Eyes Wide Open

by Lady of Spain

Chapter 1: Ready to Rumble

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

My body began to vibrate uncontrollably. I was about to go super nova; my anger poised on the brink of explosion. Here I was anticipating tearing the heads off some filthy leeches, and the prime subject for my fav beheading was right in front of my face. I heard every damn word he said, and he knew it! Bella stood back away from me, her cheeks rosy as a sunset, but for how long? Sparky had pulled her out of the danger zone, well aware of my frame of mind.

I stormed off the mountain, mulling over every freakin' thing the big twinkie had to say. My pack and I were putting our lives on the line to protect her, and she had betrayed me. How could she? Bella was about to throw her life away, and for what—a steel-like chassis with no viable fluids? I wanted to pull my hair out. There was no more time, I had done all I could do, and now she was going to become Mrs. Leech, my mortal enemy. Then it hit me, I could play dirty too. She wouldn't want me dead, and I could plant that little seed in her brain. That would shake her up for sure.

I sped back up the mountainside. Bella was looking over the edge, no doubt to see if I would come back. Well, I did, but this time with a plan in place. We faced each other, and I delivered my speech.

"I guess I don't havta be asking you to choose anymore. So maybe it'd be best, if I took myself outta the picture. All I'd havta do, is let down my guard for a second, and let nature take its course. Bingo—no more Jacob to send you thru a guilt trip every time you look at me."

The color drained from her face. "Wha … what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you'd be better off if I was dead."

I heard the intake of air, then she sputtered, "Jacob, no. Please, don't do that."

"Why not? You made your choice. You don't need me hanging around, reminding you of what could've been."

"You're my best friend, Jacob. I don't want to live without you."

"Okay, then, give me a good reason to stay alive."

"Um …"

"Yeah, I thought so."

I pretended to turn away when she rushed forward, and grabbed my arm. "Please … um … okay … will you kiss me? And then, you have to come back, all in one piece."

"You want me to kiss you? Why?"

Her eyes were serious, and I couldn't look away as she confessed, "Because I love you, stupid."

That tied it up neatly. I pulled her to me, and lightly brushed my lips against hers ... once … twice. Bella started to come alive, and before I could yell wolf, she had her fingers pulling at my hair roots, her mouth on fire, following me at every turn. My toes were beginning to curl, and my breath getting ragged. I drew her in tighter, reveling in her response, my arms traveling about her shoulders, waist, hips. I wondered what she was thinking. What I was thinking was another matter, and I almost laughed at what Eddie boy was picking up from my head. Served him right for trespassing where he wasn't welcome.

When we finally came up for air, Bella glanced up at me in awe. I could go now and do battle with the lousy ticks. My mission here was finished, and the expression on her face confirmed it.

# # # # #

Oh my gosh. What had I done? Right in front of Edward too. What he must think of me. I was engaged to him, and yet making out with a half-naked wolf boy. What was wrong with me? I disgracefully admitted to myself that his kiss put Edward's to shame. I didn't want it to end, and the vision I had of our life together made me greedy for it. I wanted Edward, but I wanted Jacob too. What was I going to do?

Edward was privy to our encounter; I could barely look at him.

I sat in the tent across from my fiancée waiting for a lecture. Instead of what I deserved, I got an understanding man who never raised his voice once. "You love him, Bella. That much is certain."

How could he remain so calm? I practically kissed Jacob's face off. "I know, but I love you more."

"Are you positive about that?"

"Yes."

# # # # #

We made mincemeat out of those freakin' bloodsuckers, but Victoria wasn't one of them. The pack and I high-tailed it to the summit, at the urging of the mystic pixie, and I learned not to bet against her premonitions. She and the rest of the Cullens stayed behind to enjoy their barbecue. All at once, I heard Seth's thoughts, and sure enough, the redhead and her boy-toy were at it. She was desperately trying to sink her choppers into my girl. No chance of that!

I led the way, and the chase was on. Edward had already dismembered the lady lunatic's friend, and Seth now jumped in front of Bella as we arrived, protecting her from the rabid vamp. She turned her head, hissing at us. Apparently, she didn't like the odds, gave up her goal, and scampered away right under our noses. The pack split up to better our chances at surrounding her, but it was no soap. At the end of the day, the redhead was still on our most wanted list. And Edward was second on mine.

Even after that awesome kiss on the mountain, Bella kept a hideous ring on her finger, and the sworn vow to her fiancée, alias, the filthy leech. The idiot was so concerned for her safety, that he bought her a vehicle built like a tank, a Guardian. How appropriate. The whole pack was rolling on the floor laughing the first time it was spotted. I didn't find it that funny, actually. It was just one more thing to rub in my face.

The game was over, and I had lost. Despair riddled my soul, and my heart was running on empty. For weeks I tried to be with her, despite the pain it caused me. Who knew how long it would be before she was no longer my Bella, but just another red-eyed tick? Every moment she was still human was a reason to celebrate.

I hadn't forgotten that the crazy redhead was on the loose either, and that was another reason why I felt it was best for her to visit the rez as much as possible. In the back of my mind though, was the thought that she couldn't be here for much longer. The bloodsucker's words echoed in my brain; a wedding was being planned, and I had to accept that fact.

# # # # #

The guilt ate at me, just like Jacob had foretold. His face would light up whenever I came to the house, and his eyes would darken as I left. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't live without Edward, or so I thought. Each day in question was another awkward visit. The easy banter was missing, and the conversations between us were peppered with strained words and stretches of silence.

I couldn't stand it another minute. Looking down at the dirty cement floor of the Taj, I had to say something to break the ice. "I wish it didn't have to be this way. You're still my best friend, Jake."

He lifted his head from under the hood of his Rabbit. "Your best friend? Then, I have a question for you. Do you always have to ask permission from your jail keeper to come and see your friend? That's bordering on an abusive relationship, Bells. No, not even bordering—out and out abusive."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth, but don't take my word for it. Ask any of your other friends. Or, won't he allow you to see them either?"

I wiggled on the carton I was seated on. His statements were making me uncomfortable. "Can we change the subject?"

"Sure, sure. Let's talk about how I haveta practically beg you to call or come over."

I pointed at him in irritation. "You know, this is a two way street. You can always come to MY house."

"To do what? Watch you and the leech all snuggled and cozy on the living room couch? No thanks."

"That is so unfair."

"Yeah, it is. It's bad enough that I lost you, but that's only half of it. I havta play nice, while you decide to throw away your humanity, and become one of them."

"I think I'd better go."

"No … please. I'm sorry, but it's just … Oh, never mind. I promise not to mention the elephant in the room anymore, okay?"

He sighed, long and loud. "Can you pass me the socket wrench?"

# # # # #

Edward was pleased to see me as usual, even though he wasn't expecting me this early. We sat on the new bed he'd bought just for me, and talked. "I don't understand why you're so jealous of Jacob. I said I would marry you, for Pete's sake. Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't believe we're having this discussion. It's not jealousy exactly, it's the fact that being with him is unsafe."

"Oh, honestly, I just want to see him without you pouting, or for once complaining it's not safe. He's had every opportunity to tear my throat out with his canines. If he hasn't done it yet, then he never will. But, you know, maybe he's right, this restriction on going to La Push is bordering on abuse."

"Abuse? Did that mutt put that idea in your head? He's in love with you, Bella. Haven't you heard the expression, All's fair in love and war? He's in love, and he'll do or say anything to win the battle."

"Don't you think I know that?"

Edward was worriedly raking his fingers through his bronze tresses. It dawned on me what his main concern was.

"Oh my gosh, you're still envisioning that kiss on the mountain, aren't you?"

"It isn't something I can easily dismiss, love."

My arms were flapping above my head in agitation. "It's never going to happen again. I swear. So, from now on, I'm going to La Push whenever I like, and you are not stopping me."

He bowed in defeat. "All right. I won't stop you. But remember to be on your guard when you're around him."

"Don't worry, I will."

"Now about the invitations; Alice said she can order them next week."

With the air cleared with Edward, I became more relaxed when I was with my Jacob.

While I was driving back from La Push one night. I kept hearing the wolves howling, and saw glimpses of fur through the trees. Then I noticed a blurry image in my rear view mirror. A flash of red caught my eye. I heard the howls louder now in the nearby forest, and fear crept up my spine like icy fingers. My instincts told me they were after her … Victoria. The vehicle cocooned about me was no match for the super human. I floored the accelerator, but she kept pace with me. Soon she had sped past, and taunted, standing in the middle of the road, her ruby eyes challenging. I swerved around to avoid hitting her, when she leapt forward and with a mighty shove, my car smashed through the guardrail, plunging down the steep incline, tumbling in a dead-fall. My last thoughts were, I'm sorry, Edward, Jake, Charlie. I'm so sorry. Then the screaming in my head stopped, and everything fell silent.

# # # # #

The pack was pounding the ground, probably on the tail of some nomad. I had the night off thankfully, and spent it with Bella. There was little time left to see her pink cheeked and hear her heart pitter-pattering in her chest. I didn't know what she said to her warden, but it seemed like he had let her leash out a bit longer.

Hours after she left, the phone rang, and Dad picked up. I overheard the whole conversation with Charlie, and flew outta my chair. I was in my car and on the road to Forks. Bella was in the hospital, and not expected to live.