It was with a satisfied smile and a sigh that young Harry Potter returned to the Ravenclaw common room, exhausted from the long day of studying he had. End of term finals were in under a week, as was the final Quidditch match of the year (which would be against Slytherin, who were the favorites to win the House Cup), and Harry hadn't slept in a week. Despite George's constant pressures for him to go to bed and get some sleep, he couldn't.

He just couldn't.

He couldn't stop, he couldn't take a break. He couldn't fall apart.

Not when his first-ever round of final exams were so close.

"Harry, please tell me you're actually going to go to bed for once tonight." Hermione caught up with him as he walked to his favorite little reading nook in the common room, her hands on her hips. "All of us are worried about you. Take a break! And that's an order! We're not letting you die from exhaustion!"

"Okay, mother" Harry grumbled petulantly, crossing his arms and dragging his feet as he walked upstairs to his dorm, closing the door behind him as soon as he entered.

"She's right, you know," The portrait of General Washington that was hanging from the wall above Harry's bed said with a smirk on his face, as he straightened his uniform. "You should listen to her. She is your future wife, after all."

"Shut up," Harry said snarkily to the smirking portrait, who grinned at him and gave him a thumbs up before stepping out of the frame, the canvas going black. "God, why does Washington have to be such a dad sometimes?" He groaned, plopping down onto his bed and resting his head in his hands, the stress finally taking its toll on him. "

He almost could have sworn that he heard Washington laughing.

With another groan, the Boy-who-Lived-with-Too-Many-Titles burrowed deep into the covers, falling asleep faster than you can say "non-stop".

POV Change: Albus Dumbledore

Meanwhile, while Harry was asleep, Lord Onyx was plotting to kill two Presidents of the United States with his trusted friend and ally, Headmaster Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Albus," Gellert said with a smile, as he opened his door to greet his longtime friend. "It truly is a pleasure to see you again."

"It is a pleasure to see you again as well, Gellert. Long time, no see if I do say so myself." Albus chuckled, entering the house. Grindelwald nodded, sitting down on one of the chairs that encircled the small coffee table in the living room, which had a chessboard lying on top of it as well as two mugs of coffee. Albus sat across from him, folding his hands on his lap as he stared at the pieces on the board.

"No kidding," Gellert responded, smirking, before his face grew serious once more. "I trust you called me here to discuss your plan to assassinate Presidents Bush and Piquery, no?"

"That is correct," Dumbledore affirmed, a slow grin spreading across his face. "How do you plan to do it?"

Gellert mirrored Dumbledore's grin, his eyes now having a crazed look in them. "You'll see. Look at the papers tomorrow morning."

Dumbledore cackled evilly, which was a truly terrifying sound for anyone that heard it. "Oh, now this should be fun!"

POV Change: Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall and Filius Flitwick sat across from each other in McGonagall's office, tea cups in hand, discussing a certain adoptive relative of theirs.

"I really do think Harry and his future wives are getting much closer much faster than I thought they would. Padma, Susan, Daphne, Tonks, Fleur, and Hermione will be great wives for him one day…. It's adorable how close they all are!" Minerva gushed, and Filius sighed, refilling his teacup with a smile.

"That they are." Filius nodded, a grin appearing on his face. "Who would have expected for them to grow this close this quickly?!"

Neither of them noticed Rita Skeeter on the windowsill in her animagus form, and neither of them knew she was about to hit the headline jackpot.

Tomorrow would surely be an interesting day.

POV Change: Harry Potter-Flitwick

Harry James Potter-Flitwick walked down to the Great Hall the day after McGonagall and Flitwick had their little teatime gossip session, his best friends and future wives Susan Bones and Hermione Granger at his side. As soon as he entered the Hall, he noticed everyone's eyes on him, and frowned, knowing that having the attention of the occupants of this room was rather common for him (as much as he hated it), but this time it felt… different.

Harry could see various emotions in the faces of those who were gazing at him, ranging from confusion to even envy. He also could see that most of the people looking at him held a copy of the Daily Prophet in their hands, and he made his way over to the Ravenclaw table, sitting down next to Hermione like usual.

"Why's everyone staring at me? Did some major news story that I'm not aware of break out overnight or something?" Harry asked Penelope Clearwater, who was sitting across from him. She silently handed him her copy of the Daily Prophet, gesturing for him to read it.

And so he did.

BREAKING NEWS: President Piquery Assassinated; MACUSA Authorities Baffled!

Late last night, in a shocking turn of events, it seems as if President Seraphima Piquery, president of the Magical United States of America, was assassinated by unknown means. It occurred sometime in the late evening, and for some reason the security Aurors were unable to stop anything from happening. Could a revolution be on the rise? (see page 7 for more)

Harry Potter: Shocking Marriage Contracts Discovered! Six Wives?!

In an astonishing revelation, it has recently been discovered, through the use of our sources here at the Daily Prophet, that Lord Harry Potter-Washington-Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Black, Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient Houses of Flitwick and McGonagall, is currently involved in a marriage contract with six witches, all of which come from various backgrounds. The witches included in the contract are as follows:

- Lady Hermione Jane Granger, current First Year student at Hogwarts and Heiress to Slytherin House, as well as the Newborn House of Granger.

- Lady Fleur Apolline Delacour, current third year student at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and Heiress to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Delacour

-Heiress Susan Amelia Bones, current First Year student at Hogwarts and next in line for the Ladyship of the Noble House of Bones.

-Heiress Padma Marie Patil, current First Year student at Hogwarts and next in line for the Ladyship of the Noble House of Patil.

-Heiress Nymphadora Tonks, current Fourth Year student at Hogwarts and third in line (after Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter) for the Ladyship of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

-Heiress Daphne Greengrass, current First Year student at Hogwarts and first in line for the ladyship of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Greengrass

Turn to page 9 for further reading, as well as an exclusive interview with one of the Professors at Hogwarts and Head of Gryffindor House, Minerva McGonagall! Also included: A detailed profile on each of the girls in the Harem of the Boy-Who-Lived.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK?!"

Author's Note: Hey guys! I have finally returned to the world of fanfiction after taking a major hiatus from it. I'm so sorry that this update took so long, I've been extremely busy since school let out! I had to take a summer gym class (just so I wouldn't have to put up with it during the school year) and fit in an entire year's worth of gym in a mere two weeks, so I was busy with that, not to mention my summer geometry class. (Which I'm taking for the same reason I'm taking gym, except with this class I'll be able to take calculus before I graduate high school, and that'll look good on my college transcript.) For Geometry, I've had like five hours of homework a night, since it's an entire year's worth of that class in five weeks (with three classes per week) and needless to say, I probably now know how Alexander Hamilton felt when he was writing the Federalist Papers. XD.

Anyways, I just wanted to post this, as well as a quick little guide to the House Family ranking system, like a little guide to the categories in which each house falls.

Noble and Most Ancient (This is the highest ranking possible on the House System. It includes families that have been around for multiple generations, as well as those who have done some sort of noble deed.): Washington, Potter, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Black, Greengrass, Delacour, Flitwick, McGonagall, Emrys, Le Fey, and Pendragon

Ancient (This generally includes families that have been around for at least five generations, and have gained a good amount of respect within the Wizarding Community): Ollivander, Prince, Fudge, Malfoy, Weasley, Lovegood, Lupin, Umbridge, etc.

Noble (This includes families that have earned their title by doing a noble deed of some sort, but don't qualify to be considered Noble and Most Ancient. The title of Noble house can also be awarded by the current Minister of Magic, or the Goblins of Gringotts with the approval of Leader Ragnok): Bones, Abbot, Moody, Shacklebolt, etc.

Newborn (This includes all new families that contain a muggleborn witch or wizard within their ranks. The order of heritage is determined by whom the muggleborn deems worthy to continue the family line.): Granger, Clearwater, Warren, Tonks, Creevey, Thomas, etc.

*Please note that not all the houses or ranks are listed on here. Only the ones that will play a key part in this story, or have been mentioned already, are here!*