Un-beta'd. If you find any mistakes, feel free to point them out in comments and I'll correct them.

Steve had just finished working on his Marquis – his favorite pastime while he was on leave – and was getting ready to take it for a spin. He loved that car. Not only he loved its classic feel, but it reminded him of his father, and at this moment nothing could be more special.

Steve had left Hawaii to join the Navy right after high school, and after that he hadn't had much time with the man. He'd always loved and admired his father immensely, and now he regretted the fact that he hadn't spent more time with him. Death will do this to you. It makes you regret everything you should or shouldn't have done. However, Steve wasn't one to wallow, so he tried to do the best he could with what he's got. He worked on his dad's car, thinking that in a way he was honoring his memory.

The funeral had been two days prior. His father was a cop and had died in the line of duty. Robbery gone wrong. Steve took leave from the Navy to attend the funeral and his sister, Mary-Ann, had come from wherever she was living at that moment. She'd just left to go back to wherever, and Steve was still trying to decide what to do. He felt the need to be home now, on his island. He was considering extending his leave, maybe join the reserves, but he wasn't sure. He still had some time, so he was giving himself a chance to let things settle before he made a decision. He wasn't exactly good at that, always having to be in some kind of action, but for some reason now he needed the calm. He knew it wouldn't last long, soon he'd need to find something exciting to do, but for now distracting himself working on his beloved car was enough.

Steve got inside the car and turned the key in the ignition. He listened to the engine roaring and felt its vibration fill his body. He smiled. He loved that feeling and it reminded him of all the Saturdays when he was a kid, when he'd helped his father work on the car and then his dad would take him for a drive around the city. His father was always so happy, a huge smile on his face, enjoying every moment. Steve loved seeing him like that. He'd soon started having the same reaction, because his dad's emotions were contagious, because it made Steve feel close to him. And it still did. He could feel his father sitting next to him, giving him instructions on how to drive the temperamental car when he'd become old enough to drive.

And there he was, enjoying the moment, feeling the engine, the wind on his face coming from the open window. He made a turn and allowed himself to close his eyes for one brief second... and then he heard the scream. He opened his eyes and saw a man crossing the street, walking with a cane, just about ten feet ahead of him. He slammed his foot on the brake which... wasn't working! Damn it! He hoped the man would have time to walk away, but he was moving very slowly – probably because of whatever injury he had that made him need the cane. Even when Steve swerved to the right it wasn't enough, and he hit the man with the left corner of the front bumper. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Steve got out of the car like a lightning, to find the poor guy lying on the ground. He crouched so he could talk to him, already getting his cell phone from his pocket.

"Oh, my god, are you okay?"

"No, you goof, of course I'm not okay. You just hit me with your car!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you."

"I know you didn't, you had your stupid eyes closed, asshole."

"I know, I was just... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Could you just stop apologizing and do something useful, like help me up?"

"Yeah, sure. Here."

Steve started getting up, offering the man his hand. The man took it and Steve started pulling, but the man winced and slouched back down.

"What, what's wrong?"

"My knee. I can't get up."

Steve moved to check the man's knee, but he was stopped in his tracks.

"Don't touch me! Haven't you done enough damage already?"

"I was just going to check your knee to see what happened."

"I know what happened. You probably tore my ACL again, the one that was still recovering from surgery."

"Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Would you just shut the hell up already? Being sorry isn't helping. What would help is if you used that incredible little device that's in your hand that has the marvelous ability of making phone calls and called me a damn ambulance!"

Steve looked down at the phone that he'd forgotten was in his hand.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." He dialed 911, still looking apprehensively at the man lying on the ground. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid, and now he could have seriously hurt him. At least he wasn't going too fast, the damage could've been a lot worse. "Oh, hello. Uh, I hit a man with my car and he needs assistance. Steve McGarrett. He might have torn his ACL. No, he seems fine aside from that. Yes, he's conscious. Uh, we're in front of 564, Papai Street. Thank you." Steve turned to the man again. "They should be here in a few minutes."

The man just groaned, not opening his eyes which had been closed since Steve started the call. Steve desperately tried to think of something to say.

"Uh... What's your name?"

The man opened one eye and turned to Steve. "What do you care?"

"I care. And... I'm worried about you."

The man just huffed.

"Look, despite what you might think, I didn't hit you on purpose."

"Could've fooled me."

"Are you always this nice to people?"

"Only the ones who try to kill me."

"I didn't... Look, I was just trying to make conversation, okay? You must be in pain and I was trying to distract you until the ambulance gets here."

"Don't bother." The man closed his eyes again, effectively ignoring Steve's existence.

Steve sighed. He felt so bad for what had happened, and the man wasn't letting him help at all. He wished there was something, anything he could do to make things just a little bit better for the man, but the way the man was acting it seemed like anything he could do would actually make things worse. He was lost in his thoughts of self-recrimination when he heard the sirens of the ambulance approaching. He heard the man let out a shaky breath of relief, confirming what Steve thought, that he was in terrible pain and was trying to act tough.

The ambulance turned the corner, followed right after by a police car. They were probably there to get Steve's information in case the man decided to press charges. Steve thought he should be concerned with that possibility, considering that he already had a few criminal offenses on his record – he'd been young and stupid once and not exactly prone to following the law – and that could possibly affect his status in the military. The thing is, he just couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted the man to be okay.

The paramedics started working on the man, and one of the police officers came to talk to Steve. The other one went to talk to the man, and Steve was half answering the officer's question and half paying careful attention to the conversation between the other men. He was desperately trying to get some actual information on the man he had hurt. He was able to at least catch the man's name – Danny Williams – and which hospital they were taking him to. He sighed in relief and turned his complete attention to the officer talking to him, now knowing that he could go to the hospital and keep trying to make things up to the man.

After Steve finished talking to the officer, he called for a tow truck to get his car – he couldn't drive it back home with the brakes busted. He waited about half an hour, extremely anxious, wanting to get to the hospital as soon as possible. When he finally got home, he took a quick shower, got in his truck and rushed to the hospital.

Of course, once Steve got there, no one would tell him anything since he wasn't family. He never was one to play by the rules, though, and he was nothing if not persevering. He talked to every single nurse in the reception, plus a few he could find from other floors, and when even that didn't work, he found a way to sneak into a nurse station unseen and found a chart of all the patients in the hospital. The man – uh, Danny – was in surgery and that's all he could find out. He went to the floor where the OR's were, in hopes that he could intercept Danny when he came out and find out where he was being taken. Even if that meant sneaking around and following him.

It was about three hours later when Steve saw the blond man being transported in a gurney. He quickly got up and followed the man and nurses from a distance. He watched them get inside the elevator and waited to see on which floor it would stop, hoping that it wasn't for someone else to get in. When he saw it stopping on the seventh floor, he rushed the five floors up the stairs, hoping that they would still be in view when he got there.

Thanks to his SEAL training and his very long legs, he got there in no time, having taken three steps at a time, barely panting. He saw the gurney turning around a corner and followed, watching them get into a room. He waited until the coast was clear and went to the room, rushing inside so no one would see him. Danny was still out of it, but otherwise he seemed fine. No tubes or any other concern-inducing machines surrounding him, just the IV. Steve sat on the chair close to the bed and prepared himself to wait some more.

About an hour later, the man started to stir. Steve straightened up, anxious to see how Danny was doing. He slowly started to open his eyes.

"Hey," Steve said softly.

Danny turned to look at him, staring for a while, apparently waiting for his vision to clear. When it did, his expression of confusion quickly change to one of anger.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" The man's tone was filled with unrestrained rage, even if his voice was still rough from sleep.

"I just... I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm great. Now leave."

Steve didn't move an inch.

"What, are you deaf? I said leave!"

"I noticed no one came to see you. Not the whole time you were in surgery, or since you came to the room."

"I wouldn't expect anyone to. Now get the fuck out."

Steve looked down, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. He spoke quietly. "I don't want to leave you alone."

"You're kidding me, right? What makes you think I'd want your company?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know, I just... I feel bad, and I want to make it up to you somehow."

"You want to make it up to me? Leave me the hell alone. I don't ever want to see you again."

Steve briefly wondered why that comment had hurt. He didn't know what he'd been expecting. Of course Danny wouldn't want to see him. He just... he was concerned. He wanted to make sure the other man would be okay. He didn't stop to think that maybe he was just a little over-concerned considering this was a complete stranger. He didn't want to leave, but the man was making it clear that his presence was just making it worse, so he figured he'd just have to let it go. He started to get up, upset, but not seeing an option.

"Wait." The man raised a hand to stop Steve's movements. "You said no one came the whole time I was in surgery and in the room? That means you were here the whole time?"

The unrestrained rage in the man's voice got even harsher and darker. Steve wondered where the man was finding so much energy after all he'd been through. Maybe wanting to talk to the man had been a mistake. Steve couldn't help but think that he didn't regret that he'd at least tried.

"Well, yeah... I was waiting for you to wake up so I could talk to you."

"So you were watching me sleep?" The amount of indignation in Danny's voice was impressive. "Me, a complete stranger, whom you ran over earlier today, by the way."

Oops. He hadn't thought of that. Maybe starting to regret it a little bit.

"Do you have any idea how incredibly creepy that is?"

"Uh, well, to be honest, I hadn't really stopped to think about it."

"I've talked to you for all of fifteen minutes and I can already tell that that's a regular occurrence with you."

"You know, I'm starting to think that all this rudeness is completely uncalled for." Good. When you realize you've made an even bigger mistake, start antagonizing the other person to deviate their attention. That was always a nice plan.

"You ran me over." The man emphasized every word.

"It was an accident, and I apologized. You, however, are actively choosing to be rude."

"Give me one good reason why I should be nice to you."

"Because I'm being nice to you. I stayed over to make sure you were okay. Something that apparently no one else you know bothered to do."

"As we've established, that was not nice, that was creepy. And what's it to you if people come to visit me or not?"

"You know what? I don't care. If you're like this all the time, I can completely empathize with no one visiting."

"Yet, here you are when I've asked you repeatedly to leave."

"Well, I'm leaving. Enjoy your lonely stay."

"Thank you. I will."

Steve was almost at the door when the other man called.

"Wait, were you trying to be nice to me to try to convince me not to press charges? Because I gotta tell you, there's no way that would ever work."

"What?" Steve turned sharply to look at the man. "No! I was genuinely concerned, but I can understand how it would be hard for you to grasp the sentiment. Which I now realize was completely misguided." Steve was getting angry now.

"Good. Because I fully intend to do it."

"So you've said."

"I thought you were leaving."

"I am."

xXxXx

Steve got back home and he was pissed. All he'd wanted to do was help, try to somehow make it up to the man, but he wasn't having it. Who did he think he was anyway? Who doesn't accept an apology? It's not like Steve had done any of that on purpose. There was a small part of Steve's brain that was trying to tell him that Danny had every right to be angry at him. After all, Steve had made him go back into surgery and that couldn't have been pleasant. Steve didn't even know how far along the other man had been in his recovery from the other surgery and how much he'd been set back now. He chose to ignore the part that was telling him all that, because it was wrong and stupid – he ignored the part that said that thinking like this was childish, too. Danny had been rude when Steve had been nothing but nice. And you know what? Screw him. If the man didn't want to accept his apology, there was nothing Steve could do. Let him press his charges, let him be angry and bitter and suffer through a long and lonely recovery. He probably deserved it. The part of Steve's brain that was telling him that he didn't actually believe any of that and he was in fact still very worried about the other man was a little louder this time. Steve ignored it and went to bed.

Steve woke up the next day after having a great night's sleep. That is, of course, if he ignored the whole time he'd spent awake worrying about the man alone in the hospital, and the part when he finally fell asleep and dreamed about Danny all covered in blood after being run over by him. No, it was fine. Everything was fine. He'd go about his day as usual and forget all about the man who as still in the hospital because of him. Because he'd been an irresponsible jerk who'd hurt the man for no reason other than being an irresponsible jerk.

He should be used to that, seeing people get hurt. God knows he'd seen a lot worse. But there was always a reason for that. They were fighting for something. The poor man had just been crossing the street. And okay, the man hadn't been seriously hurt and he'd be fine in the end – oh, god, please let him be okay. What if the damage to his knee was permanent now? - but he knew pain, he knew what recovery from any injury was like and the man would go through all that again because of him. Stop it, Steve. Accidents happen and there's nothing you can do about it. The man doesn't want you there, there's nothing you can do to help. Just let it go.

So he went back to working on his car. He had to fix the brake and the dent on the front bumper.

The busted brake that had caused the accident.

The dented bumper that proved that he'd hurt someone. An innocent someone.

He tried very hard to push all those thoughts aside and went to work. He'd been trained to focus under the most stressful situations and this was nothing compared to everything he'd been through. So he'd work, and he'd forget, and he'd move on.

Except he couldn't. He couldn't stop thinking about Danny one single second. God dammit, what was it about him? Why did Steve care so much? Didn't matter. Steve knew he wouldn't get anything done anyway, so he might as well just try again. So he'd shower, get dressed, grab a few malasadas to try and sweeten Mr. Grumpitty Grump and he'd head off to the hospital.

xXxXx

"Please tell me the nurses are giving me too much pain medication and I'm hallucinating and you're not actually here."

Steve smiled. He didn't want to admit it, but he was starting to enjoy the man's brash attitude.

"Here, I brought you gifts."

Steve dropped the bag on the table beside the bed. He couldn't help but notice the other man's eyes following his movements, and he was sure that he was seeing piqued interest in Danny's eyes, even though he knew the other man was trying very hard to hide it. Steve waited a while, wanting to see how long the man would wait before he asked. The other man's eyes went from the bag to Steve and then back to the bag, but then he put on an obviously fake nonchalant expression.

"Okay, gift delivered. You can leave now."

Steve sat comfortably down on the chair next to the bed, signaling that he had no intention whatsoever of leaving.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Steve tried to sound casual, but he was having difficulty suppressing a smile. He was enjoying watching the other man struggle.

The other man looked surreptitiously back to the bag – at least Steve thought he was trying to be surreptitious, it was actually pretty obvious to him – and bit his lip. Danny seemed to catch himself and quickly composed his nonchalant expression again.

"Considering it came from you, I'm pretty sure I don't care," Danny said with what seemed to be a lot of effort.

"Are you sure? I'd think that you'd appreciate a retrieve from the hospital food."

The other man's eyes widened a little and he glanced at the bag again. He still didn't budge and kept his air of disinterest, though. God, this man was stubborn.

Steve stared at the man for a while, then reached for the bag. "Fine. Maybe you just don't like malasadas. I can give them to a nurse or something."

Steve watched the man jump towards the bag and quickly hold himself back. Steve suppressed another smile. This was so much fun he almost felt bad. Almost. Steve dangled the bag in front of the other man. "Unless you've changed your mind?"

Steve kept his stare on the other man, provoking and barely containing how much he was enjoying himself. He saw the other man glare at him, but he also could have sworn he'd licked his lips while doing it.

"Maybe I'll just leave these here." Steve placed the bag back on the table and he could see the man perk up. But Steve sat back down on the chair and the other man sagged. Steve could see the struggle going on behind Danny's eyes, as if he was conflicted between asking Steve to leave and losing the treat or caving and losing face.

After what seemed like forever, Danny sighed and reached for the bag. This time Steve didn't hide a smirk.

Danny started eating his malasadas as if he hadn't eaten in days. It seemed as if he'd forgotten Steve was there, but a while later he turned back to him.

"Don't you have anything better to do then watch me stuff my face with pastries?"

"Not really, no." Steve smiled.

"Other people to run over, maybe?"

"Haha, very funny."

"What, you unemployed or something? It'd make sense, actually, considering you were driving that piece of junk."

"First of all, that car is a classic. And I'd take serious offense to that comment if I didn't think that I'm still on your bad side – deserving it, I should add."

"I'm glad you know that," the other man replied, keeping his stare on Steve, clearly still waiting for an answer. Steve considered teasing the man for being interested in him, but he was very pleased that Danny was showing a tiny bit of interest, so he bit his tongue. That didn't mean he was exactly ready to be forthcoming about the reason he had all this free time.

"No, I'm not unemployed," Steve said after some time, hoping he could leave it at that.

"Vacation, then? 'Cause I gotta tell you, being here seems like an awful waste of time. Unless you really don't have anywhere better to be, and if that's the case, then this is just real sad. And kind of pathetic."

"No visitors, yet?" Steve tried deflecting, hoping the man would forget his question.

"No, and as I've told you – not that I should have – I wouldn't expect any."

"And that's not sad? Or pathetic?"

"It might be if it meant that there's no one who cares enough to be here. Given that is not the case, then no, it's neither."

"So why isn't anyone here, if they care so much about you?"

The man looked at Steve, as if considering options. "I'll tell you if you tell me why you're here."

Steve was a little stunned for a while, not expecting that question. He still wasn't too happy about the idea of talking about what happened, but at the same time he didn't want to miss this opportunity to get to know the other man better. Maybe he could just say a little bit, and the man would be satisfied.

"I'm on leave from the Navy."

"So it is a vacation. And we're back to you being sad and pathetic."

Steve sighed. He should've known he wouldn't get away that easy.

"A bereavement leave."

The man looked genuinely contrite. Steve was surprised to see that expression on his face. He didn't think the man was capable of any kind of empathy.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Danny looked sheepish and embarrassed. "I didn't... I shouldn't have pushed."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

A very uncomfortable silence settled around them, and Steve started wondering if he shouldn't have left well enough alone and just let the man be.

"I'm from New Jersey." The other man finally broke the silence. "My family is all there, and I thought it was silly for any of them to make the trip all the way here just to see me when I'm perfectly fine. My mom wouldn't have it, she was practically buying the plane ticket, but I managed to convince her. With my dad's help. And my brother's. And my sisters'. I promised I'd go over there as soon as I recovered, so she agreed."

"Why did you move here?"

"My daughter. I'm recently divorced, and my lovely ex-wife decided to move here to be with her wonderful new husband. I didn't see much of a choice, as being away from my little girl would never be an option for me. And before you ask why she isn't here, my aforementioned ex-wife is traveling with her, visiting her family in England. She didn't think it would be worth it to come here just so my daughter could visit me. I wasn't particularly happy about that, but she said I could have extra time with my daughter when they get back, so I figured I won in the end. I'd rather be with her when I can actually be with her."

"How long have you been here?"

"Six months. And to answer your next question, no I haven't made many friends. People at work don't really like me – aside from my partner – and I haven't been out much. I'm just focused on my daughter, the reason I'm on this godforsaken, pineapple infested hell-hole. She's what makes it all worth it, and I'm not really worrying about anything else."

"Why don't people like you at work?"

"Uh, for some reason I still don't understand, law enforcement here aren't particularly fond of ha'oles, as they love to call me every chance they get."

"You a cop?"

"Detective."

"And what about-"

"My partner is on the mainland, following up on a case. We're friends, and he tends to be very nice to me, but we're not that close. I'd never expect him to cut his trip short to come see me. Not that he didn't offer, but I know he was just being polite. I let him off the hook."

Steve was very impressed at how the man knew every question his was going to ask. Even more impressed that he'd actually told him that much about himself. He very much appreciated it.

"So, no, I don't think it's sad or pathetic that no one is here. I have enough people that matter in my life and they're not here for very good reasons. Mostly because I told them not to come." Danny breathed deeply. It was amazing how much he was able to say in what seemed like one breath. "Now, I hope I sort of made it up to you for being pushy... and kind of a jerk."

"I told you it was okay. There was really no reason for me to be so secretive about it. But you have been a lot of a jerk, since the moment I met you, but I'll let it slide, because I know you're in pain." Steve smiled. "Although I suspect that's normal behavior for you, but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Who's being a jerk now?" the other man said, but there was no bite this time, he just smiled, surprising Steve. He didn't expect to be able to get Danny to finally relax, as much as he wanted to. He was also surprised by the warm feeling inside of him that smile had brought.

"Anyway," Steve sighed, completely clueless as to why he'd decided that he wanted to open up to this man after all. "My father passed away about a week ago. He was a cop, it was a robbery gone wrong. He was just shopping, but the guy saw the badge and freaked out."

"Oh, my God. John McGarrett. Your father is John McGarrett."

"That's right." Steve already expected Danny to make the connection.

"He was very loved in the force. His death hit a lot of people pretty hard. Seemed like a nice man, too. He was pretty much the only one who bothered to greet me when we passed each other in hallways. Even knew me by name."

Steve smiled, a sad, wistful smile. He knew what a great man his dad was, and that just made him feel worse about not having spent more time with him. Well, nothing he could do about it now. "So, that's why I'm here. I asked for an extension of my leave. Felt the need to be home for a while. I'll probably go back soon, but for now there's not much to do aside from working on my dad's car. And visiting people I run over." Steve joked.

Danny smiled again at that. Then he looked slightly shocked all of a sudden, as if something had just occurred to him. "God, it's your dad's car. I really am a jerk."

Steve laughed softly. "It's okay. You really should feel worse about everything else you said to me, not that. That was an honest mistake, but you definitely don't know how to accept an apology."

"Hey, it's not like you were apologizing for stepping on my toe. I think I'm entitled to make you earn it."

"Yeah, sure." Steve laughed again.

They sat in silence, but it was a lot less uncomfortable now. Steve was glad he'd been able to talk to the man. He'd been enjoying teasing him before, but he found out that he enjoyed his company as well. He wasn't particularly surprised that more than an hour had passed.

"Hey, you never told me your name." Steve asked, only now realizing that they'd never properly introduced themselves.

"It's Danny. Danny Williams."

"Steve McGarrett." Steve offered his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Danny."

Danny looked at Steve's hand with some suspicion, but he accepted it and they shook. "It's nice to meet you, too, although I'd much prefer if it'd happened under different circumstances."

"I have to agree." Steve let go of Danny's hand, smile never leaving his face. "So," he added a short while later. "Have I? Earned your forgiveness?"

"Hm, I don't know. Maybe keep bringing me malasadas and we can talk." There was a small glint in Danny's eyes, and Steve counted this day as a huge win.

xXxXx

Steve kept coming back to visit Danny every day for the rest of his stay at the hospital. He'd stay for hours and they would talk about pretty much anything. No, strike that, they'd banter. Apparently they were incapable of having a normal conversation without trying to rile the other up. On top of that, Danny seemed to be a huge fan of rants, and almost anything could set him off and he would lecture for what seemed like hours, in a never-ending supply of arguments, complaints and what he judged to be the only possible correct opinions on any given subject. Steve often asked himself if he shouldn't be terribly annoyed by this man by now and if he should have already been gone on his merry way, now that Danny seemed to have finally accepted his apology.

The thing was, Steve was enjoying himself immensely. He never thought it could be possible, given the circumstances that had brought him home, but whenever he was with Danny, he found himself feeling excited, livened up... happy. He hadn't felt like that in so long, he barely knew what to do with it. He still felt bad about the way he'd met Danny, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel blessed. He'd given up on so much, the Navy leaving him hollow and jaded. He was still proud of the work he did for his country, but he knew he paid a high price. And he'd thought some things were over for him, for good. He thought he wouldn't ever soften again. He'd been such a sweet kid, everybody always told him that, but there was no place for that in the Navy. If he were to allow his sensitivity to show, he'd make mistakes and get himself killed, or worse, someone on his team.

But Danny... Danny was just this wonderful person, a beautiful mix of strength and tenderness. Steve had heard many stories of so many things he'd been through working in the force, how he'd always been the source of support for his family, the one everyone counted on. But then he'd talk about his daughter, Grace, and his whole demeanor changed. His voice would go soft, he'd get this glimmer, this fondness in his eyes. Steve had also heard many stories where Danny had showed how incredibly kind he was. How he'd always put the people he loved above himself, no matter what. How he took care of everyone, never because he felt obligated to, but because there just was no other option for him, he wouldn't even consider any other possibility. The most amazing thing was, Steve was sure that Danny had no idea that he was showing all that. He was so humble, he was just innocently telling Steve random stories about random things, but all those beautiful qualities kept shining through, as if they were so intrinsic to his person that he wouldn't be able to hide them even if he wanted to.

All of that was slowly changing Steve. It seemed impossible that this could happen in so little time, but Steve found himself feeling again... caring again. Not being so scared of all his emotions, of showing what he'd learned to consider as weaknesses. He found himself talking about the memories of his father, the death of his mother, when he'd been so young, just a teenager, how he'd felt cheated that something so stupid, a drunk driver, could have taken someone so important from him. He talked about how much he missed his sister, how he loved her even if she was a total mess most of the time.

Problem was, every day when Steve got home in the evening, he remembered that the time he spent with Danny in the hospital wasn't his real life. That he'd have to go back to the service sooner or later, and that everything he was exposing would have to be hidden again. And every day he felt worse about it. How much he'd be losing if he just forgot this huge part of who he was again. He didn't want to lose that. He'd already lost so much in his life, practically everything, if he were honest, now he couldn't bear the thought of losing himself again. Moreover, if he were honest again, he couldn't bear the thought of losing Danny and everything he'd come to mean to him. He spent night after night thinking about all of it, and it didn't take long for him to realize – even if it'd come as quite a shock – that being a SEAL wasn't enough anymore. Not that he could ever not be a SEAL, it's just that he wanted more. He wanted to find a way to be both. To still be the fighter, trained to endure any kind of situation and deal with any kind of problem, execute every op requested of him – because he could never lose that, that was how he was useful, that was how he served, how he was helpful – but also be himself, someone who could feel, enjoy simple things, basically... live. Because SEALs survived, but they forwent living to guarantee that others could do it. There was a part of him that wondered if it was selfish, to want that for himself, but spending all that time with Danny, watching how he led his own life, with so much honesty and openness, made him think that maybe he deserved some of that honesty, too. And honestly, he wanted to be happy. It was about time.

xXxXx

"I'm going into the reserves."

It was two days later, and Steve had finally made his decision. He just blurted this out, coming out of nowhere, because he just had to tell Danny and see what he thought. When had Danny's opinion become so important to him? It was a stupid question. It'd been about five minutes after he met him. That's just how special Danny was.

Danny had been dozing off, but as soon as Steve uttered those words, his eyes sprung open and he turned sharply to look at Steve. "What?"

"I've just been thinking about it, you know? Ever since my dad died, I felt this need to be here. I didn't really question it, but I should have realized that it meant something had changed. I was never one to stay quiet for too long, but suddenly... it was if I was finally allowing myself to have some time off. I thought I'd want to go back soon, need to go back, but it just... hasn't happened."

"But... Are you sure? Maybe you just need more time."

"I've thought of that, but... I can't stop thinking about it, and nothing's changing. It's just... the life I had doesn't seem like enough anymore." Steve stopped and considered how much he actually wanted to tell Danny. How much he could tell him. As it had been almost from the beginning, he found that there wasn't really a choice. "You've changed me, Danny. I had forgotten so much about myself, but you... you brought it all back. I don't want to lose it all again. I mean, I know it's only been a week, and it probably sounds really stupid but... you've made me better. And I... I just need more now."

Danny stared at him, looking dumbfounded, speechless. Steve didn't think it was possible. He worried for a second, wondering if maybe he shouldn't have been so open. But then again, that was the whole point, wasn't it? To allow himself to do stuff like that. He decided to just carry on talking and hoped that Danny would find his voice back soon.

"One thing that was bothering me, though, is that I didn't want to let go of who I was either. Being in the Navy meant so much to me, it's such a huge part of who I am, I don't think I'd be able to leave it all behind. I was kind of struggling to find a middle ground and then..."

Danny was still quiet, but at least he was responsive again, and he looked at Steve with an expression that clearly said that he wanted him to keep going.

"I got a call from the governor. She wants to create this task-force, to deal with special cases with full immunity and means – her words. She asked me to run it. It kinda seemed like the perfect alternative. My training would still be useful, but I'd be out of that whole no-room-for-feelings military stuff. I could actually have a life."

"Wow," Danny finally spoke, to Steve's great relief. "That sounds great, babe. I mean, I had no idea all this was going on in your head, but this sounds like a good solution. Although I have to say it worries me to think what kind of mayhem you'd manage to create with this whole full-immunity-and-means thing." Danny teased. "Seriously, though, I'm happy for you. "

"Good. Because I want you to come with me."

"What?" The stunned look was back on Danny's face, and it seemed like he'd mostly lost his voice again.

"I want you to be my partner." Steve tried to sound confident, even if he was terrified that Danny would say no. He just kept going before Danny had a chance to reply. "Think about it, it'd be perfect. You'd be doing something you're great at, but with a lot more power and leeway. Plus, you'd be around people who actually like you." Steve gave Danny his most charming smile, trying his best to convince him.

"Somehow I feel like that last part was more insulting than flattering."

"I'm serious, Danny. I don't think I can do this without you. I need you with me, to keep me grounded, to keep me open. I need you to make sure I don't create too much mayhem." Steve winked, trying to lighten what he was saying, but he knew that if Danny looked carefully he'd be able to see what Steve really meant in his eyes. That he didn't need Danny to do anything, he just needed Danny, period.

"Steve, we'd drive each other nuts. We'd fight about everything." Danny was protesting, but Steve thought he could hear something in his voice, something that told him that Danny had half agreed already. That Danny had seen it, and that maybe he felt the same.

"No, we wouldn't. We'd be great together." Steve's voice had gone soft, because that's what Danny did to him. He made him caring, he made him gentle. Steve loved it. "And you know it."

Danny looked like he wanted to protest some more, but eventually deflated. He just shook his head, looking at Steve with fond exasperation. "Fine. But you better keep bringing me malasadas in the morning."

Steve laughed with relief. "Will do."