The characters don't belong to me. Please let me know what you think and whether I should continue this. Have fun:)

Scully couldn't sleep that night. The case had brought up all the memories about how she had had to give up their son for adoption.

What if...?

What if she had somehow managed to protect him? What if she had raised him with his father?

What if they had led a happy life?

She and Mulder would probably still be together, maybe even married? Maybe she would be happy.

Right now she was so far away from happy that it hurt. Her chest felt like it was pressed into a corset and her hands were cold as ice. It was all her fault.

Not a day had gone by since she had said goodby to William that she hadn't doubted her decision.

She turned around under the covers and looked to the window. It was late already and she should at least try to get some sleep before her surgery the next day, but her mind wouldn't let her rest.

The pregnant women and those children... All of it had remembered her of her son. Was he ok? Had he developed any strange features or did he get to live the normal life she had wanted him to.

She couldn't stand the thoughts anymore and got up. Scully didn't drink on a regular basis but she couldn't help herself on days like that where it all got too much for her to handle on her own. She poured herself a glass of wine and downed it in one big sip.

She grabbed her coat, threw some clothes and her toothbrush into a bag, put on her shoes and got her car keys.

Scully knocked on the door of his apartment, not really having thought about what she was going to do next, but with Mulder that never seemed to be a problem for her.

After a few seconds she could hear his steps slowly approaching the door. "Who's this?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Mulder, it's me." she answered and he promptly opened the door.

"Scully!" he replied surprised. She could see, though, that his eyes weren't as shiny as normal.

He, too, looked beaten and tired.

They just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity but then he eventually stepped aside and let her in.

"So what do you need?" he asked her when she had gotten rid of her shoes.

"You" she whispered, barely audible.

"I need my touchstone."

She felt so alone and small standing there in front of him but when she looked up to him she saw that his features had softened and his eyes were full of love.

"And I need mine." he said and hugged her tightly. She breathed in his familiar scent and closed her eyes as they melted together. He had buried his head in her shoulder and as usual his hands were against her back, underneath her coat.

They stood like that forever just enjoying the comforting effect they had on each other. They didn't need words to communicate. They never had. They were like yin and yang, completing each other. And that unity was what made them feel alive.

But the moment passed and Mulder's hands shifted to her arms. He let them drift down and intervened their fingers.

"Sleep?" he asked and she nodded.

"Maybe it works this way."

They walked to the bedroom and when Scully lay down Mulder joined her, spooning her from behind, just like they had done it so many times before. It was all good now, as far as it could be at least. "Scully, he's fine." he whispered in her ear. She could hear the slight hint of a question mark at the end and breathed "Yeah...", not sure herself either.

He kissed her neck and finally they were able to calm their thoughts and fall asleep.