Chapter 1

Hot wet tears stain his cheeks as I reach up and wipe it with my thumb and I can see the exhaustion in his brown eyes. I've never seen Winn this tired,this far gone, I know that with everything that has happened with his father getting out of prison and then kidnapping him,he's had a rough few days but it's hard to not see him happy,his normal upbeat self. "Shh Winn come here,may I look at your wrists and change the bandages,you haven't had them changed since the hospital"I say motioning him to come closer and he does so,albeit wearily, and he doesn't even hardly look at me, he looks down towards his lap as I gently put a hand under his chin,"shh your safe,your here with me and Alex,your ok,you don't have to be ashamed,your not him,you won't become him"I say as I gently take his right wrist in my hand and undo the bandage, "that's the thing Kara,what if I do become him,i don't want that,i want to not hide what I'm feeling,how I'm doing but with him he's made me have to do that, I'm going to be honest,I'm tired,I'm scared,I'm hurting,physically,emotionally"he says shakily wincing as I rub a little rubbing alcohol on his wrist, and then re wrap it,then I do the same with the other, "come here,look at me Winn,your not him, you share your emotions,your honest,your kind, and what he's done to you is wrong,who he is as a person is wrong,just because he's bad,doesn't mean you are,how about you go take a shower and come back and lay down ok"I say hugging him tight as I feel him relax for the first time in awhile,"yeah"he murmurs getting up and going to the bathroom.

I know he needs clothes,so I go over to his apartment,though I hate leaving him alone,and I get him a t shirt and some sweats,then an outfit for tomorrow. Then I come back,slip open the bathroom door and put the clothes on the counter and let him finish. I go out to the living room and get the couch set up for him,and by time I'm done he's out, and he comes over and lays down on the couch,clearly exhausted and in pain. "Winn can I get you anything,i have your pain medicine in the kitchen"I ask gently,"yeah,that would be good"he says tiredly. I get the tiny white pills and a glass of water over to him,and he takes the pill with a wince,he has a bruise on his throat from where his father tried to choke him,and he's still sore. I then take the glass from him and come back and motion for him to sit up and he does and I sit down and have him lay down with his head in my lap. I start to rub his temples and his forehead and he relaxes,"mm that feels good"he murmurs sleepily,"good I thought it would"i say shifting positions to where I'm laying beside him,"mm please don't go"he says weakly,"shh I'm not, i'm thinking it would be more comfortable for both of us in my bed,are you ok with that"I ask him gently,"yeah"he says letting me help him sit up. I help him get into my bedroom and help him lay down on the bed and then I go get changed and come back getting in beside him. I wrap my arms around him and he falls asleep pretty fast and I do to with thoughts about whether he'll be ok or not making my mind race.