Thank you for sticking with me during my hiatus. I really needed to step away from this story for a little while, and sort of collect myself again.

I will be finishing the season, adding a few chapters that are of my own creation; but sticking very closely to the original storyline. I have started writing season 3, but that will diverge extensively. I mention this, because this story will be connected, so if you notice differences to the original storyline, that's why!

This is a slightly shorter chapter then usual, but I wanted to get back in to the swing of things, and thought it was better to post then postpone!

Let me know if you're still there, I know it's been a while since I've posted, so I hope I haven't lost to many readers interest!

XO

They walked in silence across the dark expanse of the woods. The steady rain thoroughly soaked Lexa despite the canopy cover, making the trek that much heavier and cold. She could feel the heat of Clark's body next to her, her awkward gait causing her to bump into Lexa whenever she stepped over the uneven ground. Lexa's fingers itched to reach out and take the blondes hand in her own, to comfort her from the devastation they all just experienced; but she kept them balled at her side, not wanting to break decorum for either of them. After all, they needed to focus on what was important, their ultimate mission at hand.

She had an army to lead, a war to win, and people to free.

Anything else right now was frivolous. A distraction. There will be time for more, later, she promised herself, chancing another side longed glance in Clark's direction. Looking around, Lexa realized that they were both a fair distance from the rest of the group, many having fallen behind to aid the wounded. Still, the nagging feeling of needing to offer some kind of respite to Clark hung thick in the air between them, she wanted to offer some kind of resolution to what had happened today, something to give meaning and understanding to the blond next to her.

Perhaps, she reasoned, she needed it for herself as well. It's not like this was the first devastating blow that her people had experienced. It was not the worst, but it was certainly the largest that had happened since she became the Commander. The mountain had been decimating warriors for generations, that was nothing new; and the war with the Azgeda had been short but violent. This, however, this level of ruin was different.

What could her people do against missiles? For the first time in her life, she felt cold fear settle in as a wave of doubt overtook her in the darkness, did she have the capabilities to get her people out of this alive?

Yet, even in this darkest of moments, there was a sense of hope that cut through her doubt. She chanced a sidelined glance at Clark again, and felt the familiar tingle in the back of her head. Was it fair to pour so much hope into the Skaiprisa? She shook off the familiar sensation, and focused on the road ahead of them.

"I think I was 5 when I saw someone die for the first time." Lexa finally spoke up at nearly a whisper.

Clark's head picked up as she returned Lexa's gaze, her brow furrowed, "that's so young", she offered, almost wistfully. "What happened?"

"The mountain." Lexa responded flatly, her gaze focused on the tree line instead of Clark.

"Was it someone you knew?" Clark's tone was soft, hesitant to press forward.

"Ja" Lexa answered tentatively unsure of how much Clark wanted to hear. She glanced at the sky girl, and saw an eagerness in her eyes that coaxed her to continue. "She was the closest thing I had to an aunt and was my mother's closest friend. After her partner died, she and her two kids lived with us." Lexa blinked through the memory of the tall strong woman who had influenced her so heavily as a child. She found herself suddenly hit with memory of her laughter as it had filled their home, the warm feeling of security she had felt when they lived together nestled its way into her heart, and she found a small smile gracing her face at the sensation.

"Go on" Clarke matched her smile in return, nudging her slightly with her elbow as they walked.

"Ayenara was strong, so smart, and incredibly kind. She was as loving to me as my own mother and taught us to treat each life as precious, to respect all life, not just our clans. She and my mother were healers and they would just as quickly work to save a life from our clan as they would from a competing camp. It didn't matter to her who it was, just that it was a life to be saved and protected. I think she wanted her kids, myself included to be healers as well. After her death, her children were absorbed by the community, raised as children of the clan; but they would always be my elder siblings. My mother looked after them as if they were her own, until her death." Lexa exhaled slowly the breath she found herself holding as she reminisced. She let the memory fade as they continued to walked on quietly; the sound of the rain hitting the canopy above them breaking the silence intermittently.

"Did any of them become healers?" Clark asked, breaking her out of her reverie.

Lexa shook her head, "after Ayenara's death, everything changed. The mountain had stolen their last parent and they were filled with a vengeful anger, one that made them a hollow version of themselves. They stopped wanting to be healers and became fierce warriors instead. As warriors we learned to channel our pain into something more productive, something to this day I know she would have never approved of."

"What happened to her?" She glanced at Clark who nodded for her to continue.

"She had been out by the river and must have fought back during one of their raids. They brought her back to us, her stomach was just...destroyed." She glanced away, trying not to recall the images in her mind, the way the blood seemed to pour out of her wound, the agonizing screams. "They brought her to my mother, who tried. There was nothing that could be done but to make her as comfortable as possible."

Clark opened her mouth as if she wanted to respond, but closed it without saying anything. Lexa felt lost, trapped in her private memory, chewing on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from giving in to any emotion she might be feeling, each contemplating their own version of life and death. "I think I'm glad that you were there with her" Clark finally added.

"I am as well," Lexa responded quickly, smiling softly "They had called for her kids, but they were older then me and had been sent to start their training, I was the only one there besides my mother. I was terrified, there was so much noise, and the room —I'll never forget the smell." Lexa swallowed thickly, trying to keep her voice even despite the emotion. "I held her hand, begging her to not die, begging my mother to make her be ok." She shook her head at the memory of Ayenara's caring eyes holding her gaze, strong and fierce. "She squeezed my hand and told me not to be afraid, 'death is not the end' she said to me." She smiled at the memory, still hearing her words echo through her soul, "she looked so calm like she wasn't afraid of anything. She promised she would find a way to come back to me, to watch over me somehow, and I wasn't afraid anymore. I believed that she would," Lexa narrowed her brow, before quietly adding, "sometimes I think she did."

Clark shook her head, her bottom lip sucked in as she chewed on it pensively. "I can't imagine that was easy."

"No, Klark. It wasn't" Lexa quietly answered as she glanced at the blond, smiling at the concern drawn across Clark's brow. "It is however, the reality of what we have been living through. This might be the first time that you have seen devastation like this. But we have lived through many wars, have lost many people. Sometimes at our own hands, although more often by the hands of the mountain."

"Why? Why do people keep fighting each other?" Clark's voice was dripping frustration, "hasn't there been enough death and destruction?"

Lexa shook her head, "there are never enough resources, enough protection, enough land between clans, enough power for their leaders. That's why this coalition is so important, Klark. I need to maintain peace in order to keep everyone alive, your clan included. I need to free my people with as many lives in tact as I can, or the coalition will begin to crumble and fail."

A comfortable silence fell between them until Clark spoke up suddenly, I wish," Clark smiled shyly, catching Lexa's eye before continuing, "I could have met her"

"You met the next best thing" Lexa couldn't help but smile at Clark's confusion, "her daughter, and the only big sister I ever knew."

She watched as the sky girl processed her words, turning them carefully over in her mind before the realization hit, "Anya."

Guest: I promise to do Lexa, and the show more justice then what has happened on the show. I can only thank them for introducing the characters to us. Now it's time for us to carry that story forward in the way that makes sense!

xan-merrick: Thank you, and I hope I haven't kept you waiting for to long! Expect regular updates moving forward again.

TheClutch: I feel that frustration and anger, especially since they are trying to turn this show into a poor version of 'Game of Thrones'. There was soooo much they could have done this season, and I feel like they just dropped that ball by trying to go for shock value. Right now, we don't need shock value, we need hope. We need to believe in humanity again. Thank goodness for Fanfiction stories, that give us that outlet!

Sumer: Thank you for reading and commenting! Expect regular updates once again as I get right back in to the swing of things!

Sailor Sayuri: I'm so happy you're still here! 3.