Chapter One: A Man on the Brink

"Why would you take that power back?" Belle screamed, the shock of it still running through her system. "It's a curse, Rumple! It's called the Dark Curse for a reason! And after I just came back to you!"

"Technically it was before you came back to me," he pointed out. "And how much of a curse is it really if it makes me all-powerful and immortal? I keep Excalibur with me, and then there's no problem whatsoever with me taking on the curse again. I just become… well, practically a god."

Still raging, Belle reached out and slapped him before she could even catch herself. "You think you're a god at everything," she said in a voice choked by tears. "But you're not. What you are is a man who's on the brink of losing everything he says he holds dear. But I guess that's not true, is it? The gauntlet was right. The thing you love the most is your power, and that's never going to change."

Wheeling to leave the shop, Belle jerked away when he reached for her. "I love you more," he said sincerely. "I'm just trying to do what's right."

"You're trying to do what's right by you," Belle seethed, turning back towards him as she spoke.

"No. Belle," he implored. "I tried. I tried to be the good guy. But it didn't work. Maybe… Maybe there are no good guys. Maybe there are just human beings who find different ways for each of them to survive… and the curse is mine."

"No!" Belle yelled. "It isn't – it doesn't have to be. We could be enough for each other, if you'd just believe that!"

"I do."

Belle shook her head, a solitary tear slipping out as she realized that she'd fallen for all of this, all over again. "No, you don't. Otherwise you wouldn't have taken the curse back."

"I need it," he said helplessly.

"No, you don't!" Belle repeated. "You need something… but it isn't that curse. I thought maybe it was me… but now I don't think it is. I'm not enough for you – not ever."

"You are! I do need you, Belle."

"No, you've got to need at least something more than me, if you're ever going to be the good man that I know you can be." She stared at him in silence for a beat before demanding, "What do you think that something else could be?"

Rumple stared back at her for a second before requesting softly, "You're forgiveness?"

Belle snorted softly. She really didn't believe that the request was a sincere one; he was just good at saying what people wanted to hear. Well, she wasn't going to be taken in by it again, not this time. "Fine," she said dryly, "If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven." But both of them could tell that she wasn't sure she meant the words.

But she wasn't sure she didn't, either. Gods, but she hated this push and pull that was forever happening between them! All she had ever wanted for the two of them was to be able to be together, living a happy, quiet life… Instead they'd been thrown into a constant battle with villains and curses and demons that were both literal and internal.

"Belle, I'm going back to the underworld," Rumplestiltskin murmured suddenly.

Yeah... declarations like that were exactly why the two of them couldn't have a normal life.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded tiredly, the fight draining out of her.

"I'm going to the underworld with the Charmings, Emma, Henry, Robin, Regina… They're on a mission to bring Hook back, and they want me to come too. I, uh…" He shook his head, looking at her pitifully, timidly, like he was finally starting to see just how wrong he'd been – again – but this time there was genuine fear in his eyes as well as he said, "I don't know if we're all going to survive this."

He was talking about physically surviving, she knew, but after the conversation they were having, she muttered under her breath, "After everything we've done, do we even deserve to survive?"

And she, for one, was talking about her and Rumple's relationship. She wanted to be with him more than anything in the world – and that was the hardest part. Because by all accounts he wanted his power more than her… and that hurt more than she could describe.

Instead of voicing any of that, though – it didn't seem to be worth rehashing one more time – she asked, "You're going to hell?"

He nodded, his smile wry and painful as he commented, half meaning it, "I thought you might like the idea of me going there right now."

Belle shook her head on a sigh. She didn't want them to have to go their separate ways on a bad note, and she knew already if he was headed for the literal underworld, Rumple wouldn't want her to go with them. So she gave up their fight for now, walking over to give him a hug as she said tiredly, "I do love you, Rumple, and I know that you can be more of a man without your power than you ever will be with it. Just… Stay alive and be ready to fight. War is coming… it is the underworld, after all."

"I will," Rumple said, returning her hug with palpable relief in his voice. "I'll come back to you, if you'll have me," he muttered while his head was still propped up on her shoulder.

"I'll have you if you'll put me before your power, Rumple," she replied, trying to make the harsh words sound as loving as she really meant them. "That's all I've ever asked for."

He pulled away nodding, but she could already see the defeat in his eyes in the moment before he left the shop. Once he was gone, Belle leaned against a display case and started to cry all over again. Why couldn't he just be the man she knew he was capable of being?