Welcome to my self-indulgent story, where 'self-indulgent' means no ships and everyone ends up crying from happiness. I don't own One Piece. I'm planning on adding a new chapter once a week. Enjoy, folks.

Monkey D. Luffy was awake all at once, eyes wide, heart pounding. He jerked upright, only vaguely registering the red-haired woman nearby (she looked kind of like Nami, except not really), and patted the space around his head and neck.

His hat was missing. This was a huge problem. Also, he didn't know where he was, or where his nakama were, or who the red-haired lady was, and he was hungry. But his first and biggest problem was his missing hat. For a moment longer, Luffy kept patting in the hope that it would magically appear. When that failed to happen, he turned his attention to the other person in the room. She looked pretty annoyed. Her hands were on her hips as she looked at him. Luffy had never seen her before in his life.

Didn't matter. He needed his hat. Hat, and then meat. Where was Sanji? Sanji would get him meat, as soon as he found his hat. Hat, then nakama, then meat. Unless he found meat first. Then he'd eat it. Duh.

"Glad to see you're awake," the lady said, just as Luffy opened his mouth to ask about his hat, and also about the meat, and maybe about his crew. "Were you trying to get yourself killed? We were on a stealth mission. A. Stealth. Mission. What part of that didn't you get?"

Luffy didn't have the slightest clue was she was talking about, but she sounded pretty annoyed. "Hat," he said, because really, that was the only important thing right now.

That wasn't his voice. Did that matter? Probably, but it could wait until he'd gotten his hat back.

The lady frowned. "What hat?"

"My hat," Luffy said, because it should be obvious, "The one I always wear, you know, Shanks gave it to me?"

The lady's frown deepened. "The only hat that's yours is that ratty old top hat with the goggles, and neither of us knows how you got that. And- Red-Haired Shanks?"

Top hat. Goggles. That struck a memory within Luffy's mind, an important one, even more important than meat. He nodded absently as he tried to connect it to something.

Top hat. Goggles. A missing tooth, a metal pipe, and short, blond hair.

The lady was talking again, her eyes wide. "How did you- wait, Sabo, don't tell me your memories are coming back?!"

Sabo. That mattered.

"I'm not Sabo," Luffy said, because he wasn't, and that was important, but also important, more important, "Sabo's not dead?"

"Wh-what?" The lady looked confused. Luffy didn't blame her. He didn't look at all like Sabo.

He didn't sound like Sabo, either, but right now he didn't sound like himself, and it felt like there was something important about that fact, something that he was missing. But that didn't matter right now.

"I'm not Sabo," Luffy repeated when the lady didn't say anything else, and then again, "But- he's not dead?"

If Sabo wasn't dead, then why hadn't he told them?

"Then who are you?!" the lady snapped, jolting out of her daze and shifting into some kind of fighting stance that Luffy thought he recognized from somewhere. Didn't matter.

"Sabo's not dead?" Luffy asked a third time, because this was the most important thing in the world right now, more than where was he, who was she, more than his voice being not his and his nakama, more than meat, and even more than his hat, right now.

"No, he's not dead!" the lady said, and a wild joy swept Luffy up. He felt like he could launch himself to Skypiea on willpower alone. He wanted to laugh, to cry, to dance and sing for days on end- Sabo was alive, alive, alive, even if he'd been a huge jerk and never told us- "Who are you?!" the lady asked again, sounding angry and reminding him of Nami even more strongly than before.

"I'm Luffy," Luffy said. Obviously. "Who else would I be?" A beat passed. Then another. The lady's face and stance went from angry and ready to fight to confused and a little awkward. Something about Luffy's own words made him feel like he was missing something. Something big- oh, yeah. "Where's my hat?"

"Luffy," the lady said, "As in, Straw Hat?"

"Yeah. Where is it?"

"Um. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but…" the lady hesitated. Luffy remembered something else important.

"Meat," he announced, smacking one fist on his open palm. "I want meat."

"Excuse me?" The lady asked, looking taken aback.

"I'm hungry, I want meat. Hat first, then meat, and then I gotta get back to my nakama." Luffy nodded to himself. Yep. That was all that mattered in the world, except for the wonderful news that Sabo was alive and- "Who are you, anyways?" he asked the lady.

The lady drew herself up. "I'm Koala, of the Revolutionary Army!"

Luffy blinked. "Isn't that a kind of bear?"

Koala slammed him on the head. "WILL YOU SHADDUP AND LET ME THINK?!"

"Owwww!" Luffy whined, very intensely reminded of Nami and now kind of homesick, "I didn't even do anything!"

"QUIET OR I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE!"

Luffy made a small 'eep' sound and pursed his lips. Koala was mean. He wanted to go back to the Sunny. Hat first, then meat if there was any, then go back to his nakama. The perfect plan.

Koala sighed. "Okay, Sa- I mean, Straw Hat...follow me, will you?" She opened the door, made a 'come on' motion, and left. Luffy followed her. Maybe she would take him to his hat now. Or meat! That would be great!

"How do you know Sabo?" Luffy asked as the question popped into his head. She looked back at him with a surprised face.

"The Revolutionaries practically raised us together. We're partners, and I've known him since we were-what, twelve? Thirteen? About that. He's like a brother to me."

Sabo had a sister! That meant Luffy and Ace had a sister!

"Sabo's my brother, too!" Luffy said happily. He suddenly realized he hadn't actually seen Sabo. Where was he? Was he lost? Maybe he was with Luffy's dad, Dragon, that guy was in charge of the Revolutionary Army, right?

Koala had frozen with a door (and her mouth) half-opened. "His brother?" she repeated, almost in a whisper. Then she lunged towards him, grabbing his shoulders. "Straw Hat Luffy-you're Sabo's brother?!"

"Yep!" Luffy nodded enthusiastically. "I haven't seen him in forever!" Stupid Sabo hadn't even written them a letter. But Sabo was alive, Sabo had a sister- he had to tell Ace! Oh, man, he couldn't wait to tell Ace- all Luffy needed was his hat and his nakama and some meat, and the world would be better than it ever had been before.

"This just gets better and better," Koala muttered, which was how Luffy felt exactly, except she didn't sound very happy about it. "Alright, I guess I'd better break it to you first." She yanked the door open and all but shoved him through it. It led to a bathroom, and Koala spun him to face the mirror.

Luffy blinked, then frowned. He wasn't in the mirror. There was Koala, and there was a tall blond man with wavy hair that, except for a burn scar over his left eye, really reminded Luffy of Sabo. He even had the silly napkin Sabo always wore around his neck. Luffy's reflection, though, was nowhere to be found.

"A mystery mirror?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. The maybe-Sabo-reflection tilted his head, too, his lips moving with Luffy's own. Luffy's frown deepened. So did maybe-Sabo-reflection's. "What's with this mirror? I'm not anywhere in it!"

Koala gave him an 'are you stupid?' look. Luffy knew that look well.

…His voice wasn't his, Luffy remembered. And suddenly, it mattered.

His voice wasn't his, and his reflection wasn't either, and Sabo was still not there, and Koala had called him Sabo (she'd also said something about his memories, but that didn't matter, at least, not yet).

"Oh," Luffy said in the voice that wasn't his, a hand lifting almost against his will to his left eye, where his crescent scar and the reflection's burn scar were located, and when he touched, it was the burn he felt, not the crescent. "I'm Sabo."

Koala nodded grimly. "Unfortunately," she sighed, "You're also Straw Hat Luffy."

He wasn't going to get his hat back anytime soon, was he?

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