A/N: ...I saw a post. On Tumblr. I just shouldn't be allowed there anymore. *falls backward on the ground*

Title: Learning to Breathe

Author: liketolaugh

Rating: T

Pairings: None

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: AU, literally. Non-canon ending.

Summary: Allen isn't coping well with the end of the Holy War and the loss of his friends. Neah is frustrated with his brother's carelessness. Their Arks bring them together, and Allen goes into a world where the Holy War doesn't exist and Mana's family - his family - is still alive.

Disclaimer: Like hell I own D. Gray-man.

Neah huffed in frustration, letting the Ark door slam shut and disappear behind him as he boarded the Ark. Without a single glance back, he started forward, heading for one door in particular, the location of which he knew by heart by now.

He couldn't believe his brother. He loved Mana, really, he did, but his twin was just too much sometimes. He was so absurdly irresponsible; he knew introducing him to Cross was a mistake.

Cross had brought Mana home the night before, laughing, and with Mana drunker than Neah had ever seen him, which was saying something. It had upset Neah; worse, it had upset Katerina, which was instantly a capital offense in Neah's book. And in Mana's, too, usually.

Cross was lucky he'd made a quick getaway.

Neah gritted his teeth, swallowing against a lump in his throat. Mana was a caring person at heart, but he'd been very carefree lately, and while once, Neah would have been happy to see this, Mana took it too far.

When he was angry, or upset, Neah liked to retreat to the Ark. He knew that this wasn't its real purpose - it was a great responsibility, and using it selfishly was very hypocritical of him - but it was one of the few places he knew he wouldn't be found, not if he didn't want to be.

His father, Adam, had put him in charge of the Ark when he turned eighteen years old; he and his brother were now twenty-four. Their father, busy with his work with the Noah, was often away; Katerina, whom they still lived with, was, by contrast, always home.

Neah hadn't settled on a job yet, still exploring, but he earned money (which they admittedly didn't need) by playing for people in town. Mana, on the other hand, liked to do clown tricks.

Mana was a very frustrating person.

Neah took a deep breath and finally chose a door and pushed it open, bringing him into the room that not even Mana knew about - his room, with a wall of mirrors and a piano, among other things.

He sat down at the piano, closed his eyes, and started to play, letting his frustration and his worry flow out of his fingers and into the music.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Krory pushed, almost fretting. Allen cast him a weary smile.

"I'm fine," he promised. "I just want to be alone for a bit."

Krory was still hesitating visibly, but eventually, he nodded reluctantly. "Okay, Allen. Just… remember we're all here for you. Please?"

Allen's smile softened. "I remember. Thanks, Krory. I might be away for a while, but I'll be back - I promise."

Krory smiled back, looking only a little reassured, and Allen turned and entered the Ark, starting to search out a particular room.

It had been three months since the end of the Holy War, and Allen could still hardly believe it was over. It was, in many ways, a relief, but in others… They'd lost so many people.

He could never regret that it was over, but sometimes he wondered if he could have done better. Maybe then they wouldn't have lost Kanda. Or Lenalee. Or Miranda.

The tears that never seemed to finish falling pricked at his eyes, and he brushed them aside roughly. No. He'd promised them that he'd keep going, no matter what.

It was harder than he liked to admit.

It was worse, sometimes, because in the process of defeating Neah, he'd become… familiar with the Noah. Who were evil and insane and sadistic, but who also could have, if they had had their wits about them, maybe been better people.

It was a thought that itself hurt, and Allen tried to think about it as little as possible. It was no use wondering anyway. It wouldn't bring anyone back.

He knew he was upsetting his friends, those that were still alive, and he didn't mean to. Sometimes, though, it just became too much, and he felt the need to be alone for a while. It was better to be the only person in the room than to feel like it in a room full of friends. Sometimes, he just needed to… to get away.

Timcanpy, nestled in his hair, was silent and still, and Allen chuckled ruefully.

"Some clown I am, huh, Tim?" he asked quietly, pushing the door to the Fourteenth's room open. "I can't even act happy when we've gotten everything we've ever wanted."

Tim shifted, and Allen imagined that he was looking down at Allen with that worried look he got sometimes, though how he managed it, Allen had never bothered to wonder.

One thing that hadn't left Allen when the Fourteenth had was the memory of how to play the piano, or, for that matter, of the Melody. He started to play that now, with no goal in particular, wishing the Ark could turn back time and make things better.

Five minutes later, a door opened.

Allen's head jerked up, and he blinked at it, startled. Timcanpy left his hair and fluttered toward it, tail waving, and then flitted around to look at Allen expectantly.

Lifting his hands off the piano, Allen asked uncertainly, "You… want me to go through?"

Tim bobbed furiously in midair.

Allen sighed and gave the golem a wry look, standing up. "Alright, Tim," he agreed, smiling. "I'll go, but only for a few minutes, okay?"

Tim seemed satisfied with this, and returned to his perch on Allen's head with an air of what Allen would almost call smugness. Allen rolled his eyes fondly and opened the door.

The room on the other side was almost empty. There was a painting on the wall, similar to the one Allen's room in the first Order headquarters had sported, and another door, closed and, when Allen checked it, locked.

Allen frowned. "There's nothing here," he told Tim, mildly exasperated with his mute companion. "Why did you want me to come in?"

It was a rhetorical question, and Timcanpy didn't answer, but he did bite Allen when he tried to leave. So it was with an exasperated sigh and another wry smile that Allen leaned against the wall beside the door he'd come through, crossing his arms.

"Alright, Tim. I'll stay here for a bit." His gaze wandered. Almost too soft for even Tim to catch, he added, "It's quiet here, at least."

Tim stayed silent, burrowing into his jacket collar, and for a while, both of them stayed like that. Allen wasn't waiting for long, though, because just a minute or so after he entered, someone came in through the locked door.

It was with almost identical looks of surprise that the two met each others' gazes.

"What are you doing here?" the other asked. At the same time, Allen asked warily,

"Fourteenth?"

Despite gaining a better understanding of the Noah's character than he ever would have imagined when he first started to fight him, Allen had never developed the habit of addressing Neah by his given name, and he had also never lost the sense of dread that accompanied his appearance.

Neah looked, if possible, even more surprised at that, and interested as well, now. "Yes, that's me, but call me Neah, please. Are you one of the Noah?"

Allen shook his head slowly, frowning.

Neah, he realized, looked actually… A little older than Allen could remember seeing him. And… shouldn't he know who Allen was by now?

Something wasn't right.

"I'm Allen," he said, seeing that Neah was looking at him expectantly. He hesitated, trying to figure out what to ask and then how to phrase the question, and, finally, asked, "Do you… remember me at all?"

Neah stood up straight, startled, and then studied him for a long moment, a deep furrow in his brow. "You look a bit like a friend of mine," he said at last. "But no. I'd definitely remember if I saw you." He grinned a little, and then it faded, replaced with slightly worried curiosity. "How did you get here?"

"Through the Ark," Allen answered. He'd relaxed a little on realizing that this Neah was not the Neah he knew, and didn't seem to bear him any ill will. He nodded at the door he'd come through.

Neah frowned. "But I came through the Ark."

Allen hesitated again, rolling that over in his mind. Neah didn't know him… and he'd come through a different Ark… He'd surely noticed the Innocence on Allen's left hand, but he hadn't said anything, and...

They never had worked out exactly what the Ark was capable of.

Well, he had the Ark's previous master right in front of him.

"Neah…" Allen paused, and Neah frowned at him, interrupted in the middle of trying to work things out himself. "Can the Ark cross… dimensions?"

Neah looked at him with a frown of his own, leaning against the opposite wall. "Well, I don't see why not," he said slowly. "Why…" Realization cleared his eyes. "I should know you."

Allen smiled. Not the warmest smile he'd ever managed, but it was more than he'd expected to manage, with how much his stomach was suddenly churning. "How's your brother?"

"Mana?" Neah straightened up. "You know Mana?"

Allen considered. Then he stopped considering and threw himself into the vortex without looking back. "He's my father." Even after all he learned over the course of the war, he still knew that much.

Neah stopped. His eyes widened, and Allen braced himself, flinching away so slightly that Neah probably didn't notice, but Tim, hiding in his collar, did; Allen could feel the little golem nuzzling him encouragingly in response.

Then a broad, almost excited grin came over Neah's face, which was the last thing Allen had expected. He darted across the room to look at Allen more closely, and Allen jerked back reflexively; as close to the wall as he was already, Neah didn't notice.

"Mana's son?" he repeated, interest in every syllable of his words. "Really?"

Allen nodded cautiously.

"So that makes you my nephew!" Neah beamed, apparently ignoring Allen's wariness. He laughed. "Well, the circumstances might be a little odd, but it's very nice to meet you, Allen!"

He held out a hand, and cautiously, Allen took it.

Timcanpy chose that moment to wriggle back out of his hiding place, popping up to greet this version of his old master. Neah's eyes lit up.

"And that's Timcanpy!" he said happily. Timcanpy's tail waved in greeting; the little golden ball seemed very pleased to see his two masters in separate bodies again. "You've been looking after him, right?" He looked back at Allen, smile still just as broad. "And I must have given him to you - and the Ark as well, if you used it to get here."

"You didn't somehow miss the part where we come from alternate universes, did you?" Allen wondered, but in the face of Neah's enthusiasm, it was much easier to smile than usual. "I'm not even the son of your Mana."

Neah waved his hand dismissively. "Irrelevant! You're Mana's son, and that's more than good enough for me." He smiled at Allen gently, cheeks still flushed with delight. "I don't know what let us meet, Allen, but I'm glad it did. How old are you?"

"Eighteen," Allen replied, silver eyes a little bemused. And he could see Timcanpy laughing at him, which he resented. Timcanpy was supposed to be on his side, dammit.

Neah 'hm'ed. "Mana and I are only twenty-four, though. So you must be from the future as well!" He nodded decisively. "That's it. You have to come over."

"...What?" Allen had been feeling a little lost through this entire conversation, but now he wasn't entirely sure Road hadn't come back from the dead and abducted him. This was exactly the kind of mind fuck she liked.

"You have to meet them," Neah persisted, looking increasingly pleased with the idea. "Come on! Wouldn't it be interesting to meet your grandmother and your father when they were younger?"

Allen could practically feel his heartbeat stutter in his chest, and he let his head tilt slightly to one side. "My… grandmother?" he echoed.

Neah's eyes widened. "You've never met Mom? You definitely have to come!" At Allen's still-hesitant look, he added, "Please?"

Allen's brow creased. "I… don't know if I'll be welcome," he said quietly, wishing he wasn't already against the wall so he could back up some more. He glanced down at his left hand - Innocence would hardly be welcomed into a house full of Noah.

Sure enough, Neah glanced down and followed his gaze, processing what he was seeing in a moment. Distaste filled his eyes and Allen braced himself, but then Neah shook his head and said determinedly, "Well, it's not ideal, but if Mana didn't mind then neither do I."

Allen was startled, but far from fully reassured. Hoping it would discourage Neah, he pushed, "I'm adopted. I didn't even meet Mana until I was seven."

"Doesn't matter!" Neah insisted, frowning at him. "Why are you so insistent on not coming?"

"Why are you so insistent that I do?" Allen countered, not entirely sure why himself.

Neah blinked at him uncomprehendingly. "Because. You're family," he said plainly.

...Family?

Unexpected warmth spread across Allen's chest, similar to the time Johnny swore to stay with him because they were 'friends', even as he argued, "You don't even know me."

"But I want to." Neah looked earnest, more earnest than Allen had imagined he possibly could; this Neah was very different from the Neah Allen knew. "And I'm sure Mother would as well. And Mana, of course."

Allen still hesitated. "I don't know…"

"Please?" Neah leaned back a little, clasping Allen's shoulders in his hands, and gave him the most pleading look Allen had ever seen. At the same time, Timcanpy tugged on Allen's hair, toward Neah.

Allen glanced up. "You think I should go, Tim?"

Timcanpy growled in agreement and fluttered over to hover expectantly by Neah's door.

Neah positively beamed. "See? Tim agrees with me!"

"Well…" Allen hesitated.

But… but he had wanted to get away. Just for a while. And it was really, really tempting, to be given the opportunity to meet the family he'd never known, to be able to see Mana, even a Mana who'd never known him, again…

"...Okay."

Alright, guys! *bright smile* So chapters for this story ought to range from about two to four thousand words, but that's not certain right now. Now, this first post might be, yes, on Thursday, but this story will update alternate Tuesdays. (Because I'm drowning in my own stories. *scowl*) This first chapter is a (late) birthday present for a friend, StabbedbyaSonata. Next update will be next Tuesday (so this and For the Sake of Science fall on different weeks) and then we'll go from there. *smile* Thanks for reading, and please review!