Tumblr friends itschildofthefairies and evilkitten3 will be the death of me. I was just casually scrolling through my dash and they have a whole conversation of Zeref/death puns going and of course I love puns and god damn it, the next thing I knew, there was a whole AU. I hope to hell it's just a one-shot and I don't think of this terrible point in my life ever again.

Anyway. More Zervis for the fandom, I guess. Cheers. I should probably start stacking all my Zervis one shots into one story, lol. Otherwise my profile is going to go out of control.

She didn't realize that she was immortal until after her first kiss.

And maybe that explained why the last time she ate ten hamburgers dripping in mayonnaise and stacked high with pickles she didn't just drop to the ground and suffer a heart attack, despite her long standing history of hypertension and heart disease.

"Wow, that's impressive," some of the boys in her class would tell her when she told them what she ate that weekend at her uncle's barbecue.

"Yeah, I guess I'm too young to die," she concluded.

But maybe—just maybe—being immortal was a better explanation.

Of course, this, she didn't realize until the end of her first date with Zeref Dragneel, the heart throb of her high school with his black hair, onyx eyes and rather asshole-ish demeanor.

And—even though he was attending college about a city away, and even though he was most definitely older than he should have been to be dating high school girls, and even though he had definitely been with more girls that he could count on his hands—whenever he showed up on their Tinder screens, girls would gush and swipe right, hoping that they'd get a match with this creepy albeit handsome man.

But Mavis was really just looking to get her first kiss while she was browsing the dating app. She thought that if she didn't have naturally large boobs like some of the other girls in her class (yeah, damn her family genes), she at least wanted to be an experienced kisser so that the crack of her lips could make up for the cleavage she lacked.

So she was only half-surprised when she found she had a match with him the next day.

He sent her more pictures of him and she showed them to the rest of her friends.

"Oh my god, he's so drop dead gorgeous! You're so fucking lucky, Mavis!"
"I've heard he's a killer at kissing."
"OMG, yaaass!"
"Mavis, you have to promise me that you'll snag a kiss with him!"
"And take a selfie so that we can see more of his breathtaking beautiful-ness!"

"He asked me out for tomorrow," she told her friends.

"Holy shit! Tomorrow?!"
"Maybe he'll do something romantic with you?"
"Ugh, a romance with him would be to die for."
"I'm going to fucking roll in my grave if you don't say yes."

Mavis then texted him back on the app, confirming a yes. In the background, her friends squealed, and she promised them that she'd live tweet during the whole debacle.

The blonde was rather indifferent about the whole thing. He was a college student for god's sake. There was nothing creepier than thinking about a 20-something year old man trying to get hits from immature high school students like herself and actually being willing to do it—although she guessed he looked younger than he actually was so it probably all worked out in public.

Point was, she was just going to get what she wanted out of this date—a good kiss and some practice—and that was all.

And fortunately for her, the date actually went by very smoothly. He took her to a nice dinner and had an interesting conversation about fairies, tails, and existentialism. She impressed him a couple of times with her maturity and he praised her for it. She found herself maybe about to fall into a crush with the strange college kid with a strong gothic aesthetic.

In other words, she was very ready to be kissed by him when all the stars seemed to point that way, and as she backed into a willow tree in the middle of the park they were just walking around in with their fingers intertwined, she let his hands take either side of her face and tilt her lips up to him.

And wow, yes, kissing him was great. The rumors were all true.

He was fantastic at it.

She was surprised when it got to a point where she gasped and moaned, but maybe he was even more surprised to hear her really get into it because he suddenly pulled back and took her hands—

"What?! You're still alive?!"

She blinked, confused. "Was I supposed to die?"

"Yes, you were supposed to die! Holy shit!" he exclaimed, stepping back from her. "I can't believe…what?!"

Mavis tilted her head. "Zeref?"

His hand covered his mouth. He looked like he was choking back some combination of relief and fear, which admittedly was very interesting to witness. He swallowed before stepping forward and grasped her wrists, looking intently at her.

"Every single person that I've kissed has died immediately," he admitted to her.

She tried hard not to remember how many other dates he had had.

"You…you must be immortal," he told her, his eye wide and voice full of awe.

He was probably most definitely crazy but she thought on his words for a moment, thinking of a past hamburger incident.

"Well, I guess that explains a lot," she agreed.

Geez, I haven't written Zervis in a long time. I miss it so damn much, haha.

Anyway, let me know what you think, loves!

thir13enth