i know thia ia really shorr but I have had a lot going on lately sorry guys

I woke up to the sound of someone getting sick down the hall. I did not have to get out of bed for me to know it was. Callie she has been like this since her first chemo appointment. I wish I could trade places with her I cant handle seeing her like this.

crawling out of bed I made my way down the hall walking in the bathroom i was greeted by Callie who was on the floor leaning over the toilet crying and getting sick. I grabbed a towel off of the top of the cupboard and sat down next to her holding her hair back and rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry mom" she said as she took the towel from me wiping her mouth off.

"Why are you sorry baby?"

She finished wiping her face off and looked at me. I could see the pain and fear in her eyes.

"For waking you" she said almost so quiet I almost did not catch what she said to me. I leaned over kissing her forehead and she laid her head on my chest and I just sat there with her holding her.

"Callie you don't ever have to be sorry for waking me. I don't care if its 3 in the morning if you need me or mama come and get us. That is what we are here for my love, to take care of you. And you're brothers and sister."

"Please don't leave me mommy?"

I felt my heart melt.

"I'm not going anywhere baby. I'm not going anywhere."

"Can i go lay with you and mama?"

I looked down at her and smiled. It was rare for my daughter to be so straight forward like this. She always has her walls up so high nobody can get through and help her...or just simply be there for her. I guess that's one of the many things that makes us so much alike as lena would say

"Yes my love. Yes you can"

she moved and I stood up and helped Callie up she is loosing her strength more and more everyday. Wrapping my arm around her waist to steady her as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and I helped her back to my room. She sat on the edge of the bed and i went to her room grabbing her some clean pajamas out of her dresser I brought them back and gave them to her.

"Mom. Can you help me?"

I nodded my head yes and helped her lift her shirt over her head. I saw the bruise on her ribcage that looks worse then it was the day she showed it to me and lena. I gently helped her get her other shirt on and she looked at me.

"Mom I really am sorry for putting you through this. For putting all of you through this."

"Hey why don't me and you crawl into bed okay?. We can talk more."

Nodding her head at me she crawled into the center of our bed and laid on her side. I followed after I shut the light out. We both laid on our sides looking at each other

"Hey cal?" I said barely above a whisper so i would not take a chance on waking up lena.

"yeah?"

"Listen. I don't want you to be sorry for putting us through this okay?. You are our daughter. Honey if I could take all of this pain away from you I would. I would take it on myself if it were possible. Callie you are my baby girl and you being sick is not going to change that. I promise you I will be here by you're side through it all." I told her just above a whisper

"I just hurt all the time mom. I cant even eat anything" she said looking at me "I just want to be okay again mommy"

'I know my baby. I want that to."

I watched as she closed her eyes and I brushed a lock of her curly hair behind her ear and she opened her eyes and groans

"What is it my love?"

"I hurt"

"Come here" I said as I stretched my arm out and she made herself comfortable on my chest and I just held her and kissed her temple "we are going to get through this" I said as I closed my eyes. *I promise*