How to Train Your SOLDIER

Prologue

"Please."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"I'm not above begging."

"I can see that."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Don't make me order you."

ShinRa Private Cloud Strife came to an abrupt stop and turned to face his companion. The SOLDIER First Class stopped a second after him, crossing his arms and staring defiantly down at the smaller, and scrawnier, trooper. Removing himself from the awkward situation, Cloud found the whole thing rather funny, actually, though Lt. Zack Fair's last remark left him less than pleased. Clearly, making such a comment as that meant the Gongagan was desperate… but really.

"Lieutenant, Sir," Cloud started quietly, his tone just brusque enough to pass for respectfully professional.

"Yes, Private?" Zack answered, just as soft, and only slightly menacing.

"If this has been your way of approaching her, it's no wonder she refuses to date you." He turned and began walking down the hall, nodding at fellow ShinRa troopers of higher rank as he continued towards the wing where his barracks bed beckoned to him. It had been a long day of training, and he really wasn't blending in well with his new class of Privates for his third year in the army. He'd hoped to at least be a Corporal by this point, giving himself a bit of a buffer from the troopers he first joined with. Cloud grimaced as memories of that first year flashed by. It wasn't that he couldn't get along with others, he was just highly selective of those he really trusted to call friends, and the majority of the pickings were rather slim…

"-Not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Cloud turned just enough to see Zack walking beside him, a scowl on his face. The Private held back a smile. "I'm sorry, Sir, repeat your last?" he asked lightly.

"You're killing me, Strife."

"I'm just walking down a hall, Sir. If that's all it takes to bring down a SOLDIER, then I should be recruited already-hey!" Cloud lowered his voice as he was none too gently redirected into one of the ShinRa administrative offices. Steering them toward an empty cubicle, Zack looked around before sitting himself on the edge of the desk and staring at the Private now eye level with him. Cloud's eyes widened at the lack of teasing on his friend's face.

"Cloud," he said quietly, formalities dropped behind closed doors. "I'm in love with her."

The Private blinked rapidly at the bold statement. "You're kidding, right?" At the head shake, Cloud rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Zack, you barely even know her. How can you say you're in love with her?"

"Because I can't stop thinking about her. Because there's something about her that just-I don't know- makes me goofy when she smiles. I feel like I want to just be near her, even if she doesn't talk to me, even if she doesn't notice me… just because I feel so happy when she's close."

Cloud whistled softly. "You've got it bad."

Zack dropped his eyes and rubbed the back of his head. "I know. I know, and I can't-." He looked back up at Cloud with a sigh. "I need your help, man."

Cloud stared at his friend for several moments before he shook his head. "I don't know, Zack."

"Please!" Zack whispered urgently, clasping his hands together as if in prayer and biting on his lower lip. He gave Cloud the ShinRa famous sad puppy look that won over everyone… including Sephiroth. Or so Cloud had heard.

Cloud reached out his hand and covered Zack's eyes. "Don't," he groaned, feeling his resolve slip away. "Don't do that Zack."

"I'll give you whatever you want, Cloud. Whatever you ask for, man, I promise you'll get it," Zack begged from behind Cloud's gloved hand.

Damn it. Cloud sighed and pulled his hand back. "Gods, I'm going to regret this-." His voice was lost in a gasp, the world spinning when Zack lifted him off his feet and hugged him tight. "Zack, put me down!" he whispered vehemently. While he'd gotten used to the SOLDIER's penchant for touching, he absolutely hated being man handled. It just served to remind him of how small he was.

Zack gave one last good squeeze before dropping the blond and grabbing his shoulders. "You're the best, Spike!"

"I haven't agreed to anything yet," Cloud hissed as he straightened out his uniform. "Here's the deal, SOLDIER. I need help, too." Zack's eyebrows went up. Cloud sighed. "I'm not passing my physical tests well enough to get promoted." He glanced up before looking away in embarrassment. "I'm getting my ass kicked out there. Literally. So. You help me past the physicals, and I'll get you set up with Aerith."

"Deal!" Zack held out his hand enthusiastically.

"Wait," Cloud warned. "I want advanced lessons, Zack. Like SOLDIER stuff. I don't want to be just good enough for Corporal, I want good enough for Sergeant, at least."

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll be running laps around my Thirds," Zack promised.

If Aerith doesn't kill me first. Shaking away the doubt, he grasped Zack's hand. "All right. Deal."