MARVEL'S SPIDER-MAN
By
The Lukanator
FADE IN:
QUEENS, NEW YORK. LUNCH HOUR.
A still shot of an intersection reveals New Yorkers traveling to and fro, minding their own business. There is a small crowd gathered around a bus stop and men and women walk through the sidewalks, determined to get where they need to go on time.
Without warning, the shot switches to footsteps running along the concrete. Then back to the intersection. The shots continue to switch back and forth, highlighting the running and slowly revealing the other four runners as well as why they're running: they're muggers, mostly young-ish adults, quickly snatching up anything they can, be it purses, wallets, briefcases, etc.
The people in the intersection begin to notice and eventually screams ring out and chaos ensues as the muggers steal. People are pushed, shoved and toppled.
As the two shots continue to flip back and forth, a third shot is introduced. More running steps. This time on a rooftop. The webbed red and blue legs vault over drops and jump over alleyways. Eventually the legs leap over an edge, down into the intersection.
Bam! In a full, cheesy, glorious slow-mo shot, one of the thugs gets a kick to the face from SPIDER-MAN. Now with dynamic cameras, Spidey goes to town on the five thugs, with a sort of clumsy finesse. He doesn't seem to know exactly what he's doing, but he does it effectively and with a certain level of style. And with a penchant for comedy/being annoying.
SPIDER-MAN
(THROUGHOUT THE FIGHT)
Wow! Way to go guys. Not only are you the most obvious criminals of all time but you are also the least fashionable. Seriously, what am I looking at here? You all dress totally different but you no-good-nik in a perfect V formation? What are you, migrating? It's that kind of inconsistency that the criminal community has a serious problem with. See, I wear a costume. It's snazzy. It's sexy. It's coordinated. And I am whooping all y'alls' tuchas' like you're my redheaded step-children. Coincidence?! I think not! And where are your masks? It's like you're asking for someone to film you and get you identified and arrested. Plus, not only that- (SEES ENTIRE GROUP IS INCAPACITATED) -oh. Well alrighty then. (TO THE ONLOOKERS) Everyone in one piece? All good here? Can I trust you guys to replace your personal effects in an orderly and calm- (SEES TIME ON A WATCH)Oh. Yeah. So… I guess I'll have to trust you. (TO SELF) I'm late to class.
SPIDER-MAN quickly swings across Queens, to Middletown High School. He lands on the school's roof and awkwardly changes into his normal clothes.
AS PETER PARKER
(TO SELF, CHANGING)
Hot roof, hot roof!
After putting on his shoes, something dawns on him and he thinks out loud.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF)
Agh, lunch! Again!
PETER stealthily crawls through a window leading into the second storey hallway, currently empty, and runs through it, nearly dropping his books. He bursts into his BIOLOGY CLASS, accidentally knocking over glass vials on the front table.
The whole class looks over and some students laugh. The teacher, MR. BENDIS, sighs with exasperation. PETER proceeds to awkwardly clean up the broken glass.
PETER CONT.
(MUMBLED)
Sorry… sorry… um, sorry…
MR. BENDIS
(DISINTERESTED)
Uh huh. So. Mr. Parker.
PETER
(LOOKING UP)
Sorry, yeah?
MR. BENDIS
(SARCASTICALLY)
Late again, huh?
PETER
Really, really sorry.
MR. BENDIS
Yes… you do realize that I went through the trouble of organizing this class, right?
PETER
Sorry.
MR. BENDIS
I had to plan out the lesson for the day and select, from a large curriculum, which chapters, in an even larger book, you and your fellow honors students were to read. Have you seen the Common Core curriculum?
PETER
(FINISHES UP CLEANING)
I… I… I'm sorry.
MR. BENDIS
Mhmm. May I ask why you're late to my class this time?
PETER
(SCANNING FOR A LIE)
I… uh… I fell asleep.
MR. BENDIS
During lunch.
PETER
Yeah.
MR. BENDIS
How?
PETER
(MUMBLED)
I, I don't know, just did.
MR. BENDIS
In the cafeteria? At a table?
PETER
(STICKING WITH IT)
Uhhh… Mhmm.
MR. BENDIS
The bell didn't awaken you?
PETER
No.
MR. BENDIS
None of the custodians noticed this?
PETER
No?
MR BENDIS
I find that hard to believe.
PETER
(CEMENTING THE LIE)
Well… uh… I mean… I think I caught them laughing at me when I woke up…
MR. BENDIS
(DISBELIEVING)
Okay Peter.
PETER
Really.
MR. BENDIS
Okay Peter.
PETER
I… sorry about the mess.
MR. BENDIS
(OUT OF PATIENCE)
Just sit down please.
PETER
Sorry.
MR. BENDIS
Sit.
PETER shuffles to his seat. The class giggles quietly. One kid pats him on the back.
MR. BENDIS (CONT'D)
Okay! So! Mr. Peter Parker: we were just discussing the Hardy-Weinberg Equilibrium. And what, pray tell, does said Hardy-Weinberg Equilibrium state?
PETER
(MUMBLED)
Um… that allele and genotype frequencies in a population will remain constant from generation to generation, in the absence of other outside evolutionary influences?
MR. BENDIS
(TO THE CLASS, AFTER A PAUSE)
How? I mean… how? He isn't even here half of the time! (TO PETER) You're lucky you're so damn smart. (BACK TO THE CLASS) Alright, alright. Let's get back to it. Ms Whitman, we were discussing how in page 237 of your textbooks…
The audio fades out as a shot focuses on PETER'S face. The class goes back to their lesson but PETER is still stuck in his own world. His dopey expression sums up everything you need to know about him.
MARVEL'S SPIDER-MAN flashes on the screen.
PETER isn't a scrawny kid. He's actually kinda ripped. But, because of how he dresses, you'd think he weighed 120 pounds. He's about 5'7, 5'8 and pale. He has brown hair and brown eyes, and he kinda looks like his mother dresses him. His clothes never say too much about his personality other than that he's a geek. He wears glasses even though he doesn't need them anymore (part of the whole spider-powers package), in an effort to remain inconspicuous.
He's not ugly but he's not hot. He would definitely look much better if he fixed his appearance up or just tried a little bit harder. He has trouble making eye contact with other students but he's mostly fine around adults. He's relatively mature for his age but his attire doesn't give it away.
In short: He's an isolated kid, who looks a bit weirder than he really is. That, combined with his general problem with social situations, is why kids his age tend to avoid him. Actually he is pretty weird. I mean the Spider-Man thing? That's weird.
1979 by THE SMASHING PUMPKINS plays. Hypothetically.
The opening credits play out as a montage of PETER'S average school day appears:
After Biology, PETER walks through the halls. He sees a few guys wrestling with their friends. He sees couples making out. He goes into the restroom to pee and a bunch of goth kids offer him cigarettes. He awkwardly smiles and politely declines, walking out.
As PETER makes a turn around a flight of steps, FLASH THOMPSON, resident douchey jock with Bieber hair and a need for attention, tussles his hair. PETER walks faster but when FLASH sees PETER avoiding him, he and his two jock friends double back and follow him. PETER pretends to not notice as he makes his way to the library. After PETER turns a corner, he leaps up onto the ceiling and loses them.
PETER returns to the library and checks out a book on finances, as well as a book on the history of S.H.I.E.L.D. He intently reads and stealthily eats his late lunch. The librarian notices his lunch but takes pity on him and doesn't say anything. A far shot shows how Peter is the only kid on his side of the library.
PETER is shown in his trig and English classes, isolated, bored and receiving A+'s, as always, before he steps outside after school. The front of the school is packed with leaving students, many of whom are chatting and goofing around with each other. PETER quietly walks past all of them and heads home.
The opening credits end.
PETER walks through his backyard and uses the key in his backpack to enter the back door.
ENT. PARKER RESIDENCE.
PETER sets his backpack down in the kitchen.
AUNT MAY
(FROM THE LIVING ROOM)
Peter, you home?
PETER
(WALKING TO THE LIVING ROOM)
Aunt May? Why are you home so early?
AUNT MAY is in her early fifties. She's about the same height as PETER and looks a lot like him. She's his aunt, of course, but really, she's his mother. She's been raising him since he was a toddler and knows him better than he knows himself. She's doting and sweet but not afraid to fire up when necessary.
AUNT MAY
(KISSES PETER'S FOREHEAD)
Hi sweetie. I got off early so I could prepare.
PETER
For what?
AUNT MAY
For my new… oh, well… I have some news. It's not huge… but, well, it kind of is. I mean… I don't know.
PETER
(CONCERNED)
What is it?
AUNT MAY
Your Uncle Ben's life insurance was worth virtually nothing. Insurance companies are pure evil, Peter. Never forget that. So, for now on, I'll be pulling double shifts at the hospital.
PETER
Ugh, really?
AUNT MAY
Yeah. It's not that big a deal but tonight's the last night I'll be eating dinner with you for a while. At least during the week. Weekends are fine.
PETER
You just found this out?
AUNT MAY
Yeah.
PETER
That thoroughly sucks.
AUNT MAY
Yeah. (PAUSES FOR A MOMENT) But at least we'll be making more money.
PETER
Still.
AUNT MAY
I know.
PETER
So, uh, what's for dinner tonight?
AUNT MAY
Really? Calm down, we have a good couple hours. You just walked in!
PETER
(SMILING)
It's called forward thinking.
AUNT MAY
It's called you're a teenage boy.
PETER
True.
"A GOOD COUPLE HOURS LATER"
ENT. PETER'S BEDROOM
PETER is standing upside down on his bedroom ceiling. In his hand is a photograph of UNCLE BEN and on his face is a somber expression.
AUNT MAY
(FROM DOWNSTAIRS)
Peter! Dinner!
PETER
(DROPPING THE PHOTO)
Yummy.
ENT. THE DINING ROOM
PETER and MAY sit in their seats and eat silently. In the chair across from MAY, a place has been made but there is no food. This is BEN'S old seat.
AUNT MAY
(BREAKING THE SILENCE)
So… anything going on in school?
PETER
Uh… not that I can think of. (PETER THINKS FOR A MOMENT) Um, I got another A in Biology… I got an A in Gym, for participation, of course… I still need to read A Tale of Two Cities for English.
AUNT MAY
(STERNLY)
Well why haven't you done that yet?
PETER
(PROUD)
I was busy getting A's in all my other classes.
AUNT MAY
Still. Always give one hundred percent effort.
PETER
I mean, it's not like it's due soon or anything. I'm ahead of schedule, I think, overall.
AUNT MAY
Well that's good. You're so smart, Peter. Ben and I always, always thought that.
PETER
Yeah, and you always, always said it.
AUNT MAY
Well… I always say it. I'm still here.
Awkward silence ensues.
MAY looks at the empty seat and suddenly picks up her dishes and begins washing them in the kitchen. PETER sighs and stands up. He walks into the kitchen. MAY is hiding tears as she does the dishes. PETER hugs her.
ENT. PETER'S BEDROOM
Later that night, PETER lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating. MAY knocks on his door.
PETER
It's open.
AUNT MAY
(SITTING ON PETER'S BED)
How are you doing?
PETER
I'm okay. You?
AUNT MAY
Yeah. I just can't believe it's only been half a year. It feels like it was a lifetime ago.
PETER
I know.
AUNT MAY
Well, it feels like a lifetime ago and then it's like I forget he's gone.
PETER
I keep coming home and expecting to hear the TV. He always left the news on after he went to work.
AUNT MAY
I know. (CHUCKLES) And I had to turn it off when I got home because you wouldn't.
PETER
(SMILING)
Wow. You are never gonna let that go, are you?
AUNT MAY
Nope. (KISSES HIS FOREHEAD AND STANDS UP) I have to get up before you tomorrow. What is this blasphemy?
PETER
Woo hoo, I get to eat store-brand cereal first.
AUNT MAY
(WALKING TO THE DOOR)
You're never gonna let that go are you?
PETER
Nope.
AUNT MAY
Goodnight, Peter. I love you.
PETER
Love you too.
MAY flips off the light switch and closes the door.
Almost immediately, PETER pulls his bedspread off, revealing that he's in costume. Before he puts his mask on, he has a very guilty expression.
Nevertheless, he puts it on and quietly sneaks out his window.
ENT. QUEENS ROOFTOPS
PETER, as SPIDER-MAN, swings on his webbing and parkours across the low Queens rooftops. PETER looks around for anyone in need of help but finds nothing, yet.
As he swings, PETER remembers UNCLE BEN.
FLASHBACK
In one, PETER and BEN are fishing, around Lake Onondaga. BEN helps little PETER reel in a fish.
In another, BEN hugs elementary school-aged PETER, as he's given a blue ribbon at his school's science fair.
PETER and BEN eat ice cream in a diner.
PETER and BEN play Crash Racing together (Sony reasons).
PETER and BEN work on a car together.
PETER and BEN go to a museum together.
BEN is shot in the stomach and falls over, while MAY screams behind him.
PETER walks up to his house and sees the police cars. Panicking, he runs inside and finds a bloody crime scene and MAY crying. BEN'S corpse has already been taken away.
RETURN
In the present, PETER is crying under his mask. He lands on a rooftop and rips it off, breathing heavily and angrily. He takes a moment to recover his breath. It's pouring rain. Suddenly, he hears a woman screaming. He puts his mask back on and runs to the source.
In an alleyway, three men are grabbing and shoving a young woman. One of them has a knife.
THUG ONE
C'mon sweetie pie, don't fight. We just need a little cash.
He cuts the purse's strap and takes it. The woman slaps his face.
THUG TWO
Ooh, bad move.
THUG ONE
You a disrespectful little bitch, ain't you?
The men begin beating on her and kicking her, when PETER drops down behind them. Illuminated in the darkness by light reflecting from the puddles, he looks pretty menacing.
THUG THREE
(NOTICING PETER)
Guys?
THUG ONE
Hey, jerk-off, mind your own business and I won't cut you. deal?
PETER
(SOFTLY)
What's the point of this? Huh? What's the point?
THUG ONE
Get the hell out of here before I slit your throat.
PETER
(IN ENRAGED HALF SOBS)
Huh? Why? Why? Imagine if you were just minding your own business and someone threatened to take your life? How would you feel?!
THUG ONE
The hell did I say?! You have crap in your ears?! Leave! Or we. Will. Kill you, idiot!
PETER
(ANGRY AND LOUDLY)
This woman did nothing to you! Don't we all have enough to worry about?! Where is your decency, you morons?!
THUG ONE
Fine! Get him.
THUG THREE runs at PETER and is immediately flipped over and stomped on.
PETER
(SCREAMING)
Is that how you solve all of your problems, you stupid pieces of crap?!
THUG TWO takes the knife and goes after him. PETER easily dodges the thug's swift attacks and twists the thug's wrist until there is a snapping sound. He throws the screaming man face-first into the brick wall, knocking him unconscious.
PETER CONT.
You feel like a big man?! You feel tough?! This make up for your failure as a basic human being?!
The last thug turns around and runs away. PETER catches him with a web and begins beating on him over and over again. It looks like PETER will kill him until he notices the woman. Her expression is a combination of horror and surprise.
PETER looks at the man's battered face and stops himself.
PETER
(SHOCKED)
I… I… I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
He hands the woman her purse.
WOMAN
(SNIFFLING)
Tha- thank you.
She quickly hugs him and runs off.
PETER
(TO HIMSELF)
This… too much.
PETER grabs the men and drops them off at the hospital, with a note. He climbs up onto a roof and, again, removes his mask. He silently cries in his hands.
END ACT ONE
ENT. MIDTOWN HIGH: ENGLISH CLASS
The sudden rapping of a ruler next to his head wakes PETER up in his desk.
PETER
(WAKING UP, SURPRISED)
Daredevil, I love…! (AWKWARDLY CHUCKLES)
Some kids seated near PETER giggle and whisper about him.
GIRL ONE
(WHISPERED TO GIRL TWO)
He could be cute.
GIRL TWO
(WHISPERED BACK)
He's so weird.
PETER sighs at their words. The TEACHER speaks up.
TEACHER
(TO PETER)
Mr. Parker. I see you're on subject, at least. (TO CLASS) What do you think the impact of these real-life "superheroes" are, for each of you? Are they inspirational? Are they weird? Do you think they're helpful? Or maybe dangerous? Tell me. (POINTS TO A STUDENT WITH HIS HAND RAISED) Kenneth?
STUDENT
Well, I think they're capable of doing good. But lately, all they do is fight each other. And really, I mean, when we say super heroes, who are we talking about here? We've seen people with powers who are bad. The Avengers and stuff… they fought other powered people but those guys didn't even show up 'till the Avengers did. It's just weird.
TEACHER
Interesting, I hadn't even thought of that myself… (TO CLASS) Any rebuttals?
FLASH interjects.
FLASH
Uh… what about guys like Spider-Man and… and Parker's boyfriend, Daredevil?
PETER rolls his eyes.
TEACHER
Not necessary, Flash.
FLASH
Well my point is guys like Daredevil fight guys like Wilson Fisk, who are killers and criminals. They've always been around. Without Daredevil, who knows what would have happened with them.
LIZ ALLEN joins in.
LIZ
Uh, Flash… that makes no sense. Half the city blew up, remember?
FLASH
That wasn't his fault! And it was more like half a neighborhood.
LIZ
Still. That's my whole point. Neighborhoods weren't blowing up until "Daredevil", or whatever, showed up. For all we know, the Avengers caused the aliens to attack us! Or… or… the falling cities and stuff… it's just all mighty suspicious. Plus they all look stupid. Spider-Man is the worst. He looks like some kind of gay… something.
FLASH
Hey, man! Spider-Man is friggin amazing!
LIZ
He's retarded.
TEACHER
Please, Liz. Let's not use that word. You too, Flash. What about you, Peter? You love Daredevil?
PETER
Uh… (THE WHOLE CLASS STARES AT HIM) well, I mean… Spider-Man is kinda weird. So are the rest, I guess… (PETER REMEMBERS THE FIGHT FROM THE PREVIOUS NIGHT) Maybe, maybe they go too far sometimes.
FLASH
Such bullcrap.
TEACHER
Flash! Stop or leave the room.
FLASH
Sorry…
PETER
They just need to do their jobs. Save people. No need to punish anyone. Let the courts do that.
LIZ
To be fair, the courts do suck at… courting.
PETER
I guess. Still. I don't know.
TEACHER
Well, this is an interesting dialogue. Maybe if any of you feel like Peter here, and you're unsure, do some research. There may be some extra credit in it for…
The audio fades out with a still shot of PETER, like the previous classroom scene.
ENT. MIDTOWN HIGH: GYM
PETER stands in line to shoot hoops, with FLASH and LIZ right behind him. The GYM TEACHER won't stop drilling his students. A kid misses a shot.
GYM TEACHER
A woman! I swear to god! I'd bet cash money that a woman threw that!
FLASH
(TO PETER)
So Parker… don't like Spidey? The hell's your problem?
PETER
He's okay, I guess.
FLASH
Man, he's awesome.
LIZ
You in love, Flash?
FLASH
I'm man enough to admit it.
LIZ
Such a man.
PETER IS UP TO SHOOT.
FLASH
(SARCASTICALLY)
Here's your man…
LIZ
He's actually pretty ripped. More than you, I think.
FLASH
What?!
PETER overhears this and smiles but then a worried expression takes hold. He can't risk giving anything away.
GYM TEACHER
What the heck are you waiting for, Parker?! Shoot!
PETER purposely misses the shot.
GYM TEACHER CONT.
I… I… were you raised by nuns? Are you French?! Hit the showers!
FLASH
(TO LIZ)
You were saying?
LIZ
Whatever.
PETER walks away but his spider sense goes off as a stray ball nearly hits his head. PETER catches the ball. When FLASH isn't looking, he throws it square at his head and walks away inconspicuously.
FLASH
Aghh! Huh?! (LIZ GIGGLES, TO LIZ) You are a terrible girlfriend.
ENT. PETER'S HOUSE
PETER walks in his house and checks the mail at the front door. He finds a letter from the bank, confirming that the house has been refinanced. PETER sighs and kicks off his shoes. He walks past the living room, clicking the news on with the remote, walks into the kitchen and begins making a sandwich.
PETER
(TO HIMSELF)
Love me some olive loaf.
PETER turns the television's volume up.
FEMALE NEWSCASTER
After the break: how a local Queens man made three thousand dollars… selling one photograph, of the Punisher, to a New York newspaper!
MALE NEWSCASTER
You know, Barbara, I could use some of that money myself! (FAKE NEWS CHUCKLES)
FEMALE NEWSCASTER
Get in line, Jim! (MORE FAKE NEWS CHUCKLES)
PETER thinks to himself and looks at the bank letter on the counter.
ENT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE
As SPIDER-MAN, PETER sits on the side of a tall glass building.
PETER
(TO HIMSELF)
Totally not unethical. Selfie!
PETER poses for the smart phone attached to the side of a window, made to look as if taken from indoors. PETER webs the phone over to him and looks over the pictures.
PETER (CONT'D)
I mean, it's just for bills and- man, I look good!
PETER drops out of frame.
ENT. THE DAILY BUGLE LOBBY
PETER walks out of an alleyway and into the Bugle's doors, now wearing a tie and his backpack. He looks so out of place, it's not even funny.
PETER
(TO THE DESK CLERK)
Um… hi. I'm here for-
CLERK
Name?
PETER
Oh, uh, Peter. (THE CLERK GIVES HIM A LOOK) Uh, uh, Parker. Peter Parker. (AWKWARD CHUCKLES)
CLERK
Uh huh. (SHE DIALS HER PHONE) Hey, I have a… Peter Parker… here for… (TO PETER) for?
PETER
A, uh, Mr. Jameson.
CLERK
Really? (TO PHONE) For Mr. Jameson. Uh huh. (WHISPERS) He's like twelve.
PETER
(MUMBLED)
Almost sixteen…
CLERK
Yeah. If you say so. (TO PETER) Alright, head on up.
PETER
Okay, thanks! (WALKS TO ELEVATOR, THEN PAUSES AND GOES BACK) Sorry, uh, which floor?
CLERK
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
Top floor.
PETER
Oh, okay, thanks… again!
PETER gets in and presses the top button. Several men run towards the elevator and PETER holds it open for them. They say some thanks. PETER is the shortest person on the elevator. They awkwardly ride up, together.
The doors open for the top floor, the writer's room. It's beautiful chaos. Men and women run around, frantically looking for papers, yelling orders at each other, typing last-minute changes and, above all else, drinking coffee.
PETER is puzzled by the cute teenage girl he notices at a desk. He smiles at her but she doesn't notice him. He steps into a makeshift line leading to the editor-in-chief's office. He can hear a man barking inside. As the line moves forward, PETER can see and hear J JONAH JAMESON yelling at an editor.
JJJ
(TO THE FIRST REPORTER)
Really?! McDonald's?! What is this, 2003? Nobody cares about McDonald's anymore! America is on an apathetic hot streak and it's been that way for fifteen years! It's crap food. You know it. I know it. But it tastes like Kim Novak looked, so ask me if I care! Go ahead, ask! (PAUSES LONG ENOUGH FOR THE MAN TO OPEN HIS MOUTH) Shut up, I don't care. Give me Burger King, then we'll talk! (TO THE LINE) Next! Robbie! What've you got?
ROBBIE
Well Jonah, I've got an interview with Henry Pym, from Pym-
JJJ
So? What does he say?
ROBBIE
-well, he says that he believes outfitting weapons with A.I technology is a horrible idea, so he and some other scientific minds have sent a letter to the U.N, making statements-
JJJ
Other scientific minds? Who?
ROBBIE
-If you'd let me finish, statements which Stephen Hawking agrees with. As does Elon Musk and-
JJJ
Wheelchair guy? Sounds juicy. Run it. I trust your judgment.
ROBBIE
(SARCASTICALLY)
Thanks, Jonah… (ON HIS WAY OUT, TO PETER) Good luck, kid.
PETER
Thanks…
PETER watches ROBBIE walk away, then notices the walls. They are covered with photographs of everyone from Charlie Sheen to… Spider-Man. There are Spidey pictures everywhere. PETER, suddenly horrified, is about to walk away when JJJ steps up.
JJJ
(TO PETER)
Whadda you want, kid? I haven't got all day.
PETER
Uh… um… well…
JJJ
Kid! This ain't cub scouts! Out with it!
PETER
Well…
Suddenly a scream rings out. The teenage girl storms up to JJJ and lets lose, startling even him.
JJJ
(TO BETTY)
Uh… Ms. Brant?
BETTY
I can't deal with this crap anymore, Jonah! That's it! These computers suck! I can't type a paragraph without the whole thing blowing up in my face!
JJJ
It blew up?!
BETTY
Ugh, no, it crashed. Again!
JJJ
You took that class on this mushugas!
BETTY
I took a one day class!
JJJ
That class wasn't cheap!
BETTY
I take a one day class on Chinese, I don't care how expensive, I won't know Chinese in one day!
JJJ
No one actually speaks "Chinese".
BETTY
You know what I mean!
PETER
Uh, guys?
JJJ
Look, sweetheart-
BETTY
You did not just…
PETER
Guys.
JJJ
Your daddy is the only reason you-
BETTY
Don't say it! I work my ass off! I'm one of the hardest workers in this whole-
PETER
Guys!
JJJ
Yeah, when the computers work! Oh wait! According to you they never-
PETER
Guys!
BETTY and JJJ freeze.
JJJ
Hey! Who do you-
PETER
I fixed it!
BETTY
Huh?
PETER
The computers! I fixed them.
JJJ
How the hell-
PETER
Um, yeah, it wasn't crashing. I mean, it looked like a crash, but, no. It was a, uh, recursive loop. You musta changed a line that caused the script to call itself over and over again. And there was no conditional statement, so the script didn't know to exit or stop calling itself. None of the pages rendered because the results of the script were needed and since the script was recursively calling itself, no results were ever, uh, delivered. I guess that's the word I'll use there. I mean, technically web sites don't crash, web servers do. This one hasn't crashed yet but it will when the recursive loop takes up all the CPU's memory. So… all you really had to do is add that initial conditional statement and, uh, yeah. See? I, uh, I stuck it in the script and, uh… yeah. I just updated the script. It's like if you had to make sure to tell a person to breath, even when they're asleep… well, that's not a great analogy but, uh… heh, yeah. I don't have your password, though. So, it won't activate just… (BETTY TYPES THE PASSWORD IN) ah. There you go. All done!
JJJ and BETTY are frozen in place.
BETTY
(STUNNED)
Wow.
JJJ
(STUNNED)
Jesus.
BETTY
I… how do you know all this stuff?
PETER
Y'know… just… books. And stuff. I mean, I have a computer so…
JJJ
Jesus.
BETTY
(SMILING)
Me too and I don't know about all that! You're a freakin' genius.
PETER
(AWKWARDLY SMILING)
Uh, thanks. It's nothing.
JJJ
Jesus.
PETER
I guess I just knew where to look. For geeky info, I mean.
BETTY
Yeah, no, that's great. Seriously, great.
JJJ
Um… I, uh…
BETTY
I've never seen him so speechless.
JJJ
You want a job?
PETER
Uh, I don't… I mean, yeah… I think.
JJJ
You in high school or something?
PETER
Yeah, Midtown Hi-
JJJ
Here's some paperwork. Fill it out. Come here after school for two hours. Part time. You're young. You get fifteen bucks an hour. Deal?
PETER
Fifteen?! I… I… uh, I have to call my aunt, I think.
JJJ
Deal. I'll be in my office.
BETTY
(LOOKS AT PETER AMOROUSLY)
Wow. Dude… wow.
PETER
(SMILING, CALLING MAY)
Heh. Dude.
BETTY
Yeah.
PETER
Uh… (TO PHONE) hey, Aunt May. Yeah. I am, you? Good. Yes, I'm okay. (ROLLS EYES AT BETTY) Um… so I got a job.
A few seconds later in JONAH'S office.
PETER
(HANDING PHONE TO JJJ)
Um… Mr. Jameson? My Aunt wants to talk with you.
JJJ
(INTO PHONE)
Uh… hello, ma'am. I… yes… uh huh… I'm sure he's a very nice young man… yes… uh huh. Okay. Yes. I will. Yes, thank you.(HANDS PHONE BACK TO PETER) Was your mother a sailor?
PETER
(PUTTING PHONE AWAY)
Sorry.
JJJ
Ever do that to me again and I will put you in a box and mail you to the Ukraine.
ENT. BROOKLYN SKYLINE
Blankets Of Night by HAMMOCK plays.
PETER, as SPIDER-MAN, goes out on patrol. He swings across rooftops, looking in alleyways and dark corners for any danger.
As he's sitting on a ledge, PETER hears a woman's scream. He expertly dives down the side of the building and swings about a block over, landing skillfully on a garden rooftop, in full combat mode.
The woman screams again… at the sight of SPIDER-MAN. She has tears in her eyes and a sparkling new engagement ring on her finger. Her fiancé is still on one knee.
WOMAN
Oh my God! Mark, look! Aieeeee!
MARK
What the- get out of here, pervert!
PETER
(TURNING AROUND)
Sorry, sorry… I thought someone was hurting you.
WOMAN
Do I look like I'm in pain?!
PETER
Well maybe if you didn't scream bloody murder on a rooftop, you… you… lady!
Later in the night, PETER is somewhere in the BROWNSVILLE, BROOKLYN area. He continues to search for someone to help but is unsure of what to look for. He tries looking in parks but that doesn't help, either. Feeling hopeless, he lands on
a roof, removes his mask and sighs.
A gunshot rings out.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Oh crap.
He swings over to another project complex and lands on the side of the building.
He watches two large groups of young men, about two dozen in total, each wearing different matching colors (red and blue), with a leader arguing on each side.
RED LEADER
(TO BLUE LEADER)
Oh, you scared now, huh?
BLUE LEADER
Yeah, I'm afraid your stupid ass'll accidentally cap some fool's window.
RED LEADER
Nah, just your friends' faces.
BLUE LEADER
(SARCASTICALLY)
Damn, you're so scary! Moms, help me!
RED LEADER
(RAISING HIS GUN)
You wanna see scary?!
Suddenly, both gangs begin brandishing weapons, including some automatic handguns. PETER sees families hiding at a nearby playground and a man and woman on the opposite side of the group. Both are exposed and vulnerable. Not to mention the various apartments. This is a residential area.
PETER refocuses on the thugs long enough to hear it all go to hell.
RED LEADER
(SHOOTS BLUE LEADER POINT BLANK)
Suck this!
Gunfire and chaos ensues, as both sides begin firing at each other. PETER leaps into the fray, immediately.
PETER
(TO THE GANGS)
Hey! Dork-bags! Right here!
He attempts to draw the gunfire to himself, so that the civilians won't be hurt but only a few thugs notice him.
PETER CONT.
Yo! Walking offensive stereotypes! I said here! As in, right freaking here!
More men notice and begin firing in his direction, away from the pedestrians who are taking the opportunity to run indoors.
PETER CONT.
What are you guys even fighting over? You both like the same boy? Ah, young love. So powerful. Such naivety.
At this point all the criminals are shooting at PETER and all the civilians are gone.
PETER CONT.
Wait, let me guess… (POINTING TO THE REDS) you guys are the Capulets… and you guys (POINTING TO THE BLUES) are the… uh, what were they… the Montagues!
Seeing that everyone is safe, PETER runs into the group and begins taking everyone down, first unarming them, and then webbing them up.
Eventually the entire crowd is incapacitated. As PETER wraps everything and everyone up, he notices that he received one graze from a bullet, tearing part of his costume.
PETER CONT.
(LOOKING AT THE CUT)
Ow. This stings. Thanks for that, dicks. Have fun with the police! I hope it was worth throwing your lives away!
PETER swings away, satisfied.
PETER CONT.
(TO HIMSELF)
Gangs… dangerous and organized. I can't punch a problem before it happens but… but I can punch gang members. (LOUDLY) I can punch gang members!
RANDOM GUY IN APARTMENT SOMEWHERE
NO one gives a shit!
PETER
Rude…
ENT. PETER'S HOUSE: SUNDAY AFTERNOON
AUNT MAY is home, so PETER can't do much heroics. Instead a montage shows him playing video games, reading comic books, upside down, and watching television (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).
PETER attempts to sew up the hole in his costume but is having some serious trouble. After all, he is a fifteen year old boy. As he searches the internet for sewing tips, PETER remembers getting his costume.
FLASHBACK
PETER, as a masked figure, wrestles other colorful characters in the ring. He's given the costume and a name to go with it: SPIDER-MAN. As SPIDER-MAN'S success soars, tons of costumes are mass produced in a factory. But the factory stops when SPIDER-MAN'S popularity declines. Tons of finished costumes are thrown away.
RETURN
In the present, PETER wonders where they were all discarded. He needs a new one, after all.
Suddenly, AUNT MAY knocks on PETER'S door and begins to open it and PETER shoots a messy web at the door.
AUNT MAY
(FROM BEHIND THE DOOR)
I- Peter? Peter! What are you… the door won't… did you slam it on me?!
PETER
(FUMBLING TO HIDE HIS COSTUME AND EQUIPMENT)
Sorry! I… um… (OPENING THE DOOR IN A WAY THAT HIDES THE WEBBING) what's up?
AUNT MAY
(CONFUSED)
Um… here are your clean clothes.
PETER
(TAKING THE BASKET)
Thanks!
AUNT MAY
What were you- oh. (SMILING KNOWINGLY) Okay, I get it. Sorry.
PETER
(CONFUSED)
I don't… I… (GETS IT) Oh! No, no! I wasn't… no!
AUNT MAY
(SMILING)
Okay, Peter. Sure.
PETER
Really!
AUNT MAY
(WALKING AWAY)
It's perfectly natural, Peter.
PETER
(EMBARASSED)
No! No, I… agh!
PETER sets his clothes down and shuts the door with a completely red face.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF)
Always the first thing they assume…
He begins to clean up the webbing and thinks back to when he first acquired his webs.
FLASHBACK
PETER, in the school bathroom, discovers that he can fire webbing out of his wrists but it comes out messy and disorganized.
In his room, PETER spends days building wrist devices that streamline the webbing into thin strands.
RETURN
PETER struggles to clean the mess up and resorts to searching "how to destroy spider webs" on the internet. He sees his search history, filled with spider-related finds.
FLASHBACK
PETER walks in the back of a group of classmates through the Oscorp Laboratories. Suddenly he's in pain and he looks down at the spider on his wrist.
RETURN
After cleaning the mess up, PETER, on a whim, searches SPIDER-MAN and gets tons of results. He wades through article after article, discovering that the public hates him. This is a disappointing surprise. PETER sits in his chair, in disbelief.
One article talks about how he "senselessly beat three local men, without any known provocation" and another says that "SERGEI KRAVINOFF, from the hit reality TV program, Kraven The Hunter, is planning on taking down none other than New York's controversial masked vigilante, SPIDER-MAN, for his season four finale. KRAVINOFF cites SPIDER-MAN as not only being a threat to public safety but also as an 'ungodly animal-hybrid, with something to hide, unlike the Avengers', who he later refers to as 'the mightiest heroes on Earth.'"
PETER
(YELLING AT THE COMPUTER)
They weren't that great! Except Ant Man!
PETER isn't too happy about any of this.
ENT. THE DAILY BUGLE
PETER sits in his new cubicle, at the DB, and messes around with the website's code.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Jobs are awesome.
"ONE HOUR LATER"
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF, BORED)
What the heck do I do now? Ugh…
PETER checks the time. It's 4:30.
PETER scrolls through some of the site's news and finds stuff on the fight in Brownsville. An article reads how a slain member of the group was the nephew of a local lobbyist working for the late Leland Owlsely. This takes PETER to various articles related to Wilson Fisk and eventually a diagram created by the late Ben Urich.
PETER frantically begins jotting down every name, date and address he can. He is startled by ROBBIE.
ROBBIE
Hey, Peter, can I get some printer paper in the jolly one's office?
PETER
(STARTLED)
Oh, yeah, sure Mr. Robertson.
ROBBIE
Hey, c'mon, it's Robbie.
PETER
Robbie. Okay Robbie.
ROBBIE
(LOOKING AT PETER'S MONITOR)
I hope you're being careful over here. These are some troubled people.
PETER
Oh, yeah, no, this is just for some school thing.
ROBBIE
(WALKING AWAY)
Alright, kid. (SMILING) Just don't forget to cite your source!
PETER is carrying printer paper through the office, when BETTY stops him.
BETTY
(AWKWARDLY)
Oh, hey Peter!
PETER
(LIKEWISE)
Oh, hey Betty.
BETTY
Is that for JJ, cause JJ needs-
PETER
Yeah.
BETTY
Cool…
AWKWARD SILENCE
BETTY CONT.
So… where do you live? I mean, not, like, in a creepy way.
PETER
Yeah, no, I know. I live in Forest Hills. In Queens.
BETTY
Oh nice. I live in Midtown, actually.
PETER
Wow, nice! My school is actually called Midtown High School, but, y'know, in Queens.
BETTY
Cool… Well my Dad is sort of loaded, so… I mean, I wanna actually work for myself, which is why I even have this job. I think I'm a pretty good employee.
PETER
Well duh, you totally yelled at jolly JJ.
BETTY
I'm very passionate.
PETER
I'm more terse myself.
BETTY
Are you ever laconic? I was laconic once in flight school.
PETER
Okay, you win, I love you forever now.
BETTY
I thought so. (PAUSES) But, anyway, I mostly get away with the yelling because of how much stock my dad owns in this place. I know that's terrible but, well, it is what it is.
PETER
Yeah, you don't have to explain yourself, I love you forever now.
BETTY
Go me. (AWKWARD PAUSE) Hey… wanna go out?
PETER
(SHOCKED)
Um… like, with me?
BETTY
(JOKINGLY)
No, with me.
PETER
(CONFUSED)
I… oh, heh, yeah, like… so… on a date?
BETTY
That was the idea, yeah.
PETER
I… why?
BETTY
(INCREDULOUS)
Yikes, I mean, if you don't want to…
PETER
No! No, I didn't say that! I just… haven't been on many dates. Or, like, any.
BETTY
Seriously? How?!
PETER
(LAUGHING)
Well maybe I shouldn't answer that.
BETTY
Whatever you say.
PETER
But, like, so… yes.
BETTY
I… wait. I forgot the question. Yes to what?
PETER
The date… thing.
BETTY
Oh yeah! Cool. Yay. How about tonight? Around… eight? Nine?
PETER
(CALLING MAY)
Okay! I just have to, like, check with my Aunt.
BETTY
Okay, cool.
AWKWARD WAITING WHILE PHONE RINGS
PETER(ANSWERING PHONE)
Hey Aunt May. Yeah. Oh, yes. I will. I said I will. I will! But- but, um, can I go out later tonight? Eight or nine? With… (WHISPERS) with a girl. Betty. From work… yeah… no, we- we won't! Oh my god, have some faith in me! Yeah. Okay, it's not that big a deal. Yeah. Yes. Mhmm. Okay? I will. Okay. Thanks. Love you, bye. Okay bye!
BETTY
(SMILING AWKWARDLY)
I love her already.
PETER is back at his desk now. He checks the time. It's 7:30.
He stares at his computer screen for a little while. He then notices a little ad on the sidebar, for Roxxon Industries. He stares at it blankly and then freezes.
He suddenly types in Roxxon online and begins looking at old DB articles on him. One thing that comes up is his ties to Fisk as the owner of the holding company.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Well that works.
NEW YORK SKYLINE, THAT NIGHT
PETER, as SPIDER-MAN, swings through the night, tracking down various addresses on the post-it note he took from work. He's got a lot on his mind.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Holy crap! I have superpowers! I know this isn't new information but I have superpowers! And a possible girlfriend! Who's hot! She asked me out! Like, what the hell? Is it Hanukah already?! And I'm talking to myself again! But who cares!
Several dynamic shots show PETER work but it isn't until he comes across a convoy of Roxxon trucks, parked behind a warehouse, that he stops.
He searches the trucks and they're empty. He sneaks through a window and finds that the place is virtually abandoned. There is a large crate marked ATE, hidden under some tarps. PETER searches them and finds vials of orange liquid.
PETER CONT.
(TAKING OUT AND USING HIS PHONE, TO SELF)
I know the others wouldn't need to Google whatever this stuff is but I am not them.
In the corner of his phone's screen, the time is about 8:45. PETER doesn't notice.
PETER searches his phone until he comes across FBI pages on ATE: Artificial Terrigan Enhancer. It's a drug that briefly gives the user superpowers (technically inhuman capabilities) but is very dangerous. Plus, y'know, gives people powers. Bad.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF)
Oh, well that's just peaches and gravy. As if there weren't enough crazy people with too much power already. Just look at what I'mwearing. (LOOKS A VIALS) Is this crap flammable?
PETER smashes all of the vials and lights the whole thing on fire with a lighter, after phoning the fire department from a pay phone. Before he leaves, he finds some labels marked with a code: 10027812. He writes it down.
Once again, PETER uses the internet to find that the code corresponds to Roxxon's source of ATE, in the form of the number of a facility run by Hammer Industries.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF, COMEDICALLY DRAMTIC)
It's hammer time…
As PETER replaces his phone, it's emphasized that the clock reads 9:55.
END ACT TWO
ENT. PARKER RESIDENCE
Suddenly it's the next morning. PETER is crashed on his bed and AUNT MAY calls for him.
AUNT MAY
(YELLING FROM OUTSIDE THE DOOR)
Peter! Get up if you plan on eating! Most doctors recommend you do!
PETER and MAY are getting ready for school and work. As he eats a bowl of cereal, MAY turns the news on and ties her shoes.
AUNT MAY
So much for eating store-brand cereal first.
NEWSCASTER
…for the first time in months. In other news, the local vigilante known as Spider-Man has been charged with arson after security footage revealed him leaving the burning warehouse in Manhattan on Monday. In response to this, the New York City Police Department has officially issued a warrant for his arrest. The warrant was issued last night and a local FOX 10 reporter had the chance to speak with Justin Hammer, a native New Yorker, about it, during her interview with him at the pier last night, where he was preparing for his upcoming press conference. He had some surprisingly strong words.
PETER
(TO SELF, UPSET)
That was wordy…
HAMMER
(ON TV)
Well, uh, y'know Karen, it's the world we live in now where a kid can run around with red and blue spandex and shoot webbing out of his hands but the weird part is that he committed arson. I mean, heh, back in my day, Iron Man was the weirdest thing around. At least Stark looked cool. Y'know before he got me unjustly thrown in prison… Thank god the legal system wised up, am I right?! …Anyway, the bottom line is this: a mask won't protect him. The people of New York are the strongest people in the world. Period. You wanna dance around and terrorize us like some yutz? Well you'd better bring you're A-game because we will come after you and we will take you down.
The news team eats it up while PETER scowls and MAY pipes in.
AUNT MAY
Thank god. I saw that strange man swinging on a web thing by work once. Wait, I didn't tell you about that, did I?
PETER
(STIFLING ANGER, NOT LOOKING AT HER)
Yeah, I'm sure the police will be able to catch him. That will totally work. Yup. Absolutely.
AUNT MAY
(KISSING HIM GOODBYE)
Well, honey, here's a twenty for dinner tonight. I don't want you buying anymore of those greasy street vendor foods, okay? You know they upset your tummy.
PETER
(STILL PISSED)
Okay. Bye. Love you.
AUNT MAY
(GOING OUT THE DOOR)
You too!
Immediately, PETER sprints upstairs to his computer and hops online. After he does some searches we see the image of a Hammer Industries facility in Jersey. He grabs his costume and the scene cuts.
ENT. AUNT MAY'S CAR
MAY happily drives to work, drinking her coffee and singing along to Megadeath on the radio. Her phone rings.
AUNT MAY
(TO HERSELF)
Tssk, the Bluetooth! (ANSWERING THE PHONE)
Hello? Yes this is his aunt. Well, no, I am his legal guardian. No I haven't really seen them in a while… is- is something wrong with his grades? I… he hasn't…?
A shocked then angry look dawns on her.
ENT. HAMMER FACILITY IN NEW JERSEY
PETER, as Spidey, swings on to the big facility and the shot of the building lines up with the one from his computer. Obviously, he should be at school right now. He finds a large steam stack and dives through it down into the factory. He sneaks through it, tracing numbers beside doors until he reaches 10027812. He opens it and finds a chamber with a man inside.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Oh my God…
He looks around and sees experimental equipment and study papers. The codename SANDMAN is listed everywhere. He then takes out his phone and begins photographing everything he can. When he feels he has enough he takes his leave.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF)
Annie Leibowitz has got nothing' on me.
After he's gone, the shot slowly closes in on the chamber. The man inside is naked but looks to be made of sand, hence the title. He slowly turns to dust, smiling all the while.
ENT. PARKER RESIDENCE
PETER climbs into his bedroom window and changes back into his school clothes. He heads downstairs and stops when he sees MAY waiting for him in the living room.
PETER
(SCHOCKED)
I…
AUNT MAY
Wanna hear something funny?
PETER
Aunt May… I… I didn't-
AUNT MAY
I got a phone call when I was heading out. Can you guess who it was from?
PETER
(LOST FOR WORDS)
I don't… I don't know.
AUNT MAY
(FURIOUS)
It was from the school! Remember school?! Did you forget about school, Peter?!
PETER
No, I just-
AUNT MAY
You just what?! Just what?! What in the hell could possibly be going through your head right now? That brain of yours and you don't even- you don't even what? You don't think! You don't think and- and- I don't know…
PETER
Please, Aunt May, just… just please calm down.
AUNT MAY
I can't comprehend this. You… your grades used to be such a point of pride for you. What happened?
PETER
Can I just, like, explain?
AUNT MAY
What is there to explain? You've been skipping school! But, oh, you have no problem showing up for your little job to talk with your little girlfriend.
PETER
Oh crap, Betty!
MAY looks at PETER with a sort of quizzical exasperation.
PETER CONT.
I… I forgot. I had a date with her… yesterday.
AUNT MAY
Are you kidding me? What are you doing all day, Peter?
PETER
I take walks.
AUNT MAY
(DUMBFOUNDED)
You… you take walks.
PETER
I take walks. And… and I read. I plan. I sit. I think. I worry.
AUNT MAY
What? What are you saying?
PETER
I'm saying… I don't know. I get caught up in what's going on in my head. And I panic. I mean, look at us. My parents are dead. Uncle Ben is dead. Everybody but us is dead. I worry that maybe, just maybe, school won't be enough to guarantee a safe future. I worry that I'll be alone… And… and school won't do a thing! What if you're next? Then what? I do everything I can to be prepared. If that means missing school then… oh well. I'll go back. When I'm ready.
AUNT MAY
Peter… that's just it. You don't get it. The school… you've missed more days than you can make up. They said you'd have been kicked out by now. You'd have failed all your classes and you'd have to take them again next year. The only reason they are giving you another chance is because of Ben and because of what a good student you used to be. Peter… you go back to school or you start from scratch. This is it. This is your last chance.
PETER pauses for a few moments.
PETER
I don't… what do I do?
AUNT MAY
You go! You go to school and you get A's in all of your classes! If you don't? If you don't… I- you're on your own.
PETER
I'm on my own?
AUNT MAY
You have money. You have a job. You go buy yourself an apartment somewhere.
PETER
(SCHOCKED)
You'd kick me out?!
AUNT MAY
(CRYING)
I can't watch another member of this family destroy themselves. If you want to… go ahead. But do it where I don't have to helplessly watch.
The pair are silent for a while.
PETER
I just… there's so much…
PETER struggles for an explanation but can't find one.
AUNT MAY
Peter. It's your responsibility to go to school. It's what Ben wanted. Please.
The magic words are spoken.
PETER
I… okay. Okay. I will.
AUNT MAY
You will?
PETER
I'll go to school. I'll buckle down.
MAY hugs him tightly.
AUNT MAY
This is good. This is good. Don't let me down. Please. I don't want you gone.
PETER
(BLANK EXPRESSION)
Okay. I won't.
A brief sequence shows PETER waking the next morning with a sigh. After showering and dressing with an entrapped expression, he goes on his computer and deletes his Roxxon/Hammer/Kingpin-related search history.
He opens a hidden floorboard containing his costume, web shooters, research papers and the photos he recently took of the Hammer facility. He reluctantly closes the floorboard, leaving it all behind and heads out for school.
ENT. MIDTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
PETER walks through the front doors to the school with a heavy heart. As he walks the halls the audio fades out, hopefully conveying his isolation and inability to relate to his peers. He was a superhero after all.
MR. BENDIS hands PETER some makeup work and PETER solemnly accepts it. MR. BENDIS' expression, after PETER walks away, is one of genuine concern.
In English class, PETER and his classmates are handed forms to fill out and, though he is out of the loop, the rest of the class seems to understand them.
TEACHER
(TO CLASS)
Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Hey! Quiet back there. I know you're all very excited to be a part of this and I highly encourage that you do take this opportunity and transform it into a learning experience. When they start filming in the cafeteria today, we all have to be at our most respectable. Hear that, Flash?
FLASH
Loud and clear!
TEACHER
Good. Remember to get your parents to sign these forms by the end of next week if you do not want to be seen on Kraven The Hunter when it airs. Your face will be tiled out. For the rest of you: you may be on TV. Don't ruin it.
As TEACHER lets the kids chat and pack up their things, signifying the end of the period, PETER walks up to her for his makeup papers.
PETER
(WORRIED)
So… what exactly is going on with this Kraven guy?
TEACHER
(HANDING HIM WORK)
I think you have more important things to worry about right now, Mr. Parker.
PETER
(TAKING THE PAPERS)
Yeah, uh thanks, but um, like, why is he coming… is he looking for Spider-Man?
TEACHER
(EXASPERATED)
Look, Peter. It doesn't matter. Him and his show are filming some scene today where he looks for Spider-Man, yes. But you need to not think about that and buckle down! You're obviously very distracted right now but this school has given you more chances than most and that's because we believe in you! (PUTS A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER) So do your work.
PETER
Yeah. I will. And I really appreciate what you guys have done for me, don't get me wrong, I'm just… I don't… why the heck is he looking for Spider-Man here? I mean, are we in danger?
TEACHER
(SMILING)
Oh, okay. I see. No Peter, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Spider-Man has been rumored- and I can't emphasize the rumored part enough- he has been rumored to have been spotted in the area. It's just some filler scene they're filming. Nothing to worry about.
PETER
(NERVOUSLY)
Yeah…
Camera focuses on his expression. He's not scared so much as concerned.
ENT. MIDTOWN HIGH CAFETERIA
PETER sits alone in a corner of his lunch table, looking over and doing some of his makeup work. He looks very encumbered but is determined to get it done. Suddenly the cafeteria erupts into cheers as the attractive SPOKESWOMAN and a large sound and camera crew enter.
SPOKESWOMAN
(OVER MICROPHONE, VEILING ANIMOSITY/CONDESCENSION)
Hey dudes! So "pumped" to be here at Midtown High… in Queens… ! As you all know, Kraven The Hunter himself is coming to film a pivotal scene for his upcoming Spider-Man special! Woo hoo! Now, what we all need from you guys is for you to just. Act. Natural. Pretend he's not even here. Don't address him or any other crew members unless addressed first and speak amongst yourselves at a low volume. Do that and you might just be on Kraven The Hunter this spring, only on ABC!
FLASH
Hell yesss!
SPOKESWOMAN
(VEILING DISGUST)
Yeah! That's the spirit! Anyway, he'll be here in less than ten seconds! Oh yeah, and Mr. Kravinoff will not be signing autographs today…
KRAVEN bursts through the doors and the students suddenly quiet down and act natural, trying to not stare at the celebrity. PETER tries to focus on his work but is obviously nervous that KRAVEN will somehow identify him.
KRAVEN slowly stalks around the room, intensely watching students and scanning the environment. He touches the walls and floors, apparently searching for something. He sniffs around too, like a wolf on the prowl. It's all very dramatic.
As he comes closer to PETER, PETER buries his head deeper in his books. KRAVEN stops right next to him. At this point every person in the room is intensely watching PETER. FLASH stifles laughter. KRAVEN stares at PETER good and long. The suspense builds until, finally, the silence is broken with a glib comment.
PETER
(FORCING THE JOKE)
Agh! You caught me, I'm Spider-Man!
Suddenly, someone else bursts into the room, running across the cafeteria, in a cheap nylon costume.
STUDENT
(DRESSED AS SPIDER-MAN)
Blahhh! Catch me if you can Kraven! It is I, the sensational Spider-Man!
The imposter gives him the bird and sprints, as various forms of authority give chase. KRAVEN angrily leaves in disgust and the cafeteria picks it up again.
PETER sighs with relief.
ENT. DAILY BUGLE
PETER sits at his desk in the BUGLE and thinks hard. The expression on his face reveals hard decision-making in progress and finally determination takes hold.
With an almost defiant spirit, PETER reaches into his backpack and pulls out an envelope marked "HAMMER=BAD."
He sneaks into JJ's office and slips the envelope onto his desk.
As he steps out, BETTY is waiting for him. She looks pissed.
PETER
Betty! I- I thought you weren't here.
BETTY
(STERNLY)
I wasn't. Now I am.
Silence. Awkward.
PETER
I, uh, I've been meaning to apologize to you about our date… or lack thereof.
BETTY
Yeah, uh, what happened there?
PETER begins to look for an excuse but stops himself.
PETER
(IN RAPID-FIRE)
Honestly? Nothing. I don't know. I screwed up. I just- I don't know. I forgot… Which would be stupid enough if it weren't for the fact that I've never even been on a date before. And you're really nice and I basically blew you off. So… to answer your question: I suck. Sorry.
BETTY
(UNDERSTANDING, AFTER LOOKING HIM OVER)
Hey, I mean, I'll get over it. I just- y'know, I don't wanna put myself out there for nothing.
PETER
No, please, feel free to put yourself out there. I am so sorry. I'm insanely stupid. My I.Q. is like 170 but I couldn't remember a date. The date. With… with you. You're like… look at you. I may be stupid but I don't consider myself a dick, not on purpose anyway. But my point is even if I was a self-proclaimed dick, there's no way I wouldn't go out with you.
BETTY
(CONFUSED)
Okay… you've lost me.
PETER
I'm… I'm sorry.
BETTY
Okay. So… wanna maybe try again?
PETER
Yes. Yes! I will totally remember it this time!
BETTY
You sure?
PETER
Absolutely! It'll be a double, super date! Y'know to make up for our last one.
BETTY
Sounds good to me.
PETER
Yay!
PETER pauses, remembering his conversation with MAY. Which flashes on screen.
PETER CONT.
Hey, uh, I've got a lot of school stuff going on right now, which is actually partially responsible for my forgetfulness of late, and I was thinking I could text you when I'm free. Cause, believe it or not, I actually am busy. It makes no sense, I know.
BETTY
(HALF PLAYING, HALF SERIOUS)
Hey, that's cool as long as you can show up to the actual thing.
BETTY smiles and leaves. PETER watches her walk away with a dopey smile and then remembers why he got up in the first place. He sneaks into JJJ's office, takes one last long look at the envelope and slips it under a loose file. He walks out.
ENT. PARKER HOME
DINNER TIME
PETER and MAY sit at their usual spots eating dinner. There's a small amount of tension in the room but they both try to alleviate it and speak up at the same time.
AUNT MAY
(OVER PETER)
How is school going?
PETER
(OVER MAY)
So, uh, how's work going?
They chuckle and PETER lets may go.
AUNT MAY
It's, uh, it's going okay. There's a lot of it, but it's not bad.
PETER
Yeah? That's good. You didn't have to give anyone any sponge baths, right?
AUNT MAY
Actually, I've bathed more large, hairy men than I care to admit.
PETER
Well that's mildly disturbing.
AUNT MAY
Eh, you get used to it. It's the large, hairy women that still scare me.
PETER
Well okay, then.
AUNT MAY
How are your grades looking?
PETER
Well, I have all C's but a week ago I had all F's. So… progress.
AUNT MAY
That's all I ask.
PETER
Yeah…
PETER's thoughts seem to trail off. MAY notices.
AUNT MAY
I… was just really afraid you'd make mistakes like everyone else in this family. I guess I'm still afraid, actually.
PETER
I know.
AUNT MAY
I don't think you do. Everything you were saying was true. Your father is gone. Your mother, my sister, is gone. Ben is gone. It's not irrational for you to be afraid you're next. Or me. But it's like God. Is he real? I don't know. I'm not the person to ask. Is there a Heaven or Hell, and if so, is it Catholic, Protestant, Lutheran? I don't know. But I don't worry about it. I do the best I can for you and me and all those patients. I do the best I can to be a good person. That's all anyone can do. All you can do. And going to school and expanding your mind is the best way to do it. No matter what might happen.
PETER
(AFTER THINKING)
You're right, you're right. I mean, I think I kind of knew that, but, I don't know, I was just shocked about the prospect of getting kicked out. But I really shouldn't have been so indignant. And I shouldn't have been stupid enough to skip school for so long.
As PETER thinks on it, brief shots of SPIDER-MAN flash on screen, underlying his true meaning.
PETER CONT.
I honestly feel… embarrassed now, to think I was doing the right thing. It was childish. I thought I was making some kind of small difference but I was wasting my time and everyone else's. Like I was trying to be something I really just… am not. I didn't even know how to do it. Or what I was looking for… but… it was- it was just so dumb.
AUNT MAY
You're not dumb, Peter. I'm sure you had your reasons.
PETER
I know I'm not. And I did. But they were still dumb.
AUNT MAY
Don't beat yourself up. We all make-
PETER
Mistakes. I know. I'm just glad it's over. That's all that matters now.
AUNT MAY
Agreed.
The TV has been playing in the background but PETER notices a news bulletin in relation to HAMMER. He excuses himself in time to see something very bad.
NEWSCASTER ONE
…Mayor's office has decided that Justin Hammer will be given the key to the city immediately after his press conference, tomorrow afternoon, at 3:00 PM. The presentation will be on the new Hammer Industries New York nuclear power plant, which will supposedly make brown outs and city-wide electrical issues a thing of the past.
NEWSCASTER TWO
Oh boy Barbara, I know I'm excited about not having to deal with anymore brownouts.
NEWSCASTER ONE
I concur, Jim!
CANNED LAUGHTER
PETER looks like he just got the wind knocked out of him.
END ACT THREE
ENT. MIDTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
PETER walks through the halls solemnly. He stops by his lockers and overhears kids discussing SPIDER-MAN… again.
BOY
No, he's so lame.
GIRL
He's gross.
FLASH
He's not! He's so awesome!
BOY
He dresses like a friggin tool.
GIRL
He's gross.
FLASH
No, it's- he was on the wrestling circuit before!
BOY
Why was he wrestling?
GIRL
He's gross.
FLASH
It was before he was a superhero. I heard Tony Stark might have made his current costume.
BOY
Oh, so he hangs out with the douche that tried to kill Captain Freaking America?
GIRL
He's gross.
FLASH
I don't think it was that simple.
BOYDude, they were fighting right there. I thought one of them was gonna blow up or something.
GIRL
They're gross.
FLASH
Whatever, man, you guys are stupid. Hey, Parker! You like Spidey right?
PETER
Are we… are we calling him that now?
FLASH
Yes or no question!
PETER
I think he's kind of… he's childish. You can't solve all your problems by hitting people.
BOY
Oh snap! I win, haircut!
GIRL
(TO FLASH)
It's gross.
FLASH
Man, you would say that, wouldn't you, Puny Parker.
At this point, PETER is already on uneven emotional footing and is especially fed up. The comment sets him off more than usual.
PETER
Wow! That's so cute, you made an alliteration!
FLASH
Oh shut up.
PETER
How about you shut up, you stupid jackass!
FLASH
(SHOCKED)
What- what did you just say to me?!
PETER
(MOCKING)
Oh look at me, I call myself Flash because my real name is Eugene! For some reason, I think that's less gay, which, by the way, I am extremely self conscious about.
FLASH
(RUNNING UP TO HIM)
Do you want me to break you?!
PETER
Wow, your go-to. Can't stand that I'm right?
FLASH
I am this close to flipping you over.
PETER
Go ahead, Eugene. Take your best shot. See what happens.
By now, a circle of kids have gathered, chanting "fight."
BOY
Somebody about to get roasted!
GIRL
God, you're an idiot.
BOY
(TO GIRL)
You ever say anything positive?
PETER
C'mon, Eugene. Fight me. Mister competitive. Like that'll somehow make up for what I assume is your father's lack of affection towards you.
FLASH throws several punches and PETER easily dodges them.
PETER is about to retaliate when school staff show up.
STAFF
Hey! Boys! Break it up, break it up! The hell's the matter with you kids? Thompson! Why were you trying to hit him?
FLASH
Cause he's a piece of crap!
PETER
Ow, my soul.
TEACHER
You two, stop this now!
PETER
He's so lucky I've got a heart of gold.
The audio cuts as the group is broken up. FLASH and PETER exchange dirty looks.
ENT. BIOLOGY CLASS
PETER sits in his chair, looking just as he did in the very beginning of the film. He looks up at the clock. It seems to be moving in slow motion. He looks down at his desk, which is covered in papers marked "make up work" in red ink.
We see a flash of last night's discussion with Aunt May as well as the one with her where she threatened to kick him out, while crying. PETER tries to situate himself and get focused.
MR. BENDIS
(TO THE CLASS)
…so, keeping that in mind, we can see how the Prokaryote without peptidoglycan is part of the Archaea domain. Which means that the one with is part of the what domain, Mr. Par-?
PETER
(MONOTONE)
Bacteria.
MR. BENDIS
Yes… thank you. So! That means that…
The audio fades out again as PETER stares at the clock. He suddenly realizes what time it is (3:00) and sneaks his phone out. He tries to hide it while streaming the live press conference of HAMMER's new power plant.
ENT. HAMMER'S PRESS CONFERENCE
HAMMER walks up to the mic, doing a dance the whole way, reminiscent of the one from Iron Man 2. The crowd is in the palm of his hand.
The Mayor stands off to the side, happy to be presenting his key to the city. A giant screen behind HAMMER displays live feed of some scientists at the plant, working.
HAMMER
(OVER THE MIC)
Yes! Yes! Hells yeah, New York City! Yeah!
The audience calms down until all we can hear is the clicking of the cameras.
HAMMER CONT.
Okay, kids. Here we go. I am ecstatic to be here today, presenting something that I think everyone is gonna love. That sexy little vixen over the water there, is named The Hammer Industries New York Power Plant. I know, I know, the name isn't quite as fun as the big spherical roof thing but I think you're gonna like what it means. What it means, is clean, cheap, renewable energy for all of New York City. We're talkin' Manhattan. We're talkin' the Bronx. We're talkin' Queens. Brooklyn. And I haven't forgotten about those crazy cats over at Staten Island!
The audience is more jovial than any press conference I've ever seen. In the classroom, PETER rolls his eyes.
HAMMER CONT.
So not only is the cost of electric living in NYC gonna be cut in half (THE AUDIENCE LOVES THIS PART MOST)… yeah, I know… but there aren't gonna be any brownouts any time soon.
The audio for the live feed is silent but we cut to inside the plant where we can hear what two workers are saying.
HAMMER
(QUITELY IN THE BACKGROUND)
…Yessiree, I did. And it was great! Can you blame me? Russian Ballet! She was like, twenty-something and, oh my god, those legs. The things she could do with her appendages. Anyway, my point was that if you're gonna spend money on something it had better be worth it. And this power plant is worth the taxes. Look! In the long run you save money on electric so who cares?! Be selfless. You're helping your fellow New Yorker with costs…
SCIENTIST ONE
My God, does this guy love the sound of his own voice.
SCIENTIST TWO
Ha. And you don't? What else is on.
SCIENTIST ONE
Um, according to the guide we can watch Real Housewives of some such or other, or we can watch… holy crap Breaking Bad is on!
In the background, slowly and subtlety, sand is beginning to form.
SCIENTIST TWO
Now?
SCIENTIST ONE
Yeah but… ugh see, you weren't this caught up were you?
SCIENTIST TWO
Oh yeah, no, don't watch it. Spoilers.
SCIENTIST ONE
Sometimes I loathe you.
SCIENTIST TWO
I'm caught up on Game of Thrones.
SCIENTIST ONE
Yeah, cause we get HBO on this thing. Use your head.
Back at the classroom, PETER is looking slightly disgusted. Then he begins to notice the sand formations in the back of the lab.
HAMMER
Exactly. That's what I said but you'd better believe my lawyer, Goldbergsteinblatt or something, was not about to let that happen. Any other questions?
PHIL URICH
Phil Urich, Daily Bugle. I was wondering about the dangers of having a nuclear power plant right next to the most populated city in America. Anything to be concerned about?
HAMMER
Uh, yeah there are things to be concerned about: electricity at half the cost!
The sand has formed into a man and is starting to destroy things in the far back of the plant.
PHIL URICH
But what about reports that you paid for the Mayor's recent trip to-
HAMMER
Yes, you in the back there with that adorable little pencil skirt!
FEMALE REPORTER
The New York Post. Now that you have so much business here in the city, will we be seeing more of you on a regular basis?
HAMMER
What's your name gorgeous?
FEMALE REPORTER
(GIGGLING)
Uh, Kristie.
HAMMER
Kristie. Wow. I'll tell you what, Kristie: you and I can talk all about my plans in New York over dinner at this little Italian Bistro over on-
PHIL URICH
Hammer!
HAMMER
Uh, that was rude. Anyway, I was-
PHIL URICH
Hammer! Behind you!
HAMMER
Nice try, ears, I'm not falling for that one.
The crowd begins to panic and PETER is shocked.
On the screen, SANDMAN has brutally ripped the room apart, murdering the two scientists. His face is right up at the camera, smiling evilly.
HAMMER CONT.
(TURNING AROUND)
What are you guys- Jesus, Joseph and Mary!
SANDMAN backs away from the camera, constantly smiling and staring, as he begins to show off and mutilate the corpses to the camera. Audience members shriek.
PETER stares in disbelief. MR. BENDIS continues to speak and the class is unaware of the drama. PETER doesn't no what to do.
HAMMER
Uh- uh- don't worry guys! The, uh, the police are gonna be there soon. We'll get this guy. (TO AN AV GUY) Hey! Turn the damn thing off!
The man cuts the source and the screen goes dark. Sirens ring out and before long helicopters can be heard.
The audio picks up as PETER panics. We see quick shots of the conversations with Aunt May. He can't decide what he should be doing. He looks to the windows and sees helicopters in the distance. He looks at the clock and then at his work. His thoughts and the audio are interrupted by-
MR. BENDIS
Peter! Really? Give me your phone. You shouldn't have that out in class.
PETER is frozen. The class stares at him.
MR. BENDIS CONT.
Peter. Now. After everything, you're gonna use your phone during a lesson? (PETER DOESN'T MOVE) I said now, Peter. Now means now.
PETER throws caution to the wind and silently stands up, blank expression on his face. He walks to the door.
MR. BENDIS CONT.
Peter Parker! Get back in here!
Going out the door, PETER stops.
PETER
Or what!? I could teach this class.
He slams the door. The class laughs and BENDIS stares in disbelief.
Outside it, PETER obviously regrets what he said but runs, anyway.
ENT. NEW YORK SKYLINE
Cue theme song.
PETER bursts out of his house in full costume and swings as fast as he can to the power plant, following helicopters.
A large panorama captures the height and scope of the scene.
As he reaches the river, we zoom in on the helicopter pilots.
PILOT ONE
So what exactly are we dealing with here, over?
PILOT TWO
Roger, we've got a suspected nuclear terrorist and a bunch of hostages, over.
PILOT ONE
Roger, well, yeah, I was there for the briefing too. I mean what-
PILOT ONE is speechless.
PILOT TWO
Say again?
PILOT ONE
Uh… you've… you have a stowaway, pilot.
PILOT TWO
(LOOKING AROUND)
I- I have a…?
PILOT ONE
(TO MISSION CONTROL)
You see him too? Yeah, he's- okay.
PILOT TWO
Who's he?
PILOT ONE
I'm clear to engage.
PILOT TWO
Clear to engage what?
PILOT ONE fires artillery at PETER, who was hanging upside down beneath the helicopter.
PILOT TWO CONT.
What the frick, Mike!
PETER
(JUMPING FROM COPTER)
Well this seems gratuitous!
PETER leaps off the copter, dodging bullets as he falls towards the island where the nuclear facility is located. The camera follows him as he attempts to recover himself before hitting ground.
PETER CONT.
(FLAILING)
I know I should be used to this crap but oh my God!
Near the building, PETER fires several webs which help break his fall but still results in him crashing through a skylight and slamming onto the floor, inside the facility. His costume is shredded by the glass and he lands with a hard thud.
PETER CONT.
(WINCING)
Ta da…
He looks around the large room. The sight is a massacre. There is broken machinery and equipment everywhere. Sand covers the floors and bloodstains streak the walls. PETER is stunned. There are groans coming from the injured engineers and one man harshly, quietly calls to PETER.
SURVIVOR
Hey… hey…
PETER
Oh man, I'll be right there!
PETER runs to his side. The man is coughing up blood and covered in cuts and bruises.
The SURVIVOR says something but it is too quiet to hear.
PETER
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
SURVIVOR
(FAINTLY)
Run… run…
PETER'S spider-sense blares but not quickly enough. A huge burst of sand and debris hits him like a train, knocking him across the room, into a broken monitor.
PETER groans, struggling to regain his senses, when he is lifted and thrown again, by more sand. He crashes into a corner and looks up. SANDMAN stands over him, a cloud from the waist down. He is a good seven feet tall.
PETER
(COUGHING)
Well, hello darling. How may I be of serv-
He is struck in the gut and flung across the room. Again. PETER is ready for the next one. He leaps out of the way as SANDMAN strikes and continues to do so as he questions him.
SANDMAN
They told me you'd come.
PETER
Great. Who told you?
SANDMAN
The ones.
PETER
(DODGING MORE SAND)
Well that narrows it down.
SANDMAN
He needs to die.
PETER
(FLAILING)
Okay, well who's he?
SANDMAN
The one who made this!
SANDMAN blasts sand into PETER'S face, knocking him in his butt. Before he attacks again, PETER interjects.
PETER
(COUGHING, WINCING)
Wait, wait, wait! Can we please stop hitting me please?! (THERE'S A PAUSE) Thank you! Okay, now who made this? I don't know you.
SANDMAN looks puzzled.
SANDMAN
(READYING FOR ATTACK)
I know you know, don't lie!
PETER
Dude, I have no idea who you are! Like, none. You could be my Dad, I seriously wouldn't know.
SANDMAN
They told me it would fix me. It didn't! Look at me!
PETER
Yeah, I'm looking, big guy. I'm looking.
SANDMAN
Well do you see?
PETER
You, uh, you have some pretty nifty tricks there?
SANDMAN
I'm a monster! The carbon-based silicates are in my blood. I don't have blood, in me, what am I, no bones, no skin, just teeth…
PETER
Uh… yeah. Okay. All I heard was carbon-based silicates (TO SELF) …which is actually pretty awesome… (TO SANDMAN)But I still don't get what made you.
SANDMAN
Who made me!
PETER
Or who!
SANDMAN
The Hammer.
A pause.
PETER
Oh. Justin Hammer. Duh. I knew that.
SANDMAN
Don't say the name! Don't say the name! I'll eat his skin!
PETER
Yeah, yeah, no doubt… So, uh, you're here to kill he-who-shall-not-be-named?
SANDMAN
What?
PETER
(EXASPERATED)
You want to kill the one who made you, yes?
SANDMAN
Yes! Yes!
PETER
Hey, look man, you're preaching to the choir. I hate that greased up douche pants.
SANDMAN
So you can help me kill him?
PETER
Well, first of all, Sandy… can I call you that? Sandy. First of all, you just beat the crap out of me. That was rude. Secondly, and more importantly, you just killed dozens of innocent people who were only doing their jobs. I'm not a fan of that. And third, you can't just kill the guy. It's not that simple. And it isn't exactly right-
SANDMAN
Help me kill him or I kill you!
PETER
Or- or you could let me stop him and you could turn yourself in, maybe reverse the effects of whatever happened to you. Try to lead a normal life. No more bloodshed.
SANDMAN stares for a moment. Then he throws everything he has into an attack. PETER dodges it and proceeds to punch SANDMAN repeatedly.
PETER CONT.
Dick move, Sandy!
At first the attacks seem to hurt him but then he hardens his face and PETER busts his hand.
PETER CONT.
Ow! God, what the heck, Sandy?!
The two continue to fight as PETER leaps around the room trying to not get hit. Finally, SANDMAN grabs him and begins to squeeze hard.
PETER CONT.
(IN PAIN)
I just… don't… like you… like that!
PETER uses weblines to pull open vents that shoot hot steam at SANDMAN. This loosens the grip but it isn't enough. As he frees himself, PETER'S right arms is snapped completely backwards and he screams in agony.
As SANDMAN recovers himself, PETER stands wearily, looking at his arm. SANDMAN takes the opportunity to summon all his energy and knock him clean out the skylight he came in.
A shot carefully tracks, as PETER goes flying out of the building, through the sky and onto a nearby dock. He is immediately knocked unconscious.
The screen is black. There are voices arguing. The screen adjusts to the sight of several SWAT team members and government officials arguing over PETER'S body. It's sunset now.
CAPTAIN
… is my jurisdiction, not yours! You can't just waltz in here and-
OFFICIAL
Hell I can't! I'm federal! As in the entire country! See the badge?
CAPTAIN
Ma'am, you can kindly take that badge and shove it up your-
OFFICIAL
Are you stupid?! Would you like me to arrest you too? This illegal genetic mutation is property of the United States Federal government, Mr. Compensation Complex.
CAPTAIN
Oh, I'm sorry, what did I just hear?
OFFICIAL
I think you heard me clearly enough!
CAPTAIN
Men, feel free to ignore this delightfully stupid young lady and grab ahold of that freak!
OFFICIAL
Stand down, Captain! Stand down!
PETER has slowly arisen throughout the argument. He is in handcuffs. He struggles to break free of them due to his broken arm, but does so quietly and painfully.
OFFICIAL CONT.
I swear to God almighty, if you don't get your team out of here right now, I will have the whole brigade on your ass.
CAPTAIN
Yeah, see what happens, blondie. This is my get, so you better step the hell back!
OFFICIAL
Oh, I'm sorry, was that a threat I just heard? Are you threatening federal police?!
PETER
Look, it's Charlton Heston!
Everybody looks away and PETER dives into the river and swims as fast as he can to the Manhattan shore. Bullets whiz past him in the water, which clouds red from his blood.
Love Like a Sunset Part 1 by PHOENIX plays.
The following is basically the best chase scene ever. At least that's how I picture it. Forgive the poorly written description. And bear in mind that the entire scene directly juxtaposes the music.
Broken arm and all, PETER runs across the docks away from police gunfire. As it gets darker outside, police are dispatched and squad cars are seen in the distance. PETER keeps running through crowds near the docks, across a bustling street and sloppily parkours up and over low rooftops.
As he runs and leaps, cradling his arm, a police copter soars in and takes fire. PETER struggles to stay out of the spotlight and ducks into the shadows, eventually taking cover behind a rooftop entrance. In the darkness and in desperation, PETER forces his arm back into place with a loud crack and a soft scream.
As the music hits a fever pitch, PETER sprints for his life, wringing his arm out and working his way up higher and higher into the NYC skyline. The city is nearly at dusk now and the sky is a dark pink. Approaching the end of a roof and looking out over a gap where an intersection lies, too big to jump, PETER considers himself.
As the helicopter closes in and the arm fires up, PETER takes a literal leap of faith, firing webbing from the hurt arm to capture himself. The music hits its peak. In slowmotion, PETER poorly flings himself into a large open window and into an open shopping mall. As the glass is broken and gunfire hails, PETER is shot squarely in the other arm. The music stutters as he recovers and looks around. People freak out as he begins to run, now limping and leaving a trail of blood. SWAT team members close in on his position, coming up elevators and stairs, and readying their weapons.
PETER quickly limps past several crowds and stores and ducks into a large department store. As SWAT members follow and point weapons at him, he breaks out into a full sprint, despite extreme pain, grabbing a hoodie and pair of sweatpants off their racks. He goes around a tight corner and ducks into a claustrophobic bathroom. As he webs up the door, SWAT arrive and begin to threaten him with weapons. The music drowns out the audio. PETER tears his costume off, bandages his wounds with webbing and throws on the new clothes before ripping open a large air vent and leaping into it… just as bullets rip through the door. The SWAT team opens it and finds nothing but a shredded costume and a puddle of blood.
The music fades out as PETER sneaks through the vent and out into another part of the mall. He cuts through a locker room, stealing a pair of flip flops. He exits into a tight corridor wearing them and heads down a narrow stairwell. As he does so, he begins to stumble and holds himself up before vomiting on the steps. He bursts out the back doors and into the illuminated city streets, incognito. PETER looks at his arm and stops, thinking about his options. He solemnly comes to a conclusion.
We cut as PETER silently wanders into an emergency room. As the audio fades out and we hear a high-pitched ringing, PETER collapses onto the floor, garnering the attention of the staff. He's loaded onto a gurney and nurses remove his hoodie. The wound is bad but the webbing is noticeably absent and he is wheeled into an operating room. Back in the waiting room, AUNT MAY stands with other staff members, in shock. However, she never saw his face and the shot focuses on the ceiling, where the security cameras were webbed over.
The shot abruptly cuts to PETER in a hospital bed, reminiscent of the opening to 28 Days Later. As PETER awakens, he can make out an OFFICER, DOCTOR and NURSE talking just beyond his curtain.
OFFICER
So… he just showed up?
NURSE
He just showed up.
DOCTOR
A bullet in his arm and a fracture in the other. Looked like someone just beat the crap out of him and shot him.
OFFICER
Speaking of, did he arrive by himself or via the "Homeboy Ambulance Service?"
NURSE
I literally just watched him walk in and then fall completely flat on his face. Poor kid.
DOCTOR
Well let's not make assumptions just yet. He wasn't wearing the shirt he was shot in.
OFFICER
There's something you don't see every day.
DOCTOR
Or, in my case, ever.
OFFICER
Cool if I go in and check on him? Try to get some ID?
DOCTOR
Sure, just go on in.
NURSE
He should be asleep.
The OFFICER pulls back the curtain to reveal an empty bed.
PETER'S foot slips through a ceiling tile.
DOCTOR
He's not here?
NURSE
He was here! He was just here! I haven't left his side!
OFFICER
Greeeat. I'm calling it in…
On the hospital's roof, PETER stands in the cool air. It's completely dark out and PETER is totally isolated. The look on his face is one of utter defeat and hopelessness. He's given up.
Sometimes by MY BLOODY VALENTINE plays.
ENT. PARKER RESIDENCE
Now for probably the most important scene in the whole film: In the darkness, PETER crawls into his bedroom window and silently puts on some real clothes. He falls onto his bed and stares at the ceiling, massaging his various bruises.
As PETER thinks about it, a shot of the classroom he left is seen. Guilt covers his face. Wincing, he stands up and retrieves his box with another costume inside and pair of web shooters. He stares at it for a minute then scoffs at himself, tossing the box to the corner of the room.
He grabs a remote, flipping on his TV. SANDMAN is on the news, apparently holding a press conference. The ticker identifies him as "Flint Marko, former Hammer Industries employee." MARKO looks very sinister. Once again, PETER becomes agitated, while not really listening to the broadcast and turns it off. He sits up on his bed, staring blankly.
He glances over at the photo of him and UNCLE BEN. Like before, PETER'S mind goes to him and BEN, when he was younger.
We see BEN and PETER flying kites.
We see BEN and PETER and MAY laughing at the dinner table.
We see BEN getting shot as MAY screams.
PETER'S face becomes distraught as tears fill his eyes and the music hits a crescendo. Then he looks determined.
Finally, we see that PETER has the option of stopping a mugger as SPIDER-MAN but ignores it. We see the man's face. We see PETER finding police cars at his house and MAY crying at the crime scene. We see SPIDER-MAN cornering the murderer and attacking him. We see the murderer's face is that of the man PETER let go earlier.
The reasons for PETER'S guilt are now revealed, as is his almost pathological drive, and tears stream down his face. In the dark, his face becomes increasingly determined. He clenches his fists and pictures BEN telling him something extremely important (the audio is muted). PETER looks at the box and picks it up, sighing as he makes his final decision. The music ends as he puts on his costume and goes out his window.
END ACT FOUR
GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE
Several long shots pan out over the city skyline and take us to the bridge. Think the beginning of The Shining or the transitions from the second season of True Detective (ugh). We get a sense of the weight of the city and the quiet before the er- sandstorm.
ENT. JUSTIN HAMMER'S LIMO
HAMMER sits next to his female AIDE, playing with a pen in his mouth. There is a small TV covering SANDMAN'S press conference on the news. The camera begins on the broadcast and slowly pulls out to reveal the limo.
SANDMAN
(ON TV)
Justin Hammer made this creature you now see. This monster, this freak. And I'm not the only one. It's illegal and evil. He is evil. He will face me like a man and he will answer for his crimes against… against the world. I will make damn sure of that.
HAMMER
Whelp… he finally figures out how to speak in coherent sentences and he uses them to call me evil. Some people are just really rude.
AIDE
Mr Hammer, we don't have to go there.
HAMMER
Uh, yeah we do. You think I'm just gonna let this grainy-assed Staten-Island trash insult me and get away with it?! I'm going to look him in the eye and call him out for being the coward he really is.
The AIDE looks at him, surprised.
HAMMER , y'know, the media will be there. So he can't really do anything.
AIDE
I don't know if I agree with that.
HAMMER
(SARCASTICALLY)
Well if I don't have your approval, Cathy, then what's the point of anything?
AIDE
My job is to help you make decisions. And this is an important one, for both our sakes.
HAMMER
Pfft, grow some balls. What's he gonna do?
AIDE
Well, maybe slaughter everyone like at the new power plant? Which, for the record, he knew was being broadcast.
HAMMER
We don't know that.
AIDE
Did you even look at his psych profile before you selected him for this "project"?
HAMMER
Uh… no. But my last assistant did.
AIDE
The one you fired for neglecting to point out that your fly was down at a board meeting.
HAMMER
…Yeah…
AIDE
Well allow me to read to you about this "Sandman." His real name is Flint Marko-
HAMMER
I coulda told you that!
AIDE
- and he was a small-time burglar.
HAMMER
Oh my God, what a badass sociopath. Mussolini would be scared shitless.
AIDE
Can I please do the job you hired me for?
HAMMER
(SIGHS)
Go.
AIDE
He tries to rob a jewelry store. He fails. But he gets away and runs home to his girlfriend. Whom he proceeds to beat the crap out of, probably in anger over the botched robbery. The neighbors call the cops over the noise and two show up. He beats them up. Puts one of them in a hospital. Turns out the cop dies. So he gets life in Rykers for beating an officer to death with his bare hands, which, even I have to admit, is pretty disgusting. That is the man you decided to… to give superpowers to. Now that man wants to beat you to death with his bare hands. Which he was already very capable of before you made him a giant monster. So to sum up, yes I am worried about what he will do. Considering he murdered over a dozen scientists just because they were on your payroll. You know some of them had no heads? How do you think this will go? The police can't shoot that thing! You're screwed unless you get your ass on a plane to… French Polynesia or something. Like, now.
HAMMER is silent for a bit.
HAMMER
(CLEARING HIS THROAT)
Well… no one will call me a coward.
AIDE
Your lawyers could get you off for this, y'know.
HAMMER
I know.
His assistant looks at him with exasperation and shock.
The camera then slowly lifts to reveal PETER laying on top of the limo, listening to the conversation and stretching his muscles in preparation.
PETER
(TO SELF)
Greeeat…
The camera pans out to Hammer's facility in Jersey. As the limo pulls up to the front of the facility, PETER leaps out of sight, to a vantage point overlooking the conference. Dozens of reporters and their vehicles are cluttered in the parking lot and SANDMAN stands on a white van looking down at them all. The cameras are rolling.
PETER
(TO SELF)
You idiots… go… please go…
As the limo pulls in, SANDMAN sadistically smiles and grows in height. His hands grow bigger and he stares dead-eyed at the limo.
SANDMAN
(SHOUTING)
Well, old friend, here we are! Live in front of the world! Your reckoning is here!
A pause.
SANDMAN CONT.
Well, what are you waiting for?! Am I gonna have to rip you out of there? You think I can't? I will drown you in this crap! Or maybe I'll kill these esteemed journalists. Then you'll see what you've done.
HAMMER sits quietly in his limo next to his AIDE. They are unsure of what to do. HAMMER nearly speaks up but stops short.
SANMAN CONT.
You're really going to let them die? Just to save your own skin! You'd doom these people… fine. I warned you.
SANDMAN begins walking towards the crowd with a deadly look in his eyes. His appendages grow and his form becomes increasingly monstrous. PETER hops down to the lot and begins sprinting towards him.
SANDMAN CONT.
(TO THE CROWD)
You can thank Justin Hammer for this.
PETER sprints at him and as he raises his arms like weapons, PETER delivers a powerful running kick to him, knocking him sideways into a truck. Without saying a word, PETER pummels him with every ounce of strength.
PETER
(TO THE CROWD)
Run! Run, run, run!
As the crowd begins to disperse, PETER is knocked around two dozen feet in the other direction. SANDMAN takes form and begins walking towards the people. Without missing a beat, PETER immediately recovers and runs at him.
PETER
Look, you son of a beach!
SANDMAN turns to strike but PETER is prepared. When his spider-sense goes off, he flips over SANDMAN and begins delivering a flurry of quick jabs to every part of his body, keeping him from recovering form.
While PETER holds SANDMAN off, the civilians run for their lives. However a select few idiots remain and take cover, filming the fight. In the limo, HAMMER is in a state of silent shock. He watches the reporter's live feed on his TV. His assistant is hyperventilating.
HAMMER
(TO HER)
I'm… I'm sorry, Cathy.
Outside, PETER continues to rip into SANDMAN with extreme speed. SANDMAN tries to recover solid form but is stopped at every attempt.
PETER
(EXHAUSTED)
You suck so much, you don't even know how much you suck…
SANDMAN
(TO HAMMER)
I'm going to rip your throat out and feed it to you!
PETER
Oh shut the hell up!
As he continues his barrage of attack, PETER'S arm begins to throb and blood soaks shoulder over his bullet wound. Despite being in agony, PETER refuses to let up, hitting with everything he's got. Unfortunately, SANDMAN wises up and completely loses form, falling to the ground as a pile of sand. He slithers away quickly enough, PETER can't catch him.
PETER
(EXHAUSTED, CONFUSED, EXASPERATED)
Where… where does your brain even… what?!
PETER slowly works his way over to the reforming SANDMAN but is knocked head-first into the facility's lobby, leaving HAMMER completely vulnerable.
While PETER digs himself out from the debris in the wrecked lobby, he watches SANDMAN calmly walk over to the limo.
SANDMAN
I'm gonna enjoy slowly ripping you apart.
HAMMER silently steps out of his limo.
AIDE
What are you-?!
HAMMER
Don't worry.
He walks up to SANDMAN and stands, looking directly into his eyes. PETER is now fighting to escape the broken down ceiling and rescue HAMMER.
SANDMAN
I'm impressed.
HAMMER
Thanks.
SANDMAN
How do you feel?
HAMMER
How do I feel?
SANDMAN
You're about to die.
HAMMER
I feel confused.
PETER, in a manner similar to the iconic scene from Amazing Spider-Man #30, fights through his wounds to push his way out of the rubble.
SANDMAN
Confused?
HAMMER
Confused. Confused about why exactly you want to kill me.
SANDMAN
You turned me into a man made of sand.
HAMMER
Wow. Well, I apologize for giving you power most people would kill for. Literally. Power which, by the way, you asked for. You volunteered. You knew the risks You wanted this. Don't blame me for your failure… or whatever it is.
SANDMAN
(INFURIATED)
You didn't tell me I would be a freak!
HAMMER
I told you that you would have power… which you do. I told you that you would be stronger than everyone else… which you are. I told you that you would be free… which you are. Don't take your anger out on me like you do your girlfriends-
A large spike is sticking out of HAMMER'S back. His assistant screams. PETER finally smashes his way to freedom and runs at SANDMAN.
HAMMER
(COUGHING UP BLOOD)
…coward…
SANDMAN screams and rips HAMMER free, casually throwing his corpse across the parking lot. His eyes focus on the screaming assistant.
He walks towards her, readying his arms like weapons, fury in his eyes.
PETER leaps onto him, webbing his eyes and throwing him in the opposite direction, towards the main building. SANDMAN smacks him into a pickup truck and punches his face with extreme might, shattering his eye lenses. PETER dodges the next blow, smashing through the truck's window and exiting the other side. Dodging a few more hits, he works his way to the back of the truck to take cover.
SANDMAN
You're nothing! I can kill you!
SANDMAN turns around and aims for the remaining journalists once more.
SANDMAN
You enjoying the show?! I'll kill you! I'll kill your everything!
He sends a blast of sand in all directions momentarily blinding everyone. He stands over a reporter and prepares to kill her. In the background, PETER runs towards him, holding the entire truck by its end.
WOMAN
Please… don't… please…
SANDMAN
Shut up.
Right on cue, PETER smashes the side of SANDMAN'S face with the truck. PETER continues to throw every ounce of strength he has into maneuvering SANDMAN over to the facility, using every vehicle in his path as a weapon.
PETER
(AS HE ATTACKS)
Stop… killing… people… god!
SANDMAN is battered into the lobby, smashed through the double doors in the back and kicked into the lab. Several nerdy looking young men are gathered around a computer. One is holding a giant porototype-y looking gun.
SCIENTIST ONE
(TO PETER)
Got him?!
PETER
Yes! Do it! Now!
SANDMAN screams as a huge sonic blast hits him from the side. He falls apart into dust on the floor. He's gone in a flash, just like that.
The scientist with the gun is stunned.
SCIENTIST TWO
Hell yeah, Marty! Kick some ass!
Everyone stands for a minute, exhausted. PETER holds his knees, wheezing. The scientists all cheer and give each other high fives.
SCIENTIST TWO
Okay, we are awesome.
SCIENTIST THREEWe built that in what, seven minutes?
SCIENTIST FOUR
(CHECKING HIS WATCH)
Six minutes and forty three seconds.
SCIENTIST TWO
Awesome.
PETER
(EXHAUSTED)
He wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys, so… don't go thanking yourselves too hard.
The room goes silent.
PETER CONT.
I'll let myself out…
The camera follows PETER'S back as he steps out into the wrecked parking lot. The group of cameramen and reporters has basically regrouped and are snapping pictures left and right.
PETER CONT.
Could we please go home now?
Reporters shout SPIDER-MAN'S name over and over.
Suddenly it all grows quiet. A tall man steps out of the crowd and up to PETER. It's KRAVEN.
KRAVEN
Now Spider, we must do battle.
PETER
(EXASPERATED)
Oh, c'mon. Really?
KRAVEN
Prepare to meet your maker.
PETER
Oh, shut up, you big fluffy dork.
KRAVEN throws several punches which PETER effortlessly dodges.
PETER CONT.
Can we- is this really… hey- oh for- god! Stop. Stop! I said- stop it!
PETER throws a left hook that send KRAVEN flying to his van, immediately out cold.
PETER CONT.
(TO SELF)
Huh. Thought he had powers or something. Guess not. Phony.
(TO THE REPORTERS)
Hey! You all saw! I asked him nicely, like, thirty times. Oh whatever, I'm sure you'll find a way to make me look like a terrorist or something.
The reporter who was nearly stabbed to death speaks up, just as PETER is about to web-zip himself away.
REPORTER
Wait! Spider-Man!
PETER
Nope!
REPORTER
What's your side of all this?
PETER
Who cares, either way I'll be the bad guy.
REPORTER
You can tell your side of the story! We're live right now!
PETER
Wait… we're live?
REPORTER
We have been since this whole thing started. The fight, Hammer's death… you saving me… all of it.
PETER
I feel like you're screwing with me.
REPORTER
Why else would we be here? It's just… it's just that we've never gotten to hear your side of the story. You're always wearing that mask and… people just… they're confused!
PETER
About what?
REPORTER
Who you are and what you stand for.
PETER looks out over the crowd of silent journalists all waiting for his response. He hops down off the streetlamp he's climbed.
PETER
Well… what do you wanna know?
REPORTER
Wow, this is happening… where are you from?
PETER
I'm from a planet in a galaxy far, far away where people and spiders live and mate together in harmony.
REPORTER
Wait, seriously?
PETER
No, that was a joke. I- what? No, I'm from around here. I'm just some guy. Seriously. I'm not rich or poor or anything remotely special.
REPORTER
How did you get your powers?
Government agents have shown up and are loading SANDMAN into some kind of advanced translucent prison container. He can't be heard but is visibly screaming at everyone from inside. PETER points to him.
PETER
Honestly, I just sorta winded up with them by accident. Not like this ass. Who, by the way, I'm surprised to see alive.
REPORTER
You didn't acquire them on purpose?
PETER
Heck no! This isn't as fun as it looks.
REPORTER
Then why do you do what you do and why do you wear a mask?
PETER
Uh… it isn't some big conspiracy or something. I have a life outside this you know. What do you think would happen if Sandy, over there, found out who I was and where I lived? I have enough to worry about without homicidal losers showing up at my doorstep.
REPORTER
But why do you do all of this? What's your endgame?
PETER
My endgame? Okay, you guys are over thinking this, big time. I'm some guy who has crazy powers so I use them to help people. What else am I gonna do with… with webs? Look: I used to know a guy a lot smarter than me. And you. And everyone else here. A guy who told me that when you have powers, you have responsibilities that go with them. You smart? Great. Use your brains to cure cancer or something, not build sand monsters. You have spider-themed superpowers? Stop bad guys and save people. It's not complicated. I wear a mask because, yeah, I'm already risking my life. I don't need to risk my family's.
Everybody is dead silent. Finally some reporters start clapping and full-on applause breaks out.
REPORTER
Well… you saved my life. So thank you.
PETER
Hey… no problem. Now leave me alone, please. I need to go get yelled at.
The crowd cheers, the audio fades out and PETER swings off into the distance. On his way, he sneaks over to an empty transport truck and jacks the dispatch radio. He leaves an apology note and some cash in the driver's seat.
ENT. PARKER RESIDENCE
In silence, PETER swings home and changes into pajamas. He walks downstairs into the living room, expecting Aunt MAY. Instead he finds a note.
"Peter- I have to pull extra shifts at the hospital tonight (crazy people). Order Chinese! -XOXO"
PETER
(RELIEVED)
Oh my God! Yes…
Then PETER notices the answering machine going off. He presses it.
PRINCIPAL
(OVER MACHINE)
Hello Ms. Parker, this is Principal Siuntres at Middletown High School. We just wanted to inform you that your nephew, Peter, abruptly left class in the middle of a lesson and did not return. We would like to discuss Peter's future here at Midtown as well as decide on which actions we would like to take. Please contact us when you get this and we can decide together. Thank you.
PETER stares at the machine for a minute. He leans in to delete it but then decides not to.
A car door shuts in the driveway and PETER sees MAY returning through the living room window. He waits for her. As she walks in, the audio fades out and we can see PETER opening up to her about school. The scene fades into the next.
END ACT FIVE
MIDTOWN HIGH CONFERENCE ROOM
PETER sits in silence as AUNT MAY talks with several school officials.
OFFICIAL
The question, Ms Parker, is: why does Peter deserve any special treatment? This is one of the few public schools in New York that actually upholds a standard. Peter's behavior is not that of a student we want enrolled here.
MAY
I understand but-
OFFICIAL
I'm sorry but other students have been expelled for less.
PRINCIPAL
Now, Tom, keep in mind that Peter was always an exemplary student before this. It's not like he's normally bad. Or even average, for that matter. He was fantastic. I think he at least deserves a chance to defend himself. Peter? Anything you wanna say?
PETER
(AFTER A PAUSE)
I, uh… I think this was a weird year. I don't know, I just… I guess I've been dealing with a lot of… a lot of new stuff. I had to get used to it, I think. I know this isn't the first time I've said this but… I think things will be different next time. I had conflict before… that kinda came up. But it's definitely dealt with now. I guess what I'm saying is… forgive me if you want to. Or don't. Either way, there's nothing I can say to defend myself. Except maybe that I'll do all my extra work over the summer, maybe?
Everyone is quiet.
PRINCIPAL
Peter, can you please step outside for a minute?
PETER looks at MAY.
MAY
C'mon, Peter.
PETER leaves the room and sits on a bench in the hallway. He assumes the position of staring at the nearest clock.
FLASH THOMPSON is strolling down the hall, playing with his hall pass, when he sees PETER.
FLASH
Hey, look who it is!
PETER
Oh God.
FLASH
Dude, are you in trouble or something?
PETER
Uh… I might get expelled.
FLASH
Whoa. What'd you do? Bring a gun to school or something?
PETER
(SARCASTICALLY)
Ha. Ha ha. Hee. Ho. Ha.
FLASH
That was genuinely creepy…
PETER
Yeah, sorry about that. But no, it's for the time when I yelled at the teacher and left.
FLASH
Oh yeah, that was pretty funny.
PETER
I guess it kind of was.
PETER looks at FLASH'S Spider-Man T-shirt.
FLASH
Cool, huh?
PETER
Yeah. When did they start making those?
FLASH
I dunno. I got it like a week ago.
PETER
Nice.
FLASH
Thanks… well, see ya.
PETER
(CHUCKLING)
Maybe.
FLASH
(SMILING)
Yeah.
PETER is left alone on his bench. MAY opens the door.
MAY
Peter, you can come in now.
PETER steps into the room and waits for his sentencing.
PRINCIPAL
Well, Peter… in light of some recent… things… we know you've been through… with your Uncle and all… and considering your track record of excellence… we've decided to give you one last chance to make up all your work over the summer and come back in fall as a Junior.
There's a pause and MAY smiles at PETER.
PETER
I… thank you.
PRINCIPAL
I hope we won't regret this decision.
PETERYou won't.
OFFICIAL
Oh… and one other thing we'll need from you… Peter, there's this one computer in the main math lab that has been giving us trouble for quite some time now. You think you could…?
PETER
Sure, no problem.
OFFICIAL
Thanks.
One last awkward, long pause.
We cut to out in the hall as PETER and MAY head out.
MAY
That went really well, I think.
PETER
Yeah.
MAY
Wanna get some Chinese takeout?
PETER
You have no idea.
ENT. DAILY BUGLE
PETER sullenly walks through the Bugle's offices. On his way to JJJ's office, PETER sees BETTY.
PETER
Uh… hey.
BETTY
Oh my God, you're still alive?
PETER
Yup.
BETTY
Coulda fooled me.
PETER
Hey, listen, I can't tell you how sorry-
BETTY
Save it. I already heard it once. I can't believe I thought you were for real. I won't screw up again, so… please leave me alone.
PETER
Betty, I-
BETTY
You're one of those people who gets too many chances, aren't you?
PETER is silent. BETTY seems truly done with him and he decides to respect her wishes, walking away in silence.
PETER knocks on JJJ'S office door.
JJJ
Enter!
PETER
Hey, Mr Jameso-
JJJ
Kid! What the hell are you doing? I thought you had my meds, otherwise I wouldn'ta let you in. Get out. Bye.
PETER
I'm really sorry about everything, Mr Jameson, I just wanted you to know-
JJJ
Kid, I have an ulcer that would make Hillary Clinton stop lying. Get back to work before I fire you.
PETER
Get back to work?
JJJ
Are you deaf or something? Yes, get back to work.
PETER, in shock, turns around and begins to leave.
JJJ CONT.
Wait!
PETER
Yes…?
JJJ
You're a kid, kid. What do you think of Spider-Man?
PETER
He… he sucks.
JJJ
(SMILING)
Yeah, okay, I think so too. Now get out.
PETER steps out into the main office, mouth still open.
ROBBIE walks up to him.
ROBBIE
Where you been all week, kid?
PETER
I… I'm… I don't even know how to answer that.
ROBBIE
You still want this job?
PETER
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
ROBBIE
Okay. Then you just used all your sick days. Happy data input!
ROBBIE drops a stack of papers into PETER'S arms and walks away.
Sometimes by MY BLOODY VALENTINE fades in again.
As the film comes to a close, we see PETER get to work with those papers.
In a final montage, we see a lot of resolution:
PETER walks out of school at the end of the day, smiling, and a big sign reads "Have a great summer!"
He eats with AUNT MAY at a restaurant.
PETER is seen stitching up a wound on his shoulder, with new supplies.
He rigs the stolen CB radio to hear police frequencies. He listens to it, scanning for crazy crimes, such as "man with electric fingers."
PETER and MAY visit BEN'S grave.
PETER receives eye contacts. He then throws them away and puts his glasses away for good.
PETER fixes up his costume and puts in new lenses, with the help of the Dummy's Guide to Sewing.
PETER is seen tinkering with new web shooters and a spider-tracer. He programs the dispatch into ear buds, somehow. He presses a button and his spider-sense goes off.
SONG ENDS
ROOFTOP, NYC SKYLINE
DAYTIME
PETER, in full SPIDER-MAN getup, stands on a rooftop, looking over the streets below. The radio comes on.
PETER'S spider-sense blares on cue and points him towards the disturbance, which the camera quickly follows.
DISPATCH
We have an 11-60 and 245 at- what the… 11-99! A large, I think it's a… a large rhinoceros-like man is taking hostages. He's a giant rhino of some kind.
PETER
Oh my God! Really? A rhino? I can't- what?!
ABRUPT CUT TO CREDITS
THE END
…All the Go In Betweens by SILVERSUN PICKUPS plays in credits.