Chapter 12

The welcome mat on the front porch was covered in snowy boot prints after Daryl was finished stomping the big clods of ice and fluff off of his boots. His face and hands were red, because the heater in Carol's van had taken a nosedive, and he'd had to stop every few minutes to wipe the fog off the windows. He'd been driving for two hours, trying to follow the tracks from Merle's truck, but the snow was coming down so fast and heavy that it was covering the tracks up faster than Daryl could follow them. Eventually, the thought of Carol and the kids being alone started to nag at him until he had to turn around and get back.

When he finally arrived home, he found Sophia playing in the living room while Brody kept a watchful eye on her from the couch. He could smell something cooking in the kitchen, and his stomach growled. He followed his senses to the back to find Carol standing at the stove stirring something that was boiling on the stove. The bassinet was pushed over by the table, and Eli was sleeping soundly inside.

When he put her keys down on the table, she turned, face pink from the steam, eyes a little watery. She wiped the sweat from her brow and gave him a hopeful smile.

"Any luck?"

"Got about twenty miles out 'fore the snow covered the tracks. He could be anywhere."

"Oh, Daryl. I'm so sorry," she murmured, putting the spoon down on the counter. She stepped over, placing her hand against his cheek. "You're freezing. Come here by the stove and warm up." She tugged at his hand, and he followed her over, letting the heat from the rising steam warm his weary, freezing hands. She squeezed his fingers, helping him get the feeling back in them, and he watched her, watched the way concern creased her brow, the way she worried her bottom lip between her teeth, the way her eyes glittered with tears when she met his gaze again.

"He's just gone." His voice was gruff, cracking from the cold and the lump he'd been swallowing back since he'd found Merle's note. "He ain't comin' back."

"You don't know that."

"I know my brother. He puts his mind to somethin', he does it. If he wants to disappear…"

"Don't think like that," Carol urged, squeezing his hands.

"He wants to die."

"Hey. Hey, look at me," Carol urged, pressing her hands to either side of his face. Daryl met her gaze, and she stared straight into him, piercing his heart with those crystal blue eyes. "Your brother survived his wife and daughter dying. He survived cutting off his own hands. He's a long stronger than he thinks he is. If he wanted to die, he'd have found a way. He's hurting. He's grieving. He'll be back."

"How come you're so sure?"

"He's stubborn. Like you. He's gotta work things out," Carol offered. Then her gaze faltered. "Maybe this is all my fault."

"What makes ya say that?"

"The other morning," she said quietly. "Merle and I…talked. Things got a little heated. He upset me, and I made the suggestion that he just leave if he didn't like it here." Daryl snorted at that.

"You think somethin' like that is gonna make my brother leave? Hell no. Like you said, he's stubborn. He didn't leave 'cause of you. He left 'cause of me." He reached into his pocket, pulling out the paper he'd found on Daryl's bed. He passed it to Carol, keeping his gaze locked on her face as she read the few words scribbled there. Her brows rose, and she was breathless for a moment before looking up to meet his gaze again.

"Daryl…"

"Don't ya see? He had this. He had a family. He was a good dad. He was funny as hell, and that kid just had him wrapped around her little finger. He was an asshole, but he worshiped Andrea and Anna. They were his life, and he could find ways to make up for his mistakes when he made 'em. That was his life. For five years, it was him, Andrea and Anna, and I was Merle, you know? I was the guy on the outside lookin' in." He ran his hand over his face. "Shit, I shoulda seen it. I guess maybe I did, but I didn't think…fuck."

"Daryl?"

"He couldn't…he can't be around this right now, 'cause he knows. He knows, and it's killin' him."

"Daryl, what are you…"

"He knows I care about you," Daryl got out, watching as Carol took a step back in surprise. "He knows, and he couldn't watch it happen. Couldn't watch me make a family with you. The family like he used to have." He swallowed hard then, impressed that he hadn't passed out yet considering the fact that his head was spinning and his heart was hammering in his chest.

She had to take a moment. This wasn't a declaration of love. She knew that. She knew he was getting there, and in her heart, she knew she was, too. It was just sudden. Soon. But she also knew that in this world, a person had to keep the ones they loved close, and she knew she loved him. She knew that each time he looked at her, each time he spoke to her, each time he held her son and she could see the love he felt for such a tiny little life that he had no obligation to but loved purely because this child was a part of his life.

And she knew that soon, she could say with absolute certainty that she was in love with Daryl Dixon. It was just a little more than she could think

"Daryl, you…" She took a shaky breath. "You…are you sure?"

"I been sure," he said quietly. He searched her face, looking for a response, almost expecting her to run. This conversation was way beyond what he was comfortable with, but he'd started it, and he'd be damned if he didn't finish it. "M'sorry if this is too much."

"It's not…it's just…a lot to process." She stepped up to him again, bringing her hands up to his shoulders. "I don't want to be the reason you and your brother…I mean, he's all that's left of your family, and…"

"He ain't," Daryl said quietly. "He's family. Always will be. But so are you. The kids. But I ain't choosin'. I ain't lettin' go of you if this is…if this is what you want." He watched the tears fill her eyes again.

"It's what you want," she whispered.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I know it. I feel it." Carol's lower lip trembled, and she closed her eyes, willing the tears away before she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly, her breath warm against his skin as he wound his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

"I feel it, too," she whispered when she broke away. "I'm...I am…feeling it. I didn't expect this. I didn't. I thought Ed was…that that was it for me. And then you came along, and I was preparing myself for you to leave. For you to be gone. And I guess this is just…" He pulled her in again, kissing her softly, slowly, giving her a moment to gather her thoughts before he pulled away.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he promised.

"I'm glad," she smiled, warming as he looked at her in that way that made her heart pound harder and her breath quicken. She knew they had work to do, but she knew this was worth it. He was worth it. This family, their family was worth it. And Merle would be back, because in this world, people had to stick together, but they had to have room to fall apart, too.

The pot on the stove began to boil over, and Carol yelped in surprise as some hot water splashed onto her blouse.

"Shit," she muttered, when the baby began to cry.

"Hey, go on. I got this. Go sit down," he offered, taking the spoon from the counter and stirring the pot. Carol watched him for a moment, watched him bring the spoon to his lips to taste the concoction Carol had put together. When he nodded his approval, she chuckled and shook her head, moving over to pick Elijah up out of the bassinet.

She sat down and laid the baby against her chest, supporting his wobbly head as he rooted against her breast. She smiled a little and lifted her top, holding him close as he latched on and began to nurse. She patted his back and rocked him back and forth, sighing softly as she relaxed against the chair. Daryl turned then, watching her for a moment before she looked up to see his face.

"I don't want you to have any regrets," Carol said softly. "Believe me, I know a few things about regret. I regretted leaving Ed for years, but you know what? I wouldn't change this for the world." She looked down at her son. "I'll hate Ed forever for what he did to me, for what he tried to do when I told him I was pregnant." She shook her head. "But Merle's your brother, and he's welcome here. He's family."

Daryl turned back to the stove for a moment, turning the heat down before he placed the spoon back down on the counter. He turned then, walking over to Carol, standing behind her chair. She shivered as he put his hand on her shoulder and bent over, turning her face toward his. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and she smiled against his mouth when his fingers brushed over her collarbone. When he pulled back, he reached down and brushed his fingers tenderly over the back of Eli's head.

"Soon as the snow clears, I'll go lookin'," Daryl promised. "But I'm always comin' back home to you."

The End

Author's Note: If you'll notice, this is part of a series. More soon in the form of a new story! Stay tuned!