I in no way own any part of Harry Potter, or any characters. They and it belong only to J.K. Rowling the amazing write that she is.

We've all read the Harry and Cedric bathroom, with the egg, stories. This is my take on that version and what happened in the Perfect's bathroom. Wrote it in hopes that I can make a few people laugh.

Harry sat on the edge of the bath in the dim empty Perfect's bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had his feet dangling over into the water that he had just filled the tub with moments ago. In his hands was the golden egg that Cedric had told him to bring when he informed him of this bathroom and the password. He was completely confused as to why Cedric told him to come here with the egg, he had already tried everything to open the thing, including submerging it underwater.

The stupid egg was really frustrating him, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what to do. So when Cedric stop to give him the hint about taking a bath he was really hoping he would be here to give some more clues.

All of sudden Harry heard the door creak open and he stood instantly and picked his wand up and pointed it at the intruder. Cedric stepped in the bathroom and gave a small nervous chuckle.

"It's just me Harry; sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh, hey sorry Cedric," Harry said while lowering his wand. "Force of habit, you know?"

Harry sat down while Cedric move towards the changing bench and started undressing. When Harry noticed what Cedric was doing he averted his eyes. When Cedric finished he wrapped a towel around his waist and sat down by Harry.

"So did you figure out the egg yet?" Cedric asked while sitting a little closer to Harry then what was probably kosher.

Harry brows burrowed in confusion and frustration. "No I've tried everything even submerging it."

"Everything huh? Somehow I've doubt that." Cedric said with a chuckle.

Harry looked over at Cedric with his lips pursed into hard thin lines. Wow he is beautiful, thought Cedric.

"I think I finally understand why they put such an emphasis on age."

"Because, they are trying to kill us by sending us to face dangerous creatures like dragons?" Harry asked with a voice full of sarcasm.

Cedric let out a deep loud laugh. "No, because of what were are required to do to open this clue. You have to have sex near it Harry."

Harry sputtered. "What?! Are you serious?"

"Yes." Cedric said with a nod. This was way too easy. Cedric had been hoping to have some alone time with Harry Potter all year. Everything he had tried so far hadn't worked, so when this clue came along and he found out what needed to be done, he knew it was a perfect opportunity to have his way with Harry's beautiful body. He wasn't interested in a relationship with Harry per se, but he was most defiantly interested in having some relations with him.

"That's why I came here to help you out, I thought it would be better for you to have someone that was already experienced in this area, and that wouldn't think it means anything will happen between us in the future."

"So you're fine with just having sex with someone, and then going on about your business after like nothing happened?"

"Well yeah, I mean surely you've heard of the going-ons in Hufflepuff, our common room orgies are aren't exactly a secret around Hogwarts."

"Common room orgies, huh I've actually never heard that." Harry grabbed his towel with one hand and bunched it tighter around his waist while picking up his egg with other hand. "Well if you'll excuse me, my egg and I need to go see Fred and George."

"The Weasley twins?" Cedric asked voice full of shock. "You're going to lose your virginity to those two, at the same time, don't you think that's a little, I don't know to advanced for your first time?"

"Wait, you think I'm a virgin?" Harry asked while shoving his jeans on in a hurry, now that he knew how to open the egg he was in a hurry to get to work.

"Well yeah I mean you're still young, and you've never dated anyone."

"Hmm," was all Harry said while he finished throwing on his clothes.

"I thought everyone was aware of my less than virginal status when I was caught in a comprising position in a wardrobe with the twins last year." He said as he was making his way to the door and throwing an invisibility cloak over himself and disappearing out of Cedric's view.

"I hadn't heard that." Cedric said.

"Looks like both of us need to start paying more attention to the rumor mill." With that said he hastily left the bathroom, and Cedric only knew he was gone by the sound of his footsteps getting farther away.

That did not go according to plan, who would have thought he wasn't a virgin. With the Weasley demons of all people, who knew they were interested in anyone other than each other. Well I might as well make it down to the dorms, doesn't look like I'll be getting any tonight. Maybe I just need to do a bit more recon on the Harry, get to know him a bit, and then try this again.

…...

The next morning Cedric made his way to the great hall still in a bit of a confused fog about last night's events, or really non events. Cedric wasn't exactly use to being turned down, and it was a new feeling to him. He sat down at the Hufflepuff table and grabbed a plate, and started to fill it up with his choice of breakfast foods. When he sat down his plate of bacon and waffles he was shocked to see eight golden eggs appear above it. There were three eggs at the top, and then five below. Just when he lifted his hand to reach for one of the eggs they exploded and huge globs of glitter paint flew at him. Everyone in the great hall was laughing at the rainbow glitter mess that was Cedric. He was covered in the junk and when he wiped it off his eyes he saw that they eggs left behind a message after they exploded.

HES

TAKEN

It didn't take long for Cedric to realize who the message was from, and he looked over the at the Gryffindor table in hopes of seeing the twins, but only saw Harry who had a trademark Weasley twin malicious smirk on his face and waved. His relationship with them makes more sense now, he's just like them.

Cedric walked out of hall leaving the sounds of everyone's laughter behind him. When he walked out the doors he ran smack dab into the demons. They had their arms crossed and a look of anger that Cedric had never seen on their constant laughing faces.

"I don't suppose we have to"
"tell you that if you ever"
"try that again, the consequences"
"won't be as pleasant as"
"they were this time."

"Yes I get it, he's taken. It won't happen again I didn't know alright." Cedric said in an attempt to pacify the angry twins in front of him.

"Good." Harry said as he walked up to group of three and squeezed his way in between his two angry boyfriends. George wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, while Fred threw his arm over Harry's shoulder.

"Just remember that you"
"Hufflepuffs might be all about"
"casual sex, but we Gryffindors"
"we play for keeps." Fred and George called out.

Cedric had replied with a nod, but the twins were too busy leading Harry down the hallway, presumably to find another wardrobe to practice some more compromising positions to notice.