-1-

Ever since Maura had been returned back to her family and friends, she'd been having trouble sleeping and now, instead of Jane, she was the one waking up every night in a fit of terror and panic. She'd kept it to herself however, not wanting to add further stress to Jane, who'd slept on her couch every night since she'd been found.

Maura's life had been in danger before, but this time was different. She'd been violated in a most horrible way. She'd been stolen right from under Jane's nose; a plot so sinister and well thought out, it left Maura to wonder who had such an axe to grind with Jane.

This morning she'd awaken gasping for air. She'd felt like that madman had his hands wrapped around her neck, slowly squeezing the life out of her. She reached over and felt for Jane, but she wasn't there. She hadn't slept in the same bed with her since she was rescued. She couldn't understand why really, but Jane's excuse was that she wanted to make sure she was safe.

Safe? How could one ever be so safe again?

Maura slowly shook her head as she took a sip of her espresso.

"Are you okay?" Jane's soft voice spoke up, breaking the heart wrenching silence between them.

They'd been sitting there eating breakfast in silence. Angela had cooked it for them while they were still sleeping. Maura was the first one up, while Jane snoozed heavily on the couch. Maura knew that she herself was suffering from some type of post traumatic thoughts and feelings but she refused to let them get the best of her.

She was sleep deprived and angry. Angry because whoever it was that was working with her abductor was still out there, haunting them, and stealing their peaceful sleep.

"Yes I'm fine," she answered quickly and shoved a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth.

Jane got up from her seat and shrugged over to her side. "No you're not fine. You haven't spoken to me all morning." Jane's voice was soft and calming.

"I said I'm fine, Jane."

"Come on, Maur," Jane said as she touched her lightly on the arm, the simple contact sent chills racing up Maura's arm.

The sensation immediately reminding her of what she had been missing and what she had wanted from Jane in the days following her return, but Jane had refused to give to her. It was overwhelming, that sense of having found and then lost that special touch of Jane's. That touch that turned her insides into gelatin, and that touch that paralyzed her senses.

It was too overwhelming to remember that while she was held captive, thoughts of that touch and thoughts of the feel of Jane's lips against hers were what gave her courage to fight for her freedom. It was too overwhelming to feel Jane's soft hands on her now, knowing that Jane was for some reason holding back her love. And she couldn't comprehend why.

"Don't," Maura snapped as she jumped out of her seat and backed away from Jane, "Please… Just don't."

Maura was tired and she was sleepy. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked over at Angela who was looking at her oddly, and then she glanced over at Jane. She saw the hurt in her eyes immediately, but there was nothing she could do about it. It was already done.

"Maura?" Jane's husky voice croaked out, "What's wrong?"

Maura felt her heart rising into her throat. She couldn't bear the look in Jane's eyes and knowing that she was the reason that she felt pain at this moment. "Nothing is wrong, Jane."

Jane's mouth hung open as she stared at her. It had only been a few days since she'd been returned; four to be exact and Jane hadn't initiated sex not once. Maura was baffled as to why. Up until this point, they'd carried on their very private relationship without any hiccups.

They worked together flawlessly without letting anyone in on their secret love affair. When they had relationship arguments, they acted as if nothing was wrong at work, worked all day together and came home and fixed the problem. Their secret relationship worked for them…

But something was wrong. Something was very wrong. They stopped communicating their feelings when Maura got back. It was the complete opposite of how it Maura thought it was going to be. She wondered if Jane's distance was because of being mishandled and marked by the maniac. She wanted to know but her newfound fear prevented her from breaching the subject.

Maura lowered her head and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry… I'm just," she looked up at Jane and her hazel eyes drooped with fatigue. "I didn't sleep well last night." She said as she started off towards her bedroom.

She needed to get away from them both before she burst into tears. Her therapist would probably like to hear how she handled this with some of the coping methods she'd taught her. But Maura didn't want to practice breathing, she didn't want to meditate, and she definitely didn't want to journal. She just wanted to make love to Jane, slowly and passionately. That's all that she wanted; the comfort of feeling Jane's body next to hers and her lips caressing her skin as soft music played in the background. That's how they did it, almost every night. Slow and soulful lovemaking set to the tune of soft instrumental music. It was a communal moment for their hearts and their bodies; something they both needed every night.

As she passed by Jane, Jane caught her arm softly and peered into her eyes. Maura knew that she was searching deep for an answer behind her behavior. She wasn't going to try and hide it. She needed her girlfriend, now more than ever. She needed the intimacy as much as she needed air to breathe.

"Baby, what is it?" Jane whispered, her eyes pleaded with her to open up.

Maura's eyes gazed down at Jane's lips momentarily before returning to her eyes. If Jane didn't understand that, she didn't know what else she could do to make her understand how much she needed her.

She understood that her abduction had messed Jane up completely, but she was back now and they needed to keep living, not in fear, but in the same warm love they had before this all happened.

Maura glanced over at Angela who was watching them out of the corner of her eye and sighed.

"I need you," she said in a hushed whisper.

Jane looked over at her mother, who turned her back and started cleaning the countertops to give them some privacy.

"What are you talking about? I'm here." Jane said.

"Jane, stop pretending as if you don't know what I'm talking about it. Why haven't you even tried since I got back?"

Jane sighed heavily. Yes, she knew exactly what she was talking about. She pulled her closer to where their bodies were inches apart. "Please, not now," she motioned her head towards her mother.

"Then when?" Maura challenged her to carry on the conversation. "Tonight when we are in bed together? Oh that's right, we don't sleep together anymore."

Jane felt her mother's eyes on them. She didn't even bother turning to see. She clenched her jaw tightly together and softened her grip on her tortured Maura.

"I'm sorry, Maur… I just want to make sure no one comes in. Don't you understand?"

Maura nodded. "Of course I do, but if someone wants to come in, they'll come in regardless if you are sleeping on the couch or in my arms."

Jane sigh heavily again and squeezed Maura's arm as she pulled her closer until she was embracing her. Jane placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're right, I know."

"I need you in bed with me tonight…" Maura's voice caught in her throat. "Please…Jane."

Jane pulled her in for a tight hug, "God, Maur, I'm so sorry… I will I promise." She kissed her again on the forehead and then on the cheek and then softly on the lips. She didn't care of Angela was standing there. She had to have known anyway. She was the only one who was always around Jane and Maura and she probably witnessed many secret interchanges between the two.

Jane disengaged and let her go. Maura touched her lips with her trembling fingers. After a few moments, she pulled her fingers away and nodded slowly.

"I'm really tired."

"I know," she said turning her towards the stairs, "Go back to bed. I'll check on you a little later."

Maura just sighed and left her standing there, disappearing upstairs a few moments later. Jane continued to stand there watching, debating whether to follow her upstairs and lay with her. Everything in her body told her to follow her. But what if she went and slipped into bed with Maura and it would leave the front door vulnerable to an intruder…

"Go to her, Jane." Angela's soft voice called her out of her thoughts.

Jane's eyes fluttered quickly while her brain tried to comprehend her mother's command. "What?"

"She needs you right now, Janie."

Jane felt her heart rising into her throat. She just nodded briskly, biting down on her lip and fighting back her tears. "She needs me to protect her." Jane's body began to tremble as a battle began to be fought out inside of her. A battle between her desire to stay downstairs and protect her girlfriend and her need of being intimately close to her.

She brought her hands up and strummed her fingers through her hair. Her eyes were glued to the staircase.

"She needs you to be there," Angela said pointing towards the stairs, "Not here."

It was then that Jane looked in the direction of her mother. Tears glistened the wells of her eyes, "How long have you known?"

Angela shrugged, "I can see it in her eyes." She said walking over to Jane and touching her softly on her arm, "And the love is there in your eyes too."

"Oh, Ma…" Jane was touched deeply, "I love her so much."

"I know," Angela said nodding, "These people who stole her from us…" she sighed, "and from you… they tried to break you, they tried to break her, but they did not succeed! Do you know why?"

Jane swiped a tear out of her eye, "Why?"

"Because together, you girls are unbreakable."

Jane nodded.

"What is preventing you from going to her right now?"

"Fear…"

"Of what?"

Jane looked off towards the front door, "Fear that he'll catch me sleeping again and this time Maura may not be so lucky."

"I understand… But Maura surviving, Jane, that wasn't luck baby."

"What was it?"

"It was love." Angela said nodding, allowing the silence to drive the point home. "Love brought that beautiful girl home to her family, Jane. Not luck… Love."

Her words landed heavy on Jane's heart. She knew her mother was right and she knew that fear was the wedge that was driving them apart. And she couldn't afford to let that happen.

She inhaled deeply and nodded. "Okay…" she said softly patting her mother's arm, "Thank you."

"Anytime, Janie."

"No, I really mean it, Ma… You're so understanding of Maura and I's relationship."

Angela smiled. "No one has a right to step in between you and the one you love. The only time they can is when you allow them to. Don't let them."

Jane smiled and pulled away from her mother. "You're so right about that." She said as she made her way to the staircase. As she placed her foot on the first step, she fought the overwhelming fear of leaving the front door unguarded.

Protecting Maura was important. But what was more important was the fact that Maura needed her to be close to her right now, holding her close, and loving her the way that she enjoyed. Their life had been temporarily turned upside, violated by a maniac who felt that he had a right to abduct Maura, strike beautiful face and slice off her gorgeous locks.

Thinking about it drove Jane nearly insane. That man's filthy hands caused Maura so much pain and Jane let it happen. Or that's what Jane thought. She slipped, and Maura got hurt.

Jane pushed the door opened slowly and peered inside. Her thin body lay quietly in the bed, her arm draped over Jane's pillow, as she pulled it in close to her body. The closer Jane stepped to the bed, the more she came to the realization just how much she loved this beautiful being laying in front of her.

"Maura," Jane whispered softly.

Maura didn't respond right away. But after a couple of moments, Jane saw her reach up and swipe at her eyes, followed by a light sniffle.

Jane climbed into the bed and slowly scooted next to her. She put her arm around her and pulled her in to her body, placing a soft kiss on the side of her tear soaked face.

"I'm here, baby… I'm here." She whispered.

Maura reached back and cupped Jane's head, holding her there while she kissed her softly.

"Thank you…"

Jane sighed and embraced her tightly. "You're welcome."

As she lay there with Maura, she couldn't help but to feel the same desire she had always felt for her. But this time, it was different. It was stronger than before, deeper and more intense. As she pulled her closer, she knew that the time of waiting was over. She needed Maura as much as she needed her. She loved this woman more than anything alive and she was so happy to have her back in her arms.

And she was about to prove it to her…

Note: Thanks for reading!