Bleach: Ichigo X Tatsuki
Chapter 1

Ichigo stood silently in the street where Rukia had just faded before his eyes only a few weeks before, as he lost his powers. He reached up with his free hand and scratched his rough face, his short facial hair like sandpaper against his hand. He felt the slightly chilly breeze against his skin as he stood in only his t-shirt and blue jeans, his hand in his pocket. He closed his eye and laughed, softly, to himself.

"I just wanted to be normal," he thought as he looked up at the sky above him. "Now that I am, all that I want is to be something more. How pathetic of me."

As he stood lost in his own thoughts, he felt the uneasy sensation of being watched. He broke from his trance and began to look around for the source of his uneasiness. He felt the prying eyes boring into him, but, for the life of him, he couldn't find the source. As he looked around one more time, he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Tatsuki in a jacket and heavier pants walking up to him. He saw the look of recognition on her face as she approached him and he turned his back to her, standing silently where he was.

"Hey," she said, softly, stopping next to him and looking at him. "What are you doing out here without a jacket or something? You'll catch a cold, ya dumbass."

"Nothing," he said, coldly, closing his eyes and turning away from her. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," she scoffed, turning her back to him and crossing her arms. "But Orihime would be upset if you were to get sick and she'd worry about you. So, if not for your own sake, then for hers, go get something warm on."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, annoyed as he waved his hand at her, dismissively over his shoulder. "Just go home or something. What are you even doing around this side of town, anyway? The dojo's nowhere near here and you don't live this way either, nor does anyone I've seen you hang out with, so there's no real reason for you to be out this way."

"Can't a girl just go for a damned walk without people wanting to know her life story?" she said, her anger boiling up as she clenched her fists. "Besides, how do you know none of my friends live around here? You don't know all of my friends, clearly."

Ichigo rolled his eyes before turning and walking back towards his house.

"Alright," he said, resigning the fight, before he left. "Have a good walk or whatever. I'm going home."

With a wave over his shoulder, he continued back to his house, the uneasy sensation of being watched long forgotten due to his conversation with Tatsuki.

As he walked away, Tatsuki turned her back and began walking, again. As she continued she made a circle around the block and was now headed back the way she'd come, just on the other side of the block. She watched the river flowing by, walking back to her house, all the way across town. As she walked alongside the river, she felt the memories of years ago flooding through her mind:

********BLEACH*********

Tatsuki Arisawa had just finished sparring with the pathetic little wimpy strawberry and was so proud she'd beaten him, throwing her hands in the air in her victory. She watched as the boy cried aloud, before, suddenly, his mother walked in the door and he was done crying and grinning like an idiot and running into her arms within seconds. She smiled her beautiful smile at her son and checked to make sure he was alright before taking his hand and waving goodbye to the dojo as they began walking out.

As she realized now might be her only chance to ask, Tatsuki ran over to Ichigo and grabbed him by the coat, holding on so he couldn't leave.

"Hey Tatsuki," he said with a smile. "What's up?"

"It's just," she said, not sure whether she really wanted to admit he was her only friend here and not sure she really wanted to invite him, but she knew it was true. "Well... Would you come over to my birthday party next week?"

"Sure," he said with an even bigger smile, which seemed impossible to her.

Tatsuki smiled back at him, surprise causing her to give out an excited yelp as she hugged him and he laughed after the initial "Oof!" he gave out as she wrapped him up.

She suddenly couldn't wait until her birthday. She had invited her best friend over and her parents had tons of cool things ready for them to do. She didn't care that he was the only friend she'd have over, because he was the only friend she needed.

The next week seemed to her like it couldn't go by fast enough, but it flew by in reality. As the day neared, she heard weather reports saying that there was to be a large rainstorm on her birthday and all she could hope was that the weather would not deter her best friend from showing up. She was still ecstatically waiting for her birthday and, when she woke up and looked out the window, even the depressing rainstorm couldn't extinguish her excitement. She helped her mother clean the house for their guest and helped make lunch for when he was supposed to arrive and she even laid out her favorite toys and games for him to be impressed by when he got there.

The day pressed on and on, slowly ticking by the hours as she eagerly watched the door for any sign of her friend's arrival. She even ran to the window anytime people drove near enough to her house for her to think it might be him.

As it got late and dinner time swung around, she resolved that he must not be coming and, sadly, put away all of her things and went to her room, not going to the kitchen for her cake or birthday dinner, but sitting in her room, holding her legs tight to her chest as she began to cry. She heard the telephone ringing in the den and her mother pick it up. After a few moments of inaudible conversation, she heard her mother put the phone back on the receiver and knock on her door.

"Go away," she said between sobs. "I don't want to see anyone, right now."

"Sweetie, there's something I need to tell you about Ichigo," her mother said in a soft tone.

Tatsuki stood and unlocked her door, wiping her eyes as a small bit of light entered the room from the hallway.

"I don't care about him," Tatsuki said as she sniffled and tried to regulate her breathing. "He's not my friend. I hate him! I never want to see him again!"

"Tatsuki," her mother said, gently, as she picked her daughter up in her arms. "Masaki and Ichigo were found on the riverbank..."

Tatsuki's eyes widened as she realized what her mother was telling her. Fresh tears began to well and she could barely hold in the sobs as her mother held her closer.

"Ichigo's...?" she couldn't even bring herself to think it, much less say it.

"No," her mother answered. "He's not dead. His mother, however, was not so fortunate. The police don't know who or what killed her but she was dead lying defensively over Ichigo. All I ask is that you find it in your heart to understand and help him through this difficult time of his life."

Tatsuki looked up at her mother and sobbed a yes to her as she continued crying, not for herself any longer, but for her friend.

********BLEACH************

Tatsuki stood beside the river bank she'd seen him sitting at, all alone, so many times. She'd never been able to find the courage to go up to him and ask him how he was doing but so many nights she found him standing on that bank, searching for her and so many times she'd seen him curled up on the ground in the exact place where his mother had died protecting him, sobbing softly.

In the months following his mother's demise, Ichigo changed, and she noticed. He stopped going to karate training and would wander the streets alone all day, sometimes getting caught by lowlifes that would tease him for his hair color. His temper had gotten shorter and he began to get into fights with these kids, often getting his ass handed to him and walking home with more bruises and cuts each time.

As the years pressed on, his demeanor became colder and colder, his attitude just as shady as the thugs he beat up for being dishonorable pieces of shit just like he appeared to be. Tatsuki had always seen through it but had known, all this time, to let him have his space as he desired. Through middle school, she saw him getting in so many fights and she swore he just did it just for the hell of it. Every time she saw him as they crossed paths, and he was covered in bruises and cuts, she couldn't help but feel the pang of sadness and a desire to protect him.

After seeing him with a broken shoulder from one of his fights in their first year of middle school, she walked up to him and asked him what had happened but he coldly turned away from her, telling her it was nothing and proceeding on his way.

From that day on, she forced herself to work hard to keep from worrying about him. She had to be just as cold to him as he was to her so he would realize what a great friend he'd lost with his attitude.

More years passed of her forcing herself not to care about him and him being a lowlife scrapper, and, eventually, their ties had almost been completely severed. She'd ceased to care about him and his constant fighting and his injuries, and she had her own life with her own, new, best friend.

The problem was, this best friend, while having lost her brother and being new to the school, had developed a huge crush on Ichigo and Tatsuki couldn't help but be annoyed by her circumstances but, of course, despite that, Orihime was still her best friend and she couldn't let that change just because she was angry with the strawberry for all of his years of coldness towards her when all she wanted to do was help him.

They transitioned through middle school and into high school and, in their first year, something changed with Ichigo. Numerous times he'd begun to act funny and she'd noticed his many absences, along with the absences of her friend and a couple of the other students.

And now, after nearly two and a half year of high school, they were here. She'd learned of his entire life as a shinigami and had seen him stand up to the most powerful man she'd ever seen.

And she found, throughout that time where he and her friends disappeared often and for long periods of time, that her feelings of concern and sadness for her friend had never truly vanished, she'd just been suppressing them until she no longer felt them and now, they were there and they were stronger than ever.

She stared over the glimmering water of the river and sighed, deeply, as her thoughts rushed. She was sitting on the bench that overlooked the waters and, as she sighed, slightly sad at her thoughts and memories, she allowed her head to fall backwards and over the back of the bench. She opened her eyes and nearly had a heart attack as she found herself staring right at Ichigo.

"It's beautiful here," he said, nonchalantly. "Wouldn't you agree?" He cast his eyes on her.

"Um... Yeah.. I guess," she stuttered as she straightened on the bench and twiddled her thumbs, blushing slightly for some reason unknown to her. Ichigo took a seat next to her and stared at the water, still not in something warm, she noticed, annoyed.

"So what were you really doing around here?" he asked, not looking at her.

"Just going for a walk," she said, defensively. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

Ichigo nodded and continued looking out over the water silently. As she sat there, thinking about these past few years and months and how he hadn't told her anything, she began to feel enraged. She felt betrayed that he and her best friend couldn't even trust her enough to fill her in on what was going on. She felt hurt deeply that he would hide more from her and she found herself worrying about him, like she did after his mother died on her birthday.

"So," she said, trying to think of something to say.

"So..." he said, unsure of how to respond. "How's life been treating you?"

"Fine," she said, twiddling her thumbs some more. "And yours?" As soon as she said it she regretted it, knowing he'd lost his powers.

"Eh," he said, shrugging and still not meeting her gaze. "It's still going. Nothing really I can complain about. I made my choices consciously and now I'm paying the price for them."

"How?" she asked, honestly hurt that he would suggest that anything of what he was going through was fair. "What choices did you make that cost this much?!"

"Tatsuki-" he began.

"NO!" she screamed, standing up lightning fast, on the verge of tears. "That's bullshit and you know it! You don't deserve any of this!"

He turned and looked at her for the first time since the conversation began as she stood up.

"Tats," he said, soothingly. "Come here and sit down."

Tatsuki's fists were balled up so tight her knuckles were snow-white. Her body shook with her anger and sadness and she tried to hold back but found that she couldn't. Without thinking, she cocked back and punched him across the face.

"Ow!" he shouted, as the force knocked him to the ground where he clutched his face. "What the hell w-?"

Tatsuki's eyes watered and tears streamed down her face as she stood above him.

"Tatsuki..." he said, softly, standing up before her.

"No, Ichigo," she said, pushing him away so he couldn't console her. "It's not fair! And you're never going to be upset about it so someone has to be upset for you. All you can do is be the tough guy who has to carry all the world's burdens on his shoulders. God forbid you actually let your own feelings and emotions matter sometimes!"

He watched her screaming at him and shaking with anger and sadness as the tears streamed down her face and he cast his eyes down.

"I'm sorry," he said, turning his back to her yet again and beginning to walk back home.

"God damn it!" she screamed after him. "There you go again! You can't even show some simple fucking emotion or anything when I just clocked you in the jaw! For god's sake, Ichigo, just be upset about something! I mean, none of what you've been through or what you're going through is fair! Yet you just keep bearing it like it's your cross!"

"Because it is my cross," he said just loudly enough for her to hear. "I have chosen the life I lead and I made it what it is and myself what I am today. There's no going back, so there's no point in being upset over it."

"If you don't want to go back, that's fine," she said, still standing there, angrily shaking as the tears dried on her cheeks. "But just tell me why!"

Ichigo's brow furrowed as he was genuinely confused by her words now.

"Why what?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" she asked, her knees becoming weak as she stepped towards him, slowly closing the distance. "Why you ignored me after your mother died? I just wanted to help you through it. Why you lied to me about all those fights and the injuries you got from them, like that broken arm?"

"I didn't talk to anyone about any of that," he said, slightly annoyed.

"But you were my best friend before she died," Tatsuki said softly, staring at him with fresh tears streaming down her gentle features. "You could've talked to me, and you just didn't."

He could feel the hurt in her words and didn't know what to say so he stayed silent, his back to her as she continued approaching him.

"Why didn't you tell me when you became a shinigami?" she sobbed out. "Why didn't you fucking tell me where Orihime was when she disappeared? I blamed you and said so many awful things to you!"

"I didn't want you to get involved, so you wouldn't get hurt," he said softly.

Tatsuki finally reached him and collapsed to her knees behind him as she clung to the back of his shirt for support.

"I was so worried about you all this time," she said, softly, clinging to his shirt as she sobbed. "Didn't that matter to you at all?"

Ichigo's eyes widened slightly as he heard this. He turned to face her and knelt down before her and hugging her.

"I'm so truly sorry," he said, holding her head to his heart while he rested his chin on the top of her head and her eyes widened in shock. "I'm so so sorry. I never knew how much it hurt you. From now on, though, I'll always keep you in the loop. I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend."

Her eyes watered again, even heavier than before and she clung to him like her life depended on it. As they sat there, she felt the years of worry and sadness and pain flowing out through her tears and she now knew that he is truly, and always was, her best friend.