But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep

you got your peace now, but what about me?

I thought we had the time, had our lives,

now you never get older, older.

Didn't say goodbye , now I'm frozen in time,

getting colder, colder.

One last word, one last moment, to ask you why

you left me here behind.

You said you'd grow old with me.

Grow old with me

It all starts at Ric's wedding. What should have been the happiest day of his life, suddenly turns into the worst day of his life, when Kai shows up and crashes the wedding. Alaric's beautiful bride dies in his arms, before even completing her vows, taking their unborn children with her. Mayhem ensues, as Kai wreaks havoc - explosions, shattering glass, horrified screams. In the middle of it all Damon finds Elena, the love of his life, but the light has left her eyes forever. Around them the Gemini-coven is dying, but Damon and Alaric only have eyes for the women in their arms. Lost forever.

Most of the night is a blur for both of them. There's nothing but terror, panic and blood. And pain. Unbelievable pain. Alaric puts Jo's body in the trunk of his car, unwilling to let someone else take her away. Tries to shoot Kai, without success. Kai is untouchable. A heretic now. A vampire-witch, with unlimited power. In that moment the teacher just wants to end it all, but when he puts the pistol to his own head he's out of bullets. Ironic.

Damon takes Elena to hospital, although he knows it's too late. The doctor looks at him sadly and tells him what he already knows. She's gone. The impact of the fall broke her neck. She was dead the second her body hit the floor. They take her down to the morgue and he ends up sitting next to her still form until the sun rises and a new day begins. The first day without her. It's a thought too painful for words.

The paper brings an article about a tragic explosion at the wedding. Of course it does. The whole Gemini-coven died. A lot of deaths have to be explained. It's Caroline who takes care of it, with a little help from Stefan and Enzo. They compel all the officials - the police, the doctors, the news reporters who are snooping around. Gas leak - tragic accident. She learned it all from her mother. Covering up supernatural murders. Liz was a pro and so is her daughter.

Kai no longer poses a threat. Tyler had bitten him, after turning into a werewolf again. But it's not the bite that kills him, it's Lily Salvatore. Devastated at finding out that he tricked her, that he left her beloved heretic family in the prison-world to die when said world ceased to exist with his death, his turning, she literally rips off his head. One problem less. Yet nobody cares.

The funerals are a quiet affair. They all want it that way. Alaric sheds tears, Damon simply stares. Afterwards they all go to the boarding house to get drunk and remember. Caroline cries the whole time. So does Bonnie, which is kind of disturbing. She's the strong one after all. Her tears make it real. Make it true. Alaric can't stand watching it, so he ventures out into the back yard. He's not surprised to find Damon already there, with a pain in his eyes that is mirrored in Ric's own.

For a while they drink in silence. "I will always wonder if I could've saved her. If I hadn't been so stupid. Do you think vampire blood would have saved her?" Damon asks after a while. Alaric shakes his head. "Her neck was broken. Nothing could have saved her." He's not even sure why he knows this. Someone must've told him. Bonnie, probably. She had talked to him at the morgue. He's surprised that he listened. "Why didn't you try?" he still wonders. Because Damon should have tried. "I couldn't." is the cryptic answer and when nothing follows the teacher finally looks up. It's a shock to see tears welling up in those blue eyes.

"I made my decision and I stuck with it. We were late for the wedding, remember? We had sex and I ... I drank her blood." Damon confesses. It takes a moment before it clicks. When it does, Alaric is shocked. "You took the cure." Damon just nods. He looks small and scared and so young. So human all of a sudden. Ric wonders why he hadn't noticed.

A shocked gasp alerts them to Stefan's presence and Ric realizes that the younger Salvatore hadn't known. That Damon had told no-one yet. There are tears in Stefan's eyes when he hugs his brother. After that they are dragged back inside, where everyone learns the shocking news. "You can't stay here. You have to go into hiding." It's plain to see that it pains Stefan to say these words, but he's right. Mystic Falls isn't safe and Damon is human now, fragile. With the cure running through his veins he's an easy target.

The next day Damon packs his things. He doesn't want to leave. But he also doesn't want to stay. Doesn't want to think, breathe, whatever... He wants to turn back time. Never go to that wedding. Never take the cure. But it's too late now. He should've gone with instinct. Stayed a vampire. But no, love-sick fool that he was he had chosen this. Stefan had warned him. He hadn't listened. His own fault. All his fault.

Bonnie shows up, looking concerned and sympathetic and he doesn't know if he wants to punch her or curl up in her arms and cry, so he does neither. She hands him a pendant and a bracelet and starts explaining the complicated charms she has worked into both. "No witch will be able to locate you, while you wear either item. It should also conceal the cure from any vampire you might encounter by chance." He just nods and thanks her and slips the pendant around his neck, the bracelet over his wrist. It fits and even looks okay. Bonnie knows him.

Stefan is next, handing him the papers he might need - drivers license, ID, background details. His new identity. Damon Forbes - very funny. Damon kinda wants to punch him, but he can't even muster a real glare. Too much effort. He feels numb, somehow. "Where will you go?" Stefan asks and there are tears in his eyes Damon pretends not to see. "San Francisco. I bought an apartment there. And a bar." Everything Elena had wanted for their future. An apartment with a hospital nearby and his bar within walking distance. A bank account with enough cash to last them a lifetime, in case they got tired of work. He doesn't want to do this alone, but where else would he go? So he tells Stefan the address, not sure if his brother will even want to find him. Not sure if he wants him to.

They all gather to bid him goodbye - even Lockwood and little Gilbert. Caroline cries again. Stefan sheds tears as well, hugs him like he never wants to let go. When he turns to his car, Alaric finally shows up, carrying two bags. "I'm coming with you." he declares. "There's nothing left here for me." Nothing but memories he'd rather forget. The decision was made on a whim, but it's the best he can do. He can't stay here, where everything reminds him of Jo and where the kids will look at him with pity in their eyes. At least Damon understands. He lost everything as well.

Damon nods so they get into the car and drive. They don't speak. There's nothing to say. Alaric doesn't comment when Damon drives too fast, like he always does. Still used to being undead and nearly invincible. He can't be that reckless anymore. He will have to learn that. When a police officer stops them, he tries automatically to compel the guy. Only Alaric's calm intervention saves them from spending the night in a prison cell. Still there's a hefty fee and Damon drives slower afterwards, quietly complaining that being human sucks. Complaining even louder when he realizes that he gets tired more easily now. They take turns driving and stop at motels along the road before it gets dark.

San Francisco welcomes them with sunshine, which somehow seems inappropriate. The apartment is beautiful. Big, with tasteful furniture and all the creature comforts one might need, including an improbably large bathtub and a flat screen. There are three bedrooms and when Damon whispers that he meant to turn one or two of them into nurseries, Alaric feels tears pricking his eyes. Neither of them will ever be a father now. They don't say it, but both know it.

They settle into their new life slowly. There's a high school a few blocks away, but Alaric doesn't even apply for a job. That's his old life. The one he left behind for good. Instead he ends up managing the bar with Damon. For a while that's all they do. They manage the bar, sit around at home, eat take-away and get drunk. The apartment is a mess, empty pizza cartons and beer bottles strewn everywhere, but neither cares.

Damon has a hard time adjusting to his new life. He complains about being slow and tiring easily. He gets angry when he's unable to lift something heavy or hear what some guys a few feet away are discussing, always convinced they know who he is and are there to kill him. To suck the cure out of his blood. He picks fights, because he's irritable and snarky and not used to losing. Not used to getting hurt. He comes home sporting a bruise, a split lip or a black eye more than once. Alaric patiently applies first aid, refrains from commenting and tries to have Damon's back.

Alaric isn't sure when the changes start. One evening they start talking. They're drunk. They always are, these days. Damon's still getting used to the fact that he has a much lower tolerance now. They pour their souls out to each other and they both cry. In the end they pass out on the couch together, but despite the hangover they both feel better in the morning. They're starting to heal, even if they don't know it yet.

The next day Alaric goes grocery shopping for the first time since they moved in, while Damon starts cleaning the apartment. Little steps, but at least they're moving again, instead of just watching the world pass them by. Damon is shocked when he realizes that he gained weight (just a little, but still...) and he scowls when Alaric laughs at him. He starts to go running in the mornings and takes up weight lifting, surprised that he actually enjoys it. He makes Ric join him and it's even more fun together. Ric discovers that the high school is also offering cooking courses in the evenings and he books a course for himself and Damon, who complains at first, but goes anyways. When they're not getting into food-fights like twelve-year-olds their teacher is quite impressed with them and they soon start creating outrages recipes at home.

It's been maybe five months when Bonnie comes to visit. The apartment is clean, the bar is running well and they're both sober when they greet her. Bonnie looks surprised and relieved at that and then doubtful when they cook a three course dinner for her. After dessert she looks impressed and comments on how Damon could barely make edible pancakes not so long ago. He just shrugs and tells her he was a different man then. And he was. He has changed. Alaric only realizes this when the witch points it out to him. She tells them a little about Mystic Falls. Stefan is now officially dating Caroline. He has also made up with Lily, who tries her best to be the mother he deserves. Damon is glad that his baby brother is happy. That someone will be there for him when he is gone. He's also glad that he isn't alone either.

"I'm glad you're here. Don't think I could've managed without you." he admits one night. It's a couple of weeks after Bonnie's visit and they're sitting on the couch, sipping their first glasses of bourbon that day. They're trying to brace themselves now. Damon gets drunk way too easily these days and Ric pointed out that they should probably give their poor livers some rest. He mostly buys healthy food nowadays. That and those cookies Damon is so fond of. And of course his favorite ice cream.

"I'm glad I'm here as well." Alaric answers and neither knows how these confessions lead to them kissing, but it feels good, so they just go with it. Neither of them has had sex in over six months. Neither could bear to even look at a woman. But the physical comfort is missed. They end up in Damon's bedroom and despite the fact that Ric hasn't done this since before he met Isobel (a lifetime ago it seems) he hasn't forgotten anything. He realizes that he missed this, the feeling of hard muscles beneath his hands, instead of soft curves. And Damon is gorgeous and all too willing beneath him, although he does complain about aching the next morning.

From then on their relationship changes. They don't question it. Too many nights spent alone and lonely, thinking of a woman long dead, have left them hungry for anothers touch. They went through all of this together. Maybe it's the logic next step. Maybe it was always meant to end like this. They manage the bar, they cook and work out and go to clubs or watch movies. They laugh together and actually have fun, without feeling guilty for it. Jo and Elena would have wanted them to be happy. They fight and make up again and they even meet new people and make friends. And when the new neighbors believe they're a gay couple they just grin, but neither man corrects them.

It takes Stefan and Lily two years to work up the courage to come by for a visit. The others have all been here already. Caroline and Jeremy, even Tyler and Matt. Bonnie drops by every few months. Damon is distant with Lily, but accepts her apologies eventually. Stefan stares at him, trying to see if he looks older already. Lily assures that he's aging well. Damon claims that he'll still be hot as fuck in 20 years. Alaric agrees with a grin, before bending down to kiss him. It's a familiar gesture by now and they don't think anything by doing it. Stefan looks surprised, but not shocked, indicating that Bonnie has warned him. Damon and Alaric don't label what they are. They just do what feels right.

Stefan visits regularly from then on, bringing Caroline with him, sometimes Lily, although Damon still doesn't get along too well with her. The invitation for Damon and Ric to visit them in Mystic Falls stands. Bonnie has assured them that Damon is quite safe, thanks to her spells. But neither man feels ready for a return just yet. Maybe they will, in a few years. For now, San Francisco is their home and it's starting to feel like one as well.

"I love you." Alaric says one morning, waking up with Damon in his arms, feeling content. Feeling happy. Something he thought he would never experience again. "I know. I love you, too." Damon answers, grinning happily and they make out for long minutes, before getting up to take a shower together. Three years have gone by since that fateful night. Both still wear the scars on their hearts, left there by losing the women they loved. But they have healed and moved on. They have built a new life together.

The next time Stefan and Caroline come by for a visit they are engaged. Caroline shows off the beautiful diamond ring Stefan gave her and suggests that Damon and Ric should get married as well. They both tell her to mind her own business. Alaric has gotten married twice and both times it ended in chaos and heart-break. He will never go there again. Damon is fine with that. He doesn't need a ring on his finger to know that they belong together. But a week after Stefan and Caroline leave, he changes his last name to Saltzman. He never liked Forbes anyways. Alaric just grins when he finds out.