Wow, it's been a while since I wrote for The Mortal Instruments! Well, I'm back, with some humor for the holidays! Have some Malec, with Alec being an embarrassing dork. I literally wrote this entire thing based around one line because I am weak and pathetic for embarrassing situations like this.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments

Check Me Out

Alec is a worker at the library who has had one too many all-nighters and is weak in the presence of hot men.

"Wow, I think even your bags have bags!" Isabelle laughed, leaning over the counter to poke at her brother's face.

"They don't," Alec scowled, pulling back, "And stop poking me."

"No, really!" Isabelle insisted, leaning further to try and continue poking her brother. "When's the last time you got a full night's sleep?" Then, without waiting for Alec to answer, she shouted, "Hey Jace, c'mere! When's the last time you think Alec actually slept?"

"Izzy, this is a library," He hissed angrily in a quiet tone, ignoring her question. "You can't be shouting in here. You'll disturb the patrons."

"What patrons?" Isabelle scoffed as Jace came up to the desk. "This place is practically a ghost town!"

Which wasn't quite true; there was a family with three kids downstairs in the children's section, and upstairs there were two people in non-fiction. Actually, Jace's girlfriend and her friend weren't with him, so they were either still upstairs as well, or on their way down.

"Yikes, what happened to you?" Jace laughed, leaning on the desk next to Isabelle.

"Nothing," He responded quickly, shooting a dark look at his sister.

"So Jace," Isabelle drawled, tapping her manicured nails on the check-out counter. "When do you think the last time brother dearest here slept was?"

"It doesn't matter," Alec attempted to protest futilely, but his siblings just spoke over him.

"Oh, I don't know," Jace hummed, shrugging. "A week? Week and a half? He looks like he has caffeine jitters."

"I do not," Alec said sourly, covering a yawn with his hand.

"Right you are!" Isabelle agreed cordially, talking over Alec. "So, the jury's out and they have decided that you, Alexander Lightwood, need to stop working so much, stop drinking coffee," She leaned over, taking his travel mug as she spoke despite Alec's protests, "and go to bed!"

"All right, all right, break it up," Clary intervened just a moment too late, appearing with Simon, pushing herself between Isabelle and Jace, dropping her books on the counter. "Do I need to separate you three?"

"I think you already did," Simon commented idly, studying Alec from over the redhead's shoulder. "Sheesh Alec, I hate to break it to you but you missed Halloween by, like, a month."

"Very funny," Alec's voice was flat as he picked up the library card Clary slid to him over the books she had set on the counter. "How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

"Someone's moody," Clary observed while Alec scanned her card and books with practiced ease.

"Not moody," Jace laughed. "More like cranky. He's been living off strict caffeine diet for the past few days."

"That sucks," Clary put the books in her bag. "How long?"

"Only three days," Alec cut in before his siblings could answer for him. "And those are due in three weeks – the slip's in the one on Monet."

"Looks like three days too long if you ask me," Simon needlessly put in his two cents, dropping his books on the counter. "Really, when do you ever get a full night's sleep?"

"When do you have a sense of humor?" Alec wasn't amused. "And I didn't ask you. Where's your library card?"

"Ah, seems like I still can't find it." Simon laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "It's starting to look like Yossarian ate it after all. Can't you just look it up for me?"

"I could," Alec agreed, hands in front of the computer keyboard like he was going to comply, "But I'm not."

"What? Why not!" Simon protested as Alec moved the books Simon had gotten to the re-shelving cart behind him. "C'mon Alec, it's just this time!"

"That's what you said the last four times," Alec wasn't having it. "I'm not doing it again. Either come when someone else is on duty that you can con into doing it, find your library card, or buy a new one."

"Harsh," Jace shook his head, full of mirth, "But, that's what you get ratboy, especially considering how cranky Alec is."

"I'm not cranky," Alec snapped at the same time Simon said,

"Stop calling me ratboy!"

"Okay, that's enough," Clary stepped in again. "Save the bickering for later. I don't know about you, but I want to get my art history report done. You can either come with me, or be kicked out by Alec."

"Well," Jace smirked. "When you've given such stellar options, how can I refuse?"

"Oh, just move it," Clary rolled her eyes, grabbing her boyfriend's arm and dragging him slowly and ineffectually towards the library exit.

"Get some sleep when you get off work, 'kay?" Isabelle told her brother, before dragging Simon off as well, with more success than Clary with Jace.

"You say that like it's easy," Alec mumbled under his breath, watching as his sister disappeared out the door with their friends, the only sound left in her wake being the clicking of her heels. It was only after they had disappeared that Alec realized Isabelle had kidnapped his coffee when the group left.

"Well, they seem like a lively bunch, don't they?" Alec hadn't been paying attention – and later would deny any accusations of him falling asleep at work – and nearly leapt out of his seat when a new patron stepped up to the circulation desk.

"Uh, yeah, they are," Alec stumbled to respond, looking at the patron. He had the most captivating green eyes Alec had ever seen, which were emphasized by the gold eyeshadow he was wearing. Alec felt his mouth go dry and a flush burn his cheeks. "Did you, um, find everything all right?"

"For the most part," He shrugged, setting the book down on the counter, his library card on top. Alec scanned it, the patron's name popping up.

Magnus Bane.

"You have a lot of mythology books," Alec commented, trying to make conversation and feeling awkward the entire time. "Does that interest you?" God, that was so lame. He was so lame. Magnus wouldn't want to talk to him, let alone give him his name or ask for his.

"You could say that," Magnus replied lightly. "What about you?"

"S-Some of them," Alec answered, scanning Magnus' books. "I really like the Greek myths. The story of Persephone especially – it reads differently when you read it in the original Greek, did you know that?" Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. Isabelle was always berating him for freaking people out with that sort of thing – normal people didn't know Greek unless they were Greek, which Alec wasn't. He was completely messing this up.

"I didn't," Magnus was smiling though, so maybe Alec hadn't messed up completely. "I'm writing a book based off of Celtic mythology," which explained all the books on Celtic mythology. Alec felt so stupid, he should have brought one of those up instead. But then again, wouldn't he have looked weirder, knowing so much about different mythologies? "But, as I think about it, just basing it off of one country's mythology may make it a little boring – what do you think?"

He was asking Alec's opinion?

"Ah, I think it's up to you?" Alec stumbled. "I mean, really, it depends on how you intend to use them, and whether you're going to use them in their original contexts, or if you're going to fuse them, and –" and he should probably shut up, because he was ranting, "– and, I mean, it's your story, so it really depends on what you have planned."

"All true," And he was still smiling, nodding, like Alec had been helpful, and wow Alec's heart was fluttering super-fast. But it was just the caffeine. Obviously. His blood was probably ninety percent caffeine at the moment, so it had to be the caffeine. Not because of Magnus. Of course not. "–Do you have one?"

"Sorry, one what?" Alec asked embarrassedly – during his internal freak out, he had to have missed whatever Magnus had said.

"A book on Greek mythology," Magnus repeated patiently, though Alec was certain he had to be annoyed. Even if he didn't look annoyed in the slightest. Everyone got annoyed when Alec had to have them repeat something. Everyone. That included Magnus. Even though Magnus didn't look annoyed. He had to be annoyed. "Specifically with the story of Persephone in it, if you have one."

"Ah, yes, we do," He answered quickly, grateful for a reason to turn away from Magnus, just so the other man wouldn't see the dark flush spreading across his face. "You're in luck, it was just returned today, and it hasn't been re-shelved yet."

"Lovely," Magnus said. "I don't suppose it's in the original Greek, is it?"

"No," Alec shook his head as he brought the book to the counter, trying his hardest to force the blush staining his cheeks down. "That's a personal book. The English isn't too bad though, if you wanna check me out."

As soon as he set the book down on the counter that Alec realized he misspoke.

"I-I mean check it out! If you want to check it out," He corrected himself, telling himself he was only imagining the way Magnus' eyes were sweeping over him as he averted his eyes to look anywhere but Magnus. His face had to be bright red, and he could swear he could feel the tips of his ears burning in embarrassment.

"All right," Magnus agreed, before tilting his head down toward the book when Alec didn't move, surprised as he was. "I'll check out the book." Of course, Alec was a bumbling idiot, it was only reasonable that Magnus wouldn't be interested in him. Actually, the only sensible explanation for this whole exchange had to be that he was hallucinating. Yeah, that had to be it. Alec was so exhausted he was hallucinating hot men who actually had some semblance of an interest in him.

"Of course," Magnus continued after Alec had scanned the book on Greek mythology, his tone light. He braced himself for rejection as he tore off the slip and set it on top of Magnus' books. "I would love to check you out too, with your permission."

Alec's brain shut down.

"Wh-what?" He wasn't sure he heard correctly.

"My cell number's with my library card information," Magnus waved his hand towards the computer as he packed up his books. "I'd love to borrow your Greek mythology book and talk with you about it – call me sometime!"

And with a tinkling wave goodbye to Alec, Magnus gave him a wink, and disappeared through the front entrance.

Alec stared after him a moment, dumbfounded, before he was scrabbling for his cellphone.

"Izzy? Izzy, I need you to get back here – I think I'm hallucinating. I need you to get back here and tell me if I was or not. Stop laughing Izzy, this is important!"

And, Alec discovered, when Isabelle finally deigned to return to the library, Jace in tow, not only had he most certainly not been hallucinating, he also had a date.

(Though, he almost wished it had all been a hallucination, just so he didn't have to deal with his siblings' teasing.)

Ah, poor Alec. And I'm not sure if it's quite true that the story of Persephone reads that differently between English and Greek, but my experience with Spanish and English translations is that there's always some sort of discrepancy, normally because the translator takes some sort of liberty when translating.

Like always, please read and review~!