Unbreakable Bonds

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars Clone Wars/Rebels in any way, shape or form.

This is just what I think happened shortly after that moment Ahsoka senses Vader in his TIE-Fighter in Siege of Lothal in her perspective. It's a little bit jumbled in some places, but I kind of purposely wrote it like that to give a sense of the confusion she's feeling and the shock she's recovering from.

Ahsoka sat back in her seat on the Ghost, mulling over what just transpired. She still felt numb as a result of her immense shock, staring down at her clasped hands in an attempt to silently calm herself down.

She smelled the oil of the ship, and lingering aromas from food and battle. It did nothing to soothe her nerves. If anything, it continued to heighten them. Flashbacks of the war appeared in her mind, as well as her old self. She wasn't as spunky or sassy as she was before, but perhaps that was what losing everything did to you.

Ahsoka felt herself reeling, a queasy, nauseous sensation stirring in her stomach. Her lekku stripes paled a little to reveal her oncoming sickness.

It was Anakin. Anakin was a Sith. And a powerful one, too. What happened to him and the Order after she left? All she knew was that the Order had been betrayed, and resulted in its downfall. She knew about Order 66 and that there had been a traitor, but that was it. Not many other details were provided to her, since no one really knew the traitor's identity. But to think that the traitor had been her own beloved Master, the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker...she just couldn't believe it.

He taught her everything she knew and more. It was how she could get past her cockiness and brashness, how she became so mature and wise, how she was able to fix droids here and there and pilot ships so she wouldn't get killed so easily otherwise.

Whenever she had doubts about living on her own, without the Order and without the familiarity of the Jedi, she thought back to her Master. It gave her the resolve and strength she needed to continue, because she knew he believed in her and maybe it could help her figure out her own path.

Her hands unconsciously drifted to the spot where her silka beads for her Padawan braid used to be. She used to wear it with so much pride and commitment. Now, she didn't even have it in her possession to look back on. Ahsoka shook her head, trapping her hands between her thighs and clasping them together.

The Master and Padawan were on completely opposite sides. He was a Sith, and she was a freelancing ex-Padawan aiding the rebellion against the growing power of the Empire. She was sure he sensed her soon after she sensed him; it was mostly due to their old bond as Master and Padawan. She remembered when that bond brought him to her to save her life from Cad Bane, and so many other instances. Now...now, it was a danger to her and a threat to the rebellion.

Her aged, yet still bright blue eyes remained glued to her clasped hands. They were still trembling. She thought of the war, and all of the missions she and her Master were sent on. She remembered the Battle of Christophsis, where she was first introduced to the hot-headed General.

She remembered rescuing Rotta, the Battle of Ryloth, Aurra Sing, the Blue Shadow Virus, freeing her people from the clutches of slavers, and so many other challenges that caused her to grow into the woman she was now. All with her Master by her side, guiding her. There were times when she had to face problems on her own, without him there, and even then she felt herself growing stronger. She lost her self-doubt and hesitance.

"I'm sorry Master, but...I'm not coming back."

She thought back to when she rejected the offer to return to the Council, back to Anakin. The look on his face was filled with so much confusion, hurt, disappointment, and devastation. She'd felt it through their bond in the Force, his endless questions and his intense desperation to get her to stay. It still hurt her to see it in her mind.

"Why are you doing this?"

"The council didn't trust me...so how can I trust myself?"

"What about me? I believed in you! I stood by you!"

Ahsoka flinched. It was her choice to make, yes, but what if her choice had been the wrong one? Could she have prevented Anakin from turning? Was all of this her fault?

"I understand. More than you realize...I understand wanting to walk away from the Order."

"I know."

If she'd listened to him and stayed, could she have prevented his fall? Could she have massively impacted the events to come? If she'd stayed...could it be that the Empire wouldn't be ruling over a vast majority of the galaxy as it was now? If Ahsoka had just looked back and realized how much she was walking away from, could it be that Anakin would've found someone to put all of his trust in? His own Padawan?

She didn't know why exactly he turned, but she knew it had something to do with Padme and the Order. Those two always seemed a little too close for just friends, and the Order doubted Anakin far too much than what was normal.

"Could I have...prevented all of this from happening? Is this all my fault?" She murmured aloud, feeling a wave of despair wash over her being.

The Togruta replayed the events of her life leading up to her departure from the Jedi over and over, wondering how she could've stopped all of this from occurring. She knew very well how much Anakin was tempted to just get up and leave the Order...maybe that had been the key. He'd grown up differently than other Jedi, and as such he needed a different approach on staying on the Light Side.

She felt so conflicted. How could this happen? How could someone so dedicated and caring become so cruel and cold? If the rebellion was to succeed, she knew he had to be stopped. The question was...would she be able to face him? Could she really turn her lightsabers on the person that helped her become who she was now?

Ahsoka heard the door slide open, already sensing that it was Ezra and Kanan. They couldn't know it was her former Master that was the Sith. Not yet. They weren't ready for such news, and it would only cause them to doubt her intentions.

"Ahsoka. Hera said you wanted to speak with us?"

She reigned in her overwhelming, turbulent emotions and returned to being the calm, collected former Jedi she'd become.

"Please, come in."

Ezra sat down in the chair beside her. "Are you okay?"

Her fainting had been quite a shock to everyone, herself included.

"I am, thank you," she smiled warmly, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I wanted to ask about the Sith Lord you encountered on Lothal."

"You know we've encountered an Inquisitor before, but this...was nothing like that. The fear, the anger, the hate...you felt it. I haven't sensed a presence like that since-"

"-The Clone Wars." Ahsoka interposed Kanan, glancing at him with a sad understanding.

He heaved a sigh, reluctantly meeting her gaze. "Yeah."

His tone was slightly bitter and remorseful as old memories resurfaced. The same thing happened to her. She remembered seeing so many clones die around her, all of them so different from each other yet all equally loved by her and the other Jedi, Jedi valiantly giving up their lives for others to fight another day, planets getting ravaged by the war, so many people suffering...

Ezra pressed his lips into a thin line, wanting to get away from the subject that caused his Master pain. "Ahsoka, do you know who or what he is?"

Her heart jumped a little at his question. Yes. And no. She knew who he had been once, but that person was not there anymore. She felt it: he was buried deep beneath hatred and loneliness and bitterness. Ahsoka felt tempted, for just a second, to tell them the truth. To say that he'd been her Master and he'd been one of the best in the Order, that he was prophesied as the Chosen One to bring balance to the Force.

But that all crumbled away when he turned. And it would only make this little ragtag cell of rebels feel worse about the odds.

She looked away, ashamed of so many things. "No, I don't. But I do know that he will be coming. They'll all be coming now."

"Then we've gotta be ready to fight." Ezra replied, the same fiery determination in his voice as Anakin once did.

Ahsoka saw a lot of her former Master in the boy, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. It certainly would be bad if he wasn't shown the dangers of the dark side, and how to stay resilient in the face of temptation. Ezra was still young and naive-which meant he was rather easy to manipulate if not taught quickly how to resist.

She'd have to point that out to Kanan later.

"We must find the strength to fight, but the greater courage is knowing when not to fight." Kanan pointed out, unknowingly also strengthening Ahsoka's resolve.

The door hissed open again, revealing the green-skinned twi'lek pilot Hera Syndulla, Sabine, Chopper, and Zeb.

She wouldn't mention it now, but Ahsoka knew of Cham Syndulla, Hera's father. He'd made an alliance with Master Mace Windu back during the war, and was a very inspirational leader. She'd never met him personally, but from what she heard from the others he was a rather influential individual. Hera apparently inherited his leadership and compassion-she was obviously the glue keeping them together.

"And we'll be right beside you, either way." Hera smiled, locking eyes with Kanan in a strange affectionate manner.

He smiled back, and a stare-down began between the two. She was almost positive that the two were in a romantic relationship, if not already secretly married. Even though Kanan was a Jedi, it wasn't as if the Order was around to prevent attachments. Besides, she was sure that at this point, it wouldn't matter if they were together or not; Kanan had already formed an attachment to her that wouldn't be breaking any time soon.

Ahsoka forced a smile to the crew, then turned back around to the controls where it disappeared completely from her face.

She looked up, gazing out into the vast ocean of stars, wondering what her former Master was plotting.

As much as she didn't want to believe Anakin was now a Sith, she'd sensed it herself. Perhaps she could pull him back from the Dark Side, perhaps not. But she knew one thing: his sinister plans with the Empire had to be stopped, no matter the cost.

And yet, even though she knew what she might have to do, she really wanted to hear him call her 'Snips' one last time. His presence, now recognizable in the Force even though it was extremely faint due to the distance between them, brought back so many memories, both bittersweet and painful. She missed him. She missed being his Padawan, his Snips. Ahsoka looked up to him so much, respected him...

This was going to be hard. Eventually, she would have to face him. But until then, she'd work on improving her resolve to do so without getting swayed by him or losing her conviction. Hesitation meant death against a member of the Empire.

"You're reckless, Little One. You never would've made it as Obi-Wan's Padawan...but you might make it as mine."

That bond they had the moment he said that on Christophsis was still so strong. It was strong enough to prick her eyes with warm, welling tears. But she bit those tears back. Now was not the time to cry or mourn over yet another loved one she'd lost. It was time to get to work.

She had a new family to protect now, regardless of the bond she thought broke a long time ago. Some bonds were just unbreakable, like the one between the crew of the Ghost.

Ahsoka would keep the old Anakin in her memories, and keep them close to her heart. There, she'd preserve him. It helped alleviate the pain of reality. And maybe, just maybe, he was still in there somewhere.

She was willing to wait as long as it took and see.

A/N: Sssooo...what do you think? Honestly this is my first Star Wars fanfic of any kind. The lore and facts and everything's just so massive I didn't think I could ever learn all of it and then tackle writing a fanfic for it. But I figured a one-shot wouldn't be too bad. Just my opinion on how Ahsoka's view would've looked after the incident with Anakin/Vader in his Tie-Fighter. Review, favorite, and follow!