Total Drama World Tour one-shot

Outback Guardian

Written by Joey Turner

"*GASP* What the-?!"

That was the first thing Gwen exclaimed as her eyes snapped open and she was back in the land of the living. It all came back to her: her kissing Duncan, Courtney trying to kill her, her team losing the sheep-shearing challenge, she and Courtney tying in the votes… and Chris thinking it'd be FUN to have her and Courtney perform a tie-breaker with eucalyptus leaves… which she's allergic to! Followed by a FUN trip out the drop of shame into the outback… where she gets the fudge beat out of her by a kangaroo!

"Well, I'm not dead so that's a good sign… sorta. If anyone ever finally whacks Chris off, I'm gonna enjoy digging his grave!"

Gwen smiled at the thought of burying Chris, instead of getting buried herself for once; but then she remembered her situation. She realized that instead of lying –broken and swollen- out in the middle of a forest, she was lying in a bed under a lime green blanket. She looked around and saw that she was now in a small bedroom with green leafy-wallpaper, and a picture of a large rock formation on the wall right behind her. She noticed a humidifier on the bedstand next to her… then it hit her: her allergic reaction. She felt her face up with her hands and was surprised to see…

"I-I'm better?"

Sure enough, her face was back down to its original pasty glory. She felt a couple bandages over the koala scratches and one big one over her nose where the kangaroo had kicked her… compared to everything else that happened that day, a few scratches didn't seem that important.

"Okay, so… the kangaroo cleans my clock and then takes me home for medical attention?"

"Heh, not exactly, mate."

Gwen jumped a little when she heard the voice from the door. She looked up and finally noticed her mysterious savior: a very tall dark-skinned girl with brunette hair. She was wearing a white top and tan vest, a tan fedora, and tan shorts.

"Whoa! Calm down, Sheila! Just came in ta make sure you weren't dead or nothin'," the girl explained.

"After years of reality TV, you'd think I would be by now," Gwen muttered to herself. She turned back to the new girl, "Wait, where am I?"

"You're safe at me crib in The Alice," answered the girl. "Good thing too; a goog on your nose and a nasty allergy do not make a fun combo out here."

"A goog? Sorry, didn't brush up on my Australian slang," Gwen admitted.

"Sorry, still got a bit of the strine in me; don't usually have a Canadian Sheila to talk to. Name's Jasmine; you're Gwen from Total Drama, right?"

"What gave it away? Was it the hair, the clothes, or the face that screams 'I'm the new Heather, protect your precious boyfriend?'" Gwen asked that last part very bitterly.

Jasmine raised an eyebrow at Gwen's sudden bitterness, but she shrugged it off, "No. I was watchin' the last episode where you guys were over at Hangin' Rock. I wish I could've gone over ta meet you guys... but I figured you already have enough fan problems with that Sierra Sheila around."

Gwen snickered, "Believe me, Sierra's the last thing I'm worried about."

"Yeah, I saw what was goin' on the past few episodes... you doin' alright?" Jasmine asked, concern showing on her face.

"I'll get there eventually," Gwen sighed. "Still, not that I'm not grateful or anything, but why'd you go all the way out there just to save my butt?"

"Oh, I was out there anyway... I was takin' a kip –er, I mean nap- in the trees."

"Sleeping in the trees? Been there, done that… didn't end well for me."

"You kiddin'? I do it all the time! It's actually not so bad if you line your back upright." Jasmine proved her point by cracking her back; Gwen cringed a little, but smirked anyway. "Plus, I couldn't just leave you out there. Trust me, you do NOT want ta be near the never-never when it gets dark!"

"If it's anything like it was during the day, I'll take your word for it. I already had to get up close and personal with a koala… thanks again, Chris!"

Jasmine cringed, "Oooh! Nasty liddle ratbags, aren't they?"

"No kidding! It's bad enough Courtney wants to claw my eyes out!"

Jasmine awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, "Yeah, I saw that too... not really a bonzer way ta get a boyfriend, I'd imagine."

Gwen growled, "Darn it, Duncan! Couldn't he have OFFICIALLY broken up with Courtney first before this whole mess started? Or even better, why couldn't he get the hots for me when we were OFF-camera… where there's less Chris' watching us!? Now the world's just gonna see me and Duncan as the horrible people who hurt Courtney!"

"Except you and Duncan have a side of the yarn too!" Jasmine protested.

Gwen was taken aback by Jasmine's protest, but listened anyway.

"Gwen, look, what you and Duncan did -the whole hookin' up behind Courtney's back thing- yeah that was bad," Jasmine started. "But don't think that you're the only ones who mucked around. Wasn't she actin' like a dog ta Duncan in the first place?"

Gwen's stare became hardened as she remembered, "Oh that's putting it nicely. I mean at first their relationship was just… nauseating because of how crazy they were for each other. But later… she got just plain crazy! She'd throw him under the bus to win the million, she's hit him in the kiwis so many times that they're probably purple by now, and come on… a thirty-two page about relationship fixing!?

"Duncan did everything for her… and that's how she thanks him?! Well then I'm sorry, Courtney… sorry that Duncan's a better boyfriend than you ever deserved!"

When Gwen finished venting, she was panting heavily as her rage tried to cool down. She had been holding all that in all week, and it was nice to finally let it out.

Jasmine just smiled as Gwen finished, glad that she was able to let it all out. "Phew, now we're gettin' somewhere."

Gwen sighed, "Man… been holding that in for a while now. Didn't think anyone wanted to hear my part."

"But hey, you said it. And the world didn't end, did it?"

"No… now I just feel stupid for not saying that to her face. Seeing her reaction, that would've made it all worth it," Gwen smirked.

Jasmine giggled and snorted. "Still, yeah you and Duncan messed up, but I don't blame you for followin' your heart."

"Nice to hear that SOMEONE doesn't." Gwen smirked hopefully. "So is this the part where you and I become friends? Because I gotta warn you, you might be under a bit of fire if you're friends with the 'New Heather.'"

"The way the Amazons treated you bothers me... so yeah, I guess we're friends." Jasmine smiled warmly. But her smile melted into a frown, "Also I should warn you... I intimidate people. I don't know how, but I end up intimidatin' people when I try makin' friends. I don't know where it comes from!"

Gwen didn't want to say anything out loud… but she could kind of see how: Jasmine was practically an Amazon herself! She looked like she was, at least, an inch shorter than Chef Hatchet. Gwen personally didn't let it bother her that much… mostly because this girl saved her butt from dying in the outback.

Before Gwen could say anything else, a loud whirring sound could be heard from outside.

"What the-?" Jasmine exclaimed. She looked to the window. "Uh, Gwen, isn't that the Chef bloke from Total Drama?"

Gwen groaned, "Seriously?! Hasn't Chris done enough already, now he actually tries to hunt me down?"

"Actually, I don't see any sign of Chris anywhere. Just Chef."

"Wait… JUST Chef? How did he find me?"

A knock at the window interrupted her thoughts. Of course, it was Chef; but Jasmine opened the window anyway.

"Uh… g'day, sir. Can I help you?" Jasmine asked suspiciously.

"Sorry to bug you, but I'm gonna do it anyway," Chef answered. "I'm gonna need you to hand over that pasty maggot over there." He pointed to Gwen.

"Nice to see you too, Chef," Gwen groaned. "Tell Chris that he can bite the business end of my boot. And if you can, deliver that same message to Courtney. How'd you find me anyway? Did you tag me and the rest of the cast, or something?"

"Nah! Chris wanted to tag ya'll, but the Producers said we had to chose between the tags or his fancy three-person hottub. Guess which one he picked." Gwen rolled her eyes at this. "And ya'll ain't goin' back to Chris, scary girl! Geoff and Bridgette need you back for the aftermath!"

"The aftermath!? …Do I get any other options?"

"Nope. Unless you wanna get airlifted out of here!"

"Alright then, aftermath it is," Gwen sighed. "Guess I'll have to face them eventually… might as well get it over with."

"That's the spirit, Gwen," Jasmine commended, "It'll sting for a bit, but then it'll be over. Besides, would it be any worse than what you've already been through with Chris?"

Gwen snickered, "True. I'll take being scorned over dealing with cactuses, koalas, and Courtney for another year." She slowly got back up –she was still sore from her day of FUN at Hanging Rock- and started heading for the door.

But before she left, she turned back to her new Amazon friend. "And listen, I really owe you big time for taking me in and fixing me up, Jasmine."

"No worries, Gwen. Just didn't want ta see some cool goth Sheila dyin' on me home turf, eh?" Jasmine snickered, causing Gwen to snicker back.

Reluctantly, not wanting to leave her new friend and savior, Gwen exited the house and made her way to the helicopter… ready to face probably another earful from her 'friends' at the aftermath. Well, it was better than dying in the middle of the outback. As she boarded the helicopter and it took off, Gwen waved bye to Jasmine. Jasmine waved back until Gwen was out of sight.

As she watched Gwen leave, Jasmine started thinking of what it would be like if she auditioned for Total Drama. Maybe she'd get to meet up with Gwen, and she could use the money to finance her dream job: a flower shop/training facility called "Roses Are Red, Bruises Are Blue." Ever since she was little, she dreamed of owning a place like that.

But, finishing high school came first. Then, after that, who knows? Maybe once she's free and TD DOES start holding auditions again, maybe she'd go for it. But for now, she was just satisfied living in the here and now: where she helped save a poor goth chick from dying in the outback. Not a bad way to spend the afternoon.