Journal of a Sith Warrior

Prologue

Day 0

I've done it! As I write this I am on my way to the Sith Academy on Korriban to complete my final trials! Boo-Yah! I get the feeling that this is the start of something great for me, that the destiny I've been waiting for my whole life is about to begin. That's why I've decided to start this journal, so that when I'm old and grey I can look back through it on my thoughts and feelings on the road to becoming a sith.

I've gotta go now. We've just dropped out of hyperspace and... is that music? I could swear I just heard the end of some kind of catchy song! But we're in space, sound doesn't travel in space!

What the hell just happened?!

Day 1

As first days go this one was rather mixed. It started off pretty good when I met a cool guy called Overseer Tremel, who gave me a very dramatic speech about: a) the Academy "weeding out the weak", b) some guy called Vem... Verm... Vermin? Was it Vermin? I think so. Anyway some guy called Vermin who's going to be trying to kill me, and c) an old armoury in the tomb of Sith Lord Paul (I'm not kidding. There was a Sith called Paul!). All in all it seems like Tremel believes I've got a pretty good shot at making it through my trials without being dismembered by one of the hundred types of bloodthirsty creatures about and becoming the apprentice of Lord Baras, so as you can imagine I was feeling pretty good about myself at the start.

Things got a little bit messy in old Paul's tomb however. For starters when Tremel said the tomb was thick with K'lor'slugs he meant it, there were literally thousands of them. Now luckily combat happens to be a specialty of mine, and as such carving a bloody path through the tomb towards my new warblade was fairly straight-forward enough. However when I say a bloody path I really bloody. By the time I got to the other end of the tomb I was literally covered head to toe in K'lor'slug blood-juice, I looked more like a wannabe tomato than a Sith. Things only got both worse and redder when I tripped over on my way to the Academy and rolled down half a hill of red dust. When I arrived at the academy the guards mistook me for a vengeful spirit that clearly used way too much blusher and promptly arrested me. It was not the best introduction to the Academy, and all the time I spent showering and hunting down a new pair of clothes took up all the time I'd gained charging through the tomb like a maniac, so I didn't get to impress Tremel with how early I was. It did not help that Tremel sat me down and told me that although he had said to spend some time bloodying my new weapon I had gone more than a little overboard, and if I wanted a future in the Sith order I had to learn to focus my enthusiasm into something a bit more "Productive."

So yeah, not the best first day.

There was a bright side though (Will I get in trouble for saying that? Sounds kind of like the Light side.) I met Vermin for the first time today. He was waiting with his friend outside Tremel's office, probably to say something to intimidate me. Luckily at the time I still looked like a vengeful dust monster, and instead of saying something smart all he could do was gape while his friend wet himself.

So yeah, not the worst first day either.

Day 2

Fun times at the Academy jails today (wow that's odd to say.) Tremel wanted to test my judgement skills, so sent me to decide the fate of three prisoners. The situation was already odd when I arrived as the jailer, a guy called Knash who sounds like he eats a bowl of gravel for breakfast every morning, was listening to a little blue Twi'lek as she told him what animal impressions she could do. I can only assume he is entertaining himself by making his prisoners pretend to be animals. Weird I know.

The first of my prisoners was an assassin who was apparently hired anonymously to kill an imperial spy. At first I thought of sending her to Imperial Intelligence, after all I'm sure they could use another assassin, but then I remembered that the whole reason she was here was because she failed her assassination so she clearly wasn't a very good assassin. So I chose trial by combat, and within three seconds she was dead and I needed to go hunting for another set of clothes.

*Note: Ask Tremel if there's some kind of Sith brand washing powder that's good for getting out blood stains. I can't afford to keep buying new clothes.

Next up was an ex-champion called Devotek. He begged me to give him a trial by combat, and since I've never been one to say no to a fight I agreed. For some inexplicable reason though the words that came out of my mouth were "I will grant your wish. A warrior should die with his boots on", which caused everyone alive in the room to look at me funny and prompted Knash to ask what the hell boots had to do with anything. When I explained that I had no idea and the words sort of popped into my head I got another round of funny looks. Luckily everyone quickly looked away soon after when I released Devotek and promptly beat him into a fine paste in about three seconds flat.

Finally there was a guy called Bregh who apparently forged some important documents, but there was no clear evidence that he did it. As he apparently maintained that he was innocent despite severe torture I decided to let him go. Apparently by doing so I have now won the record for setting the most people free in the Academy, as no one has ever done that before. Go me.

Turns out Tremel wasn't happy with me for any of my choices. After being scolded for an hour I was sent to my room without any dinner. I feel like a child.

*Note: Apparently it's the tomb of Ajunta Pall, not Ajunta Paul. Tremel appears to be doubting if bringing me to the Academy early was the right choice.

Day 3

Not a good day today. A strange rumour has started around the Academy about me and I have no idea why.

It all started with the discovery that apparently there is a Sith brand washing powder. Tremel told me I could get some from the supply room. So of I went to get some, and who should I bump into in the supply room but Vemrin. Notice how I put Vemrin, not Vermin? Well it turns out that that's actually his name. See as soon as he saw me he started giving me that speech he meant to give me on Day 1, but then I said his name as Vermin and he really mad. Turns out people on Balmorra nicknamed him Vermin and gave him a complex, so when I said it he completely flipped out. Now Academy students aren't allowed to murder each other so all he could do was shout at me, and I got mad because he wouldn't accept my apology and started shouting at him. This went on for a good half an hour until we eventually both ran out of steam and stormed off.

But that's not the bad part. See I didn't think about it at the time, but as I mentioned the supply room is a public place and during our shouting match no one else came in, which was suspicious. It turns out that everyone who wanted to go to the supply room stopped outside the door when they heard raised voices (because in an Academy full of bloodthirsty Sith walking into the middle of a shouting match is rarely a good idea.) Now the doors were quite thick, so only the really loud things we said could be heard clearly, and apparently some of those things held some kind of significance to the eavesdroppers that I do not understand.

Here is a list of some of the sentences I mean:

- "I'm going to take you from behind with my twelve inch warblade."

- "I'll pound you so hard you'll wish you were dead."

- "Hate's not going to be the only thing flowing through you in a minute."

I have no idea why but everyone is acting like those words, which are clearly violent threats, mean that Vemrin and I are secretly in love, but have to hide it for fear of our Overseers disapproving. Now Vemrin is actively staying well clear of me, Tremel is always looking at me as if I strangled his mother and the girls in the Academy are torn between looking despondent or squealing in strange delight whenever we are in the same room.

Korriban is weird.

Day 4

Today's challenge was to go to the tomb of Marka Ragnos, sit amongst the flames and wait for a beast. Though I can't say I mind parts 1 and 3, part 2 sounded a little excessive to me. I mean I know Tremel's still angry at me for the whole trials thing and the rumor but asking me to set myself on fire was a bit too much in my opinion. Fortunately Tremel explained that the second part was really just for dramatic effect, and he didn't really want me to cremate myself.

So I went to the tomb, sat down in the main chamber and waited until I heard the rumbling of a large animal coming closer. I looked up, and what I found was a massive, hulking beast with claws the size of speeders and teeth as sharp as vibroblades.

It was adorable!

With a bloodthirsty scream it charged at me, and in response I leaped into battle! The next few minutes were a whirl of blood, sweat and smiles and we fought to the death! It was my first proper challenge since arriving on this planet, and I loved every second of it. I had planned to capture it, call if Fluffy and make it my new pet however I must have gone overboard as the fight ended when it dropped down dead after a particularly hard punch to the head on my part. It was sad missing a chance to get a giant monster as a pet, but I'm sure I'll run into other giant monsters on my journey up the Sith hierarchy, and mark my words one of these days I'll make one my pet.

Oh yeah, I met Vermin's friend Dolgis on my way back. He's dead now.

Day 5

Remember Fluffy from yesterday. Well it turns out killing him sent a tremor through the force, and from that somehow Baras found out about my existence and demanded to see me. Tremel was all wound up about me presenting myself to him, but I assured him that I'd be fine and went to the meeting room. I'll admit that I was kind of nervous about meeting Baras at last, after all everyone spoke about him like he was a real big shot amongst the Sith. But when I arrived in the meeting room there was only one thought running through my mind.

Holy shit!

I can see why he felt the tremor, by the looks of him he probably causes quite a few tremors himself whenever he walks to the pie shop. I had not realized that Gamorreans were force sensitive but clearly I was mistaken, as unless that armor of his was designed to be excessively large around the waist that is the only thing he could possibly be under that mask. Believe me when I say Baras is big amongst the Sith both figuratively and literally.

So after a quick spat with Vemrin (which caused the other acolytes in the room to look at us knowingly as they left) Baras called me to him for a chat. It seemed like Baras wasn't very happy with how Tremel had rushed things getting me to advance, and found my lack of discipline and knowledge of the Sith philosophy offensive. Apparently my not knowing the Sith code, which is very important to the Sith and something Tremel had forgotten to tell me about, really did not give any points in my favour.

Luckily for me he blamed Tremel for this, and told me to kill him and bring back his hand. After a surprisingly quick and easy battle against Tremel I defeated my old overseer, however I didn't like the idea of killing him, after all it was thanks to him that I was even here right now. Instead I persuaded him to cut off his hand, which we could use to fool Baras. Though momentarily impressed by my cunning, Tremel wasn't exactly happy when I asked if he needed a hand leaving Korriban, or when I tried to high five him as he left.

At least Baras was pretty happy when I came back with Tremel's hand. So happy in fact that he decided to tell me the Sith code. I wasn't exactly paying attention at the time, but I think it went something like this:

"Fruit is a lie, there is only gravy.

Through gravy we gain pie.

Through pie we gain calories.

Through calories we gain weight.

Through weight our girdles are broken. The food shall set us free."

I feel as if this explains a lot about him.

*Note: He also gave me Tremel's kickass ring. I wonder what he's going to do with the rest of the hand?

Day 6

Went to the sparring club today. Bad move really, as it turns out Vemrin goes to it as well. As you can imagine the Overseer running it paired us up. I will admit that what they say about Vemrin being every bit my equal is true, our match was the most intense fight of my life, and eventually it ended in a draw.

However at some point in the match one of the other students took a picture of us, a picture that shows Vemrin pinning me down of the floor, the two of us covered in sweat and breathing heavily from exerting ourselves in combat. This picture has for some reason circulated the Academy very quickly and strengthened the strange rumour about us. I don't understand why though! What is it about us fighting that makes people think there's something between us.

I asked my new fellow apprentice Klemral why this was. He just called me a dense blockhead and walked off.

Rude.

*Note: Found some remaining K'lor'slug blood behind my ears in the shower. Remember to wash behind ears after a massacre.

Day 7

Today's task is to brave the tomb of Tulak Hord (who names these guys?) and bring Lord Baras back some ancient inscription shards. Simple enough right? The tombs were full of Tukat'a and Shyrak, and technically they still are, however by the time I left the tomb pretty much all of them were unmoving and bleeding all over the floor.

On the upside the Sith brand detergent works wonders. My clothes same out the washing machine looking good as new! It even washed the blood out of the white bits so they didn't look pink!

Anyway getting back on track. When I returned to Baras' office Klemral was waiting. Apparently he couldn't handle the Shyracks, and so had the genius idea of ambushing the guy who tied seven Hyrack together to use as a skipping rope and taking his shards, namely me. I can now confirm that the detergent washes out human blood just as easily as Shyrack blood. It's miracle stuff!

Day 8

Ha ha ha! Suck it Vemrin! Baras chose me, not him, to take the final trial to become his apprentice! So while I get to go to the tomb of Naga Sadow and nab myself a kickass lightsaber he has to wait in Baras' antichamber. Tomorrow I'm going down to the holding pens to pick up a Twi'lek that knows how to get into the tomb, and then I'm off to complete my trials!

Day 9

Well it took a lot of work, a lot of tears and a lot of dead bodies, but I've done it! I'm Baras' new apprentice! Booyah! Not to mention I've also got myself my own lightsaber and a free pass to Dromund Kaas, so goodbye crazy red dustball and hello city!

The day started when I swung by the holding cells to pick up the Twi'lek who could get me into the tomb, a sarcastic and pretty funny young woman called Vette. Though she was (understandably) upset about the whole being-a-slave thing Vette proved to be both good company and good at shooting things.

I think we're going to get along just fine.

So anyway from there we went straight to the tomb of Naga Sadow, fighting legions of acolytes along the way, and eventually arrived at the secret entrance to where the lightsaber was kept. As Vette got her bearings Vemrin, who it seems didn't take getting rejected by Baras too well, snuck up on me and tried to stab me. Fortunately for me the force gave me a warning, and Vemrin's attempt at a sneak attack was met with a boot to the face.

We took some time to big ourselves up, throw some insults at each other (you know, the usual stuff) and then with resounding battlecries leapt into combat. Our battle was legendary, Vemrin matched me blow for blow and came at me with everything he had, but after what felt like hours of fighting I pulled ahead by the skin of my teeth and stuck a final blow.

I have mixed feeling about that to be honest. On the one hand I really did hate the guy, and I'm glad I don't have to put up with him anymore. But on the other hand having a rival, someone truly on my level who could force me to do my best, pushed me to my limits and brought out the best in me. It was kind of sad to see him go really, maybe if things were different we could have continued our rivalry as Sith.

Anyway moving on. After stepping over the little bits of Vemrin all over the floor Vette did something to a statue and suddenly a 'secret' entrance slid open. How exactly a door can qualify as 'secret' when it's as big as a house and has stairs leading up to it is a mystery, but who am I to judge? Following the passage way for a few minutes we eventually arrived at Naga Sadow's coffin, and after kicking it open (which Vette told me was both disrespectful and highly unnecessary) I got myself my first lightsaber.

Maybe it was because I kicked the coffin open, but what I assume to be Naga Sadow's spirit clearly wasn't very happy about me making off with his lightsaber and sent some waves of purple energy into the stone statues in the room, which exploded to free strange warriors in black gimp suits that promptly started attacking me. As traps go that's got to be one of the weirdest. Luckily the gimp suit warriors were no match for me with a lightsaber, and were defeated pretty easily.

Proud of myself I returned to the Academy, where I found that although I had caused a stir it wasn't quite in the way I had intended to. It seems that Vemrin's disappearance caused many in the Academy to believe that we had decided to elope and run off into the outer rim to live in peace. Curiously enough a surprising amount of the other students appeared to hope this was true, and were rather disappointed to learn that Vemrin had infact taken up position as a doormat for the not-so-secret-anymore entrance.

Korriban is weird.

Baras however was thrilled to learn that I had completed his task, and made me his apprentice on the spot. I've got to say I'm really starting to like Baras, he may be a little on the strict side but he tolerates it when I poke a little fun at him and I feel like he really values me as an apprentice already. I can already tell that this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful master-student relationship.

Although he did say something about using the pain of my lost love to gain strength. God damn it!

Tomorrow I (and Vette, Baras said to do what I like with her and I'm really not sure what I should be doing) am going to Dromund Kaas. Baras didn't tell me what for, but I'm going to assume he's throwing a big welcome party to celebrate taking me as an apprentice. I can't wait!

Day 11

Stopped off at the Imperial fleet to change shuttles and get a drink. Vette asked me if I'd consider removing her collar, and then oddly enough acted surprised when I actually did. She seemed pretty happy, until for some reason I don't quite understand I felt compelled to ask her what she thought of us working together to take down the galaxy. I think I may have freaked her out a little bit.

Day 12

Public transport is awkward. The minute I stepped in the shuttle everyone suddenly shut up and looked very fidgety and afraid. I think my being a Sith now intimidated them. Anyway after about 10 minutes of sitting in the middle of fearful silence I found I couldn't stand it any longer and asked if anyone had vanquished any worthy foes lately.

Nobody replied. The silence turned awkward.

After the flight Vette told me that vanquishing worthy foes was not something normal people did, and therefore was unlikely to ever work in casual conversation. I feel like I should be taking notes.

Day 13

Arrived at Dromund Kaas! Unfortunately it turns out that there isn't a party waiting for me, which was pretty disappointing. Instead Baras told me about a large network of spies he has built up over the galaxy, and how it is my role as his enforcer to do battle with anyone who threatens that network. I'm touched, I really am! Baras really does appreciate my skills! I'm beginning to see that underneath that mask of his he really does care for me.

He has a mission for me as well. In a few days a prisoner with vital information will be arriving at the spaceport, and it's my job to get him to Baras to safely. I'm not going to fail! There's no way I'm going to let my new master down!

Day 16

I've done something today. Something I'll admit that I am not particularly proud of. I went to the spaceport the escort the prisoner, who was frozen in carbonite by the way, and everything seemed fine until trouble showed up in the form of two different groups of attackers.

Now I really didn't want to risk a shootout with so many enemies about, so I may have turned on the intimidation factor a little. Except by a little, I mean a lot. And by intimidation factor I mean I threatened to eat them.

Fortunately this worked, however perhaps I was a little too enthusiastic in my threat. The Imperials avoided going within six feet of me like the plague, and Vette seems to constantly make sure I'm not hungry now.

I don't think I'm ever going to live this down.

Day 20

Baras told me he felt a disturbance in the force.

I told him it was probably a bowel movement.

He didn't seem very happy.

After giving me the stink eye for a minute Baras explained that he has seen a vision of doom, of his entire power base being destroyed, and that the frozen man is a republic agent who holds the key to finding out why. While Baras is thawing out and torturing the republic agent (bit harsh) I need to go speak to Commander Pritch with a "seek and destroy task." Sounds like fun.

Day 22

Got a call from the Korriban Wildlife Association this morning. Apparently the sheer number of animals I killed has gravely damaged the ecology. Already a rapidly growing number of K'lor'slugs are feasting upon the trail of corpses I left in my wake, and without any Tukat'a or Shyrak to hunt them their numbers have already grown to the size of a small army. Experts fear that once the corpses I left them run out they will descend on the Academy in a bid to eat the students, and with their overwhelming advantage in numbers it might just spell the end of the Academy.

I'm taking the next shuttle back to thin their ranks. I told them to have lots of Sith detergent waiting for me.

Day 32

After many days of nonstop battle the K'lor'slug menace has been wiped out. I am caked in so much blood that everyone now mistakes me for a Sith Pureblood.

I am going to take a shower for the next two… no make that three, three days. Then I'm going back to Kaas city.

Day 36

I joined a Huttball game today! My team, the Frogdogs, won an overwhelming 59 to 1 victory and set an new intergalactic record.

This may be due to me brutally murdering the opposing team's players at the start, which apparently was a completely legal move. Gerada the Hutt did pay me quite a large sum of money to never play Huttball again though, so I guess I won't be making a career out of it after all.

Day 38

Found Baras on Spacebook today. I tried to add him, but he rejected my request.

The pain I feel inside will only make me stronger.

Day 40

Murdered a bunch of slave rebellion leaders who were blackmailing my master today. As we were carving a bloody path through the slaves the force notified me that Vette was looking at my butt. She always looks away before I can catch her in the act though, and I get the feeling bringing it up would make things super awkward.

It's a little uncomfortable having my butt stared at though. Not sure what I should do.

Day 41

Found a solution to the butt problem! One of the slaves was wearing a piece of caped Sith armour for some strange reason, so after beheading him I put the armour on, and now my butt is safely hidden behind my cape.

Vette seemed a little confused though. As I undressed my fallen foe in the middle of the battlefield she asked me what on earth I was doing. I calmly explained that all the clothes I have were taken from my dead opponents. She claimed I was a psychopath.

I think she's just grouchy that she can't see my butt anymore.

Day 45

Found the keys to Baras' personal speeder. Took it for a joyride. It's now wrapped around a tree.

I'm so dead when he finds out.

Day 48

Strange times at Gratham's house today. I was sent to kill Lord Gratham without letting anyone know, and while chopping though his army of droids and apprentices I bumped into his wife and son. We made a lovely little plan for me to kill Gratham and for his son to wear his mask and take his place, which I'm glad to say went off without a hitch.

The problem was that lady Gratham was acting weird the whole time. She kept on talking about how strong I was and how big my muscles were. I thought she wanted to fight me or something, but when I asked if that was so she looked really irritated and Vette started laughing her head off.

Things got even stranger on the way back. Vette was still laughing about the thing with Lady Gratham and asked me why I acted so clueless around women. When I assured her that I genuinely had no idea what she had been talking about Vette looked shocked and asked me if I knew what the "Birds and the Bees" was. I asked her if she was talking about the Felucian or Dantooinian Birdbee, and for some reason she started choking.

Day 49

Vette's acting weird again today. She asked me if I knew where babies come from, and so I reminded her that when two people love each other they write to the Emperor and ask him to send a stalk with a baby for them, and if they're especially loyal to the Empire he'll make that child force sensitive.

Vette went off to send a message to Baras about the "Birds and the Bees." I still do not know what Birdbees have to do with anything.

Day 50

Baras has summoned me to his office. By the sounds of it he's going to tell me the significance behind the Birdbees.

I can't wait!

Day 51

Ohmygodiamneverevereverleavingmyhouseagainthegalaxyisdisgusting

Day 52

Cried myself to sleep again tonight. I have lost the will to face the outside world ever again.

Day 53

Just realized what that whole rumor business with Vemrin was about. I am even more mortified than before.

Day 54

Vette finally managed to coax me out of my room. Was the sky always this dark?

I can't seem to look at any living being right now. Hopefully this will pass.

Day 59

Feeling pretty hurt today. Baras summoned me, and when we arrived he was having a lot of trouble with torturing his prisoner. Now Baras was clearly very angry, so I decided to play the good apprentice and not sass him, and when he let out a scream of anger I told him that I could feel his anger in a very Sithy way.

And then he rounds on me! Yells that a "blind, deaf, comatose lobotomy patient could feel my anger!" Honestly! The one time I act like a good, normal apprentice he shouts at me!

I'm going to cry myself to sleep again tonight. See if I ever act like a respectful apprentice again!

Day 61

Vette asked me how I hadn't heard about what... Bird's and Bee's... was before. I told her the incredibly tragic tale of betrayal, isolation and sorrow that was my childhood, which I feel no need to write about in this diary since it's for me to read and I know perfectly well what happened. After five hours Vette finally stopped crying and insisted on giving me something called a "Hug." It's like a bear hug, except the intention isn't to crush the targets bones into dust between your biceps, but just sort of... be there. It felt strange and uncomfortable, yet not altogether bad.

Maybe I should ask Baras for a hug.

Day 62

Asked Baras for a hug. He just stood completely still and stared at me until I left. I couldn't see what expression he had behind his mask, and I'm not sure I want to.

*Note: Found out what Baras did with Tremel's hand. He appears to have turned it into a back scratcher.

Day 64

Probably the weirdest day of my life so far. Master sent me to the Sith Temple to pick up a device called the ravager so he could get the knowledge he needs out of the republic agent he's been torturing for the past week. What he neglected to mention was that the temple was full to the brim with crazy people.

Now I don't mind the odd eccentricity, however watching two dozen people crawl about licking the floor like fleshy vacuum cleaners whilst proclaiming themselves to be Sith Lords was a little to weird for my tastes. If I ever have to go back into that temple again I'm wearing an alumifoil hat.

Vette's been rather quiet today. Other than that time she laughed maniacally whilst blasting someone with lightning she's barely said a word. I wonder if something's on her mind.

Day 65

Turns out Vette was possessed by the spirit of Sith Lord Faxus Prin the other day, but recovered this morning after what she claims was an intensely harrowing and mentally scaring battle within the deepest vestiges of her mind, but to me just looked like she took a power nap.

She said that I should have recognized her change in behavior. I replied that whilst possessed she was bloodthirsty, vicious and absolutely terrifying, just like she normally is, but just a little quieter. It was a joke, but I don't think she saw the funny side. I doubt I'll be forgiven for a while.

Day 68

Master discovered what I did to his speeder today. He decided some training was in order, so we played a game he calls "Lightning Tag."

Basically I run around the room while he shoots bolts of lightning at me. If he hits me with lightning he's still it and keeps shocking me until I stop moving. Fun game, we played 4 times.

I have also appeared to have lost the ability to count past seven today. I'm sure it's a coincidence.

Day 70

Road trip! The whole ravager thing worked out nicely and Baras found out that a long term enemy of his, Noman Kar, has a new padawan that can sense people's true selves. I'm off to Balmorra and Nar Shaddaa to protect master's spy network from being uncovered, then I'm going to Tatooine and Alderaan to find out more about this "Jaesa Willsaam."

And in order to get there Baras gave me this kickass ship to get around in! It's got missiles, a droid and a massive holoprojector so that when Baras calls he can loom over me menacingly. It's awesome! I tried to do a bit of decorating, make the place feel more homely you know, but Vette didn't feel comfortable with me flooding the floor in fake blood and hanging the stuffed heads of the many various creatures I've killed so far about the place. Well at least not everywhere, remember Fluffy from Korriban? Well he now vigilantly watches over my room from the end wall.

I feel like a new chapter in my journey is just beginning! I can't wait!