hot and he forced it into his cheeks to keep from burning his tongue too badly. He felt a flush overcome him at the stares of a middle aged couple across the way. He shook his head when Rin offered him another and they finished their snacks in silence.

If he had been with anyone else Sousuke would have thought they were on a date with how casual it was for Rin to grab his wrist and pull him down the street. How wonderful it would feel to switch the hold of Rin's hand so that it was intertwined with his, he thought. He left his daydreams behind though, knowing there was no place for them while Rin was talking to him. They talked about random things, checking out the stores and found that meandering together was more comfortable than stopping to look at things they weren't going to bother buy.

They found a jewelry shop a few hours after their arrival, not a very expensive kind. A simple one with rings and necklaces even two high schoolers could afford. Sousuke watched as Rin scanned a few, looking for leather cords and finding a small section in the back corner. He looked through them for the right length before picking up a long one.

"Hey, Sousuke," Rin called over his shoulder and Sousuke stepped closer. Before he understood what was happening Rin was handing him the necklace with one hand and pulling up his hair with the other. "Help me out?"

Sousuke's mind drew a blank for a moment before he put the cord around Rin's neck. It took him a few tries to get the clasp right, fumbling thumbs messing up more because of the nervousness of their owner than the actual difficulty of the clasp. Sousuke finished after his fourth attempt and let it go, watching Rin's bare nape disappear under long tresses once more. He stepped back to let Rin look into the display mirror.

"Yeah, this is about the right size," he said with a grin, tucking his hair behind his ear.

Sousuke felt his breath stop for just a second before he turned away and mused over some fancy earrings. He didn't know why he couldn't calm down lately, nothing unusual about today, he reasoned. A passing thought of if Gou might like a pair of pie earrings ran through him before his name was being called again. When he looked up to see Rin at the cash register, a small bag in hand and a big grin on his face.

They left the small shop and made way for the park, going along for a walk before dinner. Rin was talking about how glad he was that he found a cord long enough. Sousuke wasn't sure why it was such a big deal, there was no way they wouldn't find something that worked.

"What's the deal with that thing, anyways? I know it means a lot to you, or at least you like it," Sousuke started and Rin grinned at him before looking down at the necklace in his hands.

He was just putting the pendant on the new cord now that they were out of the way. When Rin handed Sousuke the necklace he didn't hesitate to help Rin put it on this time, the initial shock over though the stutter of his heart remained. Sousuke prayed the cold wind was a good enough excuse for the warmth he felt on his cheeks when his fingers accidentally brushed the back of Rin's neck.

"It was my first gift from Lori and Russell," Rin explained, turning around. "It wasn't that big of a deal for them, they were just out showing me around and I saw it. I didn't expect them to get me it. I mean it wasn't a lot of money, sure, but it was still, I don't know. Like I didn't need it? I wanted it but I didn't have money on me so I was just going to not get it, but Lori noticed."

"Oh," Sousuke mumbled, watching the way Rin's hand went to hold the pendant hanging off of him. A fond look in his eyes as he gazed at it. "You really like them, don't you?"

"Yeah," Rin answered with a soft chuckle. "They're really nice you know? Really good people. They helped me out a lot while I was over there. You'll have to come visit sometime, they've been dying to meet you."

"Me?" Sousuke questioned, eyes wide with disbelief. Rin laughed at him for a second before throwing his arm around Sousuke, pulling him down a bit. Sousuke couldn't see his face from there, view skewed by Rin's hair as the other let his head fall onto Sousuke's shoulder.

"Of course you. You're my best friend, dummy."

Sousuke's throat sealed up tight at those words, and the guilt hit him like a truck. He was supposed to be Rin's best friend, and here he was, thoughts muddled with unnecessary and unwanted romance. Dreams of something that could destroy their closeness.

"You're my best friend too," Sousuke whispered, voice cracking with the truth of his words. Rin was his everything.

"Yeah?" Rin said picking up his head with a half-smile on his face. He rubbed his eyes as he let go of Sousuke, pushing him away. "You sound like you're going to cry."

"Aren't you the one who's crying?" Sousuke teased, voice gaining back its strength. Rin nudged him with his knee, still turned away for him before taking in a deep breath. He looked up at the sky, and Sousuke followed his gaze, seeing it darken with each passing moment. No color was found above, only the gray of the clouds.

"We should get something to eat," Rin announced. "Let's go get ramen or something."

"We could get tonkatsu," Sousuke suggested, following Rin down the path out of the park. Rin laughed, leaning into Sousuke just the slightest as they walked. He felt the reassuring warmth of Rin through his jacket.

"Fine, let's get tonkatsu."

~~xx~~

"Well," Rin whispered, cold morning air chilling his lips, "this is it I guess."

"Yeah," Sousuke agreed, staring out at the street. There they were, waiting once again for that dreaded vehicle to bare Rin away. Rin didn't want a big sendoff so didn't bother tell anyone when he was planning to go. He only told Sousuke the morning of that he was leaving soon, and wondered if he'd go as far as the bus stop with him.

"What did you think of what I left you?" Rin asked, looking away as Sousuke glanced at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, you still have that favor you won," Rin continued, changing the subject. "Have you thought of anything yet?"

Sousuke froze up for a second, before he let out a deep breath and relaxed. He kept his eyes focused on the sky above as he thought about what he wanted from Rin, the only thing he could ask for.

"Yeah, I have. If you're having any trouble or feeling down while you're over there, don't feel like you can't talk to me about it, okay?"

Rin's head snapped to him so fast Sousuke couldn't help his flinch. Tears started to well up in Rin's eyes and sound of the bus approaching drowned out whatever he mumbled before launching himself at Sousuke. Sousuke caught him in his arms, surprised, but returned the hug with a great squeeze. His own eyes began to sting and his throat became tight with knots as he tried to keep down his emotions.

"Don't cry Rin, I just," Sousuke mumbled into his shoulder, "I just don't want you to deal with it all by yourself again. I'm here for you, you know?"

"I know that. I won't," Rin cried into his jacket. "I won't do that and I won't stop talking to you again, you idiot. So don't think I will, you got that? You don't have to ask for that."

"I know you won't," Sousuke reassured him before letting go, hearing the bus's door hiss as it opened. "You should go."

Rin looked up at him then and Sousuke felt his heart shatter. The tears in Rin's eyes, the way he bit at his lip. He reached forward on instinct but stopped when Rin's hand beat him to it, wiping the wet trails away.

"Yeah."

Sousuke's hanging hand curled up into a fist, waiting. Rin didn't meet his eyes as their knuckles touched. As swift as the wind that blew around them Rin grabbed his bag and got onto the bus, not once looking back.

And just like that Rin was gone.

~~xx~~

Sousuke scrolled threw his playlist for the third time before pulling his headphones out and dropping his iPod onto the bed. It hadn't even been an hour since Rin left and he was already feeling the solitude in their old room to be deafening. He got off of Rin's naked bed and stood up, grabbing his jacket with the intent of going for a run. He was never one for running to clear the mind, but it worked for Rin so he'd give it a try.

He threw on his jacket and heard a strange noise. The sound of soft metal hitting metal. He felt around in his pockets but found nothing, just as he had left it. He moved his jacket again, hearing no noise other than his zipper flapping. Turning around he grabbed the room keys off the desk, some change from his pencil basket, and left. Sousuke turned down the hallway to get a drink first, putting the change in his pocket.

His mind drifted to Rin, wondering how bored the other was waiting. There was still another hour or so until his flight. Rin was always cautious about making flights, having experience missing one do to issues in customs once when he was young. Sousuke smiled as he remembered how the other boy explained how ridiculous flying internationally was.

Rounding the corner to the vending machine his hand searched his pocket for his change. When all he felt was the lining of his pocket he stopped, picking up the jacket and hearing the distinct clink of coin on coin. He felt around and discovered a hole in the corner closest to him. He wiggled his finger into it and felt around for the change but his heart stopped when he felt something softer instead.

Sousuke held his breath as he pulled out Rin's necklace from his jacket lining. He pulled off the fuzzy bits caught around the clasp and wondered why something so important was in his pocket.

"What you left for me?" Sousuke remembered, words leaving him in a whisper.

He turned on his heels and left the dorm building. His thumbs worked his phone furiously, texting Rin to ask him if he was still at the airport. When he got no answer he tried calling, but got nothing. He paused at the gate, wondering what he was planning to do even if he saw Rin.

Sousuke glanced down at his phone's clock and made a decision he was sure to regret later, but regret less than letting Rin go without telling him. He meant something to Rin, he didn't know what, but something, and Sousuke was going to make sure that Rin knew just what he meant to him. If there was ever a time to tell him it would be now, he thought, that way Rin could start fresh and forget about him.

That way Sousuke could let go.

The minutes that passed while Sousuke was on that bus were long, and the weight of what he was going to do grew heavier with each passing moment. He tried to call Rin, holding his phone up to his ears. It went straight to voice mail, just as it had before. He wondered if he was charging his phone for the flight, or if he had already switched it to airplane mode. He prayed that it wasn't because he was already on his flight, that somehow he had gotten the time wrong and Rin was already far out of reach.

Pressing his forehead against the glass Sousuke watched the land pass before them. He clenched his jaw as he steeled himself, closing his eyes and thinking of Rin sitting where he was, being there not long before. What did Rin think when he was off to some place that seemed a world apart from where they were from? Sousuke remembered the confusion of living in Tokyo and thought of how Rin had done so much more by the time Sousuke had even stepped foot in that big city.

Rin was a different breed, he decided, opening his eyes and watching the pale blue sky. No clouds in sight, no chance of delay. Rin would be on the first flight out of Sousuke's life again, but the knot in his stomach made him think about how this could be permanent. Not only was he risking their friendship, he was risking Rin's stability. What if telling him would only crush him?

He wouldn't be able to bear it if Rin's mental fortitude was shaken by his selfishness. Rin was strong, could weather anything, but such a hit when he was already off to that foreign land that broke him once before? Sousuke wasn't sure if he would be able to handle if he was in his situation.

The pain of rubbing his hands together burned, twisting the skin there until it was red and raw. He shuddered once leaning back into his seat and pulling out his phone. Rin deserved to know, he deserved to know and find someone better than him. A better friend, a friend who wouldn't betray Rin's trust like he did.

He had Nanase and the others, he's sure Rin would survive without him.

Resigning himself to mindlessness so that he wouldn't chicken out, Sousuke listened to the radio playing on the bus and longed for his forgotten music. He breathed in deep and out, counting up to ten and back down again. He did it three or four times before he started to feel the ease in his shoulders as they relaxed. Sousuke developed the habit for his shoulder, but it worked well just the same.

When it was down to fifteen minutes until Rin's flight Sousuke was starting to feel anxiety bubbling up in his stomach and reaching his throat. He felt a cold calmness, a fake, skin-deep calmness overcome him, a kind like nothing he felt before. The bus went slower and slower until Sousuke felt that hopping off of it and running would be the best choice, but he sat and waited with one hand in a fist and the other holding Rin's necklace.

Rin would scold him for trying to get off, he thought, he'd say that he would be sure to get lost. That he should just be patient, and so Sousuke tried. He watched the digital clock count down and hoped that watching it would make it go slower than the bus.

When it finally stopped at the airport Sousuke almost ran off the bus, his phone telling him he had not even four minutes before the other would leave. Entering the building he glanced around, looking for the lists of flights and where they would be. He spotted the display and saw all the different flights up in colors with their departure times written next to them.

Rin's was there, up on that board, already taking off.

It was too late.

He walked over to the side, looking at the windows and seeing one plane taking off. A shaky hand reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing up his friend one last time. The beep of the voicemail pricked at Sousuke's mind and he let out an unsteady breath.

"Hey, sorry I didn't catch you before your flight. I, I just wanted to tell you that I," he stuttered. He felt his whole body go numb, his throat tighten. He looked down and pulled out Rin's necklace, staring at and finding his courage. He took in a deep breath.

"You mean everything to me, Rin, I wanted you to know before you went over there again. And, well, man I really didn't want to say this over the phone," Sousuke chuckled nervously. His fingers tangled themselves in Rin's necklace, rubbing against the soft leather cord and the blunt, cold pendant.

"I love you," he breathed. "Don't, well, I hope that doesn't bother you or throw you off. Just ignore all this and knock 'em dead over there, okay? I know you will. I just couldn't go on anymore without telling you, sorry."

"Sousuke?"

Sousuke's brain stopped, his heart leapt into his throat as he turned to that voice. There, not five feet from him, stood the love of his life, bag still around his arm and eyes wide. He couldn't move, though he wanted to scream, yell, anything to stop Rin from grabbing the phone in his pocket. Sousuke saw the exact moment Rin realized what he had done, and didn't even have the capability to move let alone prevent Rin from putting it up to his ear.

Courage fled him quicker than the blood from his face as he watched Rin's confused frown morph to tearful resentment. Sousuke's eyes didn't even have the decency to tear up in their shock, his body frozen. He dropped his phone when Rin ran into him, a punch to his chest surprising him only because of its gentle force. Rin was crying, Sousuke made him cry, it was his fault.

"Rin, I," he choked, "what are you doing here? I thought."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner you idiot?" Rin yelled, hiding his face in Sousuke's chest.

"What?"

Rin pulled away then and rubbed furiously ate his eyes, leaving them red and aggravated, and not any dryer than they were before. Tears still came welling up and spilling down his cheeks as he looked at the other. It was only when Rin's mouth opened up in a soft shocked 'o' did Sousuke feel warm water on his own cheeks. He grabbed Sousuke's hand and pulled him to where he had dropped his bag, throwing it over his shoulder and walking him over to the waiting chairs.

They sat in silence for a second before Sousuke turned to him.

"You," he began but Rin stopped him by squeezing his hand.

"I love you too," Rin whispered to the ground. "I didn't get on the plane. I couldn't."

"You didn't get on?" Sousuke asked and Rin shook his head, holding out a plane ticket in his hand.

"When I got here I realized I couldn't leave without telling you, so I rescheduled. I figured a week extra will only make Gou and Mom happy anyways, so," he mumbled looking up at him.

His heart was going to go in cardiac arrest at this rate, he thought and chuckled slightly, putting a hand up to his own eyes. His smile faltered as he thought about what that meant. All of the guilt seemed to rush out of him at once and it was becoming too much.

"You love me," he laughed to himself. He felt Rin's head fall onto his shoulder and he wiped at his eyes, taking in a deep breath and looking over at him.

"Yeah and you love me, though you had to go and say it over a dumb voicemail," Rin complained. Sousuke smiled hearing that there was no animosity in his voice.

"Yeah, sorry. Why was your phone off anyways?" Sousuke asked, suddenly seeing that it was rather odd if Rin was planning on staying for another week Rin groaned and sat up looking at his phone.

"Nagisa wouldn't stop blowing me up so I threw it on airplane mode," he explained. He held his phone to Sousuke, showing him the three-hundred and twenty new text messages. "Though I suppose some of these must be you too, huh?"

"Uh, yeah," Sousuke admitted a sheepish grin. "So, what now?"

They looked at each other and Rin tugged the necklace out of Sousuke's hand, slipping it over Sousuke's head. He looked at it surprised, wondering why Rin hadn't done that the other day when he had put it on. He tried to search Rin's eyes for answers but only found a faraway look and a vague smile.

"Well, that's up to you. Australia is a long ways away, and I still have to go, you know?"

Sousuke's heart dropped into his stomach at that and he glanced at Rin's bag. Just because he was staying an extra week didn't mean he could ignore his plan. He had everything already set up, there was no backing out now.

"If you're okay with it, I am. I'd wait for you forever," Sousuke concluded and Rin grinned at him before laughing. Slender fingers tucked loose hair behind his ear and Sousuke's heart skipped a beat. The way Rin looked then, smiling at him with none of the unseen stress or secrets, was breath taking.

"I love you."

Rin looked surprised for a moment before he leaned forward. When their lips touched Sousuke's eyes closed on instinct, and not even the fact that they were in public seemed to bother him. It was warm, and light, and fleeting as Rin pulled away soon after, considerably brighter than he was before. Red stained his cheeks and his ears, and Sousuke felt that he was likely in a similar state.

"You know, instead of just waiting you could always just come with me."