"You're not wearing a scarf to a formal event Ozpin, I don't care who invited us." Glynda's eyes narrowed dangerously at him from across the hotel room as she finished winding her loose hair up into a bun. She couldn't fathom why this was such a recurring problem, but his insistence on wearing inappropriate attire to fancy parties was beginning to grate at her nerves.

"It's just James' birthday," he protested, his scarf clutched in one hand and a tie in the other, "I hardly think he's going to mind-"

"I mind!" Glynda threw her hands in the air in exasperation, finally crossing the space between them and snatching both pieces of fabric from his hands. "You may not have realized, but we're in Atlas, not Vale- and everyone at this party isn't seeing my darling husband, they're seeing the headmaster of Beacon. You need to wear the tie."

Ozpin looked at her hand when she held it out to him again, chewing his lip nervously. He didn't take it from her grasp. Instead he looked back to her, a pleading look in his eyes that could only mean-

"I can't tie a tie," he finally blurted out, hands coming to anxiously run through his already tousled hair, "I have no idea how."

"You're kidding me." Her voice sounded far more flat than she had intended, but suddenly everything made sense. The fact that it was such a simple, stupid reason only served to further her exasperation, although she couldn't just threaten him into wearing one if he wouldn't even be able to put the damn thing on. "What about our wedding?"

"James tied it."

"Last year's graduation?"

"Oobleck, about five minutes before commencement started."

"Our anniversary?"

"That one was probably Qrow."

Glynda stared back at him for a few moments, stunned into silence. It had never occurred to her that the man she'd known for years had no clue how to do such a simple thing. Ozpin- the man who was constantly running a chess game in his mind of every move they made behind the scenes to protect the people- could not tie a tie. She sighed in resignation.

"Come here."

Glynda raised her eyebrows but said nothing else when he sheepishly stepped a little closer, tipping his head to allow her to slide the tie around the back of his collar. The silk slipped easily between her fingers as she pulled it under, back over and then up through the neck loop. If they weren't already pressed for time she'd probably have taken a moment to actually show him how to do it, but as it were they were running late. Another time.

She tightened the knot- ignoring the mock grimace Ozpin gave in response- and gently tugged him forward with the tie to kiss his cheek for good measure. His eyes crinkled in a soft smile as his hands came to rest against her waist.

"Please keep this on until we get back," she murmured, bumping her forehead to his before she released him, "After that I don't care what you do."

"I'll keep that in mind," he chuckled, grabbing his cane and keys and then pausing to offer her his elbow on his way towards the door, "Shall we get going?"