Well. This was it.

Ashley West looked around her new living room in awe. Her first house. And she was only twenty-two! Everyone else she knew was either living in an apartment or renting a home with a roommate or two. But her? This was her house. "You've done good, Ashley," she told herself proudly, hands on her hips.

It had been quite a deal. For such a gorgeous home, it had been dirt cheap. Apparently the realtors had been trying to sell it for ages. However, urban legend had it that the house was haunted. Ashley didn't know the whole story, only that a child had allegedly died in the home some time ago. This had lead to no one purchasing the house, too afraid to risk a potential ghost encounter.

Now, Ashley wasn't sure if she believed in ghosts. She was open to the possibility at the very least. But was that going to stop her from snagging up this grand three-story manor? Heck no! She was tiny and didn't take up much space, so she figured if there was some spirit living here, they could just share. With a house this big, there was certainly plenty of room to go around. Plus, it would be kind of cool to live with a ghost. As long as they were friendly, that is.

...Perhaps she was getting too hooked on the whole "haunted" concept.

Well, whatever. Ghost or no ghost, it was still a great place to live.

In addition to the house being practically a steal, it came pre-furnished as well. Sure, all the furniture was super old and a bit drab for her tastes, but who was she to complain about free stuff? A chair is still a chair, so as long as it served its purpose, and Ashley was more than happy to use what she had been generously given.

Ashley honestly couldn't believe her luck finding this place. How had no one bought it yet? With luck like this, she figured there must be someone putting in a good word for her up there, and she silently thanked them.

The one downside was that the home was a good twenty minute drive from the nearest town and an hour and a half from the nearest city, so commuting was going to suck. Ashley figured it was a fair trade-off though. She never really got out that often to begin with and wasn't much for big crowds, despite her profession as a performer.

The little town nearby, Ebottville, had a small theater, and she'd just managed to land a job as one of their regular performers. Was it a role on a big Broadway stage? No, but it was something. A start. She'd make it big someday. Today, though, she needed to focus on becoming a big fish in this small pond.

Ashley plopped down on the floor with a content sigh. She had so much space that she didn't know what to do with it all. Not just the house, but the woods nearby too. She owned a good chunk of the surrounding forest. Now that was pretty freaking awesome.

Flopping down onto her back, her chestnut hair splayed out around her, Ashley looked up at the ceiling. It was so high! Hopefully she wouldn't need to change any overhead lights anytime soon; she was only five feet tall, so she might not be able to reach it even with a ladder.

Her green eyes wandered around, absentmindedly making carpet angels as she did so. All of this was hers. All of it. She closed her eyes and sighed, a giant smile on her face. "All mine…"

A distant but surprisingly loud boom caused Ashley to sit upright, her eyes huge, like a deer after hearing a branch suddenly snap in the woods. "Thaaat was weird," she mumbled to herself shakily, slowly getting up. She walked over to the nearest window and peeked out. Several birds could be seen taking to the sky, fleeing the treetops below. Ashley's face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh. Yeah, that's definitely weird alright."

Ashley paused. "I'm talking to myself again," she sighed wearily, rubbing her head. She really needed to stop doing that, especially now that she had a job. It was an old habit that had mostly formed due to loneliness; hearing her own voice was comforting, filling the too familiar silence with a one-sided conversation. She liked to imagine someone was talking back to her, only she simply couldn't hear them. Still, in a place like this that was so isolated from the rest of humanity, she'd probably end up talking to herself more often than not, regardless of how hard she tried.

"So, investigate or not investigate. That is the question." Ashley bit her lip. On the one hand, she didn't know what the wildlife in this area was like at all, meaning it could be some kind of random wild animal that would shred her to pieces on the spot. That wouldn't be good. "Or," she rationalized out loud. "I could stay in this big house and keep talking to myself, slowly descending into insanity until I'm Jack Nicholson in The Shining." She held out her two hands, palms up, weighing her options. "Ferocious beast...or mental madness…"

Ashley clapped her hands together. "Screw it! I'm going." Better to lose a limb than a brain, right? She kind of needed that to function.

Putting on her brown boots, Ashley marched out of her new house, adventure in her step. This would provide a great chance to explore some of her little kingdom. Who knew what she might find? After all, there could be anything in these woods! She was determined to find whatever it was that had caused that loud noise, so bubbling with excitement and curiosity, Ashley dove into the ocean of trees.

It felt like she had stepped into an entirely different world. Ashley's head looked every which way in awe. The trees were absolutely ginormous, stretching upwards for seemingly forever. She felt so tiny beneath their shade, but there was also a sense of comfort and protection.

A robin fluttered by, and Ashley smiled. Idly, she wondered what kind of birds inhabited the area. She'd always had a bit of a fondness for them; she often times would find herself just sitting outside, listening to the birds chattering back and forth. They were musical creatures, like herself, moving with grace and speaking in song. Maybe one day, she'd spread her wings and take flight too.

The terrain began to grow less even. Ashley wondered how far from the manor she was. Maybe this wasn't the greatest idea. "No, shut up," she told the worried voice in her head. "I came out here on a mission, and by gosh, I'm gonna finish it." She began to pick her way over a particularly large log. "I am going to find whatever it was that made that incredibly loud noise. I will stand there. And I will look at it. And if I can take it, I will. If I can't. Then. I'll just go on my way. But I'll be proud of myself. Yeah. Yeah!" Ashley cleared the log with a leap, stumbling a little bit as she landed. She brushed bits of bark off of her jeans and dark green sweater. "Yeah, that's what I'll do. Good plan, me!"

Abruptly, the ground rumbled a little bit. Ashley froze, eyes darting every which way. "Okay that was spooky. Last I checked this area was definitely not prone to earthquakes." She bit her lip. "Maybe I should go back." Her brow furrowed. "No, no, I can't do that. I have to know what this thing is. I'll only regret not finding out. Just like that time with the green lights coming from the woods." She still thought there had been some kind of paranormal event going on that night, but now she'd never know for certain. She refused to let another mystery go unsolved. So, onward it was.

Ashley walked and walked, occasionally climbed, and walked some more. She looked up at the sky, frowning at the sun's position. "Must be late afternoon by now, nearly dinner time." Still, she continued forward through the maze of trees, putting off her first meal in her new home in the hopes of making a worthwhile discovery.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, she saw light ahead. A clearing!

Interest piquing, Ashley rushed forward, only to halt dead in her tracks at the treeline. Eyes wide, she dove behind the nearest tree and pressed her back up against it. Her heart was hammering, and she did her best to breathe properly. She did not just see that. She did not just see that. She. Did not. Just. SEE THAT.

Slowly, Ashley peeked around the side of the tree into the clearing.

Oh man.

She DID just see that.

Spread out in front of her was a giant skeletal corpse, lying on its side. Ashley sank to her knees, hugging the tree sideways. She was looking at a dead giant. Giants lived here, and she had just found a dead one. "Holy pancakes," she breathed, mind whirling.

This was not normal.

Ashley's brain was just a mass of seemingly never-ending questions. How long had it been here? Where did it come from? Were there others? Would they come back for the body? Were they dangerous? Why was the giant wearing slippers?

"Calm down, calm down, it's okay," Ashley whispered to herself, desperately attempting to steady her breathing. "It's dead, it's okay." She took a deep breath. "There, that's better."

Ashley studied the skeleton from afar. The thing was absolutely massive. It had to have been at least sixty feet tall when it was standing. Of course, it wouldn't be doing much of that now, but the thought was enough to give her chills. The dead giant really did seem to have the oddest attire too. In addition to the fluffy pink slippers, it had been wearing black basketball shorts along with a white turtleneck underneath a blue hoodie. That's definitely not what Ashley had expected a giant to wear at all. Then again, two minutes ago, she hadn't even known a giant could exist, so she didn't really have anything to support her belief.

Ashley noticed something that gave her pause. The skeleton's eye sockets: they weren't two gaping black holes. They were closed. "That's impossible," she murmured, her face screwed up in confusion. Skeletons don't have eyelids. At least, she didn't think so; although it wasn't her best subject, she had done fairly well in Biology. However, despite this knowledge, this one did, giving the corpse the appearance of slumber. Well, technically it was sleeping, but a different kind of sleep. The dead kind.

Ashley bit her lip, a dilemma brewing inside of her. How crazy was she going to be today? "Screw it," she decided, rising to her feet; she simply had to look at this thing up close.

Stepping with the lightness only a trained dancer could manage, Ashley approached the fallen giant. As she approached the skull, a warm but pleasant breeze washed over her. She paused. That was...odd. Almost as if the skeleton were actually breathing. But that was ridiculous. She shook her head and continued forward.

Ashley stopped in front of the lidded eye sockets. They were enormous; had they not been lidded, she could have easily climbed inside and crawled around in the giant's skull. Her heart pounded a million beats per minute. She was so tiny, and the thing was just so big!

After hesitating for a moment, Ashley placed a trembling hand on one of the eyelids. To her amazement, it really was solid bone. It was warm and soft and smooth, and she found herself running her hand back and forth, entranced by the strange feeling. "Wow," she breathed.

Abruptly, the eyelid twitched. Ashley made a face. "What the-"

Without warning, both eyelids sprung open, revealing two black voids. Ashley quickly retracted her hand, taking a step back. A pair of bright white orbs appeared, one in each of the sockets. Together, the two focused directly on her. Ashley felt her heart stop, her eyes round with shock and fear.

"Sup."

Face twisted with panic, Ashley turned to run but only ended up tripping and splaying across the ground with a yelp. She looked up in alarm.

The giant skeleton was sitting up, stretching with a yawn. Oh God, she hadn't found a dead giant. She'd found some kind of zombie giant.

With a whine of terror, Ashley scrambled back to her feet. Curiosity sated! Time to go! Unfortunately, this caught the attention of the giant; its head snapped to her at the sudden movement.

As fast as she could, Ashley took off for the trees from where she'd come from. She was so close! If she could just get beneath their protective covering-

Suddenly, a giant wall of white slammed down in front of her, causing her to release a shriek. With a jolt, Ashley realized that it was the skeleton's hand. Oh God, it was as big as she was! Quickly, she tried to run the other way, but a second hand blocked her path. The fingers of bone locked, forming an effective barrier from the safety just on the other side. She was trapped!

Ashley spun around, pale and shaking. The skeleton flopped down onto its chest, causing the earth to shake violently, and it rested its chin on the ground. Its glowing eyes bore into her, and a broad, comical grin spread across its skull. "Hey there!"

Ashley screamed, backing against the hand wall, pressing her spine against the bones in a futile effort to break through. No, no, no! This was not good! She didn't know what she had been planning on finding, but it definitely was not this!

"So, pipsqueak, you decided to wake me up from my nap, huh? That wasn't too thoughtful of you, ya know."

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, sorry, so sorry!" Ashley choked out through panicked sobs. Oh God, she was gonna die because she woke up some giant skeleton from a nap! Sure, it would make a hell of a story to tell in heaven, but that wasn't exactly what she wanted to be thinking about right then.

The skeleton's eyes narrowed a bit. "Oh, you're sorry, huh? Well, that just makes everything all fine and dandy then, doesn't it?" Oh God, he was really pissed now. She was so terribly screwed. "Let me tell you somethin: "sorry" don't mean anything coming from your kind. It's just another word you humans fling around without meaning."

Ashley's legs no longer had the courage to support her; they buckled, causing her to collapse to the ground. She cowered in absolute terror, body trembling, tears streaming down her face. "Please don't hurt me! I didn't mean to wake you up! I just wanna go home, oh God, please let me go! Please! Please don't hurt me!"

The skeleton gave her a good, long, hard stare, his eyes gazing straight through to her soul. After what felt like an eternity, his expression changed into something more mischievous. Ashley couldn't say whether this shift made her feel better or worse. He sat up, retracting his hands from behind her and stretched out his legs. Technically, she could make a run for it now, but something told Ashley that would be a very, very bad idea. Besides, she found that fear had rooted her to her current spot; running away wouldn't even be possible in her current state. "You want me to let you go? Alright, fine. One condition though." He paused. "You gotta tell me a joke."

Ashley blinked up at him in confusion, eyes still watery with tears. "Wha-what?"

"Tell me a joke," he repeated, grinning almost menacingly down at her. "Something funny."

Ashley struggled to wrap her mind around the abrupt shift in the situation. Was he being serious? "Funny?"

"Yep. Make me laugh."

"Just...like that?"

"Just like that. Unless," he loomed down closer, his shadow completely engulfing Ashley. She flinched backwards. "You don't wanna go home?"

"Okay! Okay!" Ashley squeaked out, squeezing her eyes shut, clutching her head in her hands. She felt the earth move a bit beneath her, and when she opened her eyes, the giant had settled back into his previous casual sitting position.

Unsteadily, Ashley rose to her feet, her body vibrating with fear. Okay, this was no big deal. She was just performing for an audience. A very big audience. She only had one shot though, and the thought of what might happen should she choke and fudge it up made her want to vomit. Comedy was all about playing to your audience, but she had no idea how to play to a sixty foot skeleton. What would he even find funny?

Ashley gulped. Well, the longer she stood around dwelling on it, the smaller her chance of getting out of this alive grew. Time to pick something and go with it. That's what acting was about: making decisions. She would make a decision and pray to every deity imaginable that it was the right one.

She could do this. This was why she went to college.

"H-how do you put an elephant into a ref-frigerator?" Ashley asked, stuttering a bit. Focus! Pull it together! This is a performance!

The skeleton gave her a lazy look. He seemed unimpressed. "How?"

"You open the door and put it in," she stated matter-of-factly.

Silence.

The skeleton made a move to speak, but before he could, Ashley cut him off, "How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?"

The skeleton raised a browbone. "You open the door and put it in?"

Ashley smiled. "No. You open the door, take the elephant out, and then put the giraffe in."

The skeleton's gaze softened a bit. "Heh. Okay, not ba-"

Ashley held a finger up, silencing him. He blinked in surprise, not expecting the gesture, but patiently waited for her to continue while watching with curiosity. "Leo the Lion, as king of the jungle, has invited every living creature in the kingdom to his home for a big party," Ashley went on, her prior fear replaced by the confidence of being in her element. "That, of course, includes you. You are excited to go but end up running a little late. On your way there, however, you come across a vast river. This river in particular is known to be the home of thousands of vicious crocodiles. There is no bridge or way around. And the river is too wide to simply step across," she added, regarding the skeleton's abnormal size. "You must cross the river, fully knowing the dangerous creatures that live there. What do you do?"

The giant scratched his head. "Crocodiles are those, uh, chompy lizard things, right?"

Ashley winced. Oh God! She hadn't taken into account he might not know what a crocodile was! She quickly recovered though. "Yes! Their jaws are incredibly powerful and their teeth are razor sharp; they can and often do bite through anything, both flesh and bone. So, how do you plan to cross?" She still had this.

The giant seemed to genuinely consider the question for a moment before shrugging, his features amused. "I dunno, kid."

Ashley gawked up at him in disbelief. "Why, isn't it obvious? You just simply swim across!" He gave her a puzzled expression. Ashley grinned. "The crocodiles aren't there, silly! They already went ahead to King Leo's party!"

The skeleton's smile grew. He was watching her intently. "So!" Ashley continued, standing tall, her eyes alive. "You, being the," she paused, a thought striking her, "lazybones that you are, finally get to Leo the Lion's party. And, wouldn't you know it, you're the last one there! But as you look around, you realize there's someone missing." She gave him a confused look. "Who's missing?"

The giant blinked in surprise, though the grin stayed. Ashley was beginning to wonder if it was perhaps just permanently like that. Maybe she'd live through this long enough to find out. At last the giant shook his head in defeat. "You got me. Who is it?"

Ashley let out an exasperated sigh. "You mean you don't remember?! The giraffe! You left him in the refrigerator!"

She held her breath.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh-

The skeleton began to laugh, a deep, warm and rich sound that sent vibrations through the earth.

Letting out every ounce of oxygen she had in her body, Ashley crumpled to the grass below, body shaking. She gasped for breath. She'd done it. Holy cheesecake, she'd actually done it.

The giant beamed down at her, eyes glowing brightly. "I'll admit, kid, that was pretty good. Nice payoff. Didn't know what to expect. I liked it. Good job."

Ashley let out a hard laugh. "Thanks," she wheezed out, her body still trying to recover.

"I'm Sans, by the way. Sans the skeleton."

She gave him a short wave, her breathing heavy. "Um, hi. I'm uh, Ashley West."

The skeleton, Sans, watched her. "You, uh, okay, buddy?"

Ashley froze. She let out a panicked laugh. "Y-yeah! Yeah! Totally! I'm great!"

Sans's eyes narrowed a bit. Shoot. As quickly as she could get her shaking body to do so, Ashley rose to her feet. "So! Um, I guess...I guess I'll just...head on home now! Heh….right?"

Sans stared her down silently. Ashley waited, painfully aware of how close safety was. Finally, he blinked, nodding his giant skull. "Yeah, sure. A deal's a deal." He paused. "If you need me, I'll be around."

Ashley blinked in surprise. He almost seemed kind of...sad. She couldn't dwell on that, though. Safety first. She gave him a nod. "Okay, sure! Nice to meet you...Sans. Bye!"

Hastily, Ashley scampered off into the woods. As soon as she was surrounded by trees, she bent over, hands on her knees, head spinning. Relief washed over her in tsunami-like waves, tears springing forth once more. "Oh my God, I just did that. I really just did that! Holy cheese balls!" Ashley sighed. "Calm down. You're safe. It's okay. You're a moronic idiot, but you're safe."

...She was safe, right?

Nervously, Ashley turned around to look back into the clearing.

Sans was gone.