(A/N: A ship request from somebody. If you'd like me too mention your name just let me know over PM! Anyways, I don't write incestuous stuff really, but the nature of Rey and Kylo's relationship is still unclear. It could go either way, but know that in this story's universe that is not what is going on. J.J. And Disney are smart. After the original trilogy they probably wouldn't let any sexual tension form between two related characters.

So that's what I'm going with, and why I agreed to take this request! Enjoy, and please review!)

Kylo Ren paced and stared at his saber. It was such a small and unassuming thing unactivated. Yet, it and another like it seemed to hold his life and dreams within them. Maybe even his destiny. How could this be? He wrestled with the idea that he could not be the captain of his fate on some days. That there were greater things out there, pulling him this way and that. He struggled against both the dark and light side of the force for that very reason. Where was his agency?

There was only one answer: he had given it up long ago. His father had been right. He knew Snoke would dispose of him one way or another. He was too young, too temperamental, and too much of a threat. He was a wild animal, and there would be no place for him when the First Circle took hold of the galaxy and created a new civilization. Still, he could not pull away. Something pulled him back. On most days he credited this to his strength and loyalty to the First Order. On other days he had to fight the thought that this was some kind of weakness, dragging him back to Snoke. But not just any weakness, a specific kind. It was acceptable to be physically weak, that was something he could push past, but this was a weakness of the spirit and Kylo Ren did not want to admit that he had been broken.

He did not feel like Kylo Ren today. He felt like Ben. Young, quiet, bored Ben Solo.

But it should have been impossible to be bored now. He was in the middle of working with their newest recruit, and she was merciless.

Kylo paced around her hands gripping the lightsaber, waiting for her to strike. He needed her to make the charge. She was slow in combat. Her feet moved clumsily beneath her as she parried and it drained her movements of the strength they should have had. He needed to show her her own weaknesses since she would not listen to him.

Rey stood there, sweating and shaking. Her eyes were narrowed, but her hands hung loosely at her side. "I'm not going to fight you." He knew it was true. He could hear it in her thoughts as well. She dropped the plasma-magnet to the ground. A piece fell off, but that was acceptable. It was simply a practice tool, incapable of cutting flesh, but able to block strikes from a light saber. Of course, if she'd ever bothered to try it she probably could have given him a few good bruises. He felt the anger radiate off of her.

She was unaware of the connection, he was sure, but it was there. He should have never reached into her mind in such a weakened and unsteady state. It had allowed her into his own simultaneously and connections like these could last a very long time. Of course, now he was always on guard around her. Only a trained master of the force would be able to penetrate his thoughts, but Rey had no training. Her more adamant feelings might as well have been said out loud. That's why he wanted to teach her. He could not bear going into battle with someone he felt this connection to again. It had almost cost him his life last time. Her fear and pain had also been his, but it had not gone the other way around, and so she'd beaten him back mercilessly.

And all the while he'd felt her thrill, and pride, and panic. He'd almost forgotten that he was losing.

"Suit yourself," he said quietly and calmly. "I'll be returning you to your cell then."

"Fine," her reply wasn't loaded with its usual malice. Instead, it had seemed to match his own serene tone.

Kylo approached her, "Hands behind your back." She did not obey, Kylo felt that she would not. So he would have to use the force on her, but only after concentrating on severing their connection. To use the force on her while their minds were connected would hurt himself as well. He had thought of that the other day, thankfully, before actually embarrassing himself in front of her. He concentrated on disassociating from her, flicked his hand, and bound her wrists. And just like that, with his concentration gone, so was their mental barrier. He felt her disdain white hot in his mind.

After locking her in her small cell for the night Kylo walked to his room. Typically, he would head to the commander's dining room, but he was unable to find his appetite. Rey had been fasting for days, and the sensation had been nauseating. Tonight she'd have a force feeding, courtesy of himself. Anybody else and she would simply command them stop. He sighed and removed his glove before placing his palm to the key pad of his room.

She was a pain, yes, but he was the one that had asked to train her. Snoke, thankfully, had listened to reason. If Kylo could convert her in a reasonable amount of time then they could keep her on as his second. What harm could there be in having two skilled fighters at his beck and call? And the other knights, surely didn't count. Often they were no better than a group of hired smugglers. But truthfully he was still afraid. If Rey did not see reason then she would be executed, and he would feel everything...but he was most afraid of the nothing that would follow. Rey's presence in his mind, though a nuisance, was also a comfort. He understood someone so completely now that it was impossible to not care for her. It had been so long since that had happened.

Many times during their "lessons" (though she hadn't truly allowed him to begin teaching her) he had told her how he felt. He saw the potential in her, and was the only one capable of nurturing it. Didn't she see that? Couldn't she understand that he wanted her to learn so badly that he was putting his own life at risk? Her apathy and doubt frustrated him. He'd screamed that she should believe him, that she HAD to believe him. Her life was on the line! She would react just as angrily and their "lesson" would end with her in her cell. Just as it had tonight...He was getting nowhere.

If only she felt was he was feeling. He felt everything that passed through her mind. A sort of resonance came from her, and even moving away from her only quieted it marginally. Complete thoughts only filtered through when she felt something strongly and they were standing close. Otherwise, he was merely conscious of her emotions and intentions. This was something he would have to use the force to do with anyone else, but since that day in the holding cell it had been impossible to turn it off, he could only mute it.

But she was untrained. She'd probably never sensed somebody's fear or rage without seeing them. She'd never forced her way into a mind. (Kylo constantly reminded himself that she had been let in by his carelessness.) So she probably never felt anything from him except what he showed her.

Somewhere he could feel her loneliness. It ebbed like an ocean's tide, perhaps she was thinking of her ocean. Her island. A beautiful, green place. Just as lonely as she was now.

Kylo laid down without shedding his cloak and suit. It would be another sleepless night for him then. She ached and so he did too. It was inevitable. He wanted her to find solace in him, her teacher, but she would not. She was too stubborn. She would only hate him and continue to hurt.

The more he thought about it, the more tortuous it became. Would he ever sleep again? He was unsure, and his instability prompted him to stand and put his helmet back on. They were going to talk, dammit. But this time he was going to use a slightly different tactic.

(A/N: I'm publishing without proofreading! I have Christmas gifts to wrap and I just wanted to get this out there! SOOooooOOOOOooorrry ((Sorta.)).)