Chapter 5: Still, Hikigaya Hachiman Is In Way Over His Head

Because I had not eaten anything since my late breakfast, I was feeling pretty hungry when I finally arrived at home. There was no response from Komachi to my usual greeting, so I assumed she was busy studying for her entrance exams in her room. I didn't want to bother her unnecessarily, so I decided to make myself some good old-fashioned instant ramen again. After dinner, I spent my time idling in my room. I tried reading a light novel, but my thoughts were still reeling from my conversation with Hayato. When I realized that I had started the same paragraph over for the fifth time, I closed the book with a sigh. Seems like the book had to wait for another time.

And what's up with a cell phone in an arm letting you travel through time and space, anyways? I've got the feeling I'm missing something here…

A look towards the clock told me that it was still relatively early in the evening. I considered just going to bed before midnight for a change; it wasn't like I had anything more important to do. And maybe a good night's sleep would help me clear my head. I was just reaching for the light switch, when I heard our doorbell ring.

"It's okay, I'll get it." I called out towards my sister's room, proving once more what a thoughtful and kind brother I really am.

Just make sure that you make it into Soubou, Komachi. Do your best, I know you can do it! Then, your loving Onii-chan can finally protect you and take care of you at all times. Only imagining my little sister waiting for me outside of my class room, her outstretched hands presenting me with a handmade bento already fills me with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Finally you, me and Totsuka can spent your lunch breaks how it was always meant to be: talking together, laughing together, sharing the contents of our bentos between the three of us; this must be what paradise is truly like. Let's reach for our dreams together, Komachi!

I was torn away from that beautiful vision from the future, when the doorbell rang again, and once more when I was halfway down the stairs. While I was making a short detour into the kitchen to grab a fresh can of Max coffee on the way, it went off for the fourth time.

"What's with that? Calm down already." I murmured quietly to myself.

Seriously, what could possibly so important that you need to attack our poor doorbell again and again, dearest visitor? Resorting to noise pollution to get your way, it must be an unbelievably childish person. Like that friend of Komachi's, Ra-chan, wanting to complain and moan some more about her breakup with her boyfriend. Well, I'm sorry for you and all, but I'm not about to let you pull my cute little sister any deeper into your morass of anguish, desperation and premarital relations. Especially now that she is studying for her entrance exams. I, as her responsible Onii-chan, need to look out for what is best for her.

All my feelings of pride as an upstanding family member of the Hikigaya household and protector of imoutos everywhere quickly evaporated, however, when I opened the door.

It was not Ra-chan. Or any other of Komachi's friends for that matter. No brat playing some prank either. There was no need to protect my sister from a life of sin for the moment. Instead, I had a cold feeling of premonition that soon I was going to be the one in dire need of protection.

I stared at her. The MAX coffee in my hand forgotten, my mouth open in shock.

She glared back at me, shivering slightly in the cold.

Both of us didn't say a word.

Seconds passed.

I heard a car honking in the distance. The girl in front of me rubbed her hands together.

The silence between us continued. She huffed indignantly.

I considered slamming the door shut and escaping to my room as fast as I could. One of her eyes started to twitch slightly.

Maybe this is all a dream? Or rather, a nightmare. I'm sure if I close my eyes tightly and count to 5, I'll wake up in my bed, comfy and safe. Yes, that must be it. After all, there is no conceivable way and no logical reason for this to be happ-

"Jeez, Senpai, how long are you planning to make me wait? It's really cold out here, you knoooow?"

Standing in front of me on the doorstep of the Hikigaya household was Isshiki Iroha, my cute little kouhai, frowning and pouting cutely at me.

5-2

"Huh?" I finally managed to say with perfect eloquence.

"Tehehe, are you surprised to see me, Senpai? Your face looks even weirder than usual."

"...Huh?"

"Juuust kidding! There's no way for your face to get even weirder."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are you okay, Senpai? I actually expected some kind of comeback just now." Isshiki said, before coughing in her fist and adapting a rather peculiar pose. She started sloughing, her eyes narrowing and expressing an apathetic look.

"Weird? What the heck are you even talking about, my lovely and intelligent kouhai? Isn't weird just an arbitrary concept, brought forth by idiots trying to punish those that have surpassed the limits and constrains of society? I absolutely reject that notion and all those idiots trying to push their values and norms on me. Muhahuahahaha!"

"Is that supposed to be me? I don't sound like that at all." Thankfully, it appears I was finally able to regain my ability for speech thanks to Isshiki's comedy skit.

Am I some delusional nut talking into his empty cell phone about overthrowing the ruling structure of society or something?

"Hm, are you suuure~? I thought that was pretty accurate. I even tried that thing called method acting and imagined having a slightly unhealthy interest in young girls, you know?" Isshiki furrowed her brows cutely.

"Don't look honestly disappointed! And don't just casually make me a deviant as part of your performance. At least make it interest in younger girls, will you?"

"Is that so? Oh well, I guess I'll take it into consideration for next time." she said, before her eyes widened in realization.

"Wait a moment, were you actually coming on to me with that line? Although I'm flattered, I must decline for now. I'm afraid I don't feel like I'm up to your normal standards. At least wait until I'm a bit younger for now." Taking a step back, Isshiki bowed her head slightly and thrust out her open hands in my direction.

"Are you actually aging in reverse? Wait, what are you making me say here? Don't insist on forcing a new character trait on me."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Senpai. Aren't we just having a normal conversation? By the way, you still haven't invited me in, you knooow. That's no good. No wonder the girls at schools instantly feel the need to wash their hands when they come closer than 5 feet to you."

Hold on, those two things have nothing to do with each other, though. Plus, have you been secretly taking lessons from Yukinoshita? Aren't you afraid of your characters overlapping, Irohasu?!

Not wanting to get caught up in Isshiki's pace any further, I finally relented and stepped aside. "Please come in."

"I'm coming in." she said, happily barging into my house as if was the most ordinary situation one could imagine.

While Isshiki was busy removing her shoes, I finally managed to ask the question that had been bothering me since the beginning.

"How do you even know where I live, Isshiki?"

"That? Don't worry about it, I actually found out a while ago. Ah, is that your living room, Senpai? It's waaaay bigger than I thought. And is that a PX1? How retro. I always wanted to play with one of those." Without any regard to me, Isshiki rushed forward and started going through our game collection like it was the most natural thing in the world. She was even humming to herself.

No way. You can't just brush aside an important question like that. This whole thing is way, way too scary. Did you ask one of my friends? Haha, no chance of that happening. Come to think of it, Yuigahma and Yukinoshita know my address, don't they? But even that airhead wouldn't give out my address without my consent, right? And from Yukinoshita's perspective, there is no way that she would potentially endanger an underclassmen by sending her to my house alone without a gaggle of bodyguards. Hold on. It's easy to forget since she doesn't act like it at all, but Isshiki is the student council president, isn't she?

…

Just how much are you abusing your position, you damn fox?!

Finished with my game collection, Isshiki started investigating the rest of my living room.

"Now, wait a minute. What exactly do you think you're doing here?" I finally managed to ask.

"Hmmm? What do you mean, Senpai?"

"You can't just start going through other people's stuff like that."

She waved my objection aside without stopping her exploration. "Don't worry, Senpai. There's no reason to feel embarrassed. I already know what kind of person Senpai is. My opinion can't get worse, I promise."

"How is that a good thing?! And what exactly do you think you're going to find in our living room?"

Isshiki stopped for a moment and regarded me thoughtfully. "That's right, even Senpai won't be that weird. Let's wait until next time to look for that in your room after all, okaaay~?"

"No, let's not?!"

"Kyaaa~ How bold, Senpai. What are you doing, making an innocent girl look at those things without any preparation? I'm sorry, but that's not how you enter into a healthy boy-girl relationship, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline for now."

Aren't these rejections getting more and more frequent and even more ludicrous each and every time? Also, haven't I played the straight man for everybody far too much the last couple of days?

I sighed in exhaustion. "What are you doing?"

She rolled her eyes. "Hmmph, how boring. You really need to learn how to hold a conversation, Senpai."

"Yes, yes. Sorry for being boring and useless. Let me try again: Why exactly are you in my house, Isshiki?"

Isshiki finally stopped moving around the living room like a human hurricane on a mission. Instead, she seemed to suddenly lose all of her energy and shrink inside of herself. It was not a sight one usually expected to see when encountering Isshiki Iroha. It was neither her cheerful facade of a cute and innocent high school girl that she showed in school, nor the sly and calculating girl that I knew behind it.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Isshiki hesitantly turned to look at me, a conflicted expression on her face.

"Well, that's a bit… I mean, I don't know how to say it properly, okay? I don't want Senpai to think that I'm doing it without putting any thought into it. I know Senpai doesn't care about things like that, so it's a bit difficult for me to ask. But because it's Senpai, I know that he would know what to do. It's just- " Isshiki spoke haltingly, getting continuously more incoherent and quiet before stopping in the middle of her sentence.

She shuffled her feet, absentmindedly fiddling with a picture frame on the wall.

"Isshiki, what's going on?" I asked awkwardly. Gentle caring and understanding just isn't part of a loner's skill set, I'm afraid.

"I need your help, Senpai." she said after a short pause with a small, barely audible voice.

I think I have never seen Isshiki look so vulnerable before, not even on the train after Hayato rejected her.

"Alright, tell me." I said without a second thought. There wasn't anything else to do.

The pervading silence engulfed us once more. Furtively glancing at me and quickly aside a couple of times, she finally made to speak again, when a loud voice, without any regard for the tense situation, could be heard from upstairs.

"Onii-chan, what's going on? I thought I heard a voi-ehhhhh?"

Coming down the stairs with a sleepy expression, already in her pajamas, was Komachi. After seeing our unexpected visitor, her eyes had widened and her mouth was gaping comically. Rubbing her eyes repeatedly, she came down the rest of the way. She rapidly glanced back and forth between Isshiki and me as if she couldn't believe the scene in front of her.

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Although, I don't know why, but I feel like I should be a little offended right now.

"Yeah, sorry about that, Komachi. We didn't mean to bother you." I said.

"Onii-chan...who?"

"Right, I guess you haven't met yet before. Komachi, this is Isshiki. Isshiki, Komachi."

"What's with that lame introduction, Senpai? You really can't do anything right."

"Gomii-chan, you idiot! At least introduce us properly."

Apparently having recovered for the moment, Isshiki started laying into me, quickly being accompanied by Komachi.

After that wonderful chorus of insults, they turned to look at each other.

"Senpai?" Komachi said in amazement.
"Gomii-chan?" Isshiki asked, no less perplexed.

In unison, they turned to me, a similar look of accusation on their faces. I helplessly scratched my head. What do you expect me to do here, exactly?

When I showed no further reaction, they simultaneously looked back at each other.

After another moment, their eyes suddenly started roaming. Moving up and down rapidly, stopping to focus on certain points, narrowing and widening unpredictably, taking in the person in front of them and reacting to each gaze from the other. Komachi with a thoughtful and barely perceptible frown, Isshiki with the well hidden calculating look that only I seemed to recognize. Even as a loner well versed in the art of observation, I couldn't begin to describe what was happening right in front of me, let alone process it.

Then, everything began to sparkle.

"Hellooo~ My name is Isshiki Iroha. I'm a first year at Sobu High and an underclassmen of Senpai's."

"Yahallo. I'm Hikigaya Komachi, a third year middle schooler. Thank you for always taking care of my brother."

"Not at all. Rather, Senpai is always taking care of me, you know? Senpai is a reliable senpai, after all."

"Tehe, of course! This is my wonderful Onii-chan we are talking about."

"That's right, that's right. Senpai is amazing. I wouldn't know what to do without him, you knoow?"

"Tehehe, I can imagine. Onii-chan always helps Komachi with her problems, too."

"That's Senpai for you. Whenever there is an issue with the student council Senpai solves it in no time for me, you knooow? Your Onii-chan is amazing, Hikigaya-san!"

"Is that so? Well that's not too hard to believe. When Komachi has trouble with her homework, Onii-chan always comes running to help, tehehehe. Did you know Onii-chan is rank three in Japanese in his entire grade? And please, calling Komachi by first name is fine, okay?"

"Then please do the same for me, Kocchi~. And pardon the intrusion so late at night. It's an emergency with our student council, you knooow? Senpai is always so helpful; I wouldn't know what to do without him."

"No problem, IroIro. Onii-chan is really good at giving advice. Komachi's actually taking the exam for Onii-chan's school, too! I guess Onii-chan is going to have to take care of another kouhai soon, tehehe."

…

"Senpaaai, I never knew you had such a cute little sister. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yes, Onii-chan, you should've introduced Komachi to IroIro earlier. It's a real shame Komachi didn't know Onii-chan had such a cute kouhai."

Are? Is it finally my turn to enter the conversation? Please, wait a moment, I still need to recover. Otherwise, I might just start crying tears of joy. I mean, deep down I always knew how much Komachi truly loved her Onii-chan, but to finally hear it out it the open like that. It's something I will never forget as long as I live. And Iroha-chan, I always assumed I was a convenient tool and occasional pack mule for you. To think that you held me in such high regard, I'm truly honored.

But why is it that I feel like something is really, truly wrong with this scene? This feeling of unease, like the promise of horrible pain and suffering in my near future. Although you are both smiling brightly at me, why do I think of a raging fire that will eventually consume everything? Only held back by the thinnest of barriers, waiting for a single misstep into the abyss. Just what is going on?

"I-In any case. Now that the two of you are properly acquainted, let's move on. Komachi, why don't you go back to studying, while I'll hear out Isshiki, alright?"

After hearing my words, Isshiki beamed even stronger and started nodding her head cheerfully. In contrast, Komachi's smile became a little stiff.

"That goes without saying, Onii-chan. I was just going to say goodbye to IroIro. Please don't forget to offer refreshments and behave yourself, okay?" Komachi said without any infliction.

"W-what are you saying? Even I know that much."

"Sorry, Onii-chan, how dumb of me. It was nice to meet you IroIro. I hope we'll see each other again, sometime in the future."

"Of course. Good luck with your studying, Kocchi. I really look forward to seeing you at school eventually."

With a last wordless look in my direction, Komachi turned around and went back up the stairs.

W-wait, Komachi! Onii-chan is really sorry, but it's not my fault. Why are you angry at me? I know you don't like studying, but that can't be helped, can it? Please come back here and tell Onii-chan again how much you love him. Just a bit more…

"So Senpai, let's go to your room, alright~?"

A/N: Sooooo, almost 2 ½ years between real updates has got to be some kind of record, right? If anybody is still waiting for this, I'm really sorry. I've got no real excuse. I just lost motivation and was busy with real life, the usual things. Recently, I've been getting back into oregairu and reading some of the newer fics. Holy shit, there are some real gems out there. Anyways, like I said before, the ending and a lot of the climax is already written, it's just a question of getting there. Hopefully the next update will come with a little less waiting time, right?

Like always, constructive criticism is really appreciated.