Chapter 3: Ah hell naw

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy and its characters

Warning: Language

Cloud Strife has gone through a lot, been bullied when he was a kid, hometown burned to the ground courtesy of his childhood idol the great General Sephiroth, been submerged in a tank full of mako for five years alongside with his now deceased bestfriend Zack Fair, had his memories jumbled up that made his feeling confused for the two ladies in his rebel group, handed the black materia to Sephiroth that caused the almost doom of the world, defeated the said madman and so forth, but he'd rather repeat all of that compare to the upcoming crisis that he has to face three days from now.

Tifa slammed her glass of orange juice on the counter top causing him to wince and back away a little, looking around for something to protect himself with.

"What do you mean you can't go to parents' day?!" Tifa held her hands to her hips with a scowl on her beautiful face. Cloud was still looking around.

"You know how I feel about crowds and lots of people and-" But his wife started walking towards him. Quite fast too.

"OH! oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!" She said while pointing her forefinger at him as she stride towards him while he back away further as she went. "So a couple of nights ago you're willing to walk around here in your underwear-"

"Speedo." He interjected while still backing away.

"-and dance around like a maniac and you can't even go to your children's parents' day?!" She backed him now against the wall, her face only a few inches on his face. She was struggling to keep herself together and wanted to laugh at the look on his face.

"I didn't have a choice! Those guys were rubbing their junks on your faces!" He held up his hand while looking away from her like she was going to suck his soul and spit it out with no mercy.

"It was a bridal shower! And it was just for fun! That's not even the point STRIFE!" He grimaced at the last word. He slowly put down his hands to his side then held her waist and pulled her closer. He knows she couldn't resist that gesture.

"How about I make it up to you by making you scream right now?" He whispered seductively before a loud smack was heard.

"What the hell were you thinkin' Chocobo brain?" Barret said then guffawed as the blond hero rubbed his swollen cheek. They were having drinks at the Playpen.

"Why can't you just go to that goddamn parent's day and get it over with!" Cid gestured to Cloud while the blond glared at him.

"You wouldn't understand. The last time I was at their school to pick them up, the mothers surrounded me and started squeeling like school girls." He smacked his forehead on the bar top causing Cid to laugh loud, his cigarette falling of his mouth.

"They wouldn't do that if Tifa was with ya, they know they will lose their noses if they try somethin'." Barret said as he took a swig at his beer. Then he looked past Cloud to see a group of girls eyeing the blond while all whispering to each other. He patted Cloud at the back causing him look up with a perflexed look on his face making Cid and Barret snort.

"Head's up spikey, code red. Girls approachin'." He pointed straight ahead but Cloud didn't even bother to look up.

"Ummm excuse me-"

"NO." The blond said firmly before standing up and started to leave causing both men to laugh hysterically.

He paced in their bedroom then sat down, placed his interlocked fingers on his mouth while looked ahead, his eye intense as he stared at the door like Sephiroth was going to appear any minute and was ready to clobber him. He sighed then nodded his head, stood up then went towards to door.

"Teef-" Two screaming kids suddenly charged at him making him back away. Denzel and Marlene were sitting at the dining table eating their breakfast, both watching the blonde with their almost laughing expression.

"MUMMY SAID YOU'RE COMING TO OUR PARENTS' DAY DADDY!" Simoned piped rather loudly earning a grimace from her father.

"I uhh-"

"You are coming right?!" Pierre interjected making him laugh nervously. He looked at Tifa and his eyes widened at her death glare.

"Fin- Yeah, I'm going..." He said. He sighed in defeat.

"YEY!" Both kids jumped in happiness, Simone started clinging on both his legs preventing escape then he didn't notice Pierre going over the bar top on his back then jumped and clung unto his neck from behind causing him to choke while his son screamed in his ear.

"Pierre! That was dangerous!" Tifa yelled as she strided towards her son to pull him away. "Get down now!" But her son didn't listen, instead, she pulled him away repeatedly while Pierre was still clutched to his father's back, his arms around his neck, and Cloud was already coughing hysterically while she did so. And she enjoyed it, she was mad at her son for doing something dangerous but she was laughing on the inside like a winner. Marlene and Denzel were clutching their stomachs for laughing too much.

You deserve that chocobo head! She thought smugly.

Cloud dusted his black slacks and dark blue dress shirt as he waited for Tifa and the twins to go downstairs. He sat at the stool on the bar and sighed. He rested his cheek on his hand and groaned when he heard footstep coming down the stairs.

"Daddy! We're ready!" Simone twirled around in her pretty yellow dress that made Cloud smile.

"You look pretty baby." He smiled sweetly when Pierre emerged this time. He was wearing a grey button up shirt that brought out his intense blue eyes along with some khaki pants. "Well, look at you. Looking really handsome." Cloud said while he ruffled his son's hair. Pierre laughed. It was Tifa's turn to appear and his jaw dropped at the sight of his wife. She was wearing a teal dress and light brown flats, she looked so beautiful, it was rare for her to wear dresses so he was not used to seeing her like that. He was imagining himself ripping that skirt in their bed and-

Okay, enough Strife! He thought and mentally punched himself in the gut to calm that bulge hidden in his pants.

Tifa was checking everything in her purse, making sure she had her phone, the keys, some wet wipes and other things.

"Okay, ready?" She asked her husband who was staring dumbly at her. Her breath hitched when she saw him, he was hot, so hot. And she had a feeling that it was going to be a problem. She licked her lips at the sight of him, she will definitely show him later how much she appreciated his looks. Oh yes, she will. She cleared her throat at her dirty thoughts. "Come on Strifes, time to go!" She clung unto him and dragged him towards the door while the twins followed from behind, giggling. He looked behind him to see Marlene and Denzel also following behind, the older girl wearing a pink dress and her hair was down and curly, while Denzel was wearing a black button up shirt and some brown pants. He couldn't help but smile smuggly, suddenly realizing how beautiful his family really is.

He groaned as he parked their car at the school parking lot, a lot of people were already coming in and he sneered at the sight.

"Okay everyone, it's time to go, let's go let's go!" Tifa went out first to unclutch Pierre's seatbelt in his car seat while Marlene did Simone's. Denzel was already out. Cloud went out last and glared at everyone making Tifa laugh quietly. Denzel covered his mouth to prevent his laugh while Marlene giggled. The twins clutched both his hands and he softened at the touch.

"Come on daddy! I want you to meet my friends!" Simone tugged his hand.

"Hi Denzel!" They all looked around to see giggling girls at Denzel's age waving at him. Denzel waved back and winked causing them to giggle more. Cloud and Tifa looked at each other while Marlene scoffed, making them shift their stare at her instead and she cleared her throat. Then they turned back to Denzel who was oblivious to what has happened.

"What?" He asked. When they didn't answer he shrugged his shoulders then fished out his Phone.

"Remind me to have a talk wih these two." Cloud whispered to his wife.

"Not now, let's just see first, we wouldn't want any awkward situation for them." She whispered.

"Right." Cloud paused. "It is just me or Denzel is becoming such a player?" They looked at each other then turned their gaze back at their adopted son who was waving his hands again to another set of giggling girls making them both wince. "I better start talking to him about sex, condoms and masterbation." He whispered to his wife with all seriousness on his face. Tifa stared at him in absolute horror.

"We'll see you in an hour?" Denzel asked his adoptive parents as he held Marlene in her shoulder.

"Yeah, see you later okay? I'll call you." Tifa said as they went separate ways for a while. They first wnet over to the twins' class. People were already staring at them from the moment they walked towards the building, women were giving Tifa death stares which she ignored, instead, she pissed them off further as she intertwined their fingers. It was the same with the men, they were giving him death stares but he thought that they were all idiots, that's the last thing they needed to do.

"I told you I didn't wanna go." Cloud whispered to her ear and she sighed.

"It's fine, that happens all the time wherever you go. You need to be here honey, I'm sorry okay?" She leaned closer. "I'll give you a nice reward later baby." She whispered against his ear reviving the long forgotten hardness down below.

"Y-Yeah?" He stammered suddenly causing Tifa to laugh. He cleared his throat.

Damn this woman.

"I'll make you pay for laughing at me Mrs. Strife." He told her in a low voice and husky voice sending shivers down her spine up to her lower region. She bit her lip.

"H-how?" It was her turn to stammer, Cloud gave her a laugh, a seductive laugh. She swallowed.

"I'm gonna make you do some backflips in delight as I eat your-"

"Daddy! Hurry!" He was interrupted when the twins suddenly pulled him away from his wife who was staring at him with wide eyes.

"What on Gaia..." She said to herself. Got to learn that self control. Down girl! Were at school and we were talking about something so dirty! She shook her head at her thoughts and followed her family.

"Hello! We're the Strifes." Tifa said to the teacher as soon as she opened the door of the classroom, everyone went eerily quiet at Tifa's annoucement. Cloud rubbed his face in annoyance.

"Oh my..." The teacher put her hands on her chest. "Yes, yes, welcome Mr. and Mrs. Strife, please come in!" TIfa and the kids happily did so and while Cloud walked slowly and hesitantly. He could already feel some eyes burning holes in his head. They all took a seat while everyone followed them with their eyes.

"It's a pleasure to have you here Mr. and Mrs. Strife, Oh my goodness, I'm such a big fan of AVALANCHE, I would like to thank you for saving all of us-" The teacher went on on her ramblings and Cloud stopped listening to her after a while. He was staring blankly ahead while TIfa nodded her head occasionally as she listened to the still talking teacher who looked like she wasn't going to stop soon. "-my kids wouldn't believe me when I told them that your kids are actually my students." She laughed in an annoying manner and was starting to irritate Tifa as well.

"That's great Ma'am, thank you." Tifa smiled sweetly hoping that it will stop her tirade.

"So I was saying when you-" Tifa and Cloud groaned inwardly. This will be a long day.

In the end, there was no parents' day that happened in that class, everyone was just talking about AVALANCHE and Sephiroth and meteor and a single mother opened up about Cloud's sexiness not even bothering to stop her charade about his "tight ass" for the sake of her kid, or the kids for that matter. Cloud face palmed and slowly looked at his wife at his side who was sporting a sweet smile but he can see the rage in her eyes.

"That was... uneventful." Coud said quietly as they made their way towards Denzel's class then later Marlene's. Everyone was still staring and some were even wiggling their brows at him. It was a good thing that his wife was with him and the women's husbands are with them, thus preventing another gang of squeeling fan girls, or squeeling women who were acting like girls. Tifa sighed.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't know that was going to happen." She said sadly then he put his arms around her shoulder and kissed her cheek, earning more death stares for her.

"Nah, it's not your fault, beside, I get to have my reward later." He wiggled his eyebrows. "What is it anyway?" He stared at her eyes seductively. Tifa didn't respond but instead, she pushed her tongue on the inside of her cheek three times showing a small bulge on the outside. He stared at her in confusion then she started walking away, then it dawned to him and his eyes widened.

Good God.

He had to adjust the front of his pants in a secluded corner once again.