Sam awoke to the sound of quiet voices. She cracked her eyes slightly and the world slowly merged into focus, albeit sideways. Sam could make out the blue BDU-covered leg of someone sitting in a chair nearby, and the white clothing of medical personnel with their backs turned away from her in the distance.

Medical personnel.

Sam's eyes suddenly snapped open in memory as she immediately attempted to sit up.

"Whoa," said a familiar voice, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Easy Carter, you don't want to pop any of the Doc's handiwork."

"Colonel?" Sam's voice sounded hoarse and weak to her ears. Her mind raced with questions. In the background, Sam could hear the rapid tapping of heels as someone approached.

"You're back at the SGC," Jack explained, bending down slightly so Sam could see his face. Jack opened his mouth to say more, but a less familiar voice interrupted.

"How are you feeling, Captain?" Janet Frasier asked, as she pulled up a chair to make herself more visible to Sam.

"Crooked," Sam answered, with a small smile. Above Sam's line of sight, Jack gave Janet a smile. If Carter could joke, she must be feeling much better.

"We might be able to do something about that," Janet answered. "But first, are you up to answering a few questions?"

"I'll answer yours, if you answer mine," Sam replied, slurring the word 'answer' slightly.

"Ask away, Carter." Jack was just thrilled that Carter was awake and lucid enough to ask.

Sam licked her cracked lips before beginning and immediately a handful of ice chips in a small plastic cup appeared below her mouth. She opened her mouth thankfully as the ice was dropped in.

"Man, that's nice," Sam said happily, as the ice soothed her parched throat. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "Ice is nice." Sam smiled to herself, and then let out a three-note giggle. Jack's eyes crinkled in amusement as he covered his mouth in an attempt to keep his smile hidden.

Ah, Opiates.

Sam seemed to shake herself into focus, and concentrating hard, formulated her question. "What happened after we returned home through the gate?"

Jack frowned slightly at the question. Shouldn't she remember this part?

"It's perfectly normal for some of the details to still be fuzzy, Captain Carter," Janet began, seeing the confusion on both of the officers' faces.

"Sam," Sam interrupted. "I am Sam." She paused and smiled. "Sam I am!" It took all of Jack's self control not to laugh.

"And you're Doctor Frasier!" Sam smiled proudly, as if she had just solved the relativistic momentum paradox.

"That is me," Janet said, struggling not to laugh outright. She was used to dealing with various patient reactions to narcotics, but it had been a while since she had last had such a humorous one! Janet made a note in Sam's chart about her reaction, as well as a secondary notation to check dosage levels.

"I remember walking to Medical..." Sam continued, as she concentrated hard on her memories. She frowned. Everything seemed to be wrapped in cotton; nothing more came to her.

"I'm afraid there was a bit of a mishap when an orderly was helping you with your shirt," Janet began, feeling a fresh wave of guilt at the pain her team had accidentally put Sam through.

Sam continued to look puzzled. "Nope," she declared, smiling brightly. "I don't remember a thing!"

"Thank God for small favors," Jack muttered under his breath.

"I'm afraid you passed out shortly after that," Janet explained, filling in the blanks. There was no need for too much detail here.

"Can I sit up now?" Sam asked, sounding like a petulant child.

"It's not really a good idea..." Janet began.

"Please," Sam begged, opening her eyes extra wide in hopes of eliciting extra sympathy. In the back of her mind, Sam realized she was behaving more like a child than a U.S. Air Force Captain, but at the moment she didn't really care.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do," Janet said, "But first you need to answer a few questions for me, okay?"

"Okay," Sam said grumpily. She really hated this position, having never been much of a stomach sleeper. It was awkward looking up at people sideways.

"How's the pain?" Janet asked in a no-nonsense voice.

"No pain," Sam replied quickly.

"Oh, come on, Carter!" Jack said incredulously. "Do you have any idea how bad you looked a few hours ago?!" Janet shot Jack a death glare. It was not appropriate to share something like that with a patient. Sam looked guiltily at the Colonel.

"I don't exactly feel like I could run a marathon or anything, Sir," Sam said finally, "but compared to how I felt earlier, I really do feel okay." Sam could see this was not enough detail for either Colonel O'Neill or Dr. Frasier.

"Geeze. Tough crowd," Sam muttered. "On the pain scale, it's maybe a 2. I feel some distant discomfort, but it's foggy." Sam frowned, as if trying to figure something out. "What I feel, is heav'ly meti.." she fumbled over the wording.

"Heavily med-i-tate..." Sam crinkled her eyebrows in frustration.

"Stoned out of your gourd?" Jack suggested helpfully. Sam shot him an evil look.

"Don't knock the drugs, Carter." Jack only felt slightly hypocritical in pushing drugs on Sam. He personally hated that drugged up feeling opiates gave you. Still, Sam had been badly injured. She really needed the heavy stuff right now.

"Could you maybe turn it down a notch or something?" Sam asked.

"I think we could try that," Janet agreed, as she adjusted a dial on Sam's medication dispenser. Having had her most pressing questions answered, Janet shooed Jack out of the way as she pulled the curtain closed. Jack could hear the murmurs of the women and the sounds of an electronic bed being adjusted.

Jacks thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Size 11 shoes slapping across the concrete hallway.

"Jack!"

"Daniel," Jack said patiently, turning towards his teammate. He wasn't surprised to see Teal'c standing stoically behind Daniel. Naturally, the big man wasn't even breathing hard. "This is a medical facility," Jack chided. "Quiet voice, remember?" You'd think a geek who hung out in as many libraries as Daniel had would remember something like that.

"Sorry," Daniel apologized, looking slightly guilty. "Is it true? Is Sam awake?"

"Oh yeah," Jack said with a grin. "Awake and thoroughly stoned." Daniel looked at Jack in confusion, and mouthed a silent 'stoned' as if to confirm what Jack had just said.

"Oh yeah," Jack confirmed, nodding. "With luck, it's on video tape!" Now that Sam appeared to be out of the woods, he was moving on to the embarrassment part of recovery.

"What do stones have to do with Captain Carter?" Teal'c asked seriously. Before Jack could reply, the privacy curtain was pulled back.

"The move definitely removed a bit of her buzz," Janet explained as she motioned for the three men to come forward. "Only a few minutes," Janet ordered. The men of SG-1 nodded in agreement.

Sam was now positioned halfway between sitting and lying down. Her body was curved in a loose 'C' shape, with the majority of her weight resting on her right hip and a plethora of pillows and bedding surrounding her upper torso . A light blanket covered both back and front, making Sam look a little like a giant blonde marshmallow.

With eyes.

Still, Sam was quite grateful to be able to look at her teammates from a more vertical position. She raised her left arm slightly and waved.

"Hi." All three men smiled, with various degrees of relief and happiness.

Daniel was the first to move, immediately grabbing a chair and pulling it close to the bed.

"It's great to see you Sam," Daniel said earnestly. "How are you feeling?"

"Fuzzy," Sam admitted, "but not in any pain." That elicited a huge grin from Daniel.

"Carter here was sharing some of the finer lines from Dr. Seuss a few minutes ago," Jack added with a smile. Sam wanted to duck her head in embarrassment, but now that she was swathed in blankets, there wasn't really much she could do but blush.

"Is this Doctor Seuss a new addition to the SGC?"

"Er..." Daniel started.

"Dr. Seuss is a children's author, 'T," Jack clarified.

"Why would Captain Carter be quoting a children's author?" Teal'c asked with his usual seriousness.

"It goes with the 'stoned' comment I said earlier," Jack explained. He clapped Teal'c on the back. "I'll explain it all later." Teal'c tilted his head slightly to one side in agreement.

"Seriously Carter," Jack said, looking at his Captain critically. "You doing okay?"

Now that her head was slightly clearer, Sam began to really remember what had happened, and the guilt hit her like a 10-ton truck.

Unbidden, tears formed in her eyes.

"Carter, you in any pain?" Jack asked, worriedly. "You've got this nifty button right here..." Sam shook her head.

"Just remembering, sir," Sam said quietly. She looked at Colonel O'Neill apologetically. "I'm really sorry for screwing up the mission."

Jack was flabbergasted. Screwing up the mission?! There was no way Carter should feel any guilt whatsoever for the way he'd completely FUBAR'ed the operation. None.

"Not your fault, Captain," Jack said sharply. He then softened his voice and lightly squeezed Sam's hand. "Sam, this was not your screw up at all. It was mine." He held up a hand as both Daniel and Sam opened their mouths to object.

"It is neither of your faults," Jack said firmly, darting his eyes first to Sam and then Daniel.

"Sam, you were kidnapped, for crying out loud. And that should never have happened, as I never should have allowed you to stay by yourself." He pointed a finger sharply at his chest. "That's on me."

"And you," Jack continued, turning towards Daniel, "Just because you thought it would do no harm to have Carter play dress up is not cause for personal blame."

"None." The tone of his voice left little room for argument.

"But..." Sam began.

Jack interrupted with a meaningful finger wave and tongue clicking . "Nope. You Are Not To Blame." Raising his hand, Jack interrupted. "Uh-uh," he stated, waving his finger emphatically. "Nope. You Are Not To Blame ."

Seeing Sam slump in acknowledgement, Jack figured he had gotten his point across. "However," Jack continued. "As soon as you feel better, we will have some words about what happened after you returned to SG-1 and your lack of full disclosure." Sam felt a warm flush spread across her face. This, she definitely deserved.

"Yes, sir." Sam wanted to say more, but was unexpectedly sidetracked by a huge yawn. It did not go unnoticed.

"And on that cheerful note," Janet said, interrupting. "We need to let Captain Carter rest." The SG-1 men shuffled to one side as one of the nurses dimmed the lights.

"We'll be back, Carter," Jack said quietly, as he watched Sam's eyes slowly blink as she began to succumb to the pull of sleep. He could see the way her body was relaxing, and was about to turn away when Sam's eyes snapped open.

"Wait," Sam called quietly. Three sets of eyes turned to look at her.

Sam looked at each one of her teammates, making sure each understood what she needed to say.

"Thank you."

"Anytime Carter," Jack answered for the group. "Anytime."

/End

A/N - Wow. I just finished my first new story since 2007. Yeah! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I want to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read, review or email me. I reconnected with so many old friends! I had forgotten how much I sincerely loved this community, and it definitely does make me want to write more. So here's a question for the group - IF (and it is an if) I can find the time to continue writing, what would you like me to do? New Stargate SG-1 team stories? Continue with the Assistant series? Other..? I am open to suggestions!

A big thank you to Flatkatsi (go on, look up her awesome stories) for providing some beta love to this (and the last) chapter.

Lastly, here's a crazy coincidence worth sharing. Apparently, I just wrote the optimum story length for myself. The average of all my stories (according to FF) is 28,533 words. This one? (Before the notes) was 28,450. Crazy, right?