So, I have rekindled my Tokka flame, and decided to try my hand at a fic for the two of them. Reviews are more than welcome.

Title: i'm a mess (searching for a sweet surrender).

Summary: He comes because he needs her. This is a proven fact; that Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe completely and utterly needs Toph Beifong of the Earth Kingdom. So, when he knocks on her door, she isn't entirely surprised. [Tokka, of sorts. Set after the war.]

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. No character is my own.

WARNING: This fic is loosely based on Ed Sheeran's song I'm A Mess. The title is taken from the song. It starts sometime after the war and goes on from there. In the beginning Sokka is around 20-21 and Toph is 17-18. POVs switch from Sokka's to Toph.

i'm a mess (searching for a sweet surrender).

by clarabella wandering.

"And oh, I've known it for the longest time.
All of my hopes; all of my own words,
are all over, written on the signs.
But you're on my road,
walking me home."
~Ed Sheeran, I'm A Mess.

He comes because he needs her.

This is a proven fact; that Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe completely and utterly needs Toph Beifong of the Earth Kingdom.

So, when he knocks on her door -four quick strikes- she isn't entirely surprised. "Hey." He says. They haven't seen each other in a year; since his twentieth birthday, but he greets her like they saw each other yesterday.

She likes it. "What is it now? Kataang cooties?"

"... why didn't I think of that nickname?"

She shrugs, "You're not as talented as you think."

He gives her a dry laugh. His nerves are all over the place, the way one is when they're dealing with harsh news. Toph tilts her head in his general direction. "What ails you? I don't got all day, my students come back after lunch."

She creates a stone seat for her back, and does the same for him. His lips twitch, but a smile doesn't form. "I just got dumped." He says. His bluntness makes it clear that he isn't looking for advice; he just wants company.

Toph has always been good at company.

Her silence greets him with open arms. "I went to visit the Kyoshi Warriors. Ty Lee met me. I knew something was up immediately, because she asked if I wanted to go get some rice cakes afterwards. None of the warriors were looking at me. I just..." He sighs. "Five years, Toph. I proposed on year three. She said she needed time. I proposed on year four, and she just shook her head. More growing, or something. But I never thought she'd-"

The blind girl felt him reach for her hand. It was a gesture he didn't even think about anymore. Toph kept her reactions minimal. It wasn't time to be thinking of a petty crush; not when a real friend needed her. "I'm such a mess, Toph. Inside and out. I don't know what to do; lately things have been going so bad, and... you're the first person that came to mind when I asked myself who the steadiest person in my life was."

"Touched," She responds, her hand tightening around his.

"You're my best friend." He says. He's telling the truth.

Toph has always known this, only nodding in agreement. "I was invited to a party," she begins. "I wasn't going to go, because I didn't have a date. But you seem to be in need of a distraction. Feel like dancing?"

There's a silence. Sokka's nerves spike before coming to a slow and steady rest. Toph smirks to herself. "Of course. Got any spare party clothes?"

Her laughter is loud. "Duh."

She cancels class for him, and it's the most natural thing in the world.

.
. .

Her servants dress her in the fancy clothes that rests easily against her skin. She's never hated this type of clothing; she's just hated being forced to wear them. They fix her hair and murmur about how beautiful it is ("It's the prettiest thing you own. Your whole face is precious, Miss."), and Toph allows them. She can't see herself, but the complements help her to envision someone that isn't entirely ugly.

When she steps out into the courtyard, where Sokka is to meet her, she's alone. He isn't outside yet, but Toph is glad. Composing herself is harder when she can't see herself. Deep breaths prepare her for whatever might happen. A heartbroken boy and a heartbroken girl do not make the best team, so Toph makes it her duty to sew shut the wound in her heart. If one should have the chance to properly heal, it's Sokka.

She feels him before she hears him. He walks towards her quietly, as if to scare her, but she spins around, morphing the space rock he gave her all those years ago into a small knife and dancing on the tiles (even though she can't dance, not really) until she's pulled him down, her breath hot against his ear and the knife touching his neck.

"Boo." She says, whispering. She can feel the hitch in his throat, ignoring the way his hormones spike as she releases him. "When will you learn? You can't sneak up on me."

He rubs his neck (she can't see this, but it makes him feel better). "One day. One day, I will."

"Or, I'll sneak up on you like never before."

"It's on, Beifong."

He hooks her arm on his, and they walk the rest of the way in silence. His heart is still tattered and his smile doesn't come easy, but it doesn't seem like the end anymore.

They arrive in record time, Toph hauling him down alleyways when the crowds get a little too thick for her. The silence is companionable. As they approach the entrance, Toph speaks. "Try and be civil. Follow my lead, and you'll be fine."

"I'm civil," Sokka protests, but even as he says it Toph can sense his hopelessness.

"Not in the way you need to be tonight. I need class. I need snooty and rich. As long as you follow my lead, you'll be okay."

She can't see his face, but she can feel the look he gives her, the heat that rushes to his cheeks.

She expertly ignores this.

.
. .

"Please, Toph." He says. The puppy dog face he's pulling is dangerously cute, but a fruitless tactic, considering the girl he's attempting to persuade can't see.

"Do you want me to bury you six feet under?"

"We took down Fire Nation ships, I'm pretty sure we can at least dance." He really does want to dance, but Toph is unyielding.

"Ask someone else," she chokes out. An eighteen year old girl, commanding the man she's loved since the age of twelve, to ask someone else. Funny.

His answer is immediate: "But I want you."

She greets him with silence.

A moment after this, Sokka seems to realize his mistake. His face goes bright red and he lets out a stuttered, "T-that came out... it, it came out... w-wrong. I just meant, you know, that, as my best friend, I'd feel more comfortable dancing with you. Not because you're. Beautiful. Or whatever. Just because we're two friends who get along and I just want to dance and-"

She pulls him forward, until she can feel his breath against the ridge of her nose. "I can't dance. Now stop it. Ask someone else. People are staring." She pushes away what he called her. Beautiful.

Eighteen years.

She's never been called beautiful.

He's been silent for a long time, but finally says, "I'm ready to go."

Toph's eyebrows raise, but she stands. He holds an arm out for her, and she accepts. "Why so suddenly?" After the goodbyes are said, the outside air meets them with freedom. It reminders her of Aang. She hasn't seen Twinkle Toes in a long time. Toph clears her throat.

"I'm going to teach you how to dance." His tone is final; like when he led them into battle a long, long time ago. She loves it when he talks like that, but not in this case.

"Sokka, no." Her voice is firm as well. "I don't dance."

"You should." Sokka's voice is quieter now. He doesn't explain why. Toph doesn't really want to know. "Please. For me. You never got me anything for my birthday."

"I thought my presence would be enough."

He chuckles; and it occurs to Toph that she isn't being a very good friend. Sokka's just been dumped, and here she is, saying no to something as innocent as dancing, even though it'll make him happy.

The wind wisps by, bringing a chill, and she tenses. An earthbender never shows weakness, but Toph has never liked the cold. Sokka knows this. He takes off the coat he had and drapes it over her, hugging her close to him. She wants to pull away, but decides that, just for tonight, Toph will surrender to her sweetest weakness.

Many, many years later, she takes this to be a crucial mistake.

.
. .

A month later, Toph leaves the school in the trust of one of her best pupils and heads off with Sokka to the Fire Nation. He had stayed with her the entire month, sometimes helping out with things, but most of the time sitting by the cherry blossom tree she couldn't see but took care of anyway (she was told it was a beautiful tree. She didn't believe it) and staring at the sky with intensity.

Even a blind person could see he still loved Suki.

"So," she says, after the school is closed and they have set foot on a boat, bags on their back and wind in their face, "I heard those Fire Folk can dance. Think they could teach me?"

His grin is visible even to her. "Us Water Tribe folk do a pretty decent job too, y'know."

"Oh, I'm sure." They walk together to what she makes to be the front of the ship, his arm around her in a totally platonic way. The waves splash and she can hear a strange chirping sound. "Is that... Momo?"

Sokka laughs, "No. They're dolphins. They're beautiful, Toph."

She is silent, but so is he. They stand there, her unusually patient and him unusually peaceful.

It's nice.

Toph wishes it wasn't.

.
. .

When they arrive, two weeks later, Toph kisses the ground and collapses upon the dirt, Sokka chuckling. She doesn't stand until a shadow falls over her face.

"Zuko!" Her voice is an echo of how it sounded when she first met him. She hops up, cracking her back.

"Toph." She feels him bow to her, so she does the same.

Then, she punches him on the arm. Zuko sighs. "Just because that's how you show affection doesn't mean I have to like it." They laugh.

Toph senses a flair of jealousy from who she registers as Sokka. She doesn't understand why he's jealous, but even Zuko can tell he is as Sokka marches up to them and demands, "Hello! What about me?"

"Um, what about you?" Zuko asks. He stares at Sokka with a completely serious face before slowly melting into a smile. "Sokka." He says.

"Zuko!" Sokka hugs him. They walk back to the palace together, each swapping stories. When they finally arrive at the palace, Sokka offers to take Toph's luggage to her room. "We're right next to each other, so it isn't out of my way."

"Thanks, Sokka, but I can-"

"-totally let you take them." Zuko interrupts. Toph gives his general direction a look. However, she says nothing. Sokka runs off, tripping only once (a record, really), before disappearing down the corridor.

"Well?" Toph asks the Fire Lord. He rubs his neck.

"You're going through the motions." He says. Toph doesn't understand, and rightly so. Zuko clarifies. "Of a couple. I thought he was dating Suki?"

"She dumped him, and, no, we're not. I'm just trying to help him move on." Toph huffs, "Like a friend is supposed to."

Zuko shakes his head. "This is more than that. You two have always been physical, but it's different somehow. He's looking at you different. He's..."

Toph stomps, raising the rock until she's about Zuko's height. "He's what, Sparky?"

"... he's checking you out."

Abruptly, Toph lets go of the firebender. She's thrown off by this, but keeps her expression shuttered. "Yeah, well, I'm a big girl, Zuko. I've been asked out by guys and told I was eye candy before."

Zuko sighs, "But all those guys walked away with a black eye."

"Ran away. And, I'm sure Sokka was just watching out for me. To him I'm still a twelve year old girl that's overly confident." She begins to walk away, "Stop worrying. You're like an overprotective brother."

"That's because I am." Zuko calls back.

He doesn't see her blush, but he knows she must have.

.
. .

They take to the courtyard every evening for weeks. Sokka is, in all honesty, a better dancer than she originally thought. She feels how he dances across the tiles, the grace in his steps impressive.

"I learned at the Northern Water Tribe. Believe it or not, training with the sword helped." He explains to her during her second lesson.

Toph is not as graceful. She has always been a stubborn spirit; unbending and unmoving. It isn't in her nature to be light. She's thankful that dancing isn't as light as airbending. There's no way she could move like Aang. It's not quite like water bending either. When Katara moved, it was light, but shifty.

Dancing, to Toph, is like firebending without the flames.

And she is miserably bad at it.

"Loosen up!" Sokka orders her, every two seconds. When she's overly tense, he even gives her a light poke or smack. On the arm, or leg. Stomach or even neck. "Toph, you have to trust your partner. Loosen up and go with the flow."

She does her best to obey (an earthbender never gives up), but even as she goes through the motions she can't work it out. "How?" She asks.

Sokka breathes out. "You have to surrender. To whoever your partner is. In this case, it's me. Surrender and trust me. Go through the motions with me. You have to be completely unafraid of being blind. Give into that and you'll find grace. You'll be light."

"I can't surrender. I don't know how."

He regards her thoughtfully, realizing his choice of words must be a little off. "Think of it as a sweet surrender." Sokka begins, sitting next to her on the ground. "You've been searching for so long, been a mess from trying to do everything yourself, and here comes this person who wants to completely and utterly share the load. And so you surrender. You're not losing anything but your own weight. And everyone likes losing weight."

Toph nods, quiet for a second.

"Toph?" Sokka asks. She feels him stand.

"Let's do this." She grins, reaching for him. The lone violinist they got to play for them begins some sort of sweet tune. Sokka's arm goes to the space right below her armpit, and he begins to move. Toph holds her breath. The steps she takes are rough and uncut, and she doesn't ever think she'll be graceful, until she hears a sound.

It's steady and even and strong.

It's a heartbeat.

It's Sokka's, and Toph tunes in on it. She focusses on that until she can't see anything else, gliding through the steps Sokka taught her with a newly discovered ease. She can feel his grin, hears the music speed up into a newer, faster tune, but the heartbeat of her best friend overpowers it all. It's intoxicating, and Toph loves it.

Somewhere along the way, they get closer to each other until their bodies are almost touching, and Sokka's hand has lowered itself to her waist. The fire in her heart allows her dance with a passion she only feels when earthbending. She glides with Sokka, until the song begins to slow again and he dips her, her hair (which has come loose) touching the floor. She comes to her senses, and using the foot that's still planted on the ground, realizes that Sokka is leaning towards her lips.

The flames inside their eyes are bright, and Toph is going to let him kiss her -she wants his love so, so badly- when the violin stops abruptly and Zuko's voice is heard.

"Dinner." He says, in a ferocious tone. Sokka helps Toph stand and watches the Fire Lord walk away.

"Toph," Sokka begins, "I-"

She gives him a small smile. The heat between them burns her. "Time for dinner, Sokka."

Slowly, he nods.

Dancing is not, apparently, flame-free after all.

.
. .

The sheet hits her disk with a dull thud, the air expectant. "What is this, Sokka?" She asks him, her eyes unseeing as they stare straight ahead.

"C'mon, Toph, can't you see-" he cuts himself off, abruptly realizing the obvious.

Toph, despite reputation, shows mercy. She stays silent. "It's a flier for a dance." Sokka says. "We should go. Put the practice to use."

A small smile graces her lips, "When is it?"

"Tonight. One last dance before we go out separate ways?" His voice, deep and strong (the deep is new; the strong has always been there), does not return the mercy she had shown earlier.

The answer is clear before she speaks it, "I'll go get prettied up, then."

If it hadn't been for the fact that her being blind caused all other senses to be heightened, Toph wouldn't have heard Sokka's answer.

"You don't need to."

A blush dusts her cheeks and she can't help wondering what she's getting into.

.
. .

She dresses in the latest fashion in Fire Nation party clothes. A gold crop top, a red skirt that has a dragon running along it. Her hair is loose, clipped away from her face, eyes alluring. The skirt is long enough that it covers her feet, and so she goes barefoot.

The maids tell her she looks beautiful, before going hush. "Leave us," Zuko says to them, and they obey. He doesn't say anything for a while. When he does, it's a hushed murmur. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." Toph says, tightly.

"You've grown so much." Zuko rubs his face, a headache forming. "Since I accidentally burned your feet all those years ago."

"Yeah, you still haven't been forgiven."

He chuckles.

"I'm not the only one that's noticed this, you know." The Fire Lord glances at her. She knows. "I hope you know what you're getting into, Toph. Sokka's a good man, but I have a feeling this isn't going to end well for you."

She snaps, preparing to raise hell as she turns. "What's that supposed to mean?" Toph growls.

To her surprise, Zuko doesn't go on the defensive. "You know what it means. I don't think your destinies are aligned."

"Don't talk to me about destiny. You're no Avatar."

"But I am related to one."

She steps towards him, room rumbling in her anger. She's grown in power, too, since the Fire Lord burned her. "Do not test me, Zuko."

He puts his hands up, "I'm here for when you need me, Toph."

She greets him with silence, stalking out.

.
. .

The blush that greets her when Sokka lays eyes on her makes her happy. Zuko's words are immediately forgotten as Sokka places an arm around Toph's shoulders. They walk to the party in silence, watching firebenders burst into flames and animals juggle.

The place where the dance is held has a giant fountain in the center, a dragon spiraling upwards before spewing water into the air.

There's a band in the corner playing dreary, slow-place tunes, and nobody is dancing. Most of the men are stuffing their faces. The woman look unsure of themselves.

"Geez," Toph begins, "These people are so boring, and I can't even see!"

Sokka nods, his arm tight around her shoulders, "Tell me about it." He releases her, "Gimme a minute." She nods, and he leaves her. She's alone for about two minutes before she feels a stranger stand before her.

"Hi," he begins. "I'm Kanto."

She's silent for a minute, taking him in. There's an honesty about him, but also a certain edge; recklessness. A lot of it. Toph likes this. "Toph." She extends a hand in his general direction, and he shakes it.

"Like the famous earthbender?" Kanto asks, and Toph smiles, nodding.

"You're alone." She says it like a statement.

"I am." Kanto acknowledges. "Just got in. I'm from Omashu. You're earth kingdom too, right?"

Toph grins, "And proud."

He chuckles, "So, um, Toph. Do you... y'know... wanna dance?" He's so unsure of himself, and it's so endearing, that Toph is about to say yes. She likes him.

And then.

Toph senses him.

If she could see Sokka, she would see how handsome he was; he'd gone from scrawny to well-built. His jaw was sharp and currently locked tensely, staring at her and Kanto with narrowed eyes. His arms were flexed, the muscle on them making girls look at him in appreciation. She can sense his jealousy, and it makes her glad.

She gives Kanto a sorry smile, "Some other time? I'm heading back to the earth kingdom tomorrow, but if you want to reach me, just ask for Toph Beifong."

She's walking away when his incredulity reaches her.

"Sokka," Toph says, grabbing his arm. Her fingers trail along his strong arms mercilessly. "What were you up to?"

He grins down at her, satisfied now that she's by his side. "Dance with me and find out."

Her eyebrows raise, but she nods, slow and steady. His firm hands clasp her waist and, with his help (Toph doesn't need his help, but when his hands touch hers the fire in her eyes makes it hard to pull away), puts her hands on his chest.

The music is slow, and very familiar. "What's it called?" Toph asks him. It's the same song with which she learned to dance.

"Flame Dance." Sokka answers. His head leans down and forward, swiftly meeting hers.

"How are you, Sokka?" Toph whispers to him. He knows the hidden question behind her words. He answers accordingly.

"She's been replaced." He murmurs back. "I think," Sokka breathes, "That before tonight I'll have fallen in love." The song is speeding up, and with only them dancing, it's easy to pretend they are the only ones around. They pull away, slow and steady, Toph listening to the way his heart does wild dances as he gazes at her. Their footsteps become more rapid as the song increases in speed, but they're always looking at each other, feeling for each other.

She goes completely blind as Sokka grabs her, "Put your faith in me," he says, and throws her in the air. She spins around, landing in a handstand, like the first earthbending form she'd ever learnt had gone. She springs up, faithfully awaiting Sokka, and there he is, as always, catching her in his arms to the beat of the music.

It's then that she realizes their hearts are beating to the same tempo.

When the music slows down, and he's got her leaning towards the ground, applause deafening, Sokka leans in, his cheeks bright red. Their foreheads touch before their lips.

"Toph?" Sokka says, moments before he kisses her.

She hums, eyes half closed, blind but to the heat of his skin.

"I'd like to kiss you."

She blushes, opening her eyes fully and raising a brow at him, "What are you waiting for?"

He laughs, then finishes the job. He kisses her softly, but firmly, and Toph kisses him back.

She surrenders.

.
. .

He walks her back with her hand in his, jovially pointing out and describing the beauty around him.

"But that's not the prettiest," he says to her.

She can tell where he's going with this, but allows it anyway, "And what is?"

Sokka kisses her cheek, "You. You, with your beautiful hair and pale skin and tiny nose and loud voice. You, with your green eyes and strong will. With your ever-present logic and wonderful sense of humor. You," Sokka breathes out, amazed, "Are beautiful."

Toph's mouth opens to say something sarcastic, but nothing comes out. Her eyes feel misty. She counts to ten to calm herself. An earthbender does not cry over being called beautiful. "Suck up," She finally chokes out.

He sees she's astonished, but doesn't call her out on it. Toph loves him for that.

Sokka opens the door to her bedroom and kisses her goodnight, closing the door behind him. Toph smiles as she falls onto the floor (a bed has never been her thing), staring at the ceiling. She has known for the longest time that all her hopes and words were inked on to his skin, and vice versa. She has also known that Sokka would always be there to walk her home.

It just never occurred to her that he was her home.

.
. .

Zuko knocks on her door just as she is finishing breakfast. It's obvious he knows by the way he walks.

"Sokka told you."

"In a matter of speaking." Zuko says, "He's waltzing around the palace whistling and singing your name to various showtunes."

Toph grins.

"Be careful, Toph."

Her grin fades, "I will. Can you please shut up about my destiny now?"

Zuko nods, face grim. "I'll miss you, and Sokka."

She stands, pulling him into a warm hug. "Likewise." She punches his arm.

He punches her back. Her laugh is loud.

.
. .

Zuko and Mai wave them off, Zuko smiling and Mai ever-poised. Sokka's hand is placed firmly around her waist, each carrying their bags and laughing.

They reach the port in good spirits, up until they call Toph's ship. "That's me," Toph states.

"We'll see each other soon. I just have to go see some friends." Sokka sighs, "I wish you could come."

"School to run," the blind girl says.

"I know, I know." He kisses her knuckles, "I'll miss you."

"I reeeeaaaally need to go," Toph says, but then softens up, lifting herself up with her earthbending to kiss his cheek. Her hands traced his cheeks. "I'll miss you, too." She kisses him, and it's the best thing she's ever done.

"Don't get any new boyfriends."

"Don't kiss any other girls." Toph retorts.

He chuckles, "Do we want to make this public?"

The second bell goes off, and, in a more hurried voice, Toph says, "Not yet. We'll wait a bit, okay?"

He nods.

"Bye, idiot." She says, kissing him again. With a lot of strength, Toph releases him and picks up her bags, walking towards her ship.

"Love you!" Sokka calls after her.

She misses him already.

Months later, she takes this into account and decides that maybe it's that that stopped her from seeing the fact that Sokka's body emits a strange sense; like when one is unsure.

If only she'd noticed it sooner.

"See the flames inside my eyes:
It burns so bright, I wanna feel your love.
Oh, oh, easy baby, maybe I'm a light;
Before tonight I wanna fall in love.
And put your faith in my stomach."
~Ed Sheeran, I'm A Mess.

This fic will be a three-shot, so expect that. The chapters are already written, so they'll be up within the next few weeks.

Also, sorry for spelling errors. I didn't proof read.

Reviews would be lovely!