It was always strange coming to Juliette's house, what used to be his house too, as a visitor.

Even before he had moved in, when they were just dating, her house had become like his second home. He had spent the night there countless times, kept clothes in her dresser, dropped in whenever he pleased, used his key at will.

Now he knocked and waited for Juliette to come to the door, let him inside.

As he entered the threshold, Avery noticed that she had packed up Cadence's diaper bag and placed it near the front door.

"She's sleeping," Juliette said, closing the door behind him. "I put her down about a half-hour ago."

Avery shoved his hands in his pockets, because he didn't know what else to do with them. "Any problems?"

Juliette shook her head, looking proud. "No, she didn't even cry once."

"Good, good..." he said, trailing off. He felt awkward. It wasn't always that way between them, in this co-parenting journey they were embarking on. One might think it would be weird all the time, considering Avery still had full custody and was slowly expanding Juliette's visitation and time with Cadence the more he came to trust her.

No, it was awkward for him right now because of the reason he had asked Juliette to watch Cadence tonight - he had gone on a date. But they weren't talking about that.

Juliette didn't seem to notice the tension he felt as she informed him of what Cadence had eaten for dinner, how she had laughed as Juliette played "airplane" with her food, and that Juliette was pretty sure Cadence's unintelligible sounds were really close to becoming actual words.

He felt his chest tightening, perhaps his heart squeezing, and he tried to ignore it. He thought back to his date, which had been with a musician named Tara. He'd met her one night at the 5 Spot, where he was picking up gigs here and there. They'd had fun, eating dinner on South 2nd Street downtown and then getting coffee at the Frothy Monkey.

He'd dropped her off without a goodnight kiss though, because he didn't want to lead her on. He wasn't sure what he wanted to happen.

Juliette led Avery back to Cadence's nursery, which still looked exactly the same as it had after they decorated it together before the birth. Juliette stood by and watched as Avery gently picked up Cadence from the crib, holding his breath as he waited to see if she would stir. She didn't, her body curling into her father's chest as she continued to suck on her thumb, eyes shut tight.

"She's such a good baby," Juliette said, her voice quiet.

Avery looked down at Cadence, then back up to Juliette. Her eyes were still on her baby, and the love that shone in her eyes was unmistakable. She had come a long way from the stressed new mother who was so weighed down by postpartum depression that all she could do was run away from reality.

He knew he could trust her with Cadence now, that ultimately she had been sick and had finally taken the steps to get better. He knew she loved her child and regretted everything that had happened. He knew he would never threaten to keep Cadence away from her like he had in the past. He knew a lot of other things too, things he couldn't admit to himself because his heart couldn't take it.

Juliette walked with him back to the front of the house and watched as he fastened Cadence into her car seat. After that was done, he turned back to his estranged wife.

"Well... thanks for keeping her on such short notice," he said.

Juliette bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, of course. So... how was your night?"

He blanched, and she quickly shook her head. "You don't have to tell me."

"That's okay, uh, it was fine. We went to -"

"You know what?" Juliette interrupted, flinching. "On second thought, maybe don't tell me, I just... I don't know if I can..."

She turned away from him and picked up Cadence's blanket that was on top of the diaper bag, shaking it out and folding it again.

"Juliette," he said.

She put the blanket down and slowly turned to face him. Her eyes were wet.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just when you said 'we' and you were talking about you and somebody else. I just ... I..."

A few tears escaped down her cheeks, and Avery had to stop himself from tearing up as well. "I'm sorry," he said.

He pulled her to him, hugging her even as his mind screamed at him to get out of there as fast as he could. His track record was pretty set in stone. Try as he might to resist her, he could never do so for long. Even though he'd been destroyed by her - twice - he never wanted to see her in pain.

"We'll get through this," he whispered. He felt her nod against him, and she slowly disentangled herself from his arms.

Wiping her face, she walked around him and unlocked the front door, opening it slightly.

"Listen," she said, collecting herself. "I'm sorry I did that just now. I know you have to move on. I have to let you."

He nodded, looking away even as she tried to look him directly in his eyes. Her brave face faltered for a second, and her voice broke as she spoke.

"I'm going to love you until the day I die," she said, and as those words hit him, he felt himself break too. "And I love you too much to risk hurting you again. So please just forget my little meltdown here tonight and go on another date and don't feel guilty about it, okay? Just... maybe we'll wait a little while before you start telling me about your love life."

Avery blinked back tears that had been threatening and swallowed. She was giving him an out, and at least tonight, he had to take it.

"I'll see you Wednesday when I drop off Cadence again," he said. Juliette nodded, then squatted down to kiss Cadence's head.

"Good night baby girl," she whispered. "I love you."

As Avery watched them together, his two girls, he wondered again why he couldn't still have the family he'd always wanted. If he could trust Cadence with Juliette, why couldn't he trust himself with her too?

But then he remembered the divorce papers currently being processed and the pain and the promise he had made to himself never to go through that again.

With a renewed resolve that would probably last only about thirty more seconds unless he got out of there, Avery picked up the carrier and diaper bag and left the house, quickly saying goodbye as he passed Juliette on his way out.

He knew deep down that this wasn't over. Maybe it never would be. But at least tonight, he had won another battle between his heart and his mind.