The Knights of the Tavern Table / A Discovery of Kinks

King Arthur, his knights and his servant Merlin have just returned from a lengthy quest and decided they deserve to enjoy some drinks at the tavern. Percival, Leon and Merlin were discussing dragons and what they were going to do if Morgana sent hers to Camelot. A surprisingly intellectual conversation for men so drunk. Gwaine and Arthur however, were talking about something a bit more superficial which, considering the two, was not all that surprising.

"I am the most charming man in this kingdom, I could bed anyone I wished!" Arthur declared proudly, daring Gwaine to object.

Of course, Gwaine did object, "I don't think so, princess, you've yet to bed me." he said, teasingly.

"That's because I don't wish to bed you, Gwaine." Arthur said, rolling his eyes. Gwaine gasped, mocking hurt.

"I'll have you know I am the best lay in this kingdom!" Gwaine said loudly, drawing the attention of their friends.

Leon and Percival looked properly amused by Gwaine's statement but Merlin raised an eyebrow that Gaius would have been proud of.

"Easiest maybe, best though?" Percival joked. Gwaine laughed heartily at the comment, ale sloshing out of his tankard.

"Oi!" Merlin exclaimed, as some of the drink splashed into his lap.

Gwaine threw an arm around Merlin and laughed again, this time with a mischievous glint in his eye. "I forgot! I might be the best lay in any other kingdom, but someone else already holds that title in Camelot!" he announced. The other knights seemed to take interest in this. Merlin's ears started turning pink as he began whispering "no" repetitively.

"Oh? And who might that be, the maid you had last week or the week before?" Leon prodded.

"They were both quite good, that is true," Gwaine admitted, staring a bit dreamily into the distance. "But!" he said suddenly, gesturing with his mug and causing the knights to lean back for fear of being doused in ale. "Truly, the best shag in this good kingdom of ours, is someone you all know." Merlin was trying his best to get out of Gwaine's grasp but the knight's physical strength was too great compared to his own. He gave up and put his face in his arms resting on the table.

The other knights were simply dying to know this person whom Gwaine admitted was even better than himself in bed.

"Out with it then!" Arthur insisted, leaning forward in interest.

Gwaine waited, letting the tension build as everyone tried their best to think who he could be talking about.

"Merlin." he said, the biggest, proudest grin on his face.

Percival laughed. Leon looked at Gwaine, mouth in an 'o' shape. Arthur looked at Merlin, mouth in a similar shape. Merlin looked at the table, face still buried in his arms.

"Come now, Merlin, you can't be embarrassed," Gwaine started, leaning in closely to Merlin's ear and whispering, "Not after the things you've done to me." Merlin shivered.

"Not helping." he said, voice muffled by his shirt sleeves.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, incredulously, looking back and forth between the two. Gwaine grinned again.

"Best sex I've had in my life." boasted Gwaine.

Leon choked on his ale.

"Gwaine." Merlin said quietly.

"He's a kinky little one." Gwaine kept on as if not hearing Merlin.

Percival guffawed.

"Gwaine." Merlin said louder.

"Yes, dear?"

"Shut up."

"Sooo, you two are…?" Arthur asked, pointing at Gwaine and Merlin.

"Yes." Gwaine said and Merlin's head finally came up.

"No." Merlin said sternly.

"Weeeell…" Gwaine began.

"Just because two people are bonking doesn't mean they're together." Merlin said, looking only at Gwaine since he didn't think he'd ever be able to look the other knights in the face ever again.

"But you two are… bonking?" Percival asked, barely stifling his laughter. Merlin's blush returned full force.

"Yes, and as I said, Merlin is the best shag, in Camelot." Gwaine said with usual confidence.

"I think it's time I be off then…" Merlin said, finally slipping out of Gwaine's grasp and attempting to make a run for the door.

"Wait, Merlin!" Arthur called before he could escape, an idea coming to him. Merlin sighed in resignation, Arthur would threaten him until he sat back down, he knew it. "You can't leave when we're about to play a game." he said with a smirk.

"What game is that?" Merlin asked, turning just enough to glare at the king.

"Never have I ever, of course." Arthur said, as if it should have been obvious.

"Yes, I love this game!" Gwaine shouted, doing as much of a cheerful jig as he could still seated.

"No." Merlin said, certain he would die of embarrassment if he stayed for that.

"Merlin, if you don't play this game with us i'll have George train you for a month." the king threatened, an evil glint in his eye.

"You wouldn't." Merlin said, terrified.

"Oh, but I would." Arthur said dangerously, daring Merlin to refuse. Merlin slumped in submission and trudged back to the table, sitting next to Gwaine again but shooting daggers with his eyes.

"You do realize you're going to lose just as quick as I am, don't you?" Merlin asked Gwaine.

Gwaine chuckled, "But that's part of the fun, isn't it?" Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Everyone knows the rules: you hold up your fingers, someone says something they've never done, you put a finger down if you've done it and take a sip, lose all ten fingers and you're out and down the rest. Got it?" Arthur explained briefly, looking around at everyone to be sure they all understood.

Sitting on one side of the table, Percival seemed delighted. To his left, Leon appeared to be getting slightly nervous. Arthur, at the head of the table, was serious in all but his eyes which were smiling roguishly. On Arthur's left, Gwaine was excited, hands already up and fingers wiggling. Lastly, Merlin was making his best 'I'm not happy about this' face, but was refilling everyone's tankards to be equal.

"Right, shall I go first then?" the King said sprightly. He thought for a moment then said, "Never have I ever enjoyed the company of a knight."

Gwaine, Merlin and Percival all put a finger down and sipped some ale.

"Perce?" Leon questioned in surprise. Percival didn't look so amused now.

"I was drunk." he answered.

"And it was lovely." Gwaine said, wiggling his eyebrows at Percival who rolled his eyes.

"Gods, Gwaine, do you make it a goal to sleep with everyone you know?" Leon asked.

"Yes, you should consider protecting your virtue." he leered. Leon purposely looked anywhere but at Gwaine, blushing furiously. "My turn!" he said excitedly then becoming serious to think.

"Don't hurt yourself." Merlin smirked, finally cheering up a bit.

"It's your fault the list of things I haven't done has gotten so much shorter."

"Don't blame me if you're not creative enough to come up with anything new."

"You're too creative Merl, that thing you did…"

"Which thing?"

"With your neckerchief."

"Ah…"

"Anytime now, Gwaine." Arthur interrupted, feeling a bit awkward considering he'd never be able to look at that blasted scarf again without trying to figure out what it was his servant had done with it.

"Alright, alright… Never have I ever added up my number." Gwaine finally said.

"Cause it's too high." Percival said, smiling into his drink. He and Arthur each put down a finger.

"Yeah well, even when it was only a few I didn't keep track." Gwaine said.

"Sorry, number?" Leon asked, confused.

"Oh." Merlin said, surprised. "The number of people you've slept with."

"Oh…" he paused, "Well I've counted now, does that count?" Leon wondered.

Merlin snorted, "No Leon, I don't think so."

Gwaine noticed the King attempting to stealthily sip his drink. "So what's your number, Princess?" he asked with a grin, leaning toward to rest his chin on his hands, elbows on the table. Merlin was suddenly very interested, never really having the opportunity to ask his master these sorts of things.

"Why should I tell you?" Arthur asked, embarrassed.

"Because that's what this game is all about!" Gwaine said.

"Come on, sire, you're the one who suggested it." Merlin pointed out with a smile.

"I'll have you in the stocks." Arthur threatened, pointing a finger at Merlin.

Merlin was unfazed and leaned forward to look closer into Arthur's eyes.

"It's nothing I'm not used to." Merlin said, voice ever so slightly deeper.

Arthur sputtered at the double entendre, unable to come up with a quick comeback. The knights laughed heartily at their King's open mouth and wide eyes, not noticing the challenging look Merlin was giving him.

"I believe it's my turn." Merlin stated, sliding so he was sitting properly in his seat again but his daring eyes still waiting for a reaction from Arthur. Arthur finally shut his mouth, but he still looked shocked.

Merlin slowly took his eyes from the king and dragged them across each man sitting at the table before settling on Gwaine. "Never have I ever required a physician's assistance because of a foreign object stuck in my ass." he said, holding back a laugh.

"Not funny!" Gwaine shouted, but everyone else was already cracking up. He glared at Merlin, "I see how it is… gonna start right off with the heavy hitters. You'll regret that." he promised, taking a big gulp of ale.

"Counting on it." Merlin shot Gwaine a quick racy glance. "Percival?"

"Thinking… Ah! Never have I ever had magic involved in sex." Percival said. Merlin visibly tensed and slowly put a finger down, as did Gwaine but he was enthusiastically sipping on his alcohol.

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "People do that?" he asked, then noticed which of his friends were drinking. "You've been in bed with a sorcerer, and let them use magic on you?" he asked them dubiously.

"Yes and let me tell you," Gwaine started excitedly, "They can do this thing where their fingertips are like lightning, oh good lightning, lightning going all the way down to your toes giving you gooseflesh. It's the best torture imaginable." he explained dreamily.

"Lightning, you say?" Merlin asked faintly, tension quickly leaving him for curiosity. Gwaine nodded with a deep sigh.

"Really, Merlin? Magic?" Arthur asked, still shocked.

"Well, you know how Morgana can choke you just by thinking it?" Merlin asked, the same dreamy look Gwaine had growing on his face, drink truly taking hold of him now.

"Yeah…" Arthur said hesitantly at the mention of his estranged sister.

"Imagine that power, only softly, caressing you and holding you down while the person responsible sat across the room. Watching." Merlin explained, eyes in the distance and tongue gliding smoothly across his bottom lip, drawing Arthur's gaze. "Imagine it holding you by the neck, tightening slowly until you can only just draw the faintest breath. Then releasing you suddenly and you suck in as much breath as you can because as soon as you catch it they take it away again. To be totally at the mercy of another."

Everyone was silent, watching Merlin as he described such intense pleasure. Arthur was open-mouthed again, almost drooling. Gwaine really was drooling. Percival and Leon were merely stunned, being told by Gwaine did not compare to actually hearing the dirty things Merlin did from the man's own mouth.

Merlin appeared to snap out of a daydream, awkwardly clearing his throat after seeing the faces everyone was making at him. "Um, Leon?" he said, trying to draw the attention away from himself.

"What?" Leon asked, having completely forgotten what they had been doing.

"Something you've never done, please, now." Merlin urged. Everyone but Gwaine seemed to snap out of it.

"Right… Um, yeah… Never have I ever been walked in on… By a parent or guardian."

Merlin and Arthur each put a finger down.

"No way! You were caught by Uther?" Merlin exclaimed, jolting Gwaine out of his daze. "And I thought being seen by my mother was bad."

Arthur grimaced at the memory, "The only thing worse than my father angry is my father uncomfortable. He just stood there! Looked disgusted, then confused, then like he had gotten a good fright, then confused again until he finally left. It was unbearable, for weeks he wouldn't look me in the eye, and when he finally tried to talk to me about it I ran away and hid in a broom cupboard until a maid found me."

The knights and Merlin barely contained their laughter until Percival couldn't hold it any longer and they all burst in fits of giggles.

"Don't laugh! It was traumatizing!" Arthur said, betrayed.

"I can just see Uther's face!" Leon said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Shut up. It's my turn." Arthur said, desperate for a change in subject. "Never have I ever been tied up… In the bedroom."

Gwaine and Merlin each put a finger down.

"His neckerchief has many uses." Gwaine said suggestively, twisting one of the frayed edges of the red fabric. Merlin slapped his hand away and took a gulp of his ale, deciding he was going to need it with how these conversations kept going.

"And you weren't the first to know that." Merlin said cleverly.

A variety of "oooh"s went around the table.

"That's how it is, then? You're gonna get it. It's my turn." Gwaine said. "Never have I ever called out the wrong name while fucking."

"Gwaine! I can't believe you would bring that up! I said I was sorry!" Merlin whisper-shouted at Gwaine who leered at him.

"Care to tell our friends whose name you said?" Gwaine asked, gesturing to the others, piquing their interest.

"Never. I swear to all the gods if you tell them I will never fuck you again." Merlin threatened seriously, surprising everyone with his vulgar mouth.

"I never thought Merlin would be the one giving." Percival snorted, throwing Leon into another fit of giggles.

Arthur raised his eyebrows at the discovery, "Really, Gwaine? I thought you'd be the man."

"The point, Arthur, is that we're both men? If I wanted a girl I'd have a girl" Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

This seemed to throw Arthur off, "So you like men, Merlin?" he asked teasingly.

"Yeah?" Merlin answered with his own question.

"That's why you're so unpopular with the ladies!" Arthur exclaimed as if he'd discovered something very important.

"He's great with the ladies, couldn't have a better wingman!" Gwaine corrected.

"Then why have I never seen you with one?"

"Because you're not around when I'm with one." Merlin explained, then muttered something under his breath that only Gwaine heard and began to cackle, nearly falling out of his seat.

"What? What did he say?" Arthur demanded.

"I said," Merlin cleared his throat and braced himself for the fury of the king. "Gwen was."

Arthur's face blanched. "What?" he asked again.

Merlin stifled both laughter and fear, "I said Gwen was there."

"If you are implying what I thi-"

"That I kissed the Queen? Yes that is exactly what I'm implying." Merlin interrupted.

The King was flabbergasted. That his servant kissed his wife. It couldn't be true.

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not. Though actually, she kissed me to be precise."

Arthur clenched and unclenched his fits, determined to control himself. "Merlin."

"Sire?"

…

"I'm going to die aren't I?"

…

"My turn, isn't it? Never have I ever-"

"Come with me Merlin." Arthur said, standing up and walking to a closet, not watching to see if Merlin followed.

"Should I run away?" Merlin asked the knights. They all shrugged. "Very helpful, you lot." he sighed, following his king.

When Merlin closed the door Gwaine turned to the others and asked, "How likely do you think it is they're going to snog?"

"Not very, maybe twenty percent but that's the highest." Percival said seriously.

"If I didn't know better I'd say they already had." Gwaine admitted.

"I think we'll all be able to tell if they do." said Percival.

"When did Merlin and Gwen kiss?" Leon asked, feeling like he had missed something.

"No idea." Gwaine and Percival answered simultaneously.

When the two came out of the closet Merlin was grinning smugly, his hair messier than before and Arthur had a frustrated frown and red cheeks.

"I don't think they did." Leon whispered.

"Me either, even with the hair." Percival agreed.

"Damn, I was rather hoping…" Gwaine drifted as the king and servant sat back down.

"Hoping what?" Merlin asked keenly.

"That you'd snog his royal prattiness in that closet." Gwaine said bluntly.

Arthur's face went even redder than it already was and Merlin burst out laughing.

"Now, where were we?" Merlin asked no one in particular. "Ah yes! My turn! Never have I paid for sex."

Arthur slowly eased a finger down and Merlin's laughter started again.

"Is this the same one Uther caught you with?" Leon joked.

"Yes, actually."

Merlin's laughter grew even louder and Arthur thought if he kept on like that maybe his face would stick like that. By the time he stopped he was gasping for air and wiping tears from his eyes.

"You done now?" Arthur asked.

"Not really." Merlin still giggled. Arthur glared.

"Never have I ever gone without underclothes." Percival said.

Merlin, Gwaine and Arthur all put fingers down.

"When do you not wear underclothes? I dress you!" Merlin asked wondrously.

"Occasionally… I put my breeches on by myself so how would you know? You're too much of a fool to pay any attention." Arthur explained with irritation.

"Oh, I pay attention sire." Merlin said, giving Arthur a risque look. Arthur was rendered speechless yet again, but only for a moment.

"And you? You serve me, sometimes without any underthings on?" Arthur asked, holding Merlin's gaze.

"Often actually." Merlin said.

"Forty percent." Percival corrected himself.

"I dare say forty-five." said Leon.

"Is no one going to ask me how often?" Gwaine asked, feeling left out.

Merlin was the first to look away, answering Gwaine, "Almost everyday."

Arthur cleared his throat and didn't look at anyone besides fleeting glances at Merlin.

"Never have I ever fantasized about anyone at this table." Leon said suddenly.

Everyone but Leon put down a finger.

"That's just cruel." said Percival.

"To us, or him? Now he gets to wonder which of us fantasized about him." Gwaine said, winking at Leon.

"It's not going to happen, Gwaine. Leon's just not into bondage and magic like you are." Percival said, putting a comforting hand on Gwaine's shoulder as Leon laughed.

"Merlin?" Arthur began, starting to wonder.

"Yes, Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"When did you sleep with a sorcerer? Gwaine, it makes sense, all the travelling to different lands. But you've been in Camelot all this time."

"Ah. Well. You see…" Merlin stuttered, unsure what to say exactly. "Mordred?" he blurted.

Percival's ale sprayed out of his mouth, thankfully onto the floor.

"Mordred?!" The knights and king said in unison.

"You knew he was a sorcerer?!" Arthur shouted.

"You should have known, he was a druid!" Merlin shouted right back.

"I thought… I don't know, I thought maybe all of them weren't magic?" said Arthur lamely.

"Maybe not, but he definitely was." Merlin said pervertedly.

"You and Mordred were…" Arthur

"Yep." Merlin confirmed.

"So when you were talking about the choking and the holding down…" Arthur concluded.

Merlin nodded shorty.

"I thought you two didn't get on?" Percival asked.

"We didn't, not really. It was kind of a hate thing. I couldn't trust him with anything except…" said Merlin, drifting off into his own thoughts.

"How long?" Arthur asked.

"Um. Since you brought him to Camelot." Merlin admitted.

"You knew he was a sorcerer that long?" asked Arthur, shocked.

"Oh no." Merlin corrected, having misunderstood, "I knew he had magic when we helped Morgana help him escape."

"THAT long?!"

"YES!" Merlin said like it was obvious.

"I can't believe you didn't turn him in! Is that why you were always so wary of him?" Arthur asked and Merlin began to shrink into his chair.

"Sort of, I guess." he said quietly.

"Sort of, you guess?" Arthur repeated and sighed, "And you were hate fucking him since I brought him here to become a knight not bang servants."

"I was the only one." Merlin assured.

"That makes it so much better!"

"Why are you so angry?" Merlin asked.

"Because! You- you had sex with a traitor!" Arthur blamed.

"That doesn't make me one!" defended Merlin.

"I know!" Arthur yelled.

"Then stop shouting!" Merlin yelled back.

"You can't tell me what to do I'm the king." Arthur said arrogantly.

"Yeah but you stopped." Merlin smirked.

"Shut up."

"Of course, sire. Whatever you say."

"I can't believe you actually let him use magic on you like that." said Arthur, almost awed.

"Well, he had this habit of shoving me into walls and having his way with me, so we were already going at it pretty rough. What's a little magic compared to that?" Merlin told him, want so clear in his eyes and voice, rougher than normal.

Merlin chuckled, "Tying me to the bedposts turned into using force magic to hold me exactly where he wanted me." Arthur licked his lips.

"He never wanted to waste time." Arthur was hypnotized.

"He could open me up with a word and a flash of gold-"

"Ahem" Percival coughed awkwardly.

Leon looked uncomfortable.

Gwaine was leaned back in his chair so he had a view of both Merlin and Arthur.

It was quiet for a whole minute. Leon and Percival exchanged some uneasy glances. Gwaine waited in anticipation. Arthur wanted no more than to touch, but did no more than stare indecently at Merlin's lips. Merlin gazed at Arthur's, almost lost in a lustful haze from his memories.

"I'm going to bed." said Arthur, standing abruptly, chair screeching on the floor, alerting Merlin to the world other than Arthur and magical fantasies. "Merlin?" he asked. Asked, not demanded. He was definitely asking.

"Coming, my lord." Merlin said, rushing to follow as Arthur began to leave.

As soon as the door to the tavern shut, the knights looked at each other.

"One hundred."

"One hundred."

"One hundred."

"I want to go with them." Gwaine pouted.

"Don't you dare." Percival reprimanded.

"Percy, all that dirty talk got me going." Gwaine said frustratedly.

"So?" said Percival, uncaring.

"So, I'm leaving with either you or that waitress tonight." offered Gwaine.

Percival considered for a moment, then stood, clapping Leon on the shoulder. "Sorry, mate. Put it on Arthur's tab." he said, going to the door.

Gwaine slapped the table and got up as well, throwing a grin at Leon before hurrying to catch up with Percival.

Leon shook his head and finished his drink before heading home.

Sorry it's a bit dialogue heavy, I'm mostly just trying to keep in character.

Please review!