Sometimes Levi would rather break his leg all over again than deal with Hange, Erwin, and Petra. Other times . . . well, sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

Last chapter for tonight! I hope you all have enjoyed these last three chapters, and I'll be adding more soon!

"Pants off, Levi."

Levi sighed in annoyance but stood, unbuckling his belt. "We just did this."

"Last week, yes," Hange agreed as she opened her first aid kit. "All the way off, Levi – I can't see how your leg is healing if you're wearing clothes."

"If anyone walks in on us we'll be in a compromising position," he grumbled, stepping out of his trousers and folding them neatly before laying them on the table.

"Everyone already thinks we're screwing, so it won't matter," Hange said, not looking up from her clipboard. "Hop up on the table – do you need a step-stool?"

"Hilarious," he snapped in annoyance, sliding onto the table. Hange grinned and put her clipboard down, lifting his ankle and examining it gently.

"Well, the swelling is up again," she frowned. "I told you to stay off it until the swelling was completely gone."

"Tch. Must have slipped my mind – ack!"

"Still tender to the touch," Hange said innocently, scribbling on her clipboard.

"That wasn't a touch, shitface, you pinched me."

"The swelling in your knee, however, is almost completely gone," Hange said, pressing on the back of his knee gently and nodding approvingly when his reflexes reacted normally. "That's very good news. Are you doing your exercises when you wake up and before you go to bed?"

"Of course, right after I finish my evening ballet routines."

"Joke all you want, Levi," Hange replied, returning to her clipboard again. "If you don't put forth some effort to heal, you won't. It's that simple. It's why your wrist never healed properly when you broke it a few years ago."

"My wrist is fine."

"Sure, that's why you pour your tea with your left hand now," Hange retorted, and Levi was to argue but, as always, she was right.

"Hips?" she asked, but Levi was still trying to think of a comeback for the tea thing. She snapped her finger in front of his face and he glared. "Hips?" she repeated forcefully.

"They're fine!" he snapped.

"That would be a lie," Erwin said as he entered the room. Levi huffed. "He's been limping since yesterday morning."

"I thought as much," Hange nodded, writing that down as well. "Ah-ah! Levi, keep the pants off! I still have to wrap your knee and ankle!"

"Fuck both of you, I have a training session," Levi said, unfolding his pants.

"I gave it to Petra," Erwin said, snatching Levi's pants from his hands and tossing them onto the counter behind Hange. Levi glared at his Commander, wondering how many different ways he could make his death look like an unfortunate accident.

"Those brats aren't going to listen to Petra," he argued.

"As a matter of fact, they're reacting brilliantly to her," Erwin said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. It was a look of relaxation, but Levi knew he was just blocking an escape exit. "Especially the girls."

"Well then they're idiots. And you're idiots. Give me my pants."

"Sit still or I'll have to sedate you," Hange sang, and Levi had a flashback to getting a tranquilizer dart in the ass last time he didn't show up for a checkup. Crazy bitch.

"My leg is fine," Levi sighed, trying to sound reasonable. "Really. The help is appreciated but unnecessary. It looks worse than it is and – ahh." He let out a relieved, relaxed breath as Hange suddenly smeared an odd smelling salve on his ankle. "What – what's that?"

She looked smug. "Just a little numbing agent I made from some of the indigenous plants I found growing outside the castle. But if your leg is fine I suppose you won't be needing any . . ."

"Well, maybe a bit more, then."

Hange's smug look grew even smugger as she gently massaged it into his ankle. She moved to his knee and Levi felt better than he had in months. He closed his eyes and let Erwin and Hange continue talking as he enjoyed the sensation of numbness.

"Looks like someone is feeling better!" Petra exclaimed, and Levi's eyes snapped open.

"Pants!" he snapped at Hange, and Petra waved her hand dismissively.

"It's okay, Sarge," she assured him. "I have four little brothers. Nothing I haven't seen before! I'm glad you're feeling better. I just came by to check up on you and bring you some tea." She set the steaming cup on the table beside him.

"Might as well invite the entire Regiment in to see me without my trousers," Levi grumped snarkily, laying back on the table as Hange began to tightly wrap his ankle while it was still numb. "Should we send a message to the inner walls and invite them, too? Wouldn't want anyone to be left out."

"That's funny, Sarge," Petra laughed. "Your trainees are doing well, but I think they miss you. They all want to know when you'll be back."

"Tomorrow," he said.

"Next week," Erwin corrected.

"Next month," Hange insisted.

Petra smiled. "I'll just tell them soon. I'd better get back. Bye!"

She left, and Erwin gave Levi a look.

"Fuck off with that look, Erwin," Levi grumbled.

"I don't get it. There is a perfectly wonderful, beautiful, young woman who is obviously interested in you and you just completely ignore it. You're not getting any younger, Levi."

"I'm fucking Hange."

"Oh, don't start that again."

"He's got a point, Levi," Hange agreed as she finished bandaging his ankle and moved to his knee. "Petra likes you. If you won't peruse Eren or Erwin, Petra is your best bet."

"For the love of Sina, what are you talking about Eren?" Erwin demanded.

"Nothing," Levi snapped. "Hange is a shit."

"Well, either way, I'm not sleeping with you," Erwin said, crossing his arms. "You should talk to Petra."

"Drop it," Levi said dangerously.

"Do you want some of this salve for your wrist?" Hange asked, scooping some of it into a jar and screwing a lid on. "Word of advice – don't ingest it."

Levi narrowed his eyes.

"Just in case," Hange said innocently. "You can put your pants back on."

"About damn time," he said, grabbing his pants and pulling them up. "Are we done here?"

"Sure," Hange shrugged. "Take that salve and apply it before bed. Sleep without your foot wrapped and come back here in the morning for me to re-wrap it. Drink plenty of fluids and try and stay off that leg – I gave you a crutch, and I'd better start seeing you use it."

"Do as Hange said," Erwin said. "That's an order, Levi."

"Drink your tea and get out of here," Hange said. "Dinner, Erwin?"

"I'm starving."

The two left, and Levi glared at them as they left. As he sipped the tea, though, he had to admit. They were titan-sized pains in the ass, but they took care of them. He smirked to himself and quietly thanked whoever was listening for his friends.