So, after the heartbreaking feels-fest that was RWBY Volume 3, I needed to write something light-hearted to get my mind off of it.

This is it.

Expect crack, out-of-characterness, parody, whatever you'd expect to find in a RWBY Big Brother-esque scenario. This is really my first comedy/parody story, so bear with me here. I usually do darker, more serious things with lots of death. Expect none of that in this. I promise you that my friends.

Oh, possible spoilers/not spoilers for all of RWBY. You have been warned.

RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Praise our overlords.

I hope you enjoy wherever this wild ride might take us.

"I will ask you this once more, Ozpin: Are you sure about this?"

Ozpin was a gambling man. Always was. He had taken many risks in his life, with many of them failing miserably with serious consequences.

Hopefully, this would not turn out to be one of them.

"Yes, Glynda. I am. I would not have come to these lengths if I was not."

"But this seems so… odd. What made you even think of such a thing?"

Ozpin adjusted his glasses. "Sometimes… Men make wagers that they do not think someone will actually go through with. Years ago, I made this one with a former 'acquaintance' of mine."

"I don't like how you said acquaintance."

"…These days, mortal enemies would best describe our current relationship."

The Good Witch's eyes widened. "You cannot be serious. You made this bet with her, of all people?"

"I did not think she would take my jesting seriously."

Glynda sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. "And you are supposed to be a Headmaster..."

"We all make mistakes," Ozpin replied, sipping from his cup, "But I believe in my students. Surely they can meet my expectations."

"What exactly are your expec-

The loud screeching of a double-decker bus interrupted the Good Witch as the vehicle halted behind the two. Its doors opened quickly as its passengers filed out in a (somewhat) orderly fashion, 16 in total. Many of them were familiar to Ozpin; they were his students after all. However, the other 7 were less than friendly. He had never been quite familiar with her pawns, but recognized two as members of the White Fang due to their masks. The group gathered in front of Ozpin and Glynda, a clear rift between them that made their alliances clear.

"Welcome, everyone," Ozpin greeted with a nod, "I assume you all had a pleasurable ride here."

No answer, aside from one coming from a particularly notable student of his.

"I-It was kinda loud," Ruby Rose replied, "And bumpy. And that one guy with the mask kept coming down from up top to spy on Blake."

"How dare you talk about Adam in such a way!" one of the White Fang members shouted, having to be held back by the one Ozpin presumed to be Adam from charging at his student, "He only wishes to see that his fellow Faunus is safe among you human scum! You've already tainted her enough!"

"What was that, tough guy?" Cracking her knuckles, Yang Xiao Long also had to be held back from fighting, though Blake Belladonna and Weiss Schnee were having trouble doing so.

"He's not worth it, Yang," Blake grunted, "He's just a Lieutenant. Not a very bright one, at that."

On the side of her pawns, there was a collective regret of having even offered to participate in this wager. One of the girls however, black haired and wearing a dark red mini-dress, had a smug smile on her face. "It seems like you may lose this wager sooner than you think, Ozpin."

The Headmaster gave the girl a cold look; this must be the Cinder Fall that she had mentioned casually. There was an aura of uneasiness surrounding her. No wonder this girl was her favorite pawn. "The wager has not yet begun, my dear. Whatever the result may be is up to all of you and your behavior."

"So…" Jaune Arc stepped out from behind the rest of his classmates, "What exactly is all of this? We never got, uh, debriefed or anything. Is this some kind of mission?"

"I'm glad you asked, Mr. Arc. Now, you are all here to participate in a game of sorts. Consider this a social experiment. An 'acquaintance' of mine and myself were curious to see if we could resolve our differences peacefully and without conflict. However, the only way in which we could possibly accomplish that goal was with this."

The Headmaster gestured to the penthouse behind the group, situated between clusters of trees. It was fairly modern-looking, and large enough to fit 16 people within it. There was a balcony sitting above the doorway, and the sound of running water came from behind.

"So… You're giving us a house?" the infamous crook Roman Torchwick questioned, resting his cane on his shoulder, "I appreciate the offer and all, but I prefer not to be in one place all the time. Easier to get caught that way… This isn't a setup, is it?"

"No," Ozpin replied, regretfully not having added 'unfortunately' to that statement, "This is not a gift to you all, but an experience. For 30 days, you shall all be sharing this penthouse with each other-

"I'm out." Emerald Sustrai interrupted. As she tried to make a break back to the bus Mercury Black grabbed her by the arm, sealing her fate.

"Oh-no, no way. If I have to suffer through this, so do you."

"Did I mention that there would be a cash prize if you are all successful?"

Now that resonated with all of them. Moneybags sprouted from many pairs of eyes, with a particularly short girl standing by Torchwick seeming the most eager to claim it. Her partner pushed her back, putting his cane in front of her. "Stop it, Neo. There's a catch to this. There always is."

"I doubt that," Pyrrha Nikos assured, "Ozpin would not pull such a trick on us."

"Aw, but that's what makes it fun," Sun Wukong groaned, "Puts some excitement towards it."

"Do not worry, there will certainly be excitement," Ozpin said, "There is only one requirement to this game: you must all get along within those walls… to an extent, that is. Only then will the cash prize be split amongst all of you."

There was some murmuring between the two groups, before they turned back to face Ozpin and Glynda. Lie Ren raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Ren?"

"What if we fail?"

Ozpin blinked. "Pardon?"

"He said what if we don't get along?" Weiss put her hands on her hips, "This won't be a big waste of time, will it?"

Huh. He hadn't really discussed that one with her. Time to improvise.

"…The cash prize will be donated to local groups in need."

"Like the White Fang?" Adam asked, though it sounded more like a demand.

"We will figure that out if the time comes," Ozpin said quickly; he could already feel Glynda's death glare burning through him. "Now, I feel it is time you go find your quarters and make your adjustments. Your suitcases have been left in the rooms assigned to you."

"Ooh, I hope we're together!" Nora Valkyrie squealed, latching Ren's arm, "But not together-together, you know?"

"I'm well aware, Nora. I'm well aware."

As the group began walking towards the penthouse, Ozpin let out a heavy sigh. Glynda's icy gaze was focused on him. "This is ludicrous, you know."

"A wager is a wager, Glynda."

"…How large is this cash prize, exactly? Where could you possibly have gotten it from?"

"…"

"Ozpin."

"I may have stretched the truth somewhat… As in, there is no cash prize-"

"You lied to-

"Stretched the truth, Glynda. Lie is such a strong word. Besides, this cannot turn violent. They have no weapons on them, and they are in a barrier that prevents them from activating their Semblences. There is no need to worry."

The two adults looked out to see Yang slap a bright red 'Kick Me' sign on the back of the White Fang Lieutenant.

"I'll make sure there is an ambulance on standby."

"Please do."