The title comes from a The Staves' song called, well... No Me, No You, No More.
And I am still a little bit dead because of this episode, so it was needed, to peace my soul.
I hope you all enjoy :)

(I've written this two weeks ago but I am always late to post here)

When they first met, and she didn't know he was the Doctor, he just seemed like an annoying grandfather who weirdly knew her. He was supposed to be the surgeon who would help her to take her husband's head out, because inside that despicable mind, laid a very expensive diamond and she wanted it very much, thanks.

But instead of a capable professional, she got a bloke that denied even to bow, and kept doing the wrong (or the too right) questions. She had sent a note! He knew what they would do!

They discussed a bit, and he kind of reminded her of her second wife (a lovely and tiny girl called Clara, a little devil on bed). Both of them were blockheads. And then her lovable "husband" found out what she was planning and decided to kill them. How rude!

The weird man, suddenly, turned out into something very useful. He was smart and a quick-thinker, surprisingly saying the right phrase in the right moment.

They escaped with the head of The King inside a bag, treating both of them while they laid on the cold snow, and the man (she didn't even know his name) started laughing, a deep and contagious laugh… She couldn't help.

Maybe she had finally understood why her husband – the real one, the Doctor – picked up companions: sometimes, when you find the right person, they could be very helpful. This guy, she contemplate, would have been a great companion. And he is hers, now.

Although she kept him with her not only because of it. Of course he could prove himself even handier in the future, but… She kind of liked him. With his cross eyebrows and quick tongue, he was almost… He made her remember her second wife, yes, but someone else too.

While he was being tremendously impressed by the TARDIS (and her husband would love to hear someone at last reacting properly) and covering her up with fake hungry noises of his belly, although it was actually The King complaining on the bag, and mostly when sad eyes looked at her whilst they waited for food, and sensible questions were done… She started feeling guilty.

She was beginning to like too much this old guy… Not falling in love, of course, it would be too fast, but… He was nice, funny, and helpful and looked at her with the kindest eyes ever. Eyes full of understanding and care, eyes that comforted her and she has only seem on her husband's face, when he was being particularly gentle.

But he wasn't her husband, her Doctor. Of course he wasn't.

The Doctor was around the universe, having adventures, not thinking about her, not even for a moment. She loved him, more than everything. She would die, she had already, for him, and she didn't await him to do the same. Loving her, having her share of adventures with him… It was enough.

He wasn't bad or unsympathetic with her: he kissed her with as much enthusiasm as her when they were in the mood, and she could see he tried to make up for her about everything he had done (and was forgiven, always and forever), always taking her out for dates. He held her hand when she was afraid, and sang lullabies into her ear when she was having nightmares.

But once the TARDIS' doors were close and she was back at Stormcage, he was off to his universe, a life full of adventures and wonders, but without her. She was maybe cherished, but not needed. He could live a life without her and be just fine, while she, at the other hand… She couldn't even imagine existing in a universe where he wasn't around.

River wanted her husband more than anything now, more than any time before, if it's even possible. However, that strange grandpa with worries on his eyes was all she had. And she didn't want to fall in love with him, although she knew it was happening. Because he was too much like her husband too (ok, maybe that's why she liked Clara so much: she resembled the Doctor as well).

He started doing questions about her diary, about the man who gave it to her, and was too much for her to take it. Tears were already coating in her eyes when the buyer finally was here, and she was safe again.

Well, not exactly safe, but from her feelings, yes, she was. But it was momentarily, considering that even the waiter and the big robot initiated to making her questions about the Doctor, and she was obligated to answer that, yes, she loved the Doctor, which didn't mean he loved her back.

Answer that loving the Doctor wasn't something one does two-ways, expecting to be loved back. He doesn't care about her enough to be tracking her across the universe and saving her ass every time. She would do it, obviously, but not him. If she is dead, it wouldn't make any difference at all in his life.

If he did care about her being alive or not, he would be just beside her. And there was nobody…

There was. The man was there, softly looking at her, as his eyes were saying that everything would be alright, and she just needed to wait and let him solve the thing. She would make it alive and well, if she only trusted on him.

"Hello, sweetie" he whispered, and then everything made sense to her. Of course.

She was falling in love with her husband again, without knowing it was him. And most important at all, he was there, for her. Maybe she was wrong, and he cared a little bit for her.

Maybe he was stupid enough, sentimental enough and even in love enough to find himself just beside her. At least, she hoped so.

Thank you if you read until here, and sorry about any mistake that I probably made.
(YES I PUT THAT WONDERFUL HEADCANON WHERE CLARA IS RIVER'S SECOND WIFE. YOU ARE ALL WELCOME)