Chapter 30 – Burning Passion

Ana gradually comes to after falling apart from reading the letter.

The letter was a simple therapy assignment completed by a very complicated woman. The assumed outcome was to be cathartic and healing for the letter's originator. It was not intended to end up in the hands of the subject. In this case, it did by the action of the writer's mother.

'All of that pain. All of that confusion. All of it inflicted on Christian…on me…on José and Tyler. All because she was hurt and never got the help that she needed when she needed it,' Ana reflects as she dries her tears with a tissue.

Ana combs through the letter a few times over and has to regain composure each time. 'Over one year of turmoil and deception. Over one year of heartache and despair. I don't give a fuck how she feels right now! I don't care if she's sorry! She tried to destroy everything that Christian and I built – our marriage, our children…our livelihoods! Then she forces a baby into our lives only for him to be ripped out, leaving a gaping hole in my heart! If I did not hate her before, I truly hate her now!' Ana seethes within.

Gradually, Ana talks herself out of her fiery emotions. 'She's permanently out of our lives. We no longer have to suffer by her hand. The best revenge is to move on and to forget the likes of Candice Fuller. The best revenge is for me to love my husband unlike ever before – to continue loving our children. I hope that we can share that love with a third child.'

It hits Ana that she has yet to conceive. Ana's menstrual cycle usually deviates after discontinuing her birth control shots, so her irregularity does not alarm her. It took her a while to get pregnant after Ted, so she knows to be very patient this time around. However, while she waits, Ana wants to regain her mental strength in the process. Christian mentioned to Ana not too long ago that she lost touch with who she truly was once Candice got into her head. Those words resonated with her – so much so, that Ana is highly considering paying Dr. Flynn a visit. He's the only therapist Ana seems to trust right now. Ana resolves to talk this plan through with Christian tonight.

But first thing's first. Ana forwards Christian the email and attachment from Mrs. Fuller with a note. She prefaces the email explaining to him what the letter is and details her brief conversation with Candice's mother. Christian replies to her email fifteen minutes later, informing her that they will discuss this in detail tonight at home. Ana couldn't get a temperature on what Christian felt about the letter, but 'we'll talk at home' is an indication that Christian's thoughts on the matter are more complex than a simple reply in an email would allow.

….

Shortly before 9 o'clock after the children have fallen asleep, Christian and Ana convene in the one place they meet whenever a heart-to-heart discussion is paramount. They sit on the plush cream leather sofa in the great room facing the window wall. Christian takes his wife by the hand and they gaze at one another.

"So," Ana prompts first. Christian sighs.
"She's very sick, Ana. But we already knew that," he murmurs. Christian looks down at his lap. All of a sudden, Ana's eyes grow wide.
"Christian, no – stop. You had nothing to do with that. She was sick before you met her," Ana reassures her husband. However, her words do little to comfort him.

"I'm not comfortable in saying that I had absolutely nothing to do with her snapping like that," Christian says softly. Ana squeezes his hand.
"Have you talked to Flynn about it?" she inquires with a murmur. He nods.
"He said what you just said. I wish I never met her. She wouldn't be where she is today, that baby would've never been born, and you and I wouldn't be over here trying to pick up the pieces," he declares. Ana releases his hand and wraps her arms around him. He kisses her on the forehead.

"I'm supposed to be comforting you right now. She addressed the letter to you," he says with an ironic grin. Ana chuckles before releasing her hold and facing him once again.
"So, I'm thinking about seeing Dr. Flynn again myself. What do you think?" Ana proposes. He nods.
"I think it'll be good," he concurs.
"Okay. I'll give him a call tomorrow. No more doctor recommendations from news articles for me," Ana chuckles. Christian frowns at her.

"What?" Ana says, alarmed by his expression.
"Nothing," Christian says, clipped.
"Christian," Ana chastises him with narrow eyes.
"That Carlson broad is full of shit," he reveals, repulsed.
"Yeah, what's with her? You saw what Candice said in that letter. It's as if Sarah made her worse. You should've heard the crap Sarah was telling me to do," Ana huffs in exasperation. Christian arches a morbidly curious brow at her.

"What did she say?" he asks.
"She told me to leave you right away and to take the kids. She also gave me some women's advocacy group contacts to reach out to in order to purse a divorce," Ana smirks. Christian is heated.
"What the fuck?!" he snaps. Ana nods with a sour grin.

"Did you – were you considering divorcing me?" Christian stutters in a sober whisper with pain very evident in his gray eyes. Ana's heart drops.
"No. Divorcing you wasn't even a thought for me," Ana wistfully murmurs, not blinking an eye.
"No?" he says, fishing for reassurance.
"No. I was hurt when you told me about Candice's pregnancy. I wanted to leave, but only for a little while. However, I never wanted to end us. I could never do that. I can't live without you, Christian," she breathes – now fighting back tears. The hurt in Christian's eyes slowly dissipates.

"But you wanted to leave?" he probes.
"I just thought that I needed the time and space to figure everything out. Turns out that I didn't need it. I'm so glad that I didn't' run," Ana breathes with a bittersweet smile on her lips. He reclaims her hand.
"Me too," Christian says with a relived grin. He closes the gap between them and lovingly claims her lips with his. She reciprocates.

"So what now?" Ana poses the question in a whisper after they pause from their kiss.
"Well…" Christian starts with a salacious gleam in his eye. Ana chuckles.
"I was asking about Candice's letter. Should I respond? Should I confront her?" she ponders aloud.
"No. Don't respond. We move forward and don't look back…just as she says in the end of her letter," he replies, appearing straight-laced and unshaken. Ana eventually nods in agreement.

"Okay. So onward we go. We won't mention her ever again. Candice is now filed under the same category as Mrs. Robinson and Leila," Ana grins. Christian nods, kissing his wife swiftly on the lips.

"And right now, I would like to file the most cherished part of my anatomy in a place that I hold very near and dear," Christian purrs with carnal intent, glancing down in between his wife's legs as he says it. Ana giggles.
"Christian, you are so kinky," she shyly teases.
"You know it, baby. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you very much enjoy our kinky fuckery, don't you, Mrs. Grey?" he breathes hovering his lips a hair away from hers. Her lips open up infinitesimally and her breath eases out as her secret places pulsate with desire.
"I love our kinky fuckery, Mr. Grey," she exhales. He kisses her passionately before pulling back for just a beat.

"I love you," Christian breathes the words as if it's a litany. He immediately claims her mouth once more before she has the chance to speak in return.

….

"I think it's healthy to forgive. I know it'll be hard to do at first. But one day, you'll hopefully reach a point in your life where you'll simply let bygones be bygones. My mother used to always tell me that holding a grudge in your heart does more damage to you than it does for the person you are holding the grudge against. It's like brewing poising for someone, but drinking it yourself."

It's Thursday afternoon and Ana is seated across from Dr. Flynn in his office as she takes in his words of wisdom.
"Right now, I don't believe I ever hated anyone more in my life. She's pretty much tied with Jack Hyde, if not exceeded him in my book. At least Jack never tried to play on my emotions. Candice is the worse of the worse," Ana says with contempt. Dr. Flynn continues to compassionately look at the young woman before him who is dressed in a beige pencil skirt and a floral, sleeveless silk blouse.
"But a small part of me feels sorry for her. I know that Christian feels sorry for her," Ana says, slightly easing up on her anger.

"You're human, Ana. You understand that the course of Candice's life included a series of bad decision that led her to become the person who wreaked havoc in your marriage. But at the very core, she's a little girl who just wanted somebody to love her on her level. You probably can relate to that to some degree," the doctor muses in his signature English accent. Ana shamefully looks down at her stylish shoes.

"I already had Christian's love. Yet, I felt very threatened by her. Our children were rapidly growing, and here comes this woman from his past claiming that she was carrying his child. I felt like old news. I thought she was going to become the new center of his attention," Ana pours out.

Flynn is taken aback that the once taciturn young wife is now an outpouring fountain of feelings and emotion. The good doctor is amazed at the growth he has seen in Ana.

"And was your assessment a correct one?" he prompts her. Ana grins broadly.
"No. I was dead wrong. He never lost sight of me – of us…of Ted and Phoebe. He was always right there with us," she says proudly. The doctor smiles warmly.
"I could have never imagined over five years ago that Christian would be the man that he is today. He's a rock. You can pat yourself on the back Ana for getting him to that place," he commends Ana.

"He worked damned hard himself to get there. I am so proud of him," Ana says with love and admiration for her husband.
"So why did you need to see me anyway? You seem to be doing splendidly," chuckles Dr. Flynn. Ana shyly grins.
"I don't know. I just wanted to see if I was on the right track," she says.

"Ana, you have more than proven that you are capable of making the best decisions for you. You stuck with your gut. When someone ill-advised you to leave your husband, you realized all on your own that it wasn't the best thing for you to do. Today, you are reaping all of the benefits of your correct choices. You did all of that on your own," Flynn praises.

"But what about how I reacted when I found out that Candice was pregnant? The playroom purchases…feeling inadequate," Ana rambles off her list of faults. Dr. Flynn looks at her with warmth and understanding.

"Your response was a primal one. When we feel threatened, we may at times draw on a method of defense. Ana, you're human. When something comes along and questions your very reason for being, you may step outside of yourself. That's pretty much what you did at the time. Christian knew that's what you were doing. He has even done it himself a time or two," he grins conspiratorially, slyly motioning towards the enormous multimillion dollar diamond ring planted on her finger. Ana rolls her eyes and giggles. 'Oh yes, the ridiculous ring my husband bought me in order to one-up a creep who was obsessed with me,' she reflects.

"Just keep working on letting go of the past and moving onward. You are very fortunate. Two beautiful children, a career that you enjoy, and a husband who's absolutely crazy about you," Flynn assesses with a pleased expression on his face.

Ana meditates on Dr. Flynn's words and a look of sheer contentment and peace resides on her countenance.

….

Christian enters their bedroom just before ten o'clock that evening. The room is completely dark, save for the dim moonlight peering through the blinds. He looks over to the bed and sees that it is still made and unoccupied.

"Ana?" he calls out.
"Yes," she responds in a soft voice.
"Where are you?" he says with confused narrowed eyes.
"I don't know – why don't you find me?" she challenges her husband in a seductive tone. Christian grins in sheer amusement.

"Are we playing a game, Mrs. Grey?" he says, oozing seduction.
"Maybe," she teases. He slowly begins to prowl around in the room in the dark, feeling his way around the bed. His bare feet are also on high alert, hoping to possibly catch his wife in a potential hiding spot.

"Oh, I'm going to find you, and when I do…" Christian purrs.
"Then what?" Ana seductively coos in response.
"I'm going to take you in my arms," he says as he continues to carefully roam around the bed. He decides to keep his responses brief because he knows that the nature of the game is to follow her voice. Keep her talking.

"Then what?" she whispers. He changes course, following her voice in the direction where he believes it's coming from.
"Then, I'm going kiss every single inch of you," he says softly. She sighs in satisfaction.

"What else?" she breathes, now weak in the knees.
"I'm going to please you with my mouth," he says silkily. She stifles a pleasure-filled breath.
"That what are you going to do to me?" she asks after a few beats. Suddenly, she feels his presence. He has found her, standing feet away from the chaise longue.

"I'm going to make love to you. All. Night. Long," he says slowly, pausing after each word.
In sheer anticipation, every muscle in her body spasms. Suddenly, he wraps his arms around her waist and he is startled upon touching her.

"Why, Mrs. Grey, are you naked?" he grins at her in the darkness. He gently begins to caress her from her bare back down to her soft round bottom. Ana's breath hitches in her throat at his touch.

"Do you like it when I touch you?" Christian asks in a low and deep tone that sends chills down her spine.
"Oh no, Mr. Grey – I love it," she breathes in ecstasy as she tilts her head back. He grazes her lips with his.

"I want you to do something for me," Christian says in a challenging tone. Ana's inner goddess is now on call. "Wait here," he commands.

Christian saunters over to the dimmer and turns up the light ever so slightly. He then returns to his wife and looks her dead in the eye with a sexy grimace that makes her knees buckle. He steps back, and assesses her body from head to toe. He licks his lips in vast approval. Ana exhales as her body begins to yearn for him even more. He steps away from her again, this time approaching to the nightstand to retrieve the remote for the audio system. He walks back towards his wife again, but instead of facing off with her, he immediately makes himself comfortable on the chaise longue. Ana eyes elevate in surprise.

Christian focuses on the remote and presses a few buttons. The ambient sound comes alive, but he continues to flick buttons until he comes across a very seductive Sade song.

"I want you to dance for me," he finally implores her. Ana gapes at him.
"Come on, baby. Dance for your hubby," he says with both love and lust in his eyes.
"Christian – I…" she says, startled.

"It's just you and I. We've been dancing together for years. Now I want to see you dance for me – a seductive dance. Call it a mating dance," he teases her. Ana chuckles, but she is still petrified. Ana tries to gather her wits and find her inner seductress. 'She's in there somewhere. Come out and play for your husband,' Ana implores her inner goddess. Suddenly, the sleeping beast awakens within her.

Ana begins to sway along with the enticing rhythm. She closes her eyes and loses herself in the music. She caresses her body in the dance. Eventually, she opens her eyes and prowls closer to her prey as he lies on the lounger, completely mesmerized by her. She straddles her naked body over his body, which is still clothed in a white dress shirt with two buttons unfastened, and dark slacks.

She looks down at his waist and slowly unbuckles his belt. Christian doesn't take his eyes off of her as she does. She slowly slides the belt off by the buckle and then wraps the accessory around his neck. She begins to dance even more seductively, straddling him while gripping the belt around his neck on both ends. He is purely turned on.

"Mrs. Grey," he breathes throwing his head back.
"Yes," she mouths, equally as turned on.
"Undress me," he requests, breathless.

Without uttering a word and glaring directly into his eyes, Ana begins to unfasten his shirt slowly, one button at a time. His lips part infinitesimally as he takes her in. When she is done, he helps her to remove the shirt from his shoulders, exposing his sculpted torso. Ana licks her lips in delight. Christian grins.

"I have something that you'll like seeing even more," Christian teases her. Ana smiles with anticipation before starting on his pants. She unfastens the button and lowers down the zipper before working down his slacks and underwear. His erection springs free and she can't take her eyes off of it.

"You like?" he tempts her.
"Oh, yes," she says, placing the tip of her index finger in her mouth. He knows exactly what she wants to do.
"Go for it," he permits. She positions her bottom at his ankles and works her way up until her mouth comes in contact with his erection. She takes him slowly in her mouth, eliciting deep moans from her husband.

"Yes," he praises, stroking her hair with both of his hands.
"Ah!" he calls out in satisfaction as she moans deep in her throat. She takes him all the way down and he calls out her name. She increases the intensity of her ministrations, making him lose control.

"Ana, I'm going to come," Christian eventually calls out with shortness of breath. She moans in welcome and does not relent. Suddenly, Christian firmly grips her hair as he climaxes, releasing violently and wetly into her mouth.

"Ana – shit!" he cries loudly as his orgasm shatters through him. Once Christian regains his equilibrium, he gently pulls his wife up by the shoulders to meet her face to face. He quickly kisses her before abruptly flipping her over, causing her to gasp in surprise.

"Your dance pleased me, Mrs. Grey. You also pleased me again very much just a moment ago. I made a few promises earlier, which I plan on fulfilling wholeheartedly," he says, looking down at her with smoldering gray eyes. All of the air leaves Ana's body. Christian begins kissing her starting at her lips and slowly works his way down her body.

Ana loses herself completely in him.

"Oh, Christian!" Ana cries out his name later that evening as he makes love to her slowly on the chaise lounge.
"Yes, Ana…come for me, baby," he groans in entreaty. And just like clockwork, Ana comes hard, screaming out her orgasm, sending shockwaves throughout her body and directly to him. He follows suit shortly afterwards, calling out her name as if it were a sweet love song.

The two engage in a post coital embrace. Ana now lies on her love's chest.
"I could do that all night," she breathes in sheer bliss.
"So could I, Mrs. Grey," he echoes her sentiment, planting an affectionate kiss on her forehead.

"I don't want to live even one day without you," she pleads in a whisper.
"Ditto," he breathes, matching her emotion.
"I love you more and more each day," she muses. He squeezes her tightly.
"It's you and me, baby. Forever," he declares with everlasting love evident in his gaze. Ana swoons.

"Just like the oak tree out in the meadow says," he smirks. Ana giggles.
"And there it is…my most favorite sound in the world. I love you, Mrs. Grey," Christian murmurs. Ana shifts and lovingly looks down at him.

"I love you more, Christian Grey," she declares before reclaiming his mouth with hers.

….

It's the last Tuesday of the month and a very busy day. Ever since Ana has had lunch, she has not been feeling well. She's been experiencing uncomfortable pains in her chest area. She chalks it up to heartburn and takes an antacid for it.

In the middle of a meeting with Roach and a few of the editors, Ana discretely steps out of the conference room. By happenstance, Hannah goes into the ladies room and sees her boss hunched over on the floor in an open bathroom stall.

"Ana! Ana! Are you okay?!" Hannah calls out in a panic.
"I think I'm having a heart attack," Ana says in barely a whisper.
"Oh my God! I'm calling the paramedics!" Hannah declares.

"No – call Sawyer. He'll probably get me to the hospital quicker," Ana groans, clutching her chest.

Close to thirty minutes later, Ana is admitted to the hospital where they run a few tests on her.

Christian rushes back from Vancouver from a business meeting after getting the call from Sawyer. He arrives at the hospital close to two hours after his wife was admitted. Not getting any clear answers from the medical staff, he locates his wife's room and enters. Frantic, he scans the area until his eyes land on his wife's.

"Ana!" he says with terrified gray eyes. He immediately rushes to her bedside and sits on the edge, taking her by the hand. Ana's expression is blank.
"What's wrong, baby?" he says, fearing the worse.

"Well, I was having severe chest pains that gradually got worse. So Hannah had Sawyer bring me here. I thought it was a heart attack. Come to find out, it's just really bad heartburn," she says, eventually smiling in the end. Christian breathes a major sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank God," he exhales, kissing her multiple times on the forehead.
"And in about seven months or so, someone will have to answer to putting their mommy through all of that pain," Ana says with a conspiratorial grin. Christian gapes at her.

"You're – pregnant?" he breathes in awe. She beams at him and nods.
"I'm doubly pregnant," she beams even wider. His heart stops beating.
"Twins?" he gasps, with his eyes as round as saucers. She warmly nods again.

"Holy shit. Four kids, huh?" Christian grins, still stunned. Ana nods shyly. After digesting the big news, he holds his wife tightly in his arms and pecks her lovingly on the lips.
"You have so much love to give, Mrs. Grey. Even enough for twins," he says, mesmerized by her.
"And so do you, Christian," she adds with the same love and praise.
"So, when can I take my wife home?" he asks.
"As soon as the doctor releases me," she responds with a broad smile.

….

One week later, Dr. Sarah Carlson who's in a white knee-high skirt, high heels and a springy yellow blouse locks up her office past seven o'clock in the evening. It's late spring, so the sun still shines as she approaches her car in the private parking lot.

"Very masterful plan you had in motion," a male voice calls out of nowhere, startling Sarah. She turns away from her car and faces the owner of the voice. It's Christian Grey in a dark suit. She practically leaps, in shock.

"Getting into women's heads, especially those who were associated with me – including my very own wife. You thought you could ride in on white horse and become this advocate for women. However, we both know that deep down, you enjoy having a ball gag shoved in your mouth and a large cock up your ass. Isn't that still true, Sarah Carlson? Or should I say Lisa Kimble?" Christian smirks at her.

Suddenly, the appearance of fear on Dr. Carlson's face fades away and a sadistic smirk takes shape.

"I prefer to be called 'Number Three', Mr. Grey. I was number three in the playroom, wasn't I?" she murmurs, goading him. He gives her a look that eclipses disgusted.
"Ana's too good for you! She'll eventually see you for who you truly are: A royal piece of shit!" she spits at him.

"Oh, by the way, I just purchased your practice from the bank. You have two days to clear out all of your shit," Christian announces with no trace of humor in sight. Dr. Carlson is crestfallen.
"How could you!" she shouts at him.

"I also have your true identity documented as well. Unless you want that popular magazine catching wind of whom their star psychologist truly is – you'll need to get the fuck out of Seattle right away. Go play with someone else, Lisa. I am done with you. I was done with you nine years ago," Christian growls at her. The doctor is beside herself and is frozen solid in place.

Christian departs from her presence and enters a waiting black Audi SUV, riding off into the sunset.

A/N: Faithful Readers - So what did you think about the ending? By the way, I scattered hints about Lisa Kimble in chapter 15. Did anyone pick up on that? :D

I'm going to wait a day or two to mark this story as complete. However, I truly want to end things here without an epilogue. Christian has rode off into the sunset with his wife and soon-to-be four children. There's no better way to write a happy ending!

Thanks everyone for sticking with me. I told you that I was taking you all somewhere. ;) I hope you enjoyed the ride – the good, the bad and the ugly. Hey, we finally got our HEA!

Please review chapter 30. Much love! – ST2