Summary: The Promised Day changed everything they knew about each other and themselves.

Notes:

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise including the lyrics of "Satellite" by Nickelback Interspersed with the fic. It was my soundtrack for writing this.

Written for fangirl4you on Tumblr. Thank you so much for bring so patient.

Warning for angst galore. There's some sexual situations too.

Playing With Fire

It was Roy Mustang's first full week back in the office and Christmas had organised a dinner for his team in her newly acquired bar in Eastern. While his sight had been restored following Marcoh's treatment, it had taken longer for his eyes to adjust fully. Even now he didn't have 20-20 vision and his stepmother teased him mercilessly that they wouldn't get any better and that he would just have to don spectacles instead.

"It's the price of getting old, Roy boy."

She clapped him on the back and handed him a glass of her finest brandy.

"I'm not old," he muttered.

She just laughed, "When are our guests arriving?"

"You insisted everyone wear civvies, so it may be while. I am a little early after all."

Christmas looked at the clock over the bar, "Another half hour, I suppose."

Roy simply nodded. The dinner was her idea, a celebration for Roy's recovery she said. He couldn't help but wonder if she had other motives though. He'd agreed regardless and it wasn't just an excuse to see Riza out of military regulation clothing, but it was certainly a big plus.

Almost as if Christmas read his mind, she asked, "How is Elizabeth these days?"

"I wish you wouldn't call her that, her name is Riza."

"Oh you remember her name," she teased. "I only ever see you call her Lieutenant."

"Well, that's what she is," he snapped.

Christmas gave him a smack on the back on the head, "Keep a civil tongue, Roy boy." Her expression softened, "Ever think you should throw caution to the wind and tell her how you feel?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"It's me, Roy boy. You can't lie to me, never could. Remember when you used to steal freshly baked cookies?"

Roy's lip twitched, "We are what we are."

"Cause life slips by without a warning

And I'm tired of ignoring all the space that's between you and I"

- Nickelback "Satellite"

It wasn't quite true, Roy had been thinking a lot about the woman he couldn't have lately.

Everything had changed. Roy knew this the moment his new eyes met those of his must trusted subordinate. He wasn't sure whether it was the close brush with death or the fact that he had been unable to see her for a few weeks. She was his compass, the one person he knew would make sure he wouldn't lose himself and he had nearly lost her. She had pulled him back from the brink when he was on the verge of succumbing to the his rage at Hughes' unjust death, and then he had to watch her bleed out in front of him.

Helpless. Useless.

Following the events of that terrible day, he had been able to hear her, speak to her and on occasion feel her touch. But when her voice wasn't there to remind him, he dwelled on the last sight he had of her - bloody and terrified on the floor, the pallor on her skin and the defiance in her eyes. It was as if the image was etched on the inside of his eye lids. It was like a waking nightmare. Of all the thousands of other memories he had of her, it had to be the most terrible one. Intellectually he knew she was fine, but it was a different thing to see her at last with his own eyes.

Seeing her again, alive and well, had been a revelation.

Had it really only been a month ago since his sight was returned to him? It felt like a lifetime away.

And was she always so beautiful? How could he have forgotten how beautiful she was?

He couldn't get enough of looking at her, drinking in every nuance of her countenance.

Furtive glances became lingering and desperate. He knew he wasn't being as careful as he should, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

Looking was barely enough anymore. His hands twitched to touch her, to run his fingers through her hair. He wanted to kiss her soft mouth and make her every part of her body quiver.

Riza Hawkeye stared at her reflection in the mirror. All the make up in the world could not hide her killer's eyes. She had seen many terrible things, done many of them. Her younger self would not recognise this self loathing, cold creature she had become.

Once upon a time, the world had been a beautiful place waiting to be discovered; everything that lay beyond her unloving home with her father had to be better. She lived through her books and then Roy came into her life bringing a colour to her dreary existence. He taught her that not only were there wonderful things to discover, but they had a duty to the world too. Things could always be better; they would be better.

That innocent idealism had long since been stolen from them and giving Roy the key to her father's alchemy had led them all here. While they both made their own decisions to join the military, hoping to protect their country, she wondered how different things would have been if she didn't share her father's secrets.

The events of the Promised Day had shaken all of them to the core. How could it not? She thought she had lost Roy when he let revenge overpower him; It was something she had been in fear of for a while. She talked him down and from that moment on, she was sure she would never doubt him again. Then those monsters stole his sight and still he refused to bow down. Even from his hospital bed, he was still planning, plotting and pulling strings. Marcoh's gift of the Philosopher's Stone was an unexpected turn of events, and she had thought for a moment that he was going to refuse. The expression of awe on his face when his sight was restored was something she would never forget.

The sound of car horn interrupted her musings. It must be Jean. She pulled herself away from the mirror and left her bathroom. She grabbed her keys and handbag off the kitchen table. Hayate jumped up immediately and barked.

Riza bent down and rubbed him, "Sorry, boy, humans only! I'll see you later."

Hayate jumped up on her leg to lick her face, "No, Hayate, get down! You'll destroy my dress."

Rebecca had insisted that Riza buy a new dress for tonight as the two hadn't been shopping in long while. It was a black, knee-length dress, admittedly showing more cleavage than she would normally have chosen, but she had to admit that it suited her figure, clinging to all the right places.

She smiled as Hayate barked again, "Yes, I promise I'll have a good time."

Roy's plate was empty, and he had childish urge to lick the plate clean. He didn't get enough decent meals unless he went out for dinner. When he was cooking just for himself, he preferred the quick and easy options especially as he usually was trying to catch up on one thing or another.

"This was absolutely delicious," he said. "All credit to the chef!"

"You can't blow up this bar," Christmas replied.

Roy rolled his eyes. Did she have to continually embarrass him in front of his men?

"The food was lovely," Riza said from beside him.

"Thanks dear. At least I know you're not trying to butter me up for something."

The seating arrangements, Roy guessed, were yet another part of his adoptive mother's scheming. He wished things were that simple.

The dinner was supposed to be a celebration, but Roy kept on getting lost in thought. It didn't help being sat right next to the source of his distraction and lustful thoughts.

Riza looked stunning tonight; he had lost all powers of speech when she had walked in. He really needed to get ahold of himself or he was going to do something stupid one of these days or even worse be seen doing something Illegal.

Riza was laughing at one of Havoc's terrible jokes. It was so nice to see her smile, she didn't do it enough. How he wanted to be the one to make her smile.

"Roy?" Riza's concerned eyes met his. "Are you alright? You're very quiet."

"I'm fine," he assured her with his best Flame Alchemist smile.

"Don't lie to me, it's insulting," she whispered.

But he couldn't talk about her about this. He couldn't tell her what he really wanted, not when they made a promise a long time ago to never stray from this path.

When he didn't answer, she turned her back to him and he sighed. Christmas was smiling sadly on the other side of the table. He wished she wouldn't.

"Another drop, Roy boy?"

He handed her the glass, "Thanks."

Riza stared at the flames dancing in front of her. Roy was acting all introspective and moody. She didn't like it, but if he wouldn't confide in her, she was powerless. He was also drinking too much, and that was one of those things that served to make him maudlin. The other guests were either ignoring that their guest of honour was a wet blanket or oblivious to his mood. Most likely it was the latter as he was putting up a good front for the men who were currently splitting their sides at one of his stories about Edward Elric's exploits. She sat near the fire, the evening was chilly and although she had a few glasses of wine, it wasn't enough to make her impervious to the cold.

Madam Christmas sidled up beside her, "Having a good time?"

"Oh yes," Riza lied.

Christmas raised an eyebrow, "You're as good at lying as my Roy boy."

Riza flushed.

"Talk to him properly." Christmas winked at her and walked over to the middle to where the men were now congregating. "Boys, do you fancy taking on an old lady in a game of poker?"

Roy disengaged himself from the group, and Riza guessed that was the older woman's intention. He caught Riza's eye across the room and headed towards her..

Roy started to stoke the fire, "Sorry, I've been a bit of an ass."

"I suppose I was a little harsh too," she admitted. "It was none of my business."

He wasn't her husband or even her lover. She had no right to demand he tell her what was bothering him. He continued to feed the fire and she took the time to admire how he looked. His grey suit was double breasted with a red handkerchief in the pocket. The white silk shirt he wore underneath set it off nicely. When he finally ceased his attentions to the fire, he turned to look at her. When he sat down beside her, her heart began to speed. She wasn't completely oblivious to the spark of attraction between them that was proving harder to ignore since the Promised Day. He caused her body to burn with a simple look or word; there was no need for his gloves to start a fire. She was already on fire.

"Do you recall how long it must've been

Since any room held only you and me?"

- Nickelback "Satellite"

It was a mistake. Riza knew this even as Roy parted her lips. They had gone to the cellar to get more wine on Christmas' instruction. It was the first time they had been alone since the hospital.

This is wrong. She pulled his body closer to hers.

But it feels like we belong together. He pushed her towards the wall, his kisses getting more frantic. She could feel the cold bricks against her back, but she didn't care.

Suddenly, he froze and pulled away. "We should stop."

It was then Riza make a split second decision and reached to his face, a hand on either side, "I don't care."

He was tense under her touch. I love you. She wanted to say it, but those words were like Pandora's box, once opened they could not be undone.

"I want you," she said instead and she kissed him on the jaw line, pressing small, hard kisses back to his mouth.

"Riza," he whispered reverently against her lips.

He looked into her eyes and tightened his grip on her waist. It was almost painfully tight.

He leaned in and kissed her again, soft this time. Her knees were turning to jelly and she was glad she had the wall to lean against. She could feel his fingers trembling as they worked their way up her back to her shoulder blades. She pressed as close to him as their clothes would allow. They knew where this was going, but neither wanted to stop. Her body temperature was soaring as they kissed - deeper, longer and more passionate with each one. Taking a brief respite to breathe, Roy leaned his forehead against hers.

"We're playing with fire," he whispered.

"I know."

"Am I taking liberties? Do you want this as much I do?"

"Don't be an idiot." She put her hand to his cheek again and he leaned into her touch, "Yes! I want this."

"Tell me will we regret this tomorrow?"

"Fuck tomorrow!"

He smirked, a dirty grin that made her knees buckle, "I'd rather fuck tonight."

"You're confident," she teased.

Before she could saw anymore, a long bang sounded upstairs from the bar and they looked at one another regretfully. Reality hit them like a bucket of cold water. They pulled apart, stepping back from one another..

He took a deep breath, "I suppose we should get the bottles before they send down a search party."

"We should," she said.

Riza straightened out her dress and felt her hair to make sure it wasn't out of place. Roy fixed his tie and buttoned his shirt. Why were they always the ones who sacrificed everything? Why couldn't they be selfish for once? Even if it was just for one night.

She reached for his hand, startling him. The slack jawed expression on his face wasn't very sexy.

"I'm not ready for tonight to be over," she said. " Take me home, Roy."

Let's be selfish, let's take everything we can tonight and we'll going back to living a lie tomorrow.

"And every song that sings about it

Says that we can't live without it

Now I know just what that really means"

- Nickelback "Satellite"

When morning arrived, they woke with their limbs entangled and taste of one another on their lips. Riza's head was resting on Roy's chest, her hair tickling his chin. His arms were wrapped tightly around her. He didn't want to let go, he wanted to lay here forever with her.

His. Hers.

They had walked back to Riza's apartment, not wanting to take a taxi home in case a nosy cab driver took their fare. It was safer to walk, and it was also romantic. He had convinced her to let him hold her hand on the deserted streets, no-one would take any notice of a young couple making their way home. They had stopped in a few darkened corners for some heated kisses.

By the time, they arrived at her apartment, they almost mad with desire. No sooner had Riza locked the behind them, he had pounced kissing and gently sucking at her neck. She had pulled the buttons right off his shirt when it was taking too long t remove it and they lost more and more clothes on the way to the bedroom. Hayate seemed put out being kicked out of her bedroom for the night, but despite a few lonesome whines from the other side of the door the well trained dog quietened.

It had been some sort of amazing dream. It couldn't be real: Riza Hawkeye in front of him, her hair fanned out on the pillow beside him. Looking back, he wasn't quite sure when the transition from his teacher's daughter and his childhood friend to the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with happened. He couldn't remember feeling any other way about her.

He smiled sadly as she started to stir and he knew that daybreak would mean facing reality. She opened her eyes and rubbed them.

"Good morning." Her smile was lazy and his heart was in his throat.

The sun was shining through the curtain, and he was sure that if there was a god it couldn't look at beautiful as she did right now. If there ever was a time to say it, this was it.

"Riza," he began. "I lo-"

"Don't!" She put her hand to his lips, "Please don't say it."

"But, I need you to know how I feel."

"Roy, I know."

He leaned on his elbows, "Let's just pretend a little longer. Let me make some breakfast."

"Mmm – coffee. Dare I trust you with anything else?"

"I might be lazy when it comes to cooking, Riza, but I'm not incompetent. I am sure I can at least whip up some scrambled eggs."

Roy pulled on his pants and opened the door of the bedroom. Hayate came bounding in and jumped on the bed, licking Riza's face.

"Hey there." She patted him on the head.

She ached from the previous night's love making. She knew she should regret it, but she didn't. Somehow, they would need to forget about this lapse and put back up the barriers. Feeling a tear trail down her cheek, she buried her face in Hayate's fur.

She recognised Roy's quick footsteps as he re-entered the room. "Cup of coffee."

She heard the sound of the cup being placed on the table beside her.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Hey – do I get a cuddle too?"

He went silent for a moment, and Riza felt the mattress dip as he sat down beside her. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Riza." His voice was gentle.

She raised her tear stained face to his and she could see the pain mirrored in his expression. "You know this can't happen again," she said.

He pulled her close to him and she rested against his chest. "We'll manage, we always do."

He kissed the top of her head.

"I wish I could hate you. It would be easier."

She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth

He froze a moment and she knew she had wounded him.

"I wish you could hate me too," he said. "I wish that you could have a man that could love you freely, someone that is worthy of you."

"Tough - you're the only one for me."

"More's the pity," he replied.

Pull yourself together, Riza. She wiped away her tears and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You would probably burn alive any man that tried to make me his wife."

"Damn right, I'd be jealous. But I want you to be happy, and if someone else ever made you happy, I'd let you go."

His earnest expression was compounded by the unshed tears in his eyes. She had only meant the comment to lighten the mood, but she had instead managed to do the opposite.

"Come on." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "The real world can wait a little longer."

"Let's lock the door behind us

They won't find us

Make the whole world wait"

- Nickelback "Satellite"

The men never said anything about that night. They must have suspected it when Roy and Riza left the bar together some excuse about Riza feeling unwell and Roy seeing her home. The awkwardness in the office might have been another red flag. It was a week before they felt comfortable being alone together, afraid of succumbing to the temptation yet again. Their emotional outbursts were forgotten, both knowing some of the words had needed to be said. Even though harder as it was to pretend they were nothing but superior and subordinate, Roy could not regret the stolen hours.

"Someday," she had said.

He had looked into her eyes and smiled, "Someday."

It was unlikely that they would ever be able to have that someday, but now they had something else to fight for. A little piece of hope that when it all went down, that they weren't signing their death warrants in their pursuit of a democratic Amestris, that there could be in the future, a country where a former flame alchemist and a sharpshooter could love one another, and above all that they could somehow forgive themselves for their sins. Hope – it really was a dangerous creature.

Fin.