Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait, this month has been kinda hectic for me bc I'm starting uni in a couple weeks, and so I had a lot to sort out. Thank you for the concerns, you guys are so sweet and I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy, especially if you're returning to school/work!

I've re written bits and pieces of this chapter so many times, but it's finally done. Fair warning, it's another long one (17k words - they just keep getting longer and longer lol) and this one is a complete rollercoaster so please don't hate me too much!

Stella's P.O.V.

My eyes were steady on the horizon, watching as the fiery red clouds melted away, surrendering to the darkness. A content sight left my lips, "Hm.. you know what this reminds me of?"

"What?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

We were currently driving to the beach, and it was an hour's journey. Of course, Brandon insisted on driving again and I didn't fight him on it because it meant I could just sit back, put my feet on the dash and jam out to music in peace.

"The road trip back from San Fran, when we had to carpool with Muse and Riv.." I smiled, the pleasant feeling of nostalgia washing over me at the memory.

"I still can't believe you actually busted my tires" he said, "How did I not kill you back then? I let you get off way too easy for wrecking my baby like that"

"Tires are replaceable!" I reminded. "Anyways, you deserved it for drowning my baby, Stella Junior"

"Yeah, well at least you didn't have to tow Stella Junior halfway across the state" he complained.

"True.. but you gotta admit, it was more fun with the four of us altogether" I said.

"Fun? We argued the entire way" he said, "Remember when we almost got into a crash because you were mad at me for changing the music, and then you grabbed the wheel and tried to swerve us off the highway? Real fun.."

I let out an incredulous gasp, "I did not! You're exaggerating!"

"Tell that to the tire marks you left on the highway" he chuckled.

"Well- you switched off Beyoncé! So you brought that one upon yourself, technically" I argued. "By the way, are we gonna stop anytime soon? Because I'm getting hungry"

"We're like 20 minutes away, just hold on till we get there" he said.

"But I'm starving" I pouted "We didn't bring any snacks.. why didn't we bring snacks?!"

Brandon sighed, rolling his eyes as he shoved a hand in his pocket, searching for a second before pulling out a packet of gum. "Will this shut you up?"

"Depends.. what flavour is it?"

"I don't know.. peppermint I think" he answered, handing it to me.

"Well it's better than nothing" I shrugged, unwrapping it and tossing a piece into my mouth.

Once we arrived, we unpacked a little bit and got settled in. I was scouring the kitchen in search for food, but considering I haven't stayed at this place for a couple years, there wasn't anything here.

Well, anything consumable.. granted, it's been a while and most of the food here would've been thrown out by now.

"Okay, so we have.. salted crackers, a can of beans" I listed, shuffling through the empty cupboard, "and... more salted crackers?"

"On second thought, we should order in and go grocery shopping at some point today" Brandon suggested.

"Yeah, probably" I agreed, closing the cabinet doors before hopping off the counter, and joining him on the barstools.

No one's P.O.V.

The early rays of the sun poured through the glass panes, tinting the house a light orange. It was barely dawn, but that didn't stop Brandon from banging on Stella's door, emitting a very annoyed series of groans from the snoozing blonde.

Starting to get agitated, she got up and marched right to the door, tumbling over in the process due to the sheets tangled around her body that she unknowingly dragged along.

"Ugh.. what. do. you. want?" she growled irritably, getting up as she pulled the door open. "What was so important you had to wake me up at- god knows what time it is"

"I'm going surfing, you wanna join?" he asked, an innocent smile tugging at his lips.

This is what his nonstop knocking on her door was for? Surfing.

"You can't be serious?" she scoffed, not even bothering to close the door in his face as she swiftly turned on her heel, heading straight back to bed.

"Dead serious.. so I take it that's a no?" he asked.

She looked over at the clock, before stuffing her face back in the pillow. "It's 5am.. why the hell are you going anyway?"

"Are you kidding me? It's the best time to surf! The waves are calm, there's good light and it's not too crowded. Plus..." he began, walking over to the blinds as he ripped them open, "The view is just killer at this time of day"

"No, no, no! You jerk, close them!" she demanded, sunlight burning at her eyes as she buried herself further in the sheets like a hibernating animal. "Huh, killer.. yeah, you got that part right. I think you permanently blinded me, jackass"

"Apparently Sunshine isn't a morning person.. ah, the irony" he chuckled, closing the blinds. "Okay, well I just wanted to tell you before you woke up so you don't think I'm missing"

"Whatever.. go ride the waves.. I'll be here sleeping like any sane person would at this time" she mumbled.

He smiled, shaking his head in adoration at the grumpy girl submerged in the sheets, muttering incoherent nonsense about how annoying he was.

"If you need me I'll be out on the beach" he said. He glanced back at Stella, who had somehow already managed to fall back to sleep, before leaving her room.

After a couple hours, Stella awoke from a much needed slumber, feeling considerably more refreshed than last time - and less grouchy, of course. She walked into the bathroom, taking her time to shower before changing into a bathing suit. Ditching the idea of a coverup due to the particularly warm weather that day, she grabbed a couple things before heading out to a secluded section of the beach. There wasn't much commotion anyway, only a handful of people scattered around, considering it was still early in the morning.

She pushed her shades up over her forehead, settling them in her hair so she could read the latest issue of Vogue she'd brought along. Laying down on the soft towel, she flicked through the pages, completely immersed in her own little world. She was completely oblivious to the certain pair of eyes that had caught her, continuing to read without so much as a single glance at the ocean.

Brandon's gaze was transfixed on the blonde sprawled out in the sand in the near distance, instantly disrupting his focus as she began to consume his thoughts.

Had she really not noticed him, literally one of the only people even in the water right now, or was she purposely ignoring him? Maybe she was pretending not to see him, like payback for earlier. Or maybe she was just genuinely unaware of him gawking at her?

On second thought, that sounded more like her - he thought. After all Stella was... well, Stella.

Regardless, he could not, for the life of him, tear his stare off of her.

There she was.. elbows propped up on a beach towel, sun-kissed skin glistening under the scorching rays. The mouth watering curves of her body were fully visible in the mint green bikini she wore, which only accentuated her irresistible figure. Her long, silky blonde hair cascaded down in messy waves draped over her shoulders, and her stance gave him a pretty good view of the sun rays bouncing off her chest, creating shadows around the delicate contours of her collar bones.

His throat went dry at sight of her, suddenly wondering how the hell he was ever able to disregard how captivating she was.

And in that split second, he was abruptly thrown off balance as a nearby wave crashed into him and swiftly knocked him clean off the board, tossing him into the ocean. The chilling water that engulfed him had sufficed as a cold shower, giving him a rather surprising reality check as he coughed the salty water out of his lungs.

The violent collision of waves caused Stella to raise a brow, peering up in curiosity. Brandon internally groaned as he dragged himself out of the water. Just his luck that she doesn't notice him the entire time when he was surfing with ease, but of course the second he slips up she happens to catch a glimpse.

Stella gasped in realisation when she noticed the familiar brunette emerging from the water, completely drenched, and she erupted into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. She was laughing so hard she didn't realise he had even gotten out the water until he was standing over her.

Her breath momentarily hitched as her eyes travelled up his body, which seemed all the more appealing when it was soaked. But as soon as her eyes were met with the priceless scowl that consumed his features, she clutched her stomach in even more hysterical laughter.

"Isn't surfing supposed to be above the water?" she teased, sitting up as she put her magazine aside.

"You done?" he asked, narrowing his eyes before grabbing a nearby towel to dry off his hair. "The tide was really.. you know, violent"

"Oh yeah no, I'm sure your alleged 'impeccable skills' have nothing to do with it" she nodded, stifling a laugh.

"It's harder than it looks, smartass. In fact, I think you should give it a try" he challenged.

"I bet I'd be great" she shrugged confidently.

"Okay, then lets test that theory" he said, holding out his hand.

"Wait, you want me to- like.. out there?" she asked, pulling her shades off.

"I'll teach you" he offered. "It'll be fun, come on"

She sighed in defeat, taking his hand and pulling herself up. Following him to the shoreline, she watched as he set the board down on the sand, where the tide was still low. He didn't want her going straight in without knowing how to mount the board first, so was attempting to explain it to her.

"I'm doing exactly what you said, I don't get the problem" she groaned, looking down.

"You need to move a little more to the front, so your balance isn't off" he said.

She shuffled a little further down, glancing down at the board and then back at him. "Like this?"

He looked her up and down, realising she wasn't gonna get this anytime soon if he didn't help her. He took a step closer, hesitantly reaching his hands out until they rested on her waist.

The feeling of her bare skin under his fingertips made his breath hitch, and he swallowed hard as he tugged her a little closer, adjusting her position. Stella was mindlessly following his instructions, so focused on getting it right she barely noticed the fact that he was a flustered mess.

"And um.. your- your uh.. legs need to be further apart" he whispered, sucking in a breath as he let his fingers ghost down to the sides of her thighs to correct her angle. His touch was so light it was barely there, as he was apprehensive of getting too close or making her feel uncomfortable. Especially considering the fact that she was wearing a bathing suit - he already felt like he was overstepping just by looking her, so actually touching her made his nerves flare up with an intensity like he'd never felt before. But now she was right in front of him and there was no way he could avert his gaze from her, or even try to look away.

At this point, Stella had started to catch onto his nervousness, wondering whether she was cause of it. As her thoughts started to wonder, she suddenly became very aware of the sensation of his hands trailing her hips. She couldn't deny it felt good - she always yearned for his touch in some form, usually innocent, but this.. this was different. This type of touch she craved from him was thrilling, making her stomach flutter and her pulse quicken. Intentional or not, it certainly felt like a tease, like he was torturing her with these fleeting moments that made her heart race.

"..Brandon?" she mumbled, his name being the only thing she managed to breathe out. His eyes darted back to hers with a desperate hope that she'd say something, anything, that indicated she was returning what he felt.

"Um.. thanks, I think I got it now" she nodded, prompting him to take a step back.

He started to ramble on about all the rules and cautionary measures of surfing, in attempt to get over the undeniable sense of awkwardness them. She just hummed along, the both of ignoring that anything even happened.. which by now, they were experts at. After a couple minutes, they were back to their usual banter and he had been getting her to practice how to step up onto her feet from a paddling position.

"You know, it's usually a piece of cake for people who can do push ups" he commented.

"I can do push ups!" she defended, thrusting her arms up in one quick motion, and tucking her feet under her chest before springing up with a satisfied smirk on her face. "Just because I don't do them for enjoyment like you do, doesn't mean I can't do them"

"Okay.. impressive. But can you do that on water without slipping off?" he asked.

"Let's see, shall we?" she said, picking up the board confidently as she looked out to the ocean. She walked far out enough to which the water level reached her waist, and then hopped onto the board and paddled further down, waiting for the right moment to catch a wave. Slowly but surely, she was able to get up and maintain her balance, gliding on the calm waves with ease. Practically acing it on her first try, she left Brandon speechless at the shore, watching in her utter bewilderment. For a beginner, she was beyond impressive, but somehow it didn't shock him all that much that she was able to learn and adapt so easily.. she had been full of surprises this month. And this one, like the others only made him fall harder for her.

"Look, Brandon! Look at me, I'm doing it! Woo hoo!" she yelled out, beaming in excitement as she accelerated through the clear ocean, ripping through the water as she left a trail of sea foam lacing the blue ripples behind her. She felt the salty breeze kiss her skin, drinking in the exhilarating sensation of soaring through the waves which she could only describe as something close to flying.

She fixed her gaze back to Brandon, who was watching her with a proud grin on his face. "And you said I couldn't-"

Before she could finish, she was unsuspectingly knocked off her feet, much like he was earlier.

"Stel? You good?" he yelled, chuckling to himself before swimming out to where the blonde had taken a rather ungraceful fall.

She emerged from the surface of the water, throwing her hair back as she caught her breath.

"You okay?" Brandon smiled, helping her stay afloat with one hand as he gripped the side of the board with the other, before it drifted away.

"That.. was.. AWESOME!" she giggled, extending an arm over the board to stay up. "That was so cool- well, before I was wiped out, of course"

"It happens. Especially when you lose focus.. which you definitely did since you were so busy boasting" he pointed out.

"Oh, is that what happened to you? You lost focus?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just- I got distracted for a second" he shrugged.

"What distracted you?" she questioned.

He paused for a moment, a cheeky smile tugging at his lips. "I saw a smoking hot girl sunbathing."

"Of course you did, you horndog" she snickered, the possibility of it being her not even crossing her mind as she looked around.

"I'll admit though, you're pretty good.." he said, eliciting a bright grin from her as she met his gaze.

"..For an amateur" he finished.

"Hey!" she frowned, thrashing her arm in the water to violently splash him.

"You don't want start with me, Sunshine" he whispered, leaning closer, "I could easily overpower you, remember?"

"Hmm.. not if I drown you first" she winked, planting her palms on his chest before shoving him down in the water. "Race you to the shore! Loser buys breakfast"

But before she could even lift her legs up to swim, she felt a hand grasp her ankle, pulling her back.

"You know, you always cheat" he said, tackling her from behind as he wrapped his arms around her torso. "It's as if you know I'm gonna win"

"Or maybe you're just not up to my level" she suggested, "and I anticipate that you're gonna pull a stunt like this, using your unfair advantage of physical strength over me, so I just gave myself a head-start. Fair fight, and all"

"Okay..." he whispered, his nose tickling her neck causing her to giggle. "Then how about this?"

He spun her around to face him in one swift motion, loosening his hold on her. "Underwater staring contest? Food is on whoever comes up first"

"I like where your head is at, Shields" she said with a playful smile, shuffling back slightly. "3..2..1!"

The both of them plunged underwater with a splash, embraced by a blanket of bubbles as they escaped the restrictive drag of gravity.

Stella's eyes remained glued to his with a glint of ambitious determination, which he couldn't help but smile at. She tightly pursed her lips together, trying her best not to burst out into laughter at how utterly childish the two were, unable to make a simple agreement without making a competition out of it. But that was something she treasured about him - his ability to make her laugh, make her feel so weightless and carefree in a world where she constantly felt like she was drowning. Even now, submerged in the saltwater that quite literally constricted her from inhaling, she didn't feel like she was drowning at all. Ironically, she felt more alive now than when she was breathing in the air above the surface.. it was an indescribable, liberating feeling of euphoria she almost always felt in his presence.

The two were enveloped in a sense of youthful exuberance, biting back the wild grins that threatened to take over their faces as they locked eyes. The stagnant water fulfilled them with a nostalgic sense of stillness in which it just the two of them in the boundless, vast ocean, the overwhelming sounds of the world muted away to nothing but distant muffled noise.

Her eyes suddenly darted to the puka shell necklace around his neck, which was loosely drifting upwards and he didn't even seem to realise it. Impulsively, she extended a hand out towards him, brushing her fingers over his jaw where it was sliding up. She hooked a finger under it, tugging it back over his face and catching it just in time before it could float away.

Upon grasping it, she drew him closer which caught him off guard and led a breath to escape his throat in a moment of weakness. He sprung up over the surface, filling his lungs with the air that greeted him. Soon followed by Stella, who emerged from the water with not so much as a pant, a look of victory painting her face.

"Not fair, you tried to strangle me!" he groaned, catching his breath.

"Strangle you?" she chuckled, "I was saving that necklace from becoming a poor little turtle's last meal"

She absentmindedly reached a hand towards it out of curiosity, getting a better view of it in the sun as she twirled the little white shells in her fingers. "It's really pretty by the way, where'd you get it? I want one" she muttered distractedly, commending him on his choice of accessory as she continued to inspect it.

He shot her a glare, "Real cute, Sunshine. Let's go" he said, lightly splashing her in a joking manner, before grabbing the board beside them.

Stella's P.O.V.

The last week had been nothing short of perfection. We spent every day on the beach, soaking up the sun rays and swimming, we played volleyball with some strangers, we even went wind surfing.

Although, we realised neither of us are very good at it, so we preferred to stay on dry land for the most part.

It's just been non-stop fun, and it certainly took my mind off things - I mean, I hadn't had a single nightmare or even a bad thought. We still had about three days until we had to head back, and we were definitely making the most of it.

"What the- STELLA!? WHAT IS THIS?!"

The abrupt yell beside me interrupted my reading, making me jolt up in surprise and fall right off the lounge chair onto the soft sand. But as soon as I caught a glimpse of the sight next to me, I burst out into laughter.

"I can't believe you fucking buried me?! You infuriating little-"

I tried to contain my laughter as he uttered out a string of curse words, peering at the majorly irritated head poking above the sand.

Yup.. I did indeed bury Brandon in the sand. Well, I didn't mean to at first, it's much too strenuous a task for someone like me. I was minding my own business, just reading a book and then I noticed he had dozed off - quite adorably, must I add, and I knelt down next to him just to take in the sight and snap a pic, before a devious little idea popped into my head and I started to cover his arms in sand, just to see how it would look.

Then before I knew it, this random little kid equipped with a mini shovel was helping me pour sand over him, so I did in fact have some help. He couldn't have been more than 4, and he just approached us and started digging because he said he was making 'human sandcastles' - and he was just too cute, who would I be to crush his dreams? Anyway, after a while of team work, we managed to bury a very much unconscious Brandon at least a foot deep in a blanket of warm sand.

Which was now beginning to crumble, as he twisted his way out, his vengeful gaze landing on me which made my eyes go wide in realisation.

"Oh, you better believe I'm gonna get for you that!" he fumed, before literally pouncing at me and pinning me to the ground before I could even blink.

After rolling around, causing a dust storm and almost knocking over the umbrella shadowing over us, he managed to cage me in under him, propping his forearms at my sides as his eyes grew dark with mischief.

"You're really gonna regret that, Sunshine" he whispered.

"What are you gonna do, throw me in the ocean?" I dared, scoffing incredulously under him. However, I was instantly struck with regret as I saw a devious smile make it's way onto his lips.

"Good idea, thanks" he said, ignoring my desperate pleas of innocence as he hopped up off of me, and pulled me up with him.

Shit, why do I always set myself up like this?!

"Wait no no no, I didn't mean- it wasn't me! It was some kid, I had nothing to do with-" I rambled, suddenly cut off, shrieking in surprise as I was somehow suspended into the air. It took me a second to realise Brandon had literally tossed me over his shoulder like it was nothing, heading straight for the water which was definitely gonna ruin this new swimsuit cover up that I've been going above and beyond to keep dry.

"Oh my god LET ME DOWN, NOW!" I demanded, furiously wailing my fists on his bare back.

Well.. at least the view from here isn't too bad. Those drool-worthy back muscles are seriously a sight to be savoured..

"Dammit, Brandon - I swear to god if you drop me, or if I get a single drop of water on me, I'll-"

"Sorry, can't hear you back there!" he yelled, right before hurling me into the freezing cold ocean.

I jerked up, still sitting on the gritty sand since we weren't that far out, and I tried to get up before I was knocked back down on my ass by a massive wave. In fact, the both of us were since Brandon was so busy laughing at me and didn't see it coming, so now we were coughing water out of our lungs, not even attempting to stand up.

"Great, now my brand new knit coverup - which used to be white, by the way, is all muddy and stained and gross!" I groaned, clutching a handful of wet sand in my hand before throwing it at him.

"Your fault for wearing white" he chuckled, "And why would you wear that here if you didn't want it to get wet?"

"It's purely for aesthetic purposes, it's not built for durability!" I retorted.

Honestly, I didn't even on planning on swimming today! The things I do for fashion..

"Hey, what did you mean before by 'some kid'?" he asked.

"Oh, this sweet little boy came up to me and wanted to help bury you, he had a shovel and everything" I giggled, "Would you really expect me to deny an adorable request like that?"

"Even worse, you turned to child labour and enlisted a helpless infant to do your dirty work.." he tutted, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Whatever, can we get out of the water already? I'm cold" I pouted, failing miserably to get up without being knocked back down.

The waves were getting more and more fierce because of the weather - weirdly enough it had been gloomy all day despite the constant warm weather the last couple days. If I didn't know better I'd say a storm is due, but that's super unlikely.

"Yeah, we should probably get back.. it's getting late" he agreed, shortly before extending in my direction and helping me up.

After getting back to the beach house and drying off, we decided to wait till dark before going back out and starting a mini bonfire close by. We were sitting on a beach towel to keep as much sand out of our clothes as possible since it had taken ages for us to get it out in the first place, and were roasting marshmallows to make s'mores. It was a tradition Luke and I used to have when we came here every summer, granted we were still kids and had no idea how to light a proper fire so it was a makeshift couple of sticks but it was still fun.

"You know, the last time I did this, I think it was right before my sophomore year" I recalled, poking the stick through my marshmallow before holding it out. "I was like 15, and I was absolutely terrified about going back to school because I didn't have anything to wear which was an absolute catastrophe, obviously-"

"Obviously" he nodded along, matching my sarcastic tone.

"-and then, mid convo as I'm having a meltdown to Luke over my wardrobe issues, he asks me for a rain check and tells me he has an emergency to tend to. So here I am thinking someone's hurt or something urgent, and I tell him to go and that we could catch up later since I wanted to stay for a little while longer. And then after like 20 minutes I got bored and decided to head back to the beach house, and when I opened the door I was met with the most horrifying sight ever"

"What? What did you see?" Brandon questioned.

"My brother and a random chick on top of him with her tongue halfway down her throat is what I saw!" I exclaimed, squirming uncomfortably at the memory. "I didn't see much because I was too busy running away screaming, but still it was repulsing and I was traumatised!"

"Okay, that is hilarious" he chuckled.

"No its not!" I whined. "Not only did he ditch me for some girl, but he was about to do said girl on the counter!"

"Wait, on the counter?" he repeated in disbelief.

"On the counter!" I nodded. "Thank god I got there when I did, ten more minutes and I would've been scarred for life, had they reached 4th base"

"Well if it's any comfort, it's just as embarrassing to be on the other end - if not more" he assured.

"As if.." I scoffed.

"Trust me, I've been there. It's mortifying" he said.

My brow perked up in curiosity, "Well, now you have to tell me!"

"..Liam caught Mitzi and I making out once - it was totally innocent but still, he ignored me for 2 weeks"

At the mention of her name, I felt my stomach churn. It was an odd sensation I'd get whenever he'd talk about her - which was rarely. It was like this subtle feeling of frustration because I hated seeing him in pain and I hated her for being the source of it, and putting him through all that. But there wasn't a trace of anguish on his face, so maybe he had gotten over it, or it was just a funny story he didn't care much about.

Regardless, I still felt this irritation towards her that I could only identify as... envy. Because she had him - she had everything, and threw it all away, completely breaking him in the process. I knew for a fact that if I ever got to have him in the way she did, I wouldn't dream of messing it up.

"Wait, he iced you out?" I asked, snapping myself out of my daze. "But he didn't even live with you back then, so how'd-"

"How'd he walk in on us?" he finished, "Before you judge me, remember I was 16 and stupid back then. So, we ditched school and we were looking for a place to be alone but I couldn't go home, since my parents were there, and then I remembered Liam's parents were out of town that week and I had a key to his house-"

"You didn't.."

"..And I may or may not have utilised his room" he continued.

"His room?!" I gasped, "God, poor Liam - if I was him I'd ignore you for 2 years after that!"

"I'm terrible, I know. But he had an empty house, okay?" he shrugged, throwing his arms up in defence. "Plus, I wasn't thinking with my brain if you know what I mean.."

"Of course not, Brandon, you can't think with something you don't have in the first place" I joked, earning a playful nudge.

"Okay, there is no way you're fitting that into your mouth" Brandon commented, gesturing to the giant stacked smore I had just assembled. It was like half the size of my face, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to stop me.

My jaw flung open in offence, pausing mid bite to pull back, "Oh you wanna bet? You'd be surprised what I can fit in here"

"..I think I can imagine, Sunshine" he teased suggestively, making my eyes go wide at the realisation of how dirty that sounded.

"I didn't mean- ew, just.. no" I groaned, slapping him on the shoulder. "And get that stupid smug look off your face"

"Sorry, sorry, I'll stop" he chuckled, "But seriously, I dare you to try and eat that without spilling it everywhere"

"You're so on" I scoffed, narrowing my eyes at him shortly before scarfing it down in one go.

Yup, the whole thing.

"Jesus Stel I meant one bite, not the entire thing!" he clarified.

Oops... well, too late now.

"Whatever.." I mumbled, my words barely comprehensible since I was still chewing. "I did it!"

Brushing my hands off, I swallowed the final bite before looking back at Brandon with a proud smile, "Told ya.. not a single crumb to be seen. Impressive, I know"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" he whispered, face breaking out in a grin, "You have um- you have marshmallow all over your chin"

Before I could reach up to get it, I felt his fingertips graze my chin and I glanced up to notice he had suddenly gotten much closer. His thumb stopped at the corner of my mouth, and his eyes met mine, before he continued to trace the curve of my lip agonisingly slowly. Although, it didn't feel like he was doing it to wipe off the mess that had somehow accumulated across the bottom half of my face anymore. In fact, I had no idea why he was he doing it.

Unable to say anything or even move, I just sat there silently, getting lost in those beautiful, deeps pools of cocoa. With the flames flickering beside us, his face was illuminated by a warm sienna glow and I could see the tiny, delicate flecks of gold in his irises, barely noticeable to the naked eye.

And then my eyes dropped down, transfixing on his lips.. god, those lips.

They seemed so kissable right now - and they were merely inches away.

Maybe.. just maybe, he wanted the same thing I did?

His hand settled near my jaw, fingertips caressing my cheek as our breaths mingled. It seemed like he was leaning in closer, and I found myself doing the same until there was barely any space left between us.

This is it - it has to be. There's no going back and everything could change in a matter of seconds.. but miraculously, I wasn't scared.

"Sunshine... " he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

The sound of that sweet nickname I had come to adore made my heart race faster, pounding against my ribs so violently I was sure he could probably hear it. I drew in a shaky breath and inched closer with a newfound confidence until our noses lightly brushed together, letting my eyelids flutter closed.

All of a sudden, a deafening clap of thunder echoed through the sky, making us jolt back in surprise faster we could blink. And not even a moment later, the fire next to us was vanquished to nothing but dying embers, as I felt cold droplets hammer at my skin. I looked up to see rain pouring down from a cloudy sky, that had been perfectly clear just moments before.

"It's.. it's raining?" I yelled over the loud pattering, trying to hide the frustration and disappointment in my voice.

Are you kidding me? A storm?!

A freaking storm. The weather had been perfect all week, and just when things were getting good a stupid thunderstorm had to come and ruin it. Out of all the ridiculous things I predicted would happen, why did I have to be right about this?

"It looks like it's gonna get bad" Brandon yelled, "We should probably head back before it gets worse"

Agreeing, I quickly grabbed my things before getting up. Although the beach house was barely a minute's walk from where we were sitting, by the time we got in we were completely drenched.

"That was.. unexpected" Brandon said, shutting the door behind him as we kicked off our shoes to prevent tracking mud everywhere.

I silently nodded in response, not knowing if he was referring to the weather, or what was just about to happen between us. I didn't mention it because if anything, that storm was a sign and I for one am not going to challenge the gods of fate.

Or, at least that's how I justified it to myself.

Truthfully, I was much too afraid to say or do anything because I wasn't exactly expecting to be interrupted like that, and even if everything were to go terribly wrong at least I had the boldness to deal with it since I basically was about to initiate it. But now, it was like the moment had passed and I didn't know what to do or how to act.

"I- I'm gonna go take a shower" I stammered, keeping my eyes glued to the puddle of water forming under me as I was too nervous to meet his gaze.

"Yeah, yeah me too" he said, clearing his throat.

Thank god for the separate bathrooms in this place, otherwise it would've been painfully awkward to take turns.

"Actually, um.. I'm kinda tired so I think I'm just gonna head to bed after" I said, fiddling with the hem of my dripping tank top. "I'll see you in the morning"

Flashing a polite smile, I turned around and began walking.

"Stella?"

Dang it. So close.. I almost got away.

I stopped in my tracks, mentally preparing myself for what he was going to say. I looked back and hummed in response.

"Just um- goodnight" he said.

That's all?

"Night" I said, turning back and continuing down the hallway.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips, thankful that he didn't choose to make this any more awkward than it already was.. not that I even knew what the hell was going on, for that matter. I was too exhausted to think about it right now, and was just desperate to get to sleep already.

Once I got to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and peeled off the wet clothes that clung to my body, discarding them on the cold tile next to me. I turned the dial, stepping into the shower.

I let the heat sink into my skin, alleviating the tension from my muscles as all my anxious thoughts and worries melted away with the steam that filled the room. I rocked my head back, allowing the hot droplets to collide against my neck and trickle down my back as I felt myself unwind.

"You sure about this? Maybe we should go back.." I hesitated, looking at the crowds of teenagers flocking around the beach.

"You're the one who said you wanted to come in the first place" Brandon reminded.

Yup.. things are somewhat back to normal. I guess the both of us are pretending like the only out of the ordinary thing that happened last night was the storm, since the weather was back to normal now.

Well at least that's what I'm assuming, because ever since we woke up that's the only thing he's been babbling about - and like totally unprovoked too, he was clearly trying to avoid the subject.

But frankly I'm okay with it, as long as he's not crucifying me for almost trying to kiss him and saving me the embarrassment, I'm all good.

"Okay, I did not want to come, I simply suggested it would be 'interesting' to come out and see what was going on" I said.

What could we possibly be arguing about now, you ask?

Well, every summer a group of party animals and rich kids - mostly from my old high school and the neighbouring town's high - come together, pick a random beach and throw pretty wild parties. It's essentially like spring break 2.0 but a little more extra. They set up open bars once it hits nightfall, rent out all the nearby huts and beach houses and turn them into frat houses for the weekend, and basically just get smashed. And this year, they just happened to land on the beach we were at.

Since we were probably gonna be up all night from the loud music, I jokingly suggested 'if we can't beat them, join them' - which Brandon took way too seriously because now we were doing exactly that.

"..And now I'm really starting to regret that" I muttered under my breath, kicking a plastic cup that was in my way. "I think we should just g-"

"Stella!"

I whipped my head around, recognising the familiar voice.

"Oh my god, Nova?" I gasped in surprise, "I- Nova!?"

"Yeah, that's me" she laughed, enveloping me in a tight hug. "I barely recognised you, girl. Somebody grew up gorgeous"

"Me? What about you! I love the hair" I commented, taking in the sight of one of my oldest childhood friends. "It's been like.. 3 years since you moved, right?"

"Yeah, I'm down here visiting my grandparents and thought I'd swing by. I was actually hoping to bump into you" she said.

"Well you got lucky because I'm only visiting too, I live in California now and we're just here for the summer. Oh - this is my friend, Brandon" I introduced.

She shook his hand, looking back at me, "Seems like we have a lot of catching up to do"

"You guys should go, come find me later on" Brandon said.

"Really? You'll be okay here, alone?" I asked.

"Of course - people at parties love me, Sunshine." he assured. "Seriously, go. I'll be fine"

I felt Nova tug at my arm, pulling me along. "Wait, um take this" I said, handing Brandon the keys to the beach house. "Incase you.. you know, get bored and wanna leave or something. You're probably the more responsible one anyway, and I don't wanna lose them"

Flashing him a grateful smile, I disappeared off into the crowd with Nova.

An hour later

Groaning in annoyance, I shoved my way through the herd of wasted, dancing teenagers, eyes scanning the crowd for Brandon.

He couldn't have gone far.. maybe he went home?

Just as I was about to give up and go back myself, I heard my name being called. My head turned to the source of the yelling, and I saw none other than the idiot himself, sitting at the open bar with probably half the party with him.

Man, he sure is a social butterfly.. he has a knack for being adored wherever he goes.

"Sunshine! Get over here"

I certainly wasn't about to be knocked out by the sweaty people around me, flinging their limbs about so violently I wasn't sure if they were dancing or trying to fight. So I trudged my way through the sand, taking a seat next to Brandon.

"Who the hell are all these people?" he whispered to me.

He's asking me?

"How should I know, you're the one hanging with them!" I whispered back.

"Well I have no clue who they are, I thought you would since they went to your high school" he pointed out.

"Former high school" I corrected, "And I don't recognise a single person here"

"Hey, wait a minute, I know you.." a random guy slurred, sipping on a bottle of god knows what.

Note, a random guy meaning I'd never seen him in my life.

Brandon looked over at me, tilting his head, "See, told you!"

"You're.. Jessica." he said - pretty confidently at that. "Yeah. Jess, we hooked up once, right? You were gooddd"

I glared back at Brandon, narrowing my eyes at him as the guy stumbled off somewhere.

"Okay so maybe one drunk asshole mistakes you for someone else, doesn't mean you don't know anyone else" he said. "Like that girl, Nova. She seemed to know you pretty well"

"Not as well as I thought" I muttered under my breath. "Turns out I'm terrible at maintaining contact, I'm lucky she was nice enough to acknowledge me"

As he was just about to open his mouth to speak, the people surrounding started obnoxiously cheering on about something and crashing into us.

"Yo, Shields. We're all ditching this joint and heading to Martinez's yacht, wanna come?" a guy said, before eyeing me up and down in a rather suggestive way. "And uh.. Jess can come too"

"Jess is just fine here, thanks" I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"No I'm good here, you guys go have fun" Brandon said, encouraging them to leave, which they finally did. There were still a couple people scattered around us but for the most part, we were alone.

"Well, at least now they're gone" he said. "So are you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Nothing- nothing happened" I said defensively, "Why would you think that?"

"Come on, Sunshine. You're clearly upset, and you're getting agitated. Just tell me" he pleaded.

Sighing reluctantly, I shifted my body to face him. Before I said anything, I glanced over at the barkeep - who was barely a college freshman by the looks of it, and gestured for him to come over.

"Can we get some vodka shots here, please?" I asked, "Oh, and put it on Martinez's tab, thank you"

"Really, Stel?" Brandon said, shooting me knowing look.

"What?" I shrugged innocently, "If he owns a freaking yacht I'm sure a couple drinks won't dent his bank account"

"I wasn't talking about tha- woah, hey you wanna go easy there?" he asked, as I slammed the shot glass down after hastily chugging it down.

"You want me to talk or not? Because trust me, I need this" I said.

I brought the next one up to my lips, emptying it down faster than the first and wincing slightly as I felt my throat burn.

"Nova and I were really close when we were kids, she was practically my best friend growing up, but she moved up to NYC when we were 14" I recalled.

"So.. did you guys get into a fight or something?" he asked.

I shook my head, "Nah nothing like that.. we actually kept in contact pretty well, considering she lived almost three hours away. But when I was around 16, after Luke- you know.. I stopped replying to her texts and calls. I guess eventually she stopped trying, but I don't blame her because it was me who pushed her away in the first place"

"I'm sure she understands why you did it, though" he said. "With everything that happened?"

"That's the thing" I chuckled humourlessly, playing with the empty glass. "She didn't know. I didn't bother to check up on her in the last couple of years, so she was out of the loop.. that's why she thought I still lived here, I never even told her I moved to California. She didn't know, Brandon.. she didn't know I moved, she didn't know my parents got divorced, she didn't even know my brother passed away, because I didn't tell her! I mean, she asked me if Luke was here too, because she really wanted to see him. At first, I thought it was some sick joke, I thought.. hey, the sweet Nova I remember wouldn't mess with me like that.. and then I realised she was dead serious - no pun intended - she had no idea. She was Luke's friend as much as mine, and I had to tell her everything. Do you know how that feels, having to tell someone, 'hey, by the way, sorry I didn't tell you your old friend was murdered, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to even call"

"Well.. let me tell you" I sighed, turning to face him. "It feels shitty. I mean, she must hate me for keeping something that big from her.. I used to tell her everything, and one day I just cut her off, gave her no explanation. I didn't mean to.. it just happened, we weren't talking at all at that point, it would've been weird to message her out of the blue and I assumed she had some idea. But obviously, she didn't because it was my responsibility to tell her"

"I'm sure she doesn't resent you for it. She probably just needed time to process something like that, it's a lot to take in" he said.

"I know.. I just feel bad for not telling her all this time" I huffed in frustration, burying my face in my arms for a second before shooting back up. "No, actually I feel even worse for not feeling bad about not telling her - if that makes any sense. Like, it didn't even cross my mind to try and contact her because we'd both moved on from Miami, she had her life and I had mine, I didn't see a point in causing her unnecessary pain"

"But that's exactly why you shouldn't feel bad. You were just trying to let her live in peace, knowing she was unaware of everything. But you can't protect people forever - they eventually have to face the truth, it was inevitable that she'd find out." he insisted. "At least she knows now"

"Yeah.." I muttered.

"Loosen up, Sunshine. This is a party, after all" he reminded. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.."

Uh oh.. I know that look. That look means he's plotting something.

"Why do I have a feeling you're about to wreak havoc and get us both in trouble?" I asked.

"Wreak havoc? Definitely. Now the trouble part.. that depends" he said.

"On what?"

"Whether they catch us" he smirked, hopping off the barstool and grabbing my arm. "Come on"

...

"Oh my god" I whispered, stifling a laugh. "We are soooo dead!"

"Again, only if they catch us - which they won't" Brandon whispered, flashing a devious grin before turning back and emptying the last can across the railing.

To explain, Brandon thought it would be funny to prank those pretentious assholes from the bar, so while they were busy flirting their way through every makeshift frat house surrounding the beach we managed to find their yacht.

And.. we kinda snuck in, teepeed the whole interior, and finished it off with some shaving cream we found stashed in here.

Immature childish pranks.. what can I say? It's like our brand at this point.

"Shit, they're coming. Hide!" Brandon instructed, spotting them from afar as we climbed out of the boat.

"Uh... where?" I asked, "Are we supposed to jump in the ocean?"

He clutched my hand, tugging me with him as we ran off the edge of the pier, back onto the beach and out of sight just in time.

"What'd you say we go crash one of those house parties?" he offered, looking in the direction of a nearby beach house in the distance.

Well, a house would be too underwhelming of a term to describe that luxury two-story mansion that was flooded with people.

"Okay, now we're talking.."

No One's P.O.V.

"I rule at this!" Stella beamed, throwing her arms up in victory as the ball landed in the cup.

"You sure you haven't played beer bong before?" Brandon asked, eyeing her in suspicion.

"Not once" she said. "Now drink up"

"Beginners luck" he muttered, before emptying the contents of the red solo cup into his mouth.

The two of them had somehow found themselves on opposing teams in a game of beer pong with some strangers, and Stella's inner frat boy had made an appearance, causing her to perform pretty well for the past couple rounds. However, it didn't stop him from bringing his A-game, and she had to take a occasional drink too.

"I think I've had enough of beating you for one night.." she said, leaning over to him. "Plus, I think we're the only sober ones left"

He agreed, growing bored of the game and the two of them went off, exploring the giant house in all it's spacious expense. Eventually, they found themselves in a less packed room, where the people seemed a little more mellow.

"You know, I have been called everything but my name tonight. I can't believe no one here recognises me!" Stella whined. "Come on, do I look like a Jess?"

Brandon scanned her up and down, before giving her a serious look. "No, you most definitely look like a Stella"

"Exactly!" She nodded, "See, you get it."

She suddenly felt her phone vibrate and looked at the caller ID, lightly cursing to herself.

"What? Who is it?" he asked.

"My dad.. I'll be right back, I'm gonna try and get away from here so he doesn't think we're.. you know, at a party or something" she said.

"But we are at a party?" he stated bluntly.

"Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that!" she yelled, walking away. "Don't do anything dumb when I'm gone!"

After about 10 minutes of Stella convincing her dad she was being completely responsible and that the noise was coming from the neighbours party, she had finally gotten him to stop badgering her with suspicious questions and started making her way back. But as soon as her eyes landed on the couch the two were formerly occupying, her brows creased with a frown. In the short time that she was gone, Brandon had managed to attract a small group of people.. more specifically, girls. Two of them on either side of him, and one sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

Of course, a good looking guy like himself, completely solitary at a crowded party was a sight bound to lure in some girls. Except, these particular girls Stella happened to know - and let's just say she didn't really have the highest opinion of them.

Well truthfully, she couldn't stand this back-chatting, extremely artificial clique of queen bees back when she went to school with them. In fact, she called them the 'three wicked witches of the tenth grade' to their faces.. which didn't really put her on their good side either.

And seeing them practically jumping onto him, all giggly and flirty... that just gave her all the more reason to dislike them.

Trying to keep her cool, she began to calmly approached them. She chugged down the remainder of the drink in her hand, hoping it would lessen the feelings of hostile envy swirling around in her stomach, before chucking it to the side and plastering on the best fake smile she could.

"Well well, if it isn't Stella Solaria.." a snappy brunette said, "Hey, didn't you move to like.. boarding school?"

"Maddie, be more sensitive!" another girl whispered, hushing her friend "She got shipped off to Juvy, remember?"

"No it was just California. I moved to California" Stella corrected, glaring down at them as she clenched her jaw. "I know you guys didn't pass geography so I won't trouble you with the details"

"Aw that's funny, Brandy here is from Cali too, aren't you?" another girl giggled, shuffling a little closer to him.

"So you guys have already met my fr-" she paused, an outrageous idea popping up in her head that she knew she'd probably come to regret. However, the alcohol that was running through her veins deterred her better judgment, and only fuelled the little devil on her shoulder.

She bent down, trying to squeeze herself into the gap between him and the girl on his right. Although, that gap was nearly non-existent, so she had accidentally tumbled herself into his lap - but managed to pull it off as though she meant to do so in the first place.

"...my boyfriend" she finished, snaking an arm around his neck to get closer.

"Come again?" the brunette girl scoffed as they all backed off a bit, staring at her in wonder.

"Oh yeah, we're here on vacation.. together" she smiled, lightly kicking him in the shin. "Right, snookums?"

Brandon winced, completely perplexed at what she was doing. But judging by death glare she was giving him, he knew she'd do it again if he didn't play along.

"Uh- yeah" he quickly nodded, clearing his throat. He could barely focus on what he was saying with Stella sitting on his thigh, making his hormonal thoughts go wild. "I was waiting here.. you know, for you to get back"

"So nice of you girls to watch him for me. But I can take it from here.. we were pretty busy, anyway" she smirked, biting her lip as she played with the collar of his shirt. "Unless you wanna stay and watch?"

Brandon let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, staring up at the girl huddled up against him in astonishment. Where'd this sudden rush of brazen nerve come from? As far as he knew, Stella could get sassy, definitely audacious at times, but this was completely unpredictable of her.

Without another word, the girls quite angrily made their exit, leaving them alone again.

"..Explain?" Brandon asked, the only word he could manage to choke out.

"Those girls are trouble" she replied, instantly retracting her hand and shifting off him once they were out of sight.

"So you uh- you decided to.. do that?" he questioned.

"Would you rather I had dragged them out by their hair?" Stella joked.

"Little violent, Sunshine. Never pegged you as the possessively jealous type" he chuckled, suddenly gaining his confidence back as he found an opportunity to tease her.

"I'm not. Just- out of all the girls here you had to pick them to flirt with?" she muttered, her tone bitter as she sipped on a drink. "Honestly, Brandon.."

"I wasn't flirting, I was just being friendly" he shrugged.

"Yeah.. right" she scoffed, unconvinced. "You were like two seconds away from becoming their personal jungle gym"

"Why, would you rather it be you, snookums?" he teased, poking her cheek.

"Oh shut up, I did that for your safety" she said, swatting his hand away. "Trust me, you do not wanna let those vipers sink their fangs into you."

"Whatever you say, Sunshine.." he laughed.

..

After a little while, Stella had gone off to find some food, and it took her a good 20 minutes to find Brandon again. But she eventually did, finding him in the kitchen. She walked over to him, cheeks flushed red as the effects of all the alcohol she'd consumed in the past hour were taking an obvious effect.

The pain that resurfaced when she was filling Nova in on the tragedies that rocked her life had finally dulled a bit with the numbing elixir that ran through her veins. It made her feel free.. doubts, fears and inhibitions evaporating into thin air.

"Careful there, Brandon" she tutted, observing the beer in his hand as approached him, lazily leaning on the counter beside him. "Drink too much you'll start hitting on me again... "

Pausing mid-sip, he looked over at her, furrowing his brows in perplexity.

"What?" He scoffed, hoping it was just another dumb meaningless remark used to insult him. "What do you mean again?"

"Oh.. you know what I'm talking about" she shrugged innocently, peering over her shoulder. "That night at your house, when you threw that huge party..."

"I don't- you're messing with me right?" He asked, not recalling any of it.

He was so blackout drunk he didn't remember any of that night, and certainly didn't remember seeing Stella. He did know she was staying at his house at that period of time, but never worried anything questionable happened because she would have brought it up by now.. right?

"Funny, cos like- you know, you didn't even like me back then.. but that night you seemed to like me a lot.." she giggled, her voice tipsy with laughter. "Wait, you really don't remember?"

He shook his head, staring at her blankly.

"Seriously... you don't remember backing me up into a corner…?" She whispered, manoeuvring herself to face him. "Kinda like this.."

She gripped the countertop on either side of him, trapping him in as she cocked her head to the side.

".. and telling me how hot I looked?" she murmured, leaning up to meet his face.

"And then you got really.. " she started, inching closer and closer. "Really, close.."

His breath hitched, his gaze frantically switching from her lips to her eyes, wondering if she was really going to do it. He couldn't back up considering she was basically caging him in against the counter.

"You don't remember that, Brandon?" She teased, watching him fail miserably at forming a coherent answer.

"Hm, well.. now you do!" She beamed, mood abruptly changing as she grabbed the bottle of his grasp and took a pretty hefty swig herself, before turning back to her original position next to him and tossing her hair in his face in the process.

"Okay, uh.. I think that's enough booze for you" he said, clutching the bottle from her before she could chug down the whole thing.

"Hey! You're the one who said we should have funnnn" she pouted, pointing a finger at his chest accusingly.

"Yeah but I didn't mean you should get completely trashed, Stel" he said. "I can name three types of liquor you've had from here"

"I'm- I'm not trashed, silly! I am.. lightlyyy buzzed" she hiccuped, "Oh! We should get cream ice! Wait wait wait- did I say cream ice? I meant ICE cream!"

"Definitely trashed" Brandon sighed to himself, observing the energetic but intoxicated blonde. He wondered how the hell she managed to get this drunk anyway, figuring she must have had more when he wasn't watching her.

Oh, and of course those several shots she insisted on taking back at the bar. In fact, with those and all the beer she'd had, it was a wonder she hadn't passed out or thrown up yet - the girl could certainly hold her liquor down.

That was.. for now, at least.

But his mind drifted back to what she had said - or rather, demonstrated, to him a few short moments ago.

Had he really done that? Tried to.. by the looks of it.. kiss her, all the way back then?

She had no reason to lie, but he wondered why she never mentioned it to him before. He'd hear her joke about it once or twice but she covered up it so fast, he figured it was typical Stella weirdness.

He was more surprised she hadn't made a huge deal out of it, especially all those months ago. If roles were reversed, the old him probably would have teased her relentlessly for something like that. Maybe she was just trying to be respectful of his feelings.

Or maybe she hadn't mentioned it because she knew he didn't remember, and wanted to forget it. But that was then - a lot had changed between them, maybe there was a possibility that she didn't feel that way anymore?

Just last night, they'd come extremely close, before the weather quite rudely interrupted them..

Before Brandon could let his thoughts wander back to that perfect night next to the fire, where it was just the two of them under the stars, he was snapped out of his daze by a bottle smashing near him.

He immediately looked over to Stella, only to see her standing there with her palm covering her mouth to muffle her childish laughter, staring down at the mess leaking onto the fur rug.

"..Oops" she giggled, raising up her other hand in defence. "My mistake"

"Shit, Stel. What did you do?" he asked, observing her to see if she was hurt.

"It.. it slipped?" she shrugged cluelessly.

"Okay, we gotta go before someone finds out you spilled cheap beer on a really lavish, expensive rug" he said, grabbing her hand.

"Whaaaat? Who spilled beer on the fluffy rug?" she gasped in surprise.

"You did, Sunshine" he reminded, trying to shush her as he tugged her through the crowded corridors, and soon out of the house.

"Oh. Well, I hope they catch this 'sunshine' because was a very pretty rug" she said matter of factly.

He looked back at her, slightly confused. "No, Stel you- you know what, never mind. Let's just get you home, okay?"

"Hm.. not home. My home is in Gardenia" she stated. "Next to your home, remember? Oh, isn't it sooooo ironic that we're neighbours?"

"How so?" he asked.

"You know.. because were like sworn enemies or whatever. Like, my mom decided to move next door to the crowned asshat of Gardenia high, out of all people"

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "So you think I'm an asshat, huh?"

"Former asshat. You're much.. much nicer now, and more fun.. and you seem more happy. I like this Brandon better" she gushed ecstatically.

He looked at the peppy blonde grinning up to him, unable to stop the smile that tugged at his lips.

"Yeah, me too" he whispered, more to himself than her.

"I guess the irony is gone since we're not enemies anymore. We're just.. you and I. Us.. me and you" she pondered, giggling hysterically to herself.

Before he could ask her what she meant, he felt her stumble slightly.

"You sure you can even walk?" he questioned, looking at her in concern. She was completely in her own world, half delirious and slurring her words, making no sense.

"Well excuuuse me, mister. Of course I can- I can.." she mumbled, bumping into him. "What was the question, officer?"

He rolled his eyes playfully at her absurd, giddy antics, gently grasping her arm and hooking it around his shoulder to hold her up.

"Brandon.." she whispered, "Hey! Pssst! Brandyyy"

He glanced down at her, waiting for her to talk.

"Come here, I need to tell you a secret!" she whispered, dragging him down to her height.

"I'm.. a little teeny weeny bit drunk. Don't tell anyone!" she mumbled, bringing her finger up to her lip in a hushing motion, before going back into a fit of giggles. "And don't.. don't tell my dad!"

"Oh believe me, Sunshine" he scoffed, "I actually plan on seeing the light of day again, so I'm definitely not telling your dad"

"But that doesn't mean you're getting off the leash that easy with me. You are completely outta control" he said.

"Au contraire, monsieur" she challenged, "I'm completely in control!"

"Great, so you're bilingual when you're drunk" he said.

"Trilingual, pendejo" she corrected.

"Hey, potty mouth, watch it" he warned, giving the vulgar blonde a nudge.

"What? Don't act like you don't call Tristan that allll the time.." she laughed.

"Stel, I'm serious. You shouldn't have let yourself get this bad" his stern tone laced with underlying guilt at himself for enabling her to get this way in the first place. "I'm just worried about you, okay?"

"You're.. you're so cute when you're concerned" she yawned, her tired eyes glinting with adulation. "Don't worry, I'm perfffect"

"That you are" he chuckled, drawing the sleepy blonde closer. He fumbled in his pocket for the keys as they approached the door, and started to unlock it but stopped when he felt the weight on his shoulder start to go limp.

"Hey, hey.. we're almost here, Sunshine. Stay awake for a little longer" he instructed, shaking her lightly before opening the door.

"I want bed" she groaned, staggering down the corridor. "Where the hell is my bed?"

Brandon kicked the door closed behind him, grabbing the clumsy girl in front of him to keep her from tripping over her own feet.

"Come on, let's go" he whispered, ushering her into her room. Grabbing a water bottle on the way, he set it down on the bedside table and switched on the lamp, seating her down on the bed. He slipped off her shoes and began to unfasten the tight belt on her shorts, stopping there because he didn't want to overstep.

"Shields.. are you undressing me?" she gasped dramatically, swatting his hand away from her waist.

"Calm down, Stel. I'm only taking off this torture device you call 'fashion'" he joked, referring to her chained belt. "You'd probably be more comfortable sleeping in shackles than this thing"

"Mhm for once, I agree with you" she sighed, collapsing into the soft sheets as she let out a breath of relief.

"Wait, you gotta sober up a little" he said, drawing her back up before grabbing the water bottle and handing it to her. "Here, hydrate"

She knocked the cap off, and poured the contents of the plastic bottle in her mouth, letting the refreshing water run down her parched throat. She instantly felt a little better, almost finishing the bottle before putting it back on the table. She glanced at the little pills next to it, raising a brow in confusion.

"What are those?"

"Aspirin" he stated. "Trust me, you're gonna need it tomorrow"

"Oh" she said softly, blinking back up at him, "thank you.."

"Told you I'd take care of you, didn't I?" he whispered, flashing her a playful smile.

She nodded, biting her lip to hold back the grin that threatened to take over her face.

'Yeah.. you always do..' she thought to herself.

Although she was still very much hammered, her blurry vision became a little clearer in the soft light. Silence filled the air and all the people and loud music and yelling had finally subsided. Once again, it was just the two of them, and she found an comforting sense of security in that.

Her eyes travelled his across his handsome features, tracing past those gentle brown eyes, along the sharp angle of his jaw, until they finally settled on his lips.

She couldn't take it anymore. This anticipation, beating around the bush, the god-awful tension between them whenever they'd get close to something. And this time, she was not let gonna let the moment slip away again.

Without wasting a single second, she lunged forward, leaving barely any distance between their faces. Her fingers gripped the sheets beside her as she leaned up, admiring his eyes once more before she shut her own, and softly pressed her lips against his.

Eyes widening in surprise, Brandon didn't move a single muscle. He didn't pull away, but he didn't respond either - he just was frozen, too overtaken by the sudden spontaneous action she took.

Too shocked by the fact the she was actually kissing him. This wasn't just another close encounter.. this was it.

Once the initial shock from the collision of their lips had worn off and he processed what was going on, he felt himself ease up. His lips gently moved against hers in slow, syncopated harmony, and he could taste the bitter tinge of alcohol but could care less, considering how long he'd been yearning for this.. for her.

He couldn't begin to describe how amazing it felt, he couldn't even comprehend that it was real. That the girl in front of him wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Better yet, that she was the one who initiated it - it sparked a hope in him that she maybe reciprocated his feelings.

Just when he was about to reach out and bring his hands up to her face, she abruptly pulled away with a light gasp. Before he could truly savour the moment, it was over.

"I- I'm sorry" she mumbled, voice barely audible. "..I don't know why I did that"

Of course. Why didn't he realise it earlier? He was so caught up in the moment, he let himself forget how intoxicated she was.

That.. it was probably just a moment of weakness, she was vulnerable and she probably didn't mean to do it.

"Hey, no it's- it's fine" he whispered, attempting to return back to rational thought. "Just.. uh, get some sleep. Okay?"

She nodded softly, backing up. He switched off the lamp beside her, slowly shifting off her bed and walking away. Too overwhelmed to say anything, he whispered a quick goodnight and shut her door.

She had quite literally taken his breath away, and he had no idea how to react. Considering she wasn't in the right state of mind, he decided to let her sleep on it and see if she still thought it was such a good idea in the morning. But he couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips.. the very ones Stella had kissed just moments ago.

Stella had kissed him. It wasn't a dream.. it was real.

He forced himself to bury that feeling of elation, at least until tomorrow. He knew that it would hurt like hell if she were to tell him it was all one big mistake and that she wished she could take it back - because it was most likely just a pointless, drunken accident.

But there was small flicker of hope within him that this wasn't the case, and that she truly felt the same way he did. After all, she'd been hinting at it the whole summer, they both had. He figured that he was just being overly optimistic, seeing things that weren't there.. but maybe, just maybe, this was the weird reality check they both needed.

Stella's P.O.V.

The first thing I felt was my head pounding like crazy.

Did someone perform trepanation on me or something? It sure feels like there's a hole drilled into my skull.

Grumbling in pain, I slowly blinked my eyes open, adjusting to the sunlight that burned through the room.

What the hell happened yesterday? And why does my entire body ache?

I glanced down, noticing I was still in my clothes from last night, and flashes of the previous day started to return to me.

Right, the party... And all the drinking - must explain the killer hangover.

And.. oh. my. god.

Oh no.

My eyes widened as I shot up in bed, looking around frantically until they landed on my bedside table, gaze fixing on the bottle of pills.

"Aspirin" he stated, "Trust me, you're gonna need it tomorrow"

Shit! I didn't dream it - that really happened. Which must mean...

"...I don't know why I did that"

My words from last night rung continuously in my mind like a bell, making me flop back into bed groaning in frustration.

A pretty colourful string of curse words left my mouth, muffled by the pillow in my face.

I kissed Brandon?! I can't believe I actually-

Wait. but, he didn't push me off.

I don't know what I was anticipating but it certainly wasn't for it to go on as long as it did, I figured he'd just push me away and give me the classic 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' or 'I don't like you like that'. But.. he didn't.

In fact, I'm pretty sure if my memory isn't completely jacked up, he kissed back for a couple seconds. Maybe he was just being polite..?

Okay that's ridiculous, Stella. No one kisses like that to be courteous.

Maybe he was drunk too? I mean we both were drinking, but he was definitely sober compared to me. So let me get this straight, he let me kiss him... completely consciously?!

Why would he do that? Unless he...

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud beep, making me look over at my phone. I picked it up, and my brows furrowed at the contact name on the notification.

Alison - 1 new voicemail

Realisation dawned on me that it wasn't my phone, because I didn't have her number saved. Which means it was Brandon's phone. Why is he talking to Ali, of all people?

Letting my curiosity get the better of me, I played it.

"Hey babe, just checking in.."

Babe? What in the name of Pizza Hut-

"You didn't answer my texts last night and it's not like you, so I just wanted to see if you were okay...'

Continuing to listen, my brows creased harder and harder in confusion until I started to give my self an even worse headache.

"..so luckily you'll be home soon and I can finally have you back. Anyways, call me back when you get this!"

Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds?

It sounded like Ali and him weren't as over as I thought... qualifies as bad to me!

But that's impossible, he told me they were done..

And I thought he meant it since he's been so amazing this whole summer, surely he wasn't just doing all that out of just.. platonic compassion?

Scrolling down a bit, I discovered a few more texts from her which read as pretty damning evidence that there was something going on between them, especially since some were clearly replies - meaning he'd been texting back.

A loud knock echoed through my room, making me drop the phone as my eyes averted to the door.

"Stel? You okay in there?"

It's him. What do I do?

I've royally screwed things up, kissing him was dreadful enough and now I find out he's still been with Ali this whole time?!

Well.. kissing him wasn't exactly dreadful.. but that's besides the point!

"Can we- can we talk?" he asked, pausing for a second. "About.. last night"

Great. I'm about to face the most humiliating rejection ever.

"I know you're in there, I can hear you"

I saw the knob turn slightly, and started to panic.

Tumbling out of bed, I raced to the door and held it shut.

"No! Don't come in.. I'm uh- changing!" I exclaimed, not knowing what else to say.

"Fine, then can we talk after?"

"I- Actually I have to go out" I lied.

"What, now? Where?" he asked.

Think, Stel, think!

"To the- um, C-Carter? Yeah, Carter- he called me and wanted to meet up, so I'll be there.. not- not here" I stammered, cringing at my inability to make excuses without rambling like an idiot.

"Oh.. okay. I'll see you later?"

I hummed in response, waiting for him to walk away before scouring the bed for my own phone.

"Bingo!" I whispered, finding it buried under the sheets. I dialled his number, crossing my fingers that he'd pick up.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Cart? This is Stella, idiot. You gave me your number, remember?"

"Right. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise, Solaria?"

"God, you look awful" he said, taking the seat in front of me.

I rolled my eyes under my shades, propping them as I squinted under the fluorescent lights of the cafe.

"Well, at least you're still as blunt as you used to be" I smiled sarcastically.

"Not that I think driving an hour out to the beach to pick you up and then driving an additional hour back to town is weird or anything.." he started. "But why'd you make do that again?"

"Because!" I said, grabbing the menu from him. "I messed up. Big time. And I can't be around.. him"

"Who, Brandon...?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Okay, what happened?"

"I.. I kissed him" I admitted.

"Up top, girl" Carter smirked, holding up his hand in a hi-five motion.

"This is serious!" I groaned, shoving it away. "I got wasted last night, totally laid one on him. Ugh, I'm so screwed."

"Wait... this is bad how? I mean, you like him, he likes you.. I'm not seeing the issue" he shrugged.

"Cart, it's not as simple as that. I mean, I think he likes someone else, this morning I was on his phone and-"

"You snooped through his phone? Low blow" he tutted.

"Hey I did not snoop!" I protested "It was locked, I just saw the notifications, plus I thought it was mine. Anyway, there's this girl and.. it just looked bad. I don't wanna believe it because he wouldn't lead me on like that.. so I just- I don't know what to do"

"Stella, believe me when I say that guy has got it bad for you. In fact, I feel quite bad for him, being so smitten with a maniac like you" he joked.

"Hey!" I interjected, nudging him across the table.

"Jokes aside, I really think you're just trying to find reasons to avoid facing your feelings. I only met him for like two seconds but it's so painfully obvious that he's crazy about you, and from everything you've told me about him, you'd be an idiot to throw someone like that away"

"He's probably just confused, like you are. Just talk to him, take it from me - communication is key" he said.

"Ooh, when did you become such a relationship expert?" I chuckled.

"Stel, I've dated guys and better yet, I am one. I know how our brains work, we're completely hopeless unless you tell us what you want, plain and simple" he explained.

"So I should just tell him how I feel- which I don't even know how to put into words, honestly - and hope for the best?" I asked.

"Yup. I don't know why you're so apprehensive about it though.. " he wondered.

"It's just.. complicated. But you're right. Thanks, Carter.. " I smiled, "Not just for the advice but for meeting me on such short notice"

"Anytime, Stel. Now, can we talk about the rest of your life too? I wanna know what you've been up to in California" he said.

"Well, you know, I live with my mom. And um, Brandon is my next door neighbour which is-"

"Geez, you've got it worse than him. Can you go one second without talking about your lover-boy?" he teased. "Brandon this, Brandon that"

"Shut up, I don't sound like that!" I laughed, "Now, you gonna let me finish or do I need to shove a croissant in your mouth to keep you quiet?"

"I'd prefer pie, actually. Oh - blueberry, I'm craving blueberry. You think they have any?" he asked, getting up "I'm gonna go see"

"No wait, Carter- hey, at least get me a piece!"

Closing the car door, I walked up the path leading up to the beach house.

Carter's right. Brandon is probably just as confused about it all as I am.

In fact, he's probably sitting around, waiting for me to come back so we can talk.. yeah, what else would he be doing?

Pushing the front door open, I was met with the sound of distant laughter.

Who could be here.. except for him of course?

My jaw dropped at the sight of Brandon sitting on one of the barstools, with the girls from last night scattered around him.

Yes. The same mean queens from my old high school. Same girls I despise. Same girls I specifically told him not to talk to.

"What the actual fuck are they doing here?" I snapped. "What- what is this?"

"Stella? I thought you were-"

"You thought I was gone so you'd have yourself a little fun, hm?" I jeered, not even wanting to hear an explanation as to why they - of all people, were here "Unless you witches want to be thrown out, I suggest you leave. Now."

I couldn't even attempt to play nice with them, I thought if Brandon knew I didn't want him associating with them, then he'd have the brains to figure out they were sure as hell unwelcome in my own house.

Clearly, he's incompetent of listening to simple instructions.

"Uh oh, looks like the girlfriend doesn't want us" one of them said, twirling her hair around.

Brandon sighed, "Look she's not my girlfriend okay, I-"

"Oh, yeah don't I know it" I scoffed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Not wanting to be involved in drama, one of them muttered something about wanting to head out because they were 'bored', which I took as a sign to usher their obnoxious selves straight to the door.

"Don't even think about coming back!" I threatened, practically slamming the door behind them.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being such an uptight little drama queen?" he questioned, amusement lacing his tone.

A drama queen.. seriously?

"Excuse me?" I sneered, crossing my arms. "You have the audacity to bring these bitches into MY house, completely disregarding what I say and then tell me I'm overreacting? I told you not to affiliate with them, so what, you thought it was a good idea to bring them here instead?!"

"You can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with, Stella, you're not my-"

"I'm not your girlfriend? Trust me, you've made that abundantly clear" I snapped.

"God, why are you so mad? You go out with Carter, but I can't hang out with them?" he questioned "What, are you the only one allowed to hang out with people now?"

"Yeah well unlike you, I wasn't trying to screw Carter on the freaking coffee table!" I yelled, gesturing at it.

"It wasn't like that, and you know it" he protested, "What are you, jealous?"

"No! Of course I'm not- what the fuck would I have to be jealous about anyway? Those girls share a single braincell between, if that!" I scowled, feeling my head throb at how loud I was being.. and the stupid hangover didn't help either. "It's just that they're bad people and I don't want you around them!"

"Oh, I get what this is about. This is because of what happened last night, and you don't wanna talk about it so you're just finding every reason to lash out at me" he said, getting up.

"This has nothing to do with that!" I groaned defensively.

"Really? Because you've been avoiding me all day, you barely said three words before leaving this morning" he stated, leaning against the wall a couple feet away from me.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I lied.

"What, you're just gonna pretend like it didn't happen? Reminder, you kissed me, Stella" he recalled "And now you won't even talk about it! So can we please-"

"It was a mistake!" I blurted, coming out much harsher than intended. "It meant nothing!"

Fuck. Don't do it Stel.. just take it back!

"...what?"

I could've sworn I heard a tinge of.. hurt in his voice. But I ignored it, knowing if I were to tell him the truth it would mess things up.

Don't make this harder by lying to him.

"I- I wasn't thinking straight.. and I was mad about Nova, and really really drunk, and I shouldn't have done it" I rambled, words tumbling out of my mouth uncontrollably.

The combined fear of rejection with my extreme nervousness at that moment resulted in some pretty severe word vomit erupting from my throat.

Of course, I didn't mean any of it, but I let my fear get the best of me and did some pretty irreparable damage I'd surely come to regret, but there was no turning back now.

"It was an accident.. and it shouldn't have happened" I clarified, avoiding his piercing gaze, "I just figured you'd be mad at me or something."

"I'm not-.. I'm not mad" he denied, "why would you think that?"

"Because you and Ali.. are whatever you guys are"

"Which is nothing. Why would you even bring her up?" he questioned.

"Don't lie to me, Brandon." I retorted, boldly meeting his eyes. "I heard the voicemail she sent you"

"You went through my phone?" he asked, his tone becoming accusatory.

"Don't twist this on me! I didn't do it on purpose, I thought it was my phone and saw a message from her.." I explained, "which I thought was weird because you told me you guys haven't spoken in months-"

"We haven't!" he claimed.

"Hm, so imagine my surprise when I see you guys have been texting back and fourth the last couple days, only for her to send you very suggestive voicemail!" I shot, crossing my arms. "Why didn't you just tell me about her! Do you really think that low of me that you can't even trust me? I've been pouring my heart out to you for weeks Brandon, letting myself be vulnerable with you because I thought we- we could talk about things like this. All the while you've been lying to me, I can't even-"

"Whatever she said, it's a lie, Stel" he interjected. "I swear, most of those texts are old and anytime she does text me I just reply to be polite, okay?"

"I don't like her.. or anyone for that matter so just- just leave it alone" he warned, frustration visibly growing on his face.

For a second, I wanted to believe him.. hoping maybe he'd say exactly what I wanted to hear.

But the way he emphasised 'anyone' made it feel like he was just twisting the knife. I mean, finding out he'd been keeping this stuff about Alison this time just felt.. unbelievable. Like I knew deep down it was probably nothing, but regardless I pestered on about it to try and forget how I had completely lied to him myself, saying it meant nothing.

Well.. to me, it certainly meant something. But since he went so far as to stress that he didn't like anyone, it just made my feelings seem all the more unrequited.

I exhaled, trying hard not to let my feelings cloud my judgement. I'd be a hypocrite if I got mad at him for not sparing my feelings when I had just made it seem like there were none in the first place.

"Look I don't care anymore, you can do whatever you want with whoever you want" I sighed, my voice softening with no effort left to yell anymore. "I'm not gonna judge you for getting out of your 'I hate girls' phase, it's not like you were gonna be celibate forever! I just thought you'd have the decency to tell me you were dating someone - I mean, I thought we were friends and you can't even be honest?"

"You'd believe her over me, seriously? There is nothing going on between Ali and I, why can't you get that into your head?" he exasperated. "Look, if you regret what happened so much that you'd seriously delude yourself into thinking I'm with Alison just to forget it.. then just say the word and I'll never bring it up again"

"Really?" I chirped a little too eagerly. "Just like that?"

"If- if that's what you really want then.. fine" he nodded, looking everywhere but my direction. "Consider it forgotten"

After a while of dead silence, the tension got so unbearably uncomfortable and he finally spoke up.

"I'm gonna head out for a while. Don't wait up" he said rather coldly, walking right past.

"Hey.. Brandon?" I asked. He paused, turning around.

"Thanks.." I said, "for um- not making a big deal out of it"

"Yeah whatever" he muttered bitterly under his breath, his expression completely hollow and emotionless. Without so much a second glance, he shut the door behind him and left.

A scoff left my throat, not knowing whether to be offended, or mad, or thankful..

I mean.. let me get this straight, he literally gives me a choice and then gets mad at me for picking one of them?

Or maybe he's mad I picked the wrong one? Like, he wanted to talk about it and I shut him down so quickly. And maybe I judged him too fast - he could've wanted to say more, so he clearly doesn't want get over it. Neither do I.. so why the fuck did I just do that?!

Hell, if he was the one who kissed me with no explanation, and then demanded I never bring it up again without giving me the chance to discuss it I'd be mad too.

But this was different.. it was more complicated than that. Just when I come to terms about my feelings for him, I find out he's been talking to Ali this entire time? Why would he keep that from me unless he had something to hide?

In his defence, him being with Ali does sound completely ridiculous considering how he couldn't stand her.. and it is Alison after all. She's like a cockroach, keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to get rid of her.

I'll just wait for him to come back.. and then give him the opportunity to talk instead of trying to assume what's going on in his head.

The sun had set, and it was getting dark. Brandon had been out the entire day and came back around an hour ago, but he went straight up to his room without even announcing his presence, so I figured I'd give him a while to cool off.

Taking a deep breath, I stood outside his door, my fist frozen in the air in a knocking motion. I found myself absentmindedly straightening out my clothes and fixing my hair - not that it even mattered what I looked like at this point.

Come on Stel.. you can do this. Just tell him how you feel..

After just standing in the same spot for a couple minutes like a freaking statue, I finally mustered up the courage to knock on the door, patiently waiting for a response.

What if he's still mad at me?

This was a bad idea... I should just leave him alone.

Just when I was about to turn back, the door swung open, Brandon leaning against the frame.

"Yes?"

Well.. judging by his cool demeanour he doesn't seem particularly angry. To be honest, he doesn't bothered at all.

"Um.. I- I was wondering if you wanted to.. talk?"

"About?" he asked, completely uninterested.

Jesus, can he not take a hint, must I spell it out for him?

If this is his way of punishing me, he's doing a great job!

"You know.. earlier. I just- I wanted to apologise, I totally overreacted and I'm sorry for accusing you of all that stuff. You're right, I should've believed you.."

"Oh.. it's cool" he nodded, pursing his lips together. He started to turn back, closing the door.

"Wait!" I squeaked, stopping the door and pushing it back open. "Brandon, you really don't wanna talk about.. what we- or I did last night?"

"No, not really" he shrugged nonchalantly.

"W-What?" I asked, furrowing my brows together, "But I thought-"

"You were right. It didn't mean anything, you were just drunk and upset over Nova, you don't have to be embarrassed about it" he spoke, his tone seeming so detached and uninterested, as if he couldn't care less.

"But, I'm not embarrassed.." I chuckled, shaking my head, "No, that's not why I wanted to-"

"Hey, if I had dime for every time I fucked up and did something crazy while I was drunk, I'd be rich" he interjected. "It's fine, really"

So it was just a fuck-up to him? Something.. crazy?

Completely out of the ordinary, like it wasn't even in the realm of possibility that something could happen between us?

That had to be a lie, I mean the amount of times he and I'd- it just.. there has something there. I know it.

He's just angry.. that's it. And he's justified to be, so I just need to keep calm and let him speak.

"Look, I just want you to know that it wasn't a-"

Not even giving me the chance to speak, he cut me off once again - almost like he didn't want to hear what I had to say. That, or he didn't care.

"Stella, if some meaningless affection was what it took to get over whatever... emotional inner turmoil you were going through, then so be it"

I felt my blood run cold at his words.

...meaningless affection?

Sure, it wasn't perfect. I was drunk and seconds from passing out.. and he was probably exhausted and pissed off at me for getting so wasted. But I didn't think he saw it as something so futile?

Like I was just some type of impulsive, pathetic train wreck that would exploit our friendship to make myself feel better.. as if I was a damaged mess that would use him for physical affection to fill some void?

He just assumed that was the only logical explanation as to why I'd kiss him - did he believe I was that shallow? After everything, these past few weeks and the way we've gotten closer, did it all mean nothing to him?

And, not that it was of any significance, but he called me Stella.

Not Stel, not Sunshine.. just plain old 'Stella'. Hearing my own name never felt more foreign than when it came out of his lips in that moment.

"Is there anything else?" he asked impatiently, like he was urging for me to leave.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I forced a small smile. "No. Nothing."

Not needing any other indication, he closed the door in my face, leaving me standing out there once again.

"Great. Just.. fucking great" I cursed under my breath, before turning on my heel and practically stomping to my room.

I collapsed into my bed, not even bothering to bury myself in the sheets or change into my pjs, and just stared blankly up to the ceiling.

Guess I was wrong about it everything then. I thought this past month would lead up to something more, but I couldn't help but wonder if all this time.. maybe he just saw our friendship as some sort of distraction?

And the fact that he was completely okay with it and not offended in the least only led me to believe he felt the same way. That he was just playing me, leading me on - because he clearly had no intention of wanting to be with me.

He was practically bathing in the attention that those girls were giving him, and had no problem flirting back, so maybe it was all just some stupid ego thing to him?

But he's not like that. He's been there for me, every single time without fail.. I can't ignore that. He's said countless times that he cares about me, and I believe he does, but maybe it's just.. not in the way I want him to.

And god knows we've had a million arguments, but this one seemed different. It's like he wasn't even mad at me.. like he didn't care enough to be mad.

I guess I wanted him to fight for me, but he didn't.

That was no doubt my fault in the first place - I'd made such a huge mess of things. And I feared we couldn't go back to the way we were after this, which scared me to death. Because all this time, I'd been keeping him at arm's length, pushing him away so I didn't lose what we had.

But this time, I pushed him too hard.. and most likely, lost him in the process.

I'm sorryy bbys I promise it won't be this bleak forever. Just a little (or a lot) more angst, but I swear this second cold war between won't last long. And yes, I know I'm absolutely horrible for making you guys wait so long just for this to happen, but as Carter said communication is key and these two are terrible at it lmao. Also their first kiss may have been underwhelming but I promise you the next one will not disappoint, by then everything will be good :)

And thank you guys for 200+ reviews! It still shocks me that after all this time I'm still receiving so much support, I love you all! ❤︎