Edit 1/18/2016: just a few changes here and there.

Disclaimer: Er...i don't own RWBY?

AN: I never really watched RWBY before so don't blame me if I got something wrong. I've only read fanfics of them and most data can be found on the Wiki. This fic is not to be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, non of my fics should be taken seriously. Let the randomness flow through you. Embrace it with your boredom and let it melt some of it away.

It might get serious later on...probably...maybe?

Also, please leave a review so that I may enjoy reading your feedback.

Chapter 1: Introductions, long ass flashbacks and a metric shit ton of info dumps with sprinkles of randomness.

Well this is certainly unexpected. I never expected to be standing in front of Beacon like all the other self insert that I've read about. Just like everyone said and describe in their own stories, it's a big fucking building with a big ass tower in the middle and it's really pretty and stuff. I suck at describing things, sorry about that.

How did I get here in the first place you asked? I'm not quite sure. At first I thought that it could be Zelretch but I'm pretty sure that he's busy trolling other people in the Nasuverse to bother me (God, I hope that it's Shirou again). So, in the end I guessed that I got Rob'd. Bloody omnipotent bastard. Probably laughing his arse off on his throne made of tears of all those that he had Rob'd for fun right now.

Oh, how I wish I have a way to materialize that bastard in the form of a human male so I can knee him in the balls. Twice, for good measure.

Well, it can't be that bad. I got a sweet semblance and some Aura to get me by and a weapon that I've made from scraps that I've collected during these six weeks that I've been in this world.

It's not much for now but I can at least take a few hits before I started bleeding or be torn to shreds by the soulless Grimms that resides in this world that also acts as the cannon folder for the main protagonists to make them look cool and show off their badassery while fighting.

But that might be because it's a show and they made everything look easy. Who knows how different things are since it's real life now. I have a lot experience in fighting humans *CoughvideogamesCough* but monsters that looked like they came out of a children's nightmare? Not so much.

It can't be that hard right? I mean most self insert got by just fine with their logical thinking and careful planning on what to do with canon. They could either FUBAR it or not do anything to jeopardize the timeline and mostly avoid parts where the main cast will be. I could do that too right?

I could plan on taking out White Fang on my own and prevent most of the bullshit that happened in canon and save everyone the trouble. It would be suicide but at least I died like a boss or at least took Cinder with me. Or, I could join the main cast and get to know them. I mean, who doesn't want to be the friend of the adorable Ruby Rose and her friends that consist of interesting characters. Sure, I might get into a lot of trouble when I'm with them and have a few laughs and sad moments but in the end I'll be able to create memories that I could remember back on fondly.

Then again, I could just sit everything out and watch the fireworks in the sidelines. I mean, it's not like I have to responsibility to save the world that I don't belong in, right? I'm pretty sure I can find a save spot in the world to bunker down while the main cast do their job and save the world or something.

Even though I've only watched one season of the web series, read some random things about it in the Wiki and a lot of other fanfics, I'm confident that I have enough foreknowledge for me to get by. With my limited knowledge on the RWBY verse I will know who to avoid and what not to do. As in, Ozpin has eyes and eyes everywhere somehow, not sure if he did it legally or placed all those cameras in secret but I'll be damned if I start showing off my skills in Vale and let him caught on that I'm hiding more than I'm letting on. But I don't have to worry about him for now. Why? I'll explain later.

Why am I explaining so much right now? I'm pretty sure that being Rob'd means that you are entitled to have your life story in said world that you were Rob'd to be well written and placed in the net as a fanfiction for others to read so I might as well explain all this shit for the ones who are currently reading my miserable fate right now.

SO! Since I'm done explaining all that I'm guessing that you're wondering why I'm not making my way towards the spot where Ruby would explode in and introduce myself to her. Maybe get to know more of her backstory than Rooster Teeth has shown in the series and get into her circle of friends and start my grand adventure in Beacon? Or maybe even backstab her and make this world go FUBAR? Or maybe even make us fall in love with each other and start making out like dogs in heat like some poorly written smut that I've read about but won't be named here?

Maybe I could start training like mad in hopes of being strong enough to take out White Fang on my own or maybe at least take Cinder with me to hell and maybe take out a few key personals too?

Or maybe avoid everyone and everything in the story and escape Beacon to some place safe to bunker down? Since with my foreknowledge I'm preeeetty sure I could do most of what I listed above. Sans the White Fang part since I have no idea where their base of operation is and I'm pretty sure they could crubstomp me with relative ease until I've trained more. So I guess I could just do the other two and avoid the backstabbing part since I was just kidding about it. So I guess I should start the story by getting to know the main cast then decide whether or not I should just bail and hightail out of there later right?

Not Fucking Possible.

Reason?

The excited chibified white cloaked Ruby lookalike that's gawking at the weapons of other students next to me. "Oh my gosh! That guy has a buzzsaw on a stick. Oh wow! That girl has a Minigun attached onto her forearm! Sweet! That person has a Lazer Rifle!" said girl was busy pointing at various weapons of the students that's suppose to attend Beacon and floating towards the nearest one in the vicinity.

Yep, Meet Summer Rose. The mother of Ruby Rose and stepmother of Yang Xiao Long a.k.a the one whom we saw buried in a grave during Ruby's trailer. She is currently seventeen years old, same age as me and is ready to show Beacon who's tha boss. This also means that the knowledge that I've obtained by watching the one season of RWBY is completely, or just mostly, rendered null. This also means that it's not Ozpin that I have to worry about, it's the current Principal of Beacon that I have to look out for. Absolutely no fucking information on that old geezer. So, fuck you Rob. I'm gonna find a way to collaborate with your wife, if you even have one that is, to make your life miserable just like mine!

"Summer! Calm down." I sighed as I grabbed her white cloak that's fluttering in the air, going against all laws of physic since there's no wind right now. "They're just weapons." I said as I hold the chibified Mother of Ruby Rose near my face as I tried to get the point across. But knowing her daughter I'm guessing that what she's going to say next is…

"Just weapons?" Summer said eyes widen in disbelief and returning to her normal size, still short though, just a bit above my chest level. She pull down her hood to reveal the same silver eyes, pale complexion, and slightly longer black and red hair than her daughter's. She put a hand on her hip and starts waving a finger in the air like some sort of lecture pose that I've seen somewhere before but can't quite put my finger on it for some reason. "They're like, the extension of our souls. They are a part of us just as we're a part of them." Yep, called it. Now I know where Ruby got her love for weapons from.

Well, Summer's currently busy explaining things about weapons and how they make us whole. That phrase kinda reminds me of a certain game that involves an engineer that's having a really bad day when visiting his girlfriend at work. I really can't bring myself to care about it right now so how about some backstory on how I met her eh? Alright then, cue flashback. Eh? Not started yet? Odd, I'm not sure how all this works just yet since I'm new to this….lets see…Ah ha!

I am in an alley….a dark, damp, dirty alley. I look around and only saw walls that make up this alley with only a path that leads forward and backwards. How the heck did I get here? I am sure I was nowhere near an alley before I arrived here. Heck, I didn't even left my house yet. Too darn busy baking cookies for my nieces. Shit! Did I left the oven on? No wait, I haven turn it on yet so I'm safe there.

Wait, this isn't like one of those fanfictions that I've read that the main character got whisk away into another world is it? Shit. Well then, time to deal with it like a man instead of acting like most of the SI's that was panicking like a headless chicken for at least a chapter before they mysteriously get their shit together for some reason. I shall deal with this in a very calm and organized fashion.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"

Yes, a very very calm and organized fashion indeed. Good job me.

Now, currently problem, Where am I? I look forward and saw a bunch of people walking pass the alley that I'm in. They didn't see me since it was a rather dark one and I'm hidden by the shadow cast by the buildings. Hmm, seem to be a very normal place sans the odd looking buildings. Time travel? A loud noise passed by over head, causing me to look up and saw a large weirdly designed but still awesome looking yet strangely familiar airship. Okay, not time travel then.

"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-'

Wow, I'm still not done yet? Reality must be hitting me harder than I thought. Then, I look forward again and saw a person with rabbit ears walking pass. Oh, now I know why that airship looks so familiar. I'm in RWBY. Double shit then. I guess that means dealing with monsters that looked like the offspring of a nope with another nope.

"-CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC-"

Wow, I don't recall my lungs being able to hold that much air before. Must be something that only happens when I find myself in an absurd situation like right now.

"-CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC- oh lookie, a flaming sword." Ah right, my short attention span. I forgot about that. That flaming sword is pretty wicked though.

Now that I've dealt with the shock in a manly fashion I should start planning on my immediate survival so that I don't die horribly in this world. Fighting Grimms is out since I'm not much of a fighter against giant nopes that looked like the spawn ofa drunk Satan and a leviathan. Hmm I wonder if any shops are hiring right now. Maybe I could start my own business in this world.

I mean I do bake cookies that pack a mean punch. My cute little nieces are the living testimonial of that statement. I'm pretty sure I could get a certain cookie lover to be my regular customer in this world. You know what? Fuck it, I'm going to try and take over this world with my army of cookie men. It's better than an army of flying monkeys since cookies can be eaten. Monkeys? Not so much.

Due to a force of habit I started tapping my feet against the floor whenever I'm in deep thought. Due to this habit I realised something very crucial. My feet is tapping against the cold, dirty floor. Feet, as in no shoes. Then a gust of wind blew pass me and I felt it brush pass the thing hanging between my tights. I looked down and saw my body standing there in all it's naked glory.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"

Yes, I got transported here without anything at all. Not even clothes. Fuck me sideways. Thus, this marks the beginning of my hatred for the being responsible for sending me here. My hatred burns with passion. It's flames can rival the heat of Tartarus. My burning gaze shall melt the eternal ice of- oh look!That's a neat looking gun.

Oh well, at least I'm not fat. I wouldn't say that I'm bulky or anything, just well-toned. I'm more of a speed build rather than a strength build since I rather hit fast and disappear rather than hit slow and miss. How am I not embarrassed at being naked in board daylight you ask? Well for one, no one can see me right now since I'm hidden by the shadows. Two, what's there to be embarrass of? Tis not like people are born with clothes on. So stand tall and be proud of your body. Yeah I was kidding about that part. Truth is, I'm just waaaaay past the point of caring right now so yeah….

Anyway this is where I met her. Yes, I met her here. In all my nakedness. I think I should stop the flashback now. No? Damn.

The sound of footsteps echoing around the alley stopped me mid cursing. My ears perked up when I head it and realised that it came from behind me. I spun around and was knocked over by a white blur. The impact drew the air away from my lungs and thus removing my recently acquired ability to shout a single word for more than five minutes straight. Shame though, it was a great ability.

"Ow ow ow, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorr- Kyaaa!" a girlish voice shouted mid-apology all of the sudden.

I look up and saw a heavily blushing Ruby Ro-...wait, white cloak? I thought Ruby wears a red one. Summer? Oh, Shi-.

I didn't finish the thought as I felt something sharp pressing against my neck. I move my eye down and saw a long blade pressing against it and I trace the blade back to it's owner. Oh, she uses a sword. Hmm, she seems quite young so I'm guessing that Ruby isn't born yet. This also means that my foreknowledge about the series is rendered null. Woopdeedoo.

Summer Rose is currently trying to kill me it seems if her venomous yet confused gaze is of any indication. I haven't even done anything wrong yet and she already thinks I'm someone to be rid of for the sake of the world. I guess running into a naked man could do that to your thinking process.

"Y-y-you pervert! Why are you even standing around in the middle of an alley butt naked!? Oh my gosh! Are you planning on raping someone!? I should call the police right this instant and put you behind bars." Summer's eyes are somehow spinning in an anime fashion, you know, with the circle thingy whenever the character gets dizzy. Looks like she's confuse on what to do right now.

Oh great. Just great. A few minutes in this world and I'm already branded as a pervert by the main character's mother. As if this day coul- Hold that thought! The power of jinxes should not be underestimated so easily. I look up and saw her still talking in complete panic. Good, at least she's still talking. I gives me time to think of a way out of this.

'Quick! Tell her that you're actually an Evil Overlord from another dimension that was testing out a new spell but somehow ended up here all naked.'

What the Fuck? Brain? Where the bloody hell did that idea come from?

'From you're Brain duh.'

Oh yeah- I mean no! That idea won't work. I need her to trust me, not listed off as someone with mental issues.

'How about you were fighting a giant space octopus that shoots ink that can melt through your clothes but otherwise left your flesh undamaged and leaving you stark naked before ripping open a wormhole and tossing you into it and that you've just woken upin this alley after the battle.'

….Dude….you have issues.

'I'm you, you dumb nut, if you said that I have issues then that means you're saying that you yourself have issues.'

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Any other bright ideas then? I think shes about to finish ranting.

"Well there is one that I have right now. Here take a look.'

Oh wow that might actually work. Brain, you're devilish bastard.

'Mwahahaha, praise me more.'

No

'Screw you.'

"W-well!? What do you have to say for yourself?" Summer stammers, oh hey, it rhymes. Ow, crap she's pushing the sword deeper against my neck.

Time to put plan bullshit into action.

"You know what I'm not even going to bother dealing with you right now." I said while rolling my eyes before pushing her sword away from my neck with my hand before getting up. This caused her to be confused momentarily before she shook her head to clear her thoughts and point her sword at me again.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" she glared at me, although her attempts to look menacing was ruined by the blush on her face.

Step one: Ignore her. Bitches hate being ignored and it just might buy you a few seconds.

"Well I'm not. Look, I'm having a really bad day right now so if you can do me a favor and stop pointing that stick at me?" I kindly asked, pointing at the sword that was inches away from stabbing my chest.

Summer huffs, clearly unconvinced about what I said about this being a bad day for me.

"Yeah right, the only thing bad about your day today is being put behind bars." Oh wow, I have no idea that I looked so shady for her to distrust me this much. Might have something to do with my dong hanging out in the open.

"Well, there is the part about me being Rob'd stark naked and then I got accused by a random girl that was too quick to jump to into conclusions for some reason that I was a pervert and needed to be place behind bars."

"Wait, you've been robbed? Even you're clothes are stolen?" Summer asked in disbelief, her sword lowering as she did so. Wow, she sure believes it easily. Then again, what I said was the truth after all. Just Rob'd not robbed. Gotta love the way to play around with words. And I didn't even have to tell a single lie.

"Why else would I be naked in the middle of an alley?" I asked while gesturing to my entire body. Summer's gaze followed but immediately snaps her eyes back to mine when she saw my thingamajig and turned even redder. Heh, kinda fun to mess with her.

"Then a few moments after being Rob'd I got knocked over by some strange girl and she started accusing me for being a pervert and started poking me with her sword and wanted nothing more than to put me in jail." I cross my arms and narrowed my eyes at her causing her to flinch guiltily.

Step two: Guilt trips. Ha! Take that Summer. Bet you can't pull a one eighty and make me feel sorry about making you sad eh? Wait, did I just-

Then she pulled out a trick in her daughter's book and used the puppy dog eyes on me. "I'm sowie." she sniffed, tears started to fall from the corner of her eyes. She could be acting but I have no proof of it. "It's just that *Sniff* I'm just so excited when I found out that I've been enrolled into Beacon and I thought I could start my career as a Huntress early by taking in a bad guy." Her sobs became more audible as she went on. She rubbed her cheeks as her tears reached it. Her other hand was clutching her skirt tightly.Ah~, still innocent from the evil of the world I see.

Well, looks like she's just a rookie and not the badass Summer Rose that was told in the series. Not yet anyway, but she will be. Apparently she's genuinely sorry about accusing me like that and is about to cry up a storm unless I do something. Fucking jinxing mechanics.

Brain.

'Yeah?'

You did not planned for this.

'How was I suppose to know that the legend of the puppy dog eyes were true. It was suppose to be just a myth damn it!'

Well it's CERTAINLY not a myth as it's being used right in front of us right this exact moment.

'Shit. Well, stop guilt tripping her already and find some way to acquire clothes.'

Brilliant plan.

"Alright, alright. Look, I'm sorry for being so harsh on you. This is just been a really bad day for me. I mean I've just got kicked out of my apartment, lost my job and even lost my clothes and all my money with them." I explained. It's all true too since my apartment is in another world so I might as well say that I was kicked out of it, my part-time job counts too. So, no lies there.

Summer stopped crying after a few sniffs and looked at me with a sorry look in her eyes. "Okay." she said weakly. Damn you brain, you made a lady cry.

'Oi, you're they one who said it to her in the first place. What does it have to do with me!?'

You're the one who gave me that idea!

'Well you're the one who put it into action! Well, if it weren't for my quick thinking we would be in jail. Or worst! I don't think yo-'

"Erm… shouldn't you cover yourself?" Summer asked, eye's still puffy and keeping her sight above my collarbone, forcing herself not to look down. Oh right, I forgot that I'm naked.

"I'm pretty much past the point of caring already. In fact before you ran into me I was planning on walking straight out without giving a damn on what others think about me." I shrugged without a care in the world. I might have lost the ability to care about trivial matters when I found out that I was Rob'd.

"What!?" Summer shouted, earlier crying episode forgotten. "You can't do that! You might ended up worst than being in jail!" Oh wow, she sounded quite worried there. And to think that a few seconds ago this girl was trying to put me behind bars herself. Sob story for the win. Yay~.

"Well I certainly don't have any ideas left." I sighed for real. I really have no idea what to do about my clothes problem. I don't want to be labeled as a pervert by the rest of the world either.

Summer seemed to be deep in thought for a moment before clapping her hands together, getting my attention. "I know! I could spare some Lien so you could buy some clothes in the store nearby" She nodded to herself satisfyingly "It's the least I could do after running you over and tried to behead you just now." Oh wow, so you didn't deny that you were trying to murder me moments ago.

Oh well that's a good plan, I get clothes, Summer doesn't feel guilty for the pseudo murder that she almost committed and we all could go our own way afterwards. Only one problem though.

"*Ahem*" I cough into my hand to get her attention. Summer turn to me questioningly. I gesture at myself again and she seemed to realised the flaw of her plan. She was blushing again before stammering "F-f-fine, I'll go buy the clothes for you so just stay here." and she ran off towards the distance.

Ah youth, always heading straight for the future, never looking back.

'You do realised that you're the practically the same age as her right?'

Shut it. I just survive almost being brutally murdered by the mother of a character that I thought weren't real until a few moments ago. I have the right to act like an old man.

Soon she returned in a rather grumpy mood, carrying a shopping bag in one hand. When she saw me her mood got even worst. What did I do this time?

'Do not question a woman's logic my friend. If she's angry for no reason then she has the right to be angry for no reason.'

Since when did you became an expert in women?

'Just now.'

"Here." Summer grunted as she pass the bag for me. I took it with a raised brow. "What's got you so worked up about?" I asked innocently, hoping that I won't offend the sleeping dragon hidden deep inside the woman's subconscious.

She huffed and crossed her arms "It's because of you, Amy thought that I was buying these clothes for my boyfriend and I might have denied it too strongly and got her suspicious about it. And now I'm too embarrassed to go back whenever I want to buy some new clothes."

How the fuck is that my fault?

'Like I said. Do not question a woman's logic, we can stay sane this way.'

"Amy?"

"The clerk in my favorite shop in Vale" she explained, still mad at me for some reason. Hmm, I just realised that this flashback is rather long.

'What ca talking about?'

Oh nothing.

"Why didn't you go to another store instead?" I asked in a matter of fact tone.

"Of course I can't. Didn't you know that there's a sale of fifty percent off with each purchase and a ten percent off for those with a membership card?" She said it like it's some common knowledge that I'm suppose to know.

I have no idea what she just said.

'Just nod my friend, just nod.' And so I did.

"Aren't you going to wear the clothes that I've bought for you?" Summer asked, eyebrow raised. Although she didn't show it but she was eager to know what I would think about the clothes that she had chosen for me since her eyes kept darting to the bad in my hands. Must be a girl thing.

I opened the bag and looked in. Silent descended upon us as I turn my sights back at Summer.

"Pink?"

"It looked cute alright." she defends herself while looking away blushing.

"Pink boxers?" I asked flabbergasted.

"Alright alright I get it. You can stop saying it now." she buried her face in her hands in shame. Sad that I didn't noticed that it was to hide her smirk.

Seeing that it's better than nothing I slip it on. Let it be known that I will neither admit nor denied that it actually felt comfortable.

With my manhood covered Summer could finally look at me and was blushing less now since she could look at me without at least forcing herself to stare above my collarbone. I took out the next piece of clothing, light pink trousers with a picture of a grinning chibified Ursa on the left pocket.

I narrowed my eyes at the buyer, said girl just whistles innocently while putting her hands behind her back and leaning back a bit. Oh, I have no doubt that she's enjoying the torment that I'm feeling right now.

Sighing in defeat I quietly slip the damn thing on, earning a smirk from my tormentor. Sadistic woman. I will have my revenge one day, just you wait.

Bracing for another surprise, I quickly took out the last piece of clothing in the bag.

Bright PINK T-shirt with a picture of a chibified Beowolf winking and making a peace sign over it's eye, accompanied by a rainbow on the top. The back of the shirt is the buttock of the Beowolf with a small X to mark it's arse hole.

Oh, it's on bitch. I'm not sure when and I'm not sure how but I will get my revenge one way or another.

I turn my attention to the now snickering Summer that's trying her hardest not to laugh out loud. I quickly put on the shirt and face the laughing girl. She noticed that I was looking at her with my 'not amused expression' and finally lose it when she noticed that I was wearing the clothes that she bought for me.

Summer was kneeling on the ground, clutching her stomach while laughing like a maniac. Okay maybe not like a maniac but that's how it looked like to me. I patiently waited for her to stop like a gentlemen that I am while plotting what kind of revenge I should unleashed upon her. I have a shit ton of ideas already.

'Nothing lethal mate.'

Of course nothing lethal, I'm not that evil.

'Dude, you were planning on-'

Hush, hush, hush Brain. It's my problem now. You just sit back and watch.

'Alright then, you'll deal with the fallout on your own when the time comes.'

And thus I never heard from my brain ever again.

The sound of coughing brought me back and I saw Summer coughing on the ground from all the laughing.

"Done yet?" I asked in an annoyed tone.

She wipe a tear out of her eye while still snickering. "Yeah, sorry about that. It was just too funny." She took a deep breath before getting up and dusting her skirt. She looked at me with the most innocent look on her face, all smiles and stuff.

On the side note, I've learned a few weeks later that she originally bought normal male clothing for me before being teased by this Amy character. Then she got all mad for some reason and pick all the pink ones. But that's something that happened in the future.

I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes. "Well since you're done now I think I should be going. I still need to find a part time job and a place to stay.

A sudden glint in her eyes and the devious grin on her face informed me that she has an idea. She vanished from her spot and reappeared in front of me and grabbed my hand in a very tight grip. I think I could hear my bones cracking. "I know a place." she said before dragging me off towards her destination.

And thus we've reached her destination in record time. I could feel that my right hand is a little longer than my left one now.

"Welcome." A middle aged woman from behind a wooden counter beamed happily when she saw Summer entering her shop.

"Heya, Aunt May." Summer waved happily at the woman. She has long green hair tied into a bun and a gentle green eyes that could turn even the toughest thugs in the neighbourhood into docile children. Needless to say, I'm scared of her for some reason and I don't have a freaking clue why I felt this way.

The woman finally noticed me behind Summer and suddenly gained a mischief glint in her bright green eyes. Please tell me that she's not going to tease Summer about me being her boyfriend just because she dragged me in here.

"Oh my~ bringing your boyfriend here already Summer? You sure work fast." the lady teased as she place a hand over her mouth, eyes sparkling with mischief.

I knew it! It's like the housewife group doesn't have anything else to tease the younger generation about. I eyed Summer and saw her stuttering out excuses with her face painted bright red.

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Ouch, strong denial much. And to think that we were getting along so well after your pseudo murder attempt.

Oh no. I know how this works. I need to plug the flag out before it rises! But how!? Brain, you there? No? Shit, I'm on my own for this.

"I'm more of a glorified mobile bag carrier than a boyfriend though." I said with full seriousness in my voice, causing the two ladies to look at me weirdly. Oh well, at least I stopped Summer from going to the 'do I really like him?' mindset. Fucking anime cliché.

"Anyway~" I said, dragging out the word as I look around the place. I saw shelves of baked goods all neatly lined up. The products, ranging from small cookies to full size cakes. "a bakery huh?" I asked Summer.

She suddenly stood proudly and place her hands on her waist. "That's right, the best bakery in the whole darn world." she said proudly.

"Aww, thanks hon. But I'm sure there are others that are better than my old rundown shop." Aunt May was waving her off embarrassingly but one could tell that she was quite happy when Summer said her bakery was the best.

"And you brought me here because?"

Summer blinked before realising what she was suppose to do here. "Oh right. Aunt May, you said that you wish there was a helping hand for baking right?"

Aunt May taps her lips in deep thought. "Hmm, I do recall saying that yes."

Summer then points at me. Didn't your mother taught you that it's rude to point at people? "Meet your new assistant." Summer said with glee.

"Well, he seems like a capable young man but he's certainly not going to work here while wearing that." May said while gesturing at what I'm wearing. The two lovely ladies have a nice laugh about my attire before I was hired.

And thus marks the beginning of my life in RWBY verse. Also, Summer was a frequent customer and I managed to pull my revenge within the six weeks that I'm been here. How? By denying her the cookies that she craves so much. Mwahahaha. Sadly, thanks to that I've also learned why I was, and still am, very afraid of Aunt May. Oh, the horror. I think the Grimms would think twice about attacking humanity if we've just sic Aunt May on them.

"Hey! Are you even listening me to me?" Summer knocked me out of my extremely and ridiculously long flashback before pouting cutely at me. Oh god. This level of cuteness should be illegal, she just makes me wanna cuddle her in bed and make her squirm….Shit, bad thoughts there mate, bad thoughts.

Obviously I can't be the one for her since she need to hook up with Taiyang Xiao Long in some point in the future to produce Ruby...Unless this is the sort of fic where I became the father of Ruby Rose instead and genuinely fuck up canon big time. Hold on a darn minute, wasn't there suppose to be a Faunus war some point in the future when the Faunus can't deal with the racism shit anymore? Well damn.

Oh well, at least I'm more skilled in dealing with humanoid creatures than monsters that came out of a children's nightmare. Besides I should be fine for the moment since White Fang doesn't exist yet. Most I have is a few years or a decade or two to change the human's view on the Faunus before shit hits the fan. Heh, Racism. Some things just never change don't they?

"Oh course I was listening." 'but I wasn't paying attention to it at all' I left the last part out.

As you can see, I have no clue on what to do right now. White Fang's nonexistent, for now anyway. The main casts aren't even born yet. The badass grown up hunters that were in the series are still in their training wheels. I do have an idea in the planing stages but nothing solid yet.

Hmm, right now I could literally stop the antagonists from being born by cockblocking their parents or something. It ain't murder if they were never born in to begin with. Or I could guide Cinder to the light side or whatever. Still don't know why she's did all that crap in the series for anyway. Hmm… I wonder what kind of rating this fic would have. Definitely a T rating since I've been swearing a lot until now.

I started walking towards the school in hopes of finding the Amphitheater. "I'll be in the Amphitheater if you need me little Rose." I called out behind me for Summer to hear.

"I'm not little! I drink milk!" she shouted back. Heh, sensitive about her height like just her daughter. I ignore the angered cries of the banshee and made a beeline straight to the place where all the newbies were suppose to go.

"Hey wait, where are we suppose to go? Are we suppose to go to our dorms? Where is my dorm? Do we have dorms? Ugh, I have no idea what I'm doing." I heard Summer called out as her footsteps was heard, zoning in on me rapidly. I froze in my steps. Oh. My. God, that's the exact same line as Ruby said when she reached Beacon. Don't tell me that-

*Crash*

"What are you doing!?" another female voice screeched. Oh you have got to be kidding me.

I slowly turn around and was greeted by the sight of Summer being reprimand by a very angry Schnee. Let see here, pale skin, white hair and medium-light blue eyes. Hair is tied up in a bun at the back of her head, except of her bangs which are brushed off to the right side of her face, and a small lock of hair that reaches below her left ear. Yep, it's the younger version of Winter Schnee. What is she wearing you ask? White, duh.

Great, now all we need is a Blake lookalike before the we can list this off as something that the next generation would do once they've reached Beacon.

Oh lookie, here she co..mes? Okay, who the heck is that.

Long black hair that's messy, pale complexion, red eyes, a very nice figure. A very very nice figure. Nope, never seen this hot chick before.

She slowly walks towards the duo and started talking to them. She managed to get Winter to calm down with a few words. Then came a teen with dark spiky hair with the same red eyes as the woman that came before him. They looked quite alike so I'm betting that they're siblings. Is he- Oh god, he is. He's hitting on Winter. Someone give that guy a medal. Shit, I wish I could hear what they are saying right now but I don't wanna ruin the moment for them by going there.

Wait, wasn't Winter suppose to be a student in Atlas Academy? Huh, Maybe something happened and she had to transferred there. Oh well guess I'll never know until then.

I begin staring at the new comers, mostly just the hot chick. And I think I am starting to piece together their identity. Slowly but surely they are starting to look very familiar to me for some reason. Wait, I've got it! It's her boobs. It's the same size as Yang's. So that means that she's her mother. Ha! I managed to reconsigned Yang's mother just by her breast size, brilliant.

That means the guy hitting on Winter is Qrow- annnnd he just got kneed in the balls and is laying motionless on the ground. Don't worry brother, I shall establish a statue for your balls in the memory of your bravery in attempting the impossible. Oh, Winter just left with a very annoyed expression on her face.

I wonder if Ozpin has his coffee addiction yet.

Hmm, I guess I haven't explained why I'm in Beacon yet did I? But if I did, then I would need to have another ridiculously long flashback again. Oh well, nothing to lose here. Flashback Go!

What? A cooldown timer? There's a freaking cooldown timer for this thing? Damn it Rob, now you're just being childish. Oh wait, you always were. Well then, I have twenty minutes to spare before lunching flashback part two and I shall use this time to diligently analyze the parents of the main casts.

Yes, I'm getting a lot of data in a very short amount of time already.

'Dude, stop staring at her boobs.'

Oh, Brain! You're back. I missed you.

'Liar.'

Yeah, you're right. It's creepy to have another voice in my head.

'I think she noticed you staring.'

What!? Nonsense, my peeping skills is at Master Ninja level.

'Hmm, true...I guess she just noticed that there's someone standing on the same spot for a while now and is staring at them for a while. Then again, you do look pretty shady with what you're wearing.'

Bitch, I looked fabulous.

'*snort*'

Did you just snorted in my head?

'Oh look, she's pointing at us.'

Wah?

True to what my brain just said, the raven haired bombshell was pointing at me and saying something to Summer. Now I'm really doubting whether if my peeping skills is really at Master Ninja level.

Summer turned to look at me and then back at the raven haired female before saying something to her. Raven, yeah let's call her that since it's her hair colour after all. What are the odds that it's actually her real name. Said something to Summer causing her to have a very surprised look on her face and turn towards me.

Brain?

'Yeah?'

Do you think that it's time to bail?

'Yep.'

And so I ran with the type of speed that would put Ruby's semblance to shame.

Moments ago, with Summer

"Oh god, I can feel my future kids suing me for child abuse." Qrow, moaned in pain on the floor, completely unable to move due to the pain that he's experiencing. I guess the legend of the nut cracker were true. Is it really that painful though?

Raven took a glance at her brother before saying "He's fine. Really." with even batting an eye. Winter took at look at the downed Qrow before huffing and left. I just stood there not knowing what to do.

I look back at my recently acquired friend. Raven and Qrow are quite friendly, if you ignore the part where Qrow like's to flirt around with girls most of the time. Then there's the Schnee girl, she has some anger issues but other than that I think she's a nice person after talking to her once Raven calmed her down.

"Well then, now that you aren't being verbally assaulted by the Ice Queen. I think we should head to the Amphitheater since the assembly is about to begin." Raven said to me.

My eye's widen when I heard that. "Oh right! I have no idea where the Amphitheater is." at least I won't have to worry about not being able to find it anymore since there's someone else with me.

"Yeah, me too." Raven just sighed.

My jaw dropped when I heard that. How are we suppose to find the place now? I look at the person still moaning in pain on the ground in hopes that he has some idea on the place's location. "He was the one that got us lost in the first place so I highly doubt that he knows where it is." Raven explained once she saw my eyes on her brother.

I let out a defeated sigh. "Looks like we'll have to keep looking then."

"Or we could just ask that shady looking guy that has been standing over there, watching us for a while." Raven brought my attention towards the person that she was pointing.

I found her pointing at a tall teen wearing his oddly designed black Jacket with his pointed hood on, he placed his emblem that looks like an A with out the line in the middle and bended line underneath it on his shoulder. Followed by his loose black cargo pants with the same design, steel plated fingerless black glove and steel toed black combat boots. I questioned him about the design once and he looked quite proud of it. I can't help but feel that there's some story behind it's design.

He said he designed it in memory of his favorite video game character Ezio or something. He has that infuriating smirk on his face again. The one that he usually wears whenever he knows something but would share what he knows. I completely forgot that he was there for a moment.

"You looked like you know him. Is he your friend?" Raven asked curiously while eying him.

I begin scratching my chin in deep thought. "Hmm, I guess you could say that he's my friend? Personal cookie maker? Rival? Prank partners?" I said uncertainly, not really sure what kind of relationship that we have right now.

"Hmm, I see." Raven hmm'd her eyes glimmering with some unknown intention as she eyed him in the distance. "Prank partners?" she finally ask as she turn to me again.

I let out an embarrassed laugh before saying "Yeah, we kinda had a prank war going on for a few days. After a prolonged battle that ended up with both parties tired and ragged just to prove who's the best we decided to call a truce and started pranking other people instead." Good times, good times. I wonder if Aunt May actually managed to remove the strawberry stain on the ceiling yet.

"Well, call him over. He looks kinda lonely standing over there all by himself." Humph, I doubt it. I swear it's harder to get him to go out and meet with other people than it is to kill an Alpha Grimm. I opened my mouth to shout out his name but a sudden realisation hit me like a megaton of bricks that was shot out of a naval cannon that was placed in front of my face. I think Raven might have noticed that something was wrong and started to look worryingly at me.

"Summer? What's wrong." her voice was full of concern.

"I don't know his name" I mumbled out.

"What?" Raven asked, unable to hear me.

"I don't even know his name!" I practically shouted it out, eyes widening when I realised how absurd it was.

"Oh, is that it? Come on, it's not that weird." Raven wave her hand in front of her in a 'clam down' gesture.

"How can it not be weird!? I've known the guy for over a month now. I see him like practically everyday and not once did I hear his name being mentioned in a conversation or being said by others." I think back on those six weeks that I've known him. True to what I've just said, his name was never mentioned at all. I think Aunt May knows about me not knowing and decided not to say his name whenever we talk just to mess with me. How come I never asked?

It was Raven's turn to look confused. "How did you get by an entire month without calling him by his name then?"

I put both my hands on the side of my head and begin rubbing them. "Hmm, lets see." I summon all my memories that I've been with him during the six weeks that I've met him.

"Hey~ make me cookies."- After finding out that he could make delicious cookies.

"You! Get your ass moving."- When helping out Aunt May in her bakery.

"Bastard! I'll get you for this."- During the prank war period.

"Cheater, I bet you can't fight me head on if you didn't cheat."- During sparing.

"Butler, get me some ice."- During a very hot and lazy day.

"Jerk."- When mad for some reason.

Nope, not once did I ever use his name. I usually use 'You' or 'Hey' or just 'Oi' whenever I see him.

"I got by." I answered seriously, trying to hide the fact that I called him with plenty of insulting names before. Though, he didn't seem to mind and laugh them off. In order not to be questioned by Raven anymore I quickly decided that I should call him over and ask him to introduce himself to them, that way I can finally know his name without having to ask him myself. Best excuse ever.

I turn around to call him only to find him missing from the spot that he was standing on. There seem to be a trail of smoke leading towards the building however.

"…." I just stare at the spot where he used to be. "Well then, I suppose we should start looking for the place." I said cheerfully, completely avoiding eye contact with Raven.

Just then someone was shouting from behind us. "Hey, wait up." the two of us turn towards the voice and saw a young man with blond hair and lilac eyes running towards us. We then turn to each other and ask the silent question of 'do you know him' to each other. Seeing that we both have no clue on the blond's identity we both decided to wait for a bit to see what he wants.

He was bending over, hands on his knees and panting quite hard when he reached us. "Woah, haven't ran that fast for a while now." he said, trying to regain his breath.

"Whew. So, are you guys going to the Amphitheater? Mind if I tag along?" he asked with a smile while looking at us. When his eye's reached Raven's he seemed to blush a bit before fighting it down. Oh ho~ looks like there's something fun to for me to do afterwards.

"Thing is, we have no idea where it is right now." Raven answered the blond while shaking her head a bit. Apparently she noticed the blush and it was something normal for her.

"Oh, don't worry. I know where it is." He perked up at that, thumping his chest triumphantly.

Raven turn to me and raise a brow and I just shrugged.

"Alright then, led the way..." Raven trails off.

"Taiyang, Taiyang Xiao Long. Just call me Tai for short." He happily introduced himself before taking lead and started heading towards what I assumed to be the direction of the Amphitheater. Seeing that we finally have someone to lead us there we followed.

After a while of following the blond I sudden had the feeling that something was missing and said. "Do you think that we've forgotten something?"

Raven taps her cheeks for a while. "Nah, I don't think so." she shrugged and continue on.

"Sis…. Don't leave me…." the plead of the fallen Qrow was ignored by everyone else.

Back with the SI

'Dude, we're lost aren't we.'

Fuck no, We just...don't know where we are right now.

'...Really? That line?'

Oh shut it, I'm trying to find out where the god damn Amphitheater is.

After running away from Summer and the rest I found myself in a very long corridor. A very, very long corridor. There's no one around, so I'm guessing that they're already at the Amphitheater. So I can check asking others for the location off my mental list. As I walk I could feel the emptiness of the place, just like an abandoned grave. I think I saw a hay ball being blown across the corridor. Geez, you can make a horror movie in here.

I could only hear the faint sound of my breathing and a set of footsteps that echoed eerily throughout the place….wait, footsteps?

'Footsteps -Noun- also known as the sound that was created when people's feet tap the ground when they walk. Not that strange to hear it if you're walking, duh.' My brain helpfully supplies.

Brain.

'Yeah?'

I don't make sounds when I walk.

'Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Then who could it b-' He never got the chance to finish as I turn around the corner and bumped into someone with a clank. The force of the crash caused me to fall onto the ground flat on my back. The one I ran into seemed to be like a mountain, completely unmoving by the force of our crash.

"Ow." I let out. Hey, this floor kinda feels comfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry." the person I ran into apologized. But I chose it ignore it in favor of just laying on the ground.

"Erm, are you okay?" a familiar female voice called out causing me to push myself back up and abandoning the comfy floor. My eyes widened when I saw who it was and pointed a finger at the person.

"Hey! You're that blond lady that unlocked my Aura for me." I said, but it's mostly for the audiences sake since they don't know who she was yet.

Her eyes widened when she realised who I was. "Ah, it's you. How have you been." she has a small smile on her face when she asked that but underneath her eye is an emotion that I can't figure out yet. She seemed to be trying to distant herself from me. I don't smell do I?

"Oh, nothing much." I guess that's quite true in a sense since nothing much has happened after meeting her, save for Summer's constant sparing challenges after she found out that I'd my Aura unlocked.

'Oh hey, the cooldown's done.'

Really?

'Yep, wanna lunch flashback part two?'

Sure why not, it might explain who this lady is.

'Well, it might not explain much since you never got her name in the Bank.'

Wait, how did you know that? You weren't there when it happened!

'I'm you.'

Oh. Lunch Flashback part two if you will.

'Lunching flashback titled: Aura Unlocking.'

Aunt May was standing outside my doorway, tapping her foot on the wooden floor.

Right after Summer told Aunt May that I'm penniless as well as homeless she decided that I could take the spare room upstairs. Turns out that her shop is also her home. It has been four weeks after that. It's also been a week after getting my revenge against Summer. Oh, how I do enjoy tormenting her by denying her the cookies that I baked. Speaking of the cookies that I've baked. Ever since I started here the shop has been getting a lot more customers than usual. Summer usually hogs most of them though, it's a frequent sight to see her face stuff full of them while munching like a chipmunk and fighting off the other customers that acted like a zombie horde with a broom like a ninja.

Aunt May said that it might have something to do with my cookies but I highly doubt it. It's not that good is it? Oh well, guess I'll never know. Now where was I? Aunt May, right. You might ask why she is standing just outside my room looking like a disappointed parent, I must admit I asked the same thing too. It's not like I did anything wr-

"Don't you think that it's time for you to go out for once?" Aunt May has an annoyed parental look on her face. One that every parent has whenever their kid won't do as they're told. Oh right, going out. I forgot about that. Apparently I might have been cooped up for a wee bit too long since I generally am not a people person.

"But Aunt May." I whined and pouted. "I don't want to go out." sadly my pouting skills are weak and was not as effective as Summers so it didn't changed Aunt May's mind.

She let out a sigh when I said that. "It has been four weeks since you've came here and you've spent them all cooped up in this building and never stepping foot outside at all." she shook her head disappointingly at me.

Oi, most kids my age in my world are either getting drunk, addicted to drugs or pregnant. You should be glad that I'm just sitting here and baking cookies. Speaking of cookies, I wonder how Summer hasn't gotten any fatter at all. "That's not true, I totally went out before." I beamed happily while putting my hands on my waist.

"Taking out the trash doesn't count." Aunt May said with a 'I'm not amused expression', making me drop in disappointment as that excuse wasn't enough.

"Who else could help out in your store if I wasn't here." I tried to find bullshit excuses to remain indoors.

"I can managed without you for a day like I've always have before you were hired boy." Aunt May crossed her arms when she said that, emitting a 'are you looking down on me' aura.

I gulped, but otherwise stood my ground even though I knew that I would lose in the end. Aunt May narrowed her eyes when she saw me challenging her authority silently. She let he arms down and reached behind her for something. I froze and took a step back when I saw her action, knowing full well that she was going to bring out the weapon that made me realised just why I was so afraid of her in the first place.

Impossible! I was sure that I swipe it off her before and hid it well. Does she have another one? Curses! How many does she have in her possession. One demonic weapon that would make any grown man quake in their boots was enough already but two!?

With a quick movement Aunt May was holding said demonic weapon in her hand and tapping it against the palm of her other hand. Oh God. It's glittering in the light and there isn't any source of light for it to glitter from. It's that god damned soup ladle again! It was emitting a blood thirsty aura that could rival the spear of that Irish hound that always ended up getting killed for some reason. I swear I could hear the cries of all it's previous victims weeping and wailing from it. There's a familiar voice that sounded suspiciously like Summers but I was too shaken up to notice.

"I don't see you moving." She said in a playful voice.

"Mam Yes Mam!" I straightened up instantly and run to the closet to grab my black jacket before rushing past her like a bullet. I might have forgotten to mentioned that after a week of working here I finally have enough money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so happy that I could finally get stop wearing all those pinks I actually sobbed in relief.

Now my outfit consist of a red T-shirt, blue jeans and white sport shoes. All those pink monstrosities are kept in the deepest part of the closet, carefully hidden away from the light of the world. I didn't throw them away since they were the first gifts that I've ever received in this world and I wanna keep a memento of it. Also, they were comfortable to a degree but I will never let anyone catch me wearing them. NEVER!

And so I found myself in Vale. Big ass beautiful city. What do I think of it you asked? I think that we need a plague. Too many people here.

Now I just wandered around trying to find a bank so I could finally make my own account since I kept being reminded to make one by Aunt May. Anyway, it's not that hard to find the Bank right? Aunt May keeps telling me the direction and it's only ten minutes away from foot. How hard could it be?

And thus I find myself standing in front of a strip joint, sexy looking ladies outside luring in horny costumers with relative ease. Strangely enough, the strip joint is on the other side of the city that was suppose to take four and a half hour of walking in a straight line but I somehow managed to reach it in a few minutes. Just how bad is my sense of directions?

Well, seeing that I have nothing to lose right now I walk in the place with a stride.

And that's now I find myself sitting in a cafe, sipping on some great tea. Not as good as mine's but it'll do. Apparently, you needed to be twenty to be able to enter the place. There's something bothering me when I heard that though. I did some research online and found that you can be a Pornstar at eighteen but you needed to be twenty to enter a strip joint? The age limits in this world doesn't make any sense at all. This is blasphemy I say!

Anyway I said what I was thinking about the age limit to the guy guarding the door and now he's here in front of me, draining the contents of his seventh can of beer. Looks like he doesn't get it too and has gained some inner turmoil from that question that I've asked.

"I just don't get it man." he sobbed. "Just what is wrong with the world nowadays."

"Don't worry about it too much bud. If we don't get it, why bother trying to figure it out. We get to keep ourselves from turning gray this way." I said, flopping my hand in the air with my elbow on the table.

"Yeah, I guess you're right about keeping out hair from going gray. Thanks, you're actually a nice guy now that I think about it." Oh wow, a compliment. I haven't have one in ages. Oh wait, I did when Summer accidentally compliment my baking but quickly denies it afterwards.

"Although you are quite perverted if you're actually trying to enter a strip joint at the age of seventeen." he rambled on drunkenly. And he just killed it.

"Wish I could introduce mah boy to ya. Junior would be glad to have a friend like you."

Who now? Sounds familiar but I can't quite remember who. Does this mean he thinks of me as a friend!? Ha! Take that Aunt May! And you said that I would never be able to get a friend besides Summers. Well lookie here, I have a very drunk, confused door guard as my friend now.

I never got his name though, letscall him the door guy.

"Hey Door Guy, do you know where the Bank it?" I asked curiously, earning a nod from the drunken adult.

"Mind taking me there?" I requested while drinking my tea like a gentlemen.

And finally, I've reached the Bank with the assistance of the Door Guy. I wave good bye to the nice man as he walks back to the strip joint where he works, stumbling all the while. With him out of my sight, I walk into the Bank with a stride.

And thus, I find myself involved in a bank heist. You know what Aunt May, I am never leaving the Bakery anymore. I was push to one of the corners with the rest of the hostages since they messed up somewhere and the cops and Huntsmen and Huntress are outside, surrounding the place. Since help is already outside, I just have to wait until the find a way to save us all. No biggie. But the robbers aren't the problem here. It's what they're wearing.

There's five of them. The one with a ski mask seems to be the leader, the second on is wearing a pantyhose with three hole cut for his eyes and mouth. Third and forth is wearing a plastic bag with holes and the last one is just wearing a latex BDSM mask with a zipper on the mouth area….. also, he's naked with only the leather straps covering his nipples and groin area. It's like they're not even trying to conceal their identity.

You know… life was so much simpler back home.

The adults were covering the children's eyes and is glaring at the robbers with disdain. I'm covering the eyes of a Faunus kid that's sitting on my lap, petting him because I can, while wondering what went wrong with my life. The kids were crying in fear and the adults can't do anything in case the robber would fire upon the children. Hard to believe that there isn't a single Huntsman or Huntress in this Bank right now. Usually at times like this, the main character would be the ones to save the day and I still don't see anyone making a move to kick the robbers asses….

How hard could it be? I mean the only one with a gun is the leader and the other four is armed with knifes. Who rob banks with knifes anyway? And we outnumbered them ten over one. Don't tell me there this is where I'm suppose to make my debut as some sort of hero or Huntsman and tries to save the day. Nope, not doing it. Let's just wait and see how this plays out. Someone would eventually step up and do something about this.Did I just jinxed myself again?

The robbers were shouting for the bank clerks that were stuffing money into garbage bags, yes, garbage bags, to hurry it up. Dude, there's gotta be someone here who can fight.Can't anyone do something about this? Apparently not. The clerks hurriedly stuff fist fulls of cash into the bags with worried expression. Shouldn't there be security guards guarding the banks? I then noticed a notice on the notice board that made me notice that the notice on the notice board was informing people about vacation days for the security guards. Heh, so many notices. Anyway, Who the fuck put this out for everyone to read!? You're basically asking this place to be robbed. Am I in a comedy show!?

One of the kid was starting to cry rather loudly now. The leader turn his head towards the kid, I did too and saw a little Faunus girl with rabbit ears no less then four at the other end of the bank sobbing with her face against her mother's chest. Her mother was trying her best to calm her down, cooing to her that everything would be fine. Sadly, the leader is a stereotype bad guy and is about to do what I think he's going to do. To shut the kid up, either byshouting at her or by force.

Well then, this changes things. I would be fine if they just rob the damn place and left but harming a little kid? Not happening, especially not to such an adorable little fella. Darn me and my inability to resist cute things. And so I started planning as the leader slowly make his way towards the kid, like real slowly. It's if he wants to look cool while walking towards his target or this is the type of situation where the main character gets more time to make plans for the situation. I'm guessing that Rob has something to do with this. Fucking bastard just won't leave me alone.

And my solution the robbery problem? Nothing yet since everything I have ended up either with me getting shot or slashed or someone getting caught in the cross fire. I don't have Aura to block bullets like everyone else. I'm pretty sure I can't regenerate from that. Although someone in here might have their Aura unlocked already but they're not taking any risk to ensure the safety of others. If only I have someone to unlock my Aura for me….

Think, think, think….what would the main character in these situation do when they need help….Oh right. I slowly look to my right and saw a lady who's hair was tied into a ponytail with bright blue eyes. She's wearing white long sleeve buttoned shirt with frills on it's cuffs. She wears a long blue knee length skirt and brown boots. She was unarmed but she looked like she wanted nothing more than to throttle the robbers if they dare to harm a single hair on the cute kid.

But her eyes tells me that she was uncertain if she could do it without getting the hostages mixed up in it. She'll do, she'll do indeed. I left the kid whose eyes that I was covering to the person next to me and move towards the blond. I give her shoulder a tap causing her to be startled and spun around, sending a punch towards me face.

My eyes widen and quickly tilt my head right, the hand shot past where my head used to be with a faint sonic boom loud enough only for me to hear. It grazed my cheek and blood started to leak from it. And I thought that Summer was scary when she was mad. Obviously I was wrong; all women are scary.

I was still shaken from fright from the sudden assault of the blond lady. Now that I looked closer, I think she's my age so I guess calling her lady is inappropriate but I didn't care. She finally realised that she almost decapitated an innocent man and her eyes widen with guilt. Her hands were over her mouth, stopping her self from gasping so that we don't draw attention to ourselves.

She then glared at me for startling her and use her hands to signal me 'What is it?'. Truth be told, I don't know sign language so I was just guessing that was what she meant when she sign it.

"I need someone to unlock my Aura for me. Can you do it?" I lean closer and whispered next to her ear. She raise an eyebrow and then whispers "The unlocking of Aura is a sacred thing that should only to be done by those closest to y-" she started a lecture for some reason.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Look, we really don't have much of a choice right now." I interrupted her rudely as the leader is edging closer to the kid now. "No one's doing anything about this situation right now and I have a plan. But I need my Aura unlocked so I don't get heavily wounded or crippled by the if I messed up." I quickly explained while staring into her eyes with the most serious expression I could muster.

She stared at me weirdly but I seemed to be able to get through her as she just sighed heavily and nodded.

"You're right, I might be able to do something if I had my weapon with me but right now I'm just worried that someone else will get hurt if I tried anything." she admitted somberly.

Seriously? There's only five guys. They're all split up at different parts of the bank lobby. two is guarding the hostages on our side of the bank while the others is guarding on the other side where the leader is heading. How hard could it be to knock out these two guys and went after the rest? Well, it might have something to do with alerting the others when you take one down buthave they never heard of stealth take downs before?

"I could do something, but no guarantees until I try." I honestly admitted that I might fail. The blond seemed to be thinking hard on whether she should risk letting an unknown variable like me loose into the fray. Her eyes dart to the crying kid that's being approached by the leader that for some reason, is only half way there. My god, he sure is slow. But he looked good. Then her eyes dart back to me. The action repeats itself for a few more times as she ponder on what to do.

Eventually she gives up and agrees to unlock my Aura for me. "Alright, I'll do it. Do you know how it works?" she shifts her body to face me and sits on a seiza position. I furrow my eyebrows as I rack my memories for anything about Aura from the show and Wiki pages that I've read.

"Erm...you need someone to help you to unlock it?" I said, unsure whether I got that right or not.

"Or you could train and unlock it yourself but I doubt you have the time to do that here. Basically, asking others to unlock your Aura is like a jump start. It connects the souls of the one unlocking it with the one being unlocked. It's something that should only be done between family members as the one doing the unlocking might see a glimpse of the other' soul. That's why it's something only to be done between family members. No one wanted their deepest darkest secret to be seen by others so casually by others." The lady explained patiently. She looked up questioningly when she heard no responds and found that the person that she was explaining to had already fallen asleep in front of her.

A tick mark appeared on her forehead and she proceeds to pinch me and waking me up instantly and cover my mouth with her other hand to prevent me from screaming like a girl. "Let's just get this over with." she sighed annoyingly.

"There's an adage that must be spoken during the unlocking. Do you have yours or shall we use my families?" She asked seriously.

Adage? What does that mean? I don't have that word in my dictionary. I wonder if it's that funeral rite that Pyrrha said to unlock Jaune's Aura. "Does it have to be a funeral rite?" I asked curiously.

She just looked at me weirdly. "No, just say a proverb or short statement expressing something about you." she shook her head. "When you're ready, close your eyes and begin."

With that said, I close my eyes and think of something that would express something about me…. Or I could just say something random and hope I still get the same result. Dickbutt maybe? Nah, let's do this normally. What describes me the most? I don't really like how the world works with all it's pretty white lies, I think that the laws placed are mostly useless and restricting, I rather stay out of the spotlight and do things in the shadows.

Oh ho~ I got one.

"Where other men blindly followed the truth, remember...Nothing is true.." I begin, and I suddenly felt something entering my body. I'm taking a wild guess that it's the blond lady's Aura. It feels warm and fuzzy.

"Where other men are limited by morality or law, remember...Everything is permitted." The feeling is started to get heavy now, it feels like my body is being flooded by it.

"We work in the dark to serve the light. We are Assassins." I feel something trying to come out. I could feel it breaking free from it's restrains and- Oh wait, that was a fart. False alarm.

Okay here we go! Aura unlocked and ready to kick ass. My eye's opened and a faint trail of red smoke appeared in my field of vision but I dismissed it and quickly ran towards the ones guarding the hostages on my side. If I had looked back, I would have seen that the lady had a mixed expression of confusion, disgust, sympathy and fear.

It was a good thing that I didn't, otherwise I would have flip her off on instinct. I don't need anyone's pity...not anymore.

I immediately dashed to the neared goon that's wearing a plastic bag and slid under him between his legs with my hand held into a fish and raised up. Thus, when I slid past, my hand rammed into his manhood. He immediately dropped his knife and grab on to his future kids but before he could let out a sound I got up and planted a foot on the back of his head.

His fall might have alerted the other plastic bag wearing guy behind me as I notice him turning at the edge of my vision. I sprinted towards him then, bending down to pick up the knife from the other guy as I did so.

Just as the thug had spun around I leaped and slammed the blunt edge of the knife at his throat with great force. His sudden lack of air caused him to gasped for it and claw at his throat with his hands and dropping his own knife in the process. Because of my leap, I managed to land a few feet behind him and send an elbow at the back of his neck. I may or may not have heard a crack when my elbow hit.

My heart skipped a beat when I realised that I've made too much noise already. My eyes dart to the remaining three and my suspicion was confirmed to be true as the other three and already noticed and the leader was pointing his gun at me.

Without any hesitation I reach out for the knife on the floor and started running towards them. I toss both knifes at the leader's hand in hopes of hitting the gun away, the leader fired his gun once before a knife smack the gun from his hand and the other managed to hit the groin of the guy wearing the BDSM mask. I'm not very sure but I think I heard him let out a pleasurable moan when the ladle struck. I need brain bleach.

The bullet managed to hit my shoulder and it felt like exploding. I could feel the dust bullet drilling into my flesh. I thought Aura was suppose to be able to block these things!? I let out a gag as the bullet hits, my momentum stopped temporarily as I did so. I went on my knees and clutch the wound.I could feel blood starting to sip into my clothes. God damn it, that was my favorite shirt.

Seeing that I'm currently weaponless and injured the leader ordered the one with the pantyhose to, I quote 'deal with him'. Ah, but I'm not completely unarmed. I brought something with me today, a weapon that was crafted by the hands of a witch and she uses it to punish the wicked for her sadistic pleasure. A weapon so santanic that all those that stood in it's presence could feel it's evil.

As the one with the pantyhose got close, I took out Aunt May's soup ladle from my pocket. Yes, it was on me this entire time. I did an uppercut swing and slam it onto his chin, knocking him backwards and out cold.

The remaining robbers froze at the sight of it, I also noticed a few adults in the bank also froze when they see the ladle. it seems like they too could sense the cries and pleads of the ladle's victims. Other than that, everyone else was fine, especially the children. I turn my head around and saw that the blond lady was gone from her spot and is running towards me. I'm guessing that she saw me getting shot and came to save me. She doesn't seem affected by the blood thirsty aura that the ladle was emitting.

It seems that my theory was correct. The ladle only targets people who did something wrong. That would explain why I couldn't feel it's hunger for blood when Aunt May took it out to discipline Summer when she did something wrong and vise versa.

And thus, taking advantage of my opponent's temporally distraction I quickly finished them off with the demonic weapon made for housewives to use on their husbands or something. I defeated them in a series of moves that I'd like to call the 'Ladle Art of Parenting'.

the entire shenanigan leads to me being put in the front news of every newspaper titled 'Teen saves the day with just a Soup ladle'. This also leads to me having a good laugh with Summer when she showed it to me. Then it leads to the principal of Beacons reading it and coming to meet me in person which leads me into a whole different sort of mess as I didn't want to go there. Let's just say that he got my curiosity for the moment and I want answers.

And thus, I finished another long flashback and find myself being lead towards the Amphitheater by the Lady that I've met in the bank. She's currently wearing shining metal armor with gold lining at it's edges that covers her chest entirely. Metal gauntlets that nearly reach to her elbows and metal boots. At least I think it's metal. Underneath the armor is a blue one piece battle dress with long sleeves and knee length skirt with frills at the end. She has a gold emblem engraved into her armor. It looked like golden line bending upwards. Looks familiar for some reason. Right now with her armor on she looks like someone from my favorite visual novel.

I think I should ask her her name now, what do you think? Brain? And he's gone again.

"So what's you name?" I asked as I follow behind her. She turn her head around and narrowed her eyes at me distrustfully. Okay, what did I do this time?

She eventually turns back and continues walking with me following her like a lost puppy. I heard her sigh and then she spoke up. "My name is-"

'Please don't be Arthuria Pendragon, please don't be Arthuria Pendragon, please don't be Arthuria Pendragon.' I silently prayed.

"Juniper Arc." she finished. Oh thank god, it's not Saber. That means that this is not a crossover fic. Wait, Arc? Jaune's mum!? She looks so young! Didn't Jaune have like seven sisters? How did she managed to pop so many out before giving birth to Jaune? How can this be? Twins and triplets? Yearly sex?

'Hey, I'm back. Wut I miss?'

Brain! Do some math for me.

'What!? You know I suck at that.'

Well shit, fine we'll do it together and hope that we can figure out her age when Jaune is seventeen.

Juniper Arc

I was walking quickly towards the Amphitheater, the teen that I met during the bank robber was following behind as he. Although I'm wary of him, I still not quite sure what to think of him. He's looked so goofy and harmless when I first saw him back in the bank. He looked like someone who'd never been in a fight before. Then he proved me wrong by swiftly incapacitating the robbers by using dirty tactics and hitting inappropriate areas.

I don't like him. He just seemed out of it for some reason. When I talk with him it's It's like talking to a bipolar or an insane person. Completely unpredictable on what he's going to say or do next. My dislike increased especially after I heard his adage.

At first, I was confused. I've never heard an adage like the one he'd spoken before. It made him sound like some sort of rebel that would go against every rules and laws set for the safety of others. Then I felt disgusted when he said the word 'Assassins'. He claimed that he was one and they are actually serving a noble goal.

Bullshit, everyone knows that assassin's only kill for profit. The Arcs are no stranger to assassins as they are frequently sent by others because they were jealous or envious of our status in the world. I've took care of my fair share of them already.

Then came the memory when his Aura was unlocked. Most people didn't know that the memory you'll get during the unlocking was the one that has the strongest emotion linked to it. And so I saw a piece of his past that most likely made him the way he is now. I didn't see much at first, just a blurry figure of a person. I tried to dive deeper to find out more about him as he could be someone who will be sent to assassinate my family some point in the future. I wanted more information about him just in case.

I finally got through the blur and the scene changed completely. I saw snippets of pictures that's completely random. A burning city with strange buildings. Him kneeling on a barren ground in front of a tiny body with bloodied hands, crying. An improvised grave made out of branches with a ribbon tied in the middle. And a figure of a man laughing maniacally as he continue to watch the city burn.

I could hear a sentence, a frail tired voice that said to him. 'Please...don't forget me…' Then came the emotion, I could feel his sadness and pain crashing into me like a tidal wave. My heart goes out to him as I too know the feeling of loosing a love one. Then came his hatred, his pure concentrated resentment at the man laughing like a maniac filling every pore of his body.

To be truthful, I've never felt something like that before. I never knew that a person could have so much hate inside of them, if he had that kind hatred like he did back then, it would be enough to draw in any type of Grimms within a twenty five miles radius. By the time I realised it, I was shaking in fear and thanking Mothy that his hate wasn't directed at me.

By the time I regain control of myself I saw him getting shot and I instinctively ran out to aid him, forgetting what I saw and felt for the moment. I was halted from my dash when he pulled out the most ridiculous weapon that I've ever seen. A Soup ladle. Out of all the things he could have used as a weapon, he uses a Soup ladle. And so the mystery about him deepens.

I turn my head around and saw him deep in thought. But the way he looked is like he's having an interesting conversation with someone if his occasional attempts to stifle his laughter was anything to go by.

"Just who are you?" I murmured to myself as my questions about the mysterious boy continues to grow.

Back with SI, whose name has not been mentioned yet for some reason

Wow, this Amphitheater sure is big. I can see the bright sky in this glass dome. I look back down and saw bodies of students all gathered in this place, chatting with each other and playing around until the Principal appears to make his speech. We were handed a bottle of Dust before we entered for some reason though.

Juniper and Brain left after we've reached this place, leaving me in the mist of the crowd, all alone. Now I'm just looking for a nice quirky girl to talk to just to pass the time. My eyes scan the place in hopes of finding someone I know aka Summer, but sadly there's just too many people in this place for me to pinpoint her location….I wonder what would happen if I collapse this place with everyone still inside. Woah, how did I go there? Get your head together man.

With I sigh I resign myself to the fate of boredom as I patiently wait for the old geezer to show up and give his speech. Speaking of the old geezer, his name is Silver. He looked like a knocked off version of Gandalf the gay- i mean grey, wearing a business suit and holding a cane infused with Dust when I first saw him.

I really don't like him. After all, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And so, I stood among the crowd, waiting for the old man that's no doubt making us wait on purpose. With this much free time, I start to plan on what I should do in the future. As of now, I have plan A and B.

Plan A is to carefully do things and not make any ripples in the timeline so that things would still be the same when the main casts are born. It would require painstaking focus as an SI's action could cause a very very large ripple if he's not careful.

Plan B is to FUBAR everything…. Yeah, Plan B sounds nice. Lets do that instead. But if what the principal said when he was recruiting me to Beacon was true then this world has already-

"Good Morning everyone." a loud cheery voice boom across the Amphitheater. Everyone's eyes were drawn to the Gandalf ripoff on the stage with a big grin on his face. That reminds me, the other thing that I don't like about him is that he's unpredictable.

"Please apply your weapons with the dust that you were handed before entering this place. It's a special type of dust that makes your weapon 'non lethal'." he made the quote gesture as he said that. "Basically you can beat the crap out of each other with it and won't have to worry about kill each other. Useful in duels and practices too." he chuckles to himself for some reason.

"Anyway, when the bell rings I want you to beat the crap out of each other. Last one hundred remaining gets to go to the second stage of the initiation and the losers gets rejected."

See? Fucking unpredictable.

And so the students were all in a rush to apply the Dust onto their weapons so that they wouldn't accidentally maimed or killed their fellow students. It makes me wonder who was responsible for my situation in the first place. Oh, right.

"Rob, if you're listening- Oh What am I saying; of course you're listening. When I find a wish granting device of some kind in this world I swear that my first wish is for you to materialize in front of me as a male before I knee you in the balls with extreme prejudice. This I swear." I glared into the ceiling, trying to bore a hole through in and glare into the sky, knowing full well that Rob was watching with a smug look on his face while applying the Dust onto my own weapon.

Soon, I saw a figure moving into my line of sight. I found Juniper standing with her sword and shield raise at my general direction. Oh, that's Crocea Mors. I thought it belonged to Jaune's Great-Great-Grandfather.

"Wow, seeking me out already?" I asked with a playful tone. She narrowed her eyes but otherwise didn't answered. She bend forward towards me in preparation for the assault. Looks like she's determined to get rid of me for some reason.

"Feisty aren't you." I said as I face her, losing my playfulness. Hands on my side, twitching with anticipation; legs spread apart and planting my left foot forward, leaning my body forward a bit. My eyes are fully serious now and is boring into hers. We both stare at each other, not taking notice of what the other students are doing as we both make plans on taking out each other.

"No longer using your ladle?" she finally asked with a smirk.

"Alas, I no longer have it in my possession. The Satanic weapon of the damn has been returned to it's rightful owner along with a sacrifices of candies in hopes of earning her forgiveness for stealing it in the first place." I said jokingly but otherwise remain serious.

The bell rings and hell was unleashed in the Amphitheater.

AN: WHY!? Why Muse why!? This was suppose to be a 500 word short story. Why must you do this to me? If only you were this active when writing Fates Derailed.

Anyway, I started this because I was downloading Dragon Dogma and didn't feel like starting a new chapter on my other RWBY fanfic yet. And yes, just like every other fic that I've wrote. This one is also written on the fly, hence all the randomness inside.

Also I need some help in writing this. I need a summarised history of Remnant and main cast's parents and their semblance. Please tell me if you know.

Thank you for reading it anyway, hope you enjoyed it. I know I did when I was writing.

Please tell me what you want to read about in the next chapter and I'll do my best to write it out. If there's any mistakes please inform me or if there are questions then just ask away and I'll do my best to answer you (or just ignore it entirely because I have no answer for it yet).