Everyone's on edge the morning of the funeral.

The flower arrangement gets sent to the wrong location, my mom picks a fight with me over what I'm wearing, and my uncle's car gets towed, which sparks an argument between everyone because he was supposed to pick up my grandma and drive her to the service.

It's a shit show, and we're all struggling to make it through this difficult day.

As I watch everything happening in slow motion, the actual funeral somehow passes in a blur. It's weird, and I feel off. Everyone does, I think. It's not a scenario you ever imagine yourself to be in, so when it happens, it's hard to focus. It feels like it should be someone else, anyone else. Not him. Not my dad.

The service is filled with family members from near and far, giving their condolences and sharing wonderful stories about the amazing man my father was.

I know my weird headspace will keep me from remembering much from this day, but I will never forget the eulogy Renee wrote for Charlie. She managed to get through it with so much grace, an amount of poise I could never possess.

Jess sits with me, holding my hand, plying each of us with tissues. I cry harder than I've let myself when the slideshow starts playing Charlie's favorite song, Harvest Moon. Seeing his entire life play out on screen is too much. From birth to awkward teenage years, to his first date with my mom, their wedding, him at the beach with a toddler Bella on his shoulders. He was such a wonderful and sincere husband, father, friend, and his missing presence in our lives will not go unnoticed.

When the last words are spoken and it's time to leave, I follow my mom back down the aisle, keeping my tear-stained face down. It's only by chance that I look up and see him, in the farthest corner of the community center. Copper hair, sharp jaw, shaved face. His eyes are piercing, never leaving mine.

Startled, I stop in place, causing Jess to bump into me.

"Bell," she says, pushing me along. "It's okay, come on."

Ignoring her, I keep my eyes on Edward, pointing toward the exit, hoping he'll meet me outside.

"Edward's here," I whisper to Jess, who's still guiding me along.

Now she stops. "What? Where?"

"Over there."

She scans the crowd but doesn't spot him, not as in tune with him as I am. We shuffle outside and I wait impatiently for Edward. Before he makes it out, I'm stopped a couple times by people who want to offer their words of comfort. Edward lingers nearby, and I give him a look, one that conveys I'll be a minute. That doesn't keep me from stealing glances his way, taking in his attire as I listen to Billy, Charlie's first boss, speak highly of my father.

Edward's wearing a stark white button down, navy slacks that fit to a T, and tan leather dress shoes. His face is still shaved, just the way I left him. It makes my heart beat out of my chest, having him so close without being able to go to him.

After I thank Billy, I stride across the sidewalk, beelining toward Edward, careful not to get caught up in conversation again.

Without a single word, we fall into an embrace. My body molds against his, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck. His grip around my waist is tight, comforting. I feel calmer than I have since I left him. It's overwhelming how his mere presence levels me out.

"What are you doing here?" I mumble against his skin, pulling back to see him, but just enough so we're still touching.

"I'm here for you."

"How'd you know the funeral was today?"

"Google."

"You were already in town?"

"Yeah. I got here the day after you. I was trying to give you space."

"Where are you staying?"

"With a friend. He has a Sprinter van that I'm gonna buy from him."

"Where'd you get those clothes?"

"A store," he quips. "Can I kiss you now or do you have anymore questions?"

With my heels on, he doesn't have to dip his head as low for our lips to meet. We stay connected for a second, warm mouths pressed together, lips parting just a bit. Our kiss is chaste, too quick for my liking, but appropriate for being surrounded by my family.

"Thank you for being here," I murmur, looking up at him. "Seriously. It means a lot to me."

The smallest smile plays on his lips, and the way his emerald gaze burns into me lets me know he wouldn't have had it any other way. And he won't say I told you so, because he's not that type of person. He lets me figure things out in my own time, never pushing or forcing. I love that about him, I love him, and having him with me in the midst of this mess is the only thing that makes sense.

Jess makes her way over to us, and she and Edward introduce each other, immediately hitting it off. Jess thanks him for not letting me drown since I'm not the best swimmer. Edward grins and in turn, thanks her for encouraging me to go. It wouldn't have been the same without her, he speaks sincerely, squeezing my hand.

XXX

Almost everyone heads to my mom's house after the service, to attend the reception.

I keep expecting it to be strange that Edward's here, but that feeling never materializes. He mingles with my mom, compliments my grandma. My uncles bond with him over surfing and are intrigued by his way of life. As I watch my two worlds collide, I'm taken aback by how seamless he fits into my life. And despite the devastating circumstances, my heart feels so full having all of the people I love in one room.

At one point I'm brought back to reality as my mom tells me Charlie would've loved Edward. She means well, it's her way of saying everyone approves. Hearing this is bittersweet, though, my emotions getting the best of me. It hurts knowing that Charlie will never get to meet Edward. He'll never know the amazing man I'm falling for, so damn hard, in every way possible.

XXX

An hour into the reception, Liam walks in. I spot him right away, watching him linger awkwardly by the front door. I didn't see him at the funeral, but Jess told me he was there. I was glad that I was able to avoid him earlier, but there's not really an opportunity to ignore him now. Especially now that he's seen me.

I quickly scan the area for Edward but don't see him nearby. And then Liam is walking toward me, wearing a suit a size too big and a sad smile.

"Hey, you." He goes to hug me, full frontal, and it gets awkward as I lean in for a side hug.

"Ah. Sorry," I say as we pull apart. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course. Charlie was a great man."

I offer a small smile, staring down into my wine glass, trying to avoid meeting his eyes. "He really, really was."

We're quiet for a beat too long, until I'm forced to look at him.

"How are you doing otherwise?"

"Other than dealing with all of this… good."

"Good," he echoes. "Did you get my emails?"

"Yeah. I know you wanted to talk but… I don't know what the point is."

His face falls flat. "Really?"

"Really."

"So is that the guy?" Liam asks, and I follow his gaze over to Edward, who's standing across the room, angled toward us.

"That's the guy," I confirm, fully aware that he must've Googled him.

Edward's in conversation with one of my aunts, but must feel my eyes because he looks past my cousin, meeting my gaze. He offers a small smile, eyes cutting to Liam for a split second before diving back into whatever he was saying.

"He seems cool," Liam retorts. "I'm not sure I'd be okay with you talking to an ex."

"Edward's not like that."

"Like what?"

You, I want to say, but that'd be petty and I'm trying to be the bigger person here.

"Look. I really appreciate you coming, Liam. I just hope it was for Charlie… and not for me."

His laugh is humorless. "Of course it was for you, Bella. I just didn't think you'd bring a date to your father's funeral."

"That's not…" I start to say, then stop myself. "I really don't owe you an explanation," I fume. "We're no longer together because of you… so don't try to make me feel guilty."

"Because of me? You kicked me out!"

With his raised voice, we catch the attention of a few people nearby. Edward's focus is on us now, too, and I give Liam a look to chill out.

"You broke up with me," I remind him quietly, so utterly confused why he always wants to play the blame game. I'm good, I've moved on. I don't need this, especially not the day of Charlie's fucking funeral.

"You don't think people make mistakes?" he asks a little softer now, I assume rhetorically. "I fucked up."

"I'm aware, and I can't say I'm mad about that anymore. If it weren't for you cheating on me, we'd still be together. And I honestly believe we're better apart. You should, too."

It sounds like he starts to deny the cheating allegation, but thankfully doesn't bother. "So we're over for good. That's it?"

I shrug, not feeling an ounce of sadness. "That's been it since April, Liam. And I don't appreciate you coming here and doing this, today of all days. I'm going through enough right now, I don't need this on my plate too."

Searching my face must give him absolutely nothing because he nods, defeat taking over.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Like I said, I'm appreciative that you came to pay your respects to Charlie… but I think you should go now."

He leans forward, like he's going to hug or kiss me, then decides against it before saying a quick goodbye to my mom and leaving.

Jess rushes over to me, and I down the rest of my wine, only to be handed another full glass from her.

"Brutal, girl," she sighs. "Freaking brutal."

I take a breath. "Yeah, so that wasn't fun. Or necessary."

Jess shakes her head in agreement. "Only a fuckwod comes crawling back once you've moved on. And at your father's funeral, no less."

Nodding, I divert my attention to Edward. I could stand here for the next half hour shit-talking Liam and giving her a play-by-play, or I could thank Edward for being there for me by saving him from my second cousin, who is blatantly flirting with him.

Choosing the latter, I thank Jess for the wine then stride across the room.

"I need to steal this guy for a minute," I say, linking my arm with Edward's, quickly walking us out the front door.

"Where's the fire?" he asks once we're alone, making himself comfortable on the porch swing.

"Just needed some air. I feel like I haven't really had a minute with you since we got here."

The sky's white-gray, warm for December. Supposedly in a couple of days there's a cold front blowing in, which will hit just in time for Christmas.

I place my wine on the railing of the deck, then move to sit in his lap, kicking off my heels. He slowly rocks us back and forth, the wooden swing creaking with each movement. Conversation from inside the house travels outside, and we sit in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes.

"Did I tell you how damn handsome you look today?" I wonder, playfully tugging at his collar.

He licks his lips, running a hand through his once-styled hair. "Remind me again?"

With a quick kiss I say, "It's true. You clean up really fucking well. But it's not the Edward I'm used to. That Edward is also very attractive… and charming… in a different way."

"Which one do you prefer?" he chuckles, unbuttoning his shirt a little.

"Can't I have both?"

"You can have whatever you want," he replies. "So who was that guy?" His tone is innocent, not an ounce of jealousy.

"That was Liam… my ex."

He doesn't seem surprised. "Nice of him to come."

I raise my brows. "I don't know about all that."

"Is everything okay?"

"Not great but I think we're finally on the same page. Takes a while sometimes. Break-ups are… messy."

"You're good though?"

I kiss my way from his scruffy cheek to his lips. "Good enough. Speaking of checking in, are you good? You're not totally overwhelmed by how much my family is obsessed with you?"

He merely shrugs, chuckling lightly. "It's not so bad. They're all really nice."

I playfully roll my eyes, wrapping an arm around the back of his neck, fingers playing with his hair. "I forget you're used to everyone loving you."

"Everyone?"

"Yes."

A calculated smirk plays on his lips. "Present company included?"

My cheeks burn, but I don't bother denying his claim. "Way to call me out."

"We had to address it at some point," he teases, patting the side of my thigh before keeping his warm hand on my skin.

"Oh, did we?"

"Yeah." Breathing out a laugh, he kisses me deeply, and for a moment time slows. "You were blushing," he murmurs, my eyes still closed. "I wasn't trying to embarrass you."

I open my eyes, shaking my head. "What's embarrassing is how long I've tried to deny the way I feel for you. I'm just worried about the timing right now, with everything—"

"Fuck timing," he says easily, his candor downright attractive.

"Fuck timing?" I echo, lips pressing together into a small, intrigued smile.

"Yeah. Fuck it, Bella. There's never going to be a right time for us. There's always going to be something: a job, a new adventure... a death. That doesn't mean we should put our relationship on hold every time though."

"I don't want to put us on hold. That's literally the last thing I want."

"Then what do you want?" he asks straight up, searching my face.

"I want to be with you," I admit, heart racing, inspired by his honesty. "I want to completely be with you, and not meet up here and there every few months. And back in Jaco," I recall, not bothering to overthink what I'm saying, "when you said you didn't want to influence any of my decisions… what if I want you to? I want you to take me into consideration when you're making future plans… and I'll do the same for you. I just need to know that you want me and not some version of me that you've imagined."

His brows pull together slightly. "Of course I want you. Have I not made that clear?"

"You have. But long-distance rarely works. I'm not interested in that."

"I think it can work to an extent," he disagrees. "But I'm not saying I want that, either. I enjoy having you around. When I said I didn't want to influence you, I meant that I needed you to come to this conclusion on your own. I'm not the guy to tell you to stay. Of course I want that… but I would never force that idea onto you."

I stare at the buttons on his shirt, and he brings a hand up to my chin, tilting my face up a bit so our eyes meet again.

"You fit into my life, Bella. You always have. Don't you see that?"

His green eyes are so full of love, and his heartfelt words make my chest swell with emotion.

"I do see," I confess, tears brimming my eyes. "I do. I tried picturing you in my life before, and it felt wrong. But I think that's because it's your life I was supposed to imagine myself in. I mean, don't get me wrong… you fit in here, with my family, pretty fucking well." He chuckles at this. "But you're adaptable. That's what you're good at. That doesn't mean you belong, though. You could never live here… in a house with four walls, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence. It's not you. And I don't want it to be you."

"What do you imagine when you picture my life, with you in it?"

"It's all over the place. I don't… know," I admit, faltering.

He thinks for a minute. "Back on the boat, when you were talking about not wanting to have your photo taken, you said there was less pressure when you don't know."

"I said that?"

He nods. "Do you think that mentality could work for us, too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Our lives would be up in the air. You'd never quite know what to expect. But I think that's good for you. I think you put too much pressure on yourself to get it right all the time. And that's not living. That's just existing."

I take his words to heart, realizing what he's saying. If I can't imagine exactly what our life would be like together, that's okay. Because it doesn't mean it wouldn't be amazing and messy and perfect. It would just be new to me… unknown. The one constant that I know he can guarantee is that we'd be together. And really, what more do I need?

"Do you want to live, Bella?

"I do."

His thumb brushes gently over my cheek. "Well then? What are you gonna do about it?"

I stare at this man, who's opened up so many doors and provided me with new concepts the last couple of months. Maybe even years, I just wasn't paying close enough attention. But I don't want to be that oblivious person anymore, floating through life. I don't want to be consumed by the hurt of my past relationship, or by my father's death. I don't want to let the pain of those moments dictate my life.

Things really do happen for a reason. I'm fully aware that everything in my life, up to this point, has led me here, to this porch swing with this wonderful, open, sincere man. Nothing's come easy, but in this moment, with Edward, nothing feels easier.

So I go with my gut.

"Is there room for me in that van of yours?" I ask boldly.

"Definitely," he replies confidently, eyes shining. "It's gonna need a lot of work, though. You ready for the challenge?"

Leaning in, I find his lips, making a promise with my kiss before whispering, "More than ready."

Theeeeeee Enddddddd. Thank y'all SO much for reading about these folks. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with these two, and will try my hardest to write an epilogue of sorts... but only if it feels right. I ain't gonna force it. :)

Huge thanks to Patrizia for encouraging me to write and sticking with my crazy ass. Who knew I'd finally complete this after a 3 year hiatus LOL