Author's Note: Wow, I feel like I haven't updated in ages. Luckily this one is a little longer. I've been on an unofficial hiatus sort of because of school, it's my final year so everything is getting serious now. This chapter was un-betaed just so you know. Anyway, enjoy :)

Panic fills her for a moment as she wakes to an empty bed, warmth still lingering in the sheets beside her as she reaches out. Heart pounding in her chest, she bolts up into a sitting position scanning her eyes over the room before the door off to the side slides back. A relieved breath escapes her as she realises he was just in the bathroom. She tries to calm her rapidly increasing heart rate but her efforts don't seem to be very effective. He gives her a small smile as he walks out before a frown knits his brow as he moves over to her.

"Hey," he says softly, holding his hand out to her as he sits himself on the bed just beside her legs. "It's ok, I'm here," he tells her as she takes his hand allowing him to pull her into his chest, providing a comforting warmth around her. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving you."

A deep shuddery breath runs through her as he rubs her back soothingly, resting his cheek against the top of her hair. After a moment, she feels slightly calmer with the harsh edge of panic within her now smoothed down a little. With just the sound of their breathing and Phil's steady heartbeat beneath her ear it seems almost deafening when her stomach rumbles reminding her that she hasn't eaten in awhile. The vibrations of Phil's chest travel through her as he lets out a chuckle.

"Shall I get us some food?" He asks running a hand through her hair gently.

Lifting her head up to look at him she contemplates his question. Her stomach is hungry and she knows she needs to eat, but she doesn't want Phil to go because that means that she will be left all alone and she doesn't think that she can cope with that just yet. It makes her feel a little stupid and she doesn't want to be needy and irritate him, but part of her just wants to be comforted and protected. Everything is just still so raw. Her stomach rumbles again and Phil squeezes his arm wrapped around her shoulder gently, silently prompting her for a response.

"Can I come with you?" She finally says in a quiet voice.

He is stunned for a moment, surprised by her request.

"Are you sure?" He asks her carefully.

The last thing he wants is for something terrible to happen to her and he'd blame himself if something happened that might trigger a terrible episode for her.

She nods the affirmative as she carefully twines her fingers with his, holding on to him like he is her anchor.

"Ok," he says simply trying not to make a big deal out of it for her.

Rising up from the bed with her hand still firmly wrapped up in his own, she follows his lead tugging on shoes and allows him to guide her to the door. Glancing back at her carefully, he then opens the door and they step into the hallway.

It's quiet, with similar rooms like hers set up along the corridor. Walking along together hand in hand, all that can be heard is the sound of their footsteps echoing on the hard floors, his heavier ones and her almost silent ones. They wind their way through the hallways and soon the relative quiet surrounding them gradually grows into the sounds of agents busily bustling around the base. He feels Melinda press closer into his side as they pass by a couple of agents who throw wide eyed and curious glances in their direction. Shooting them a stern look in response, they quickly avert their eyes attempting to look anywhere but at he and May.

"You ok?" He asks Melinda quietly, concern evident in his voice as he tilts his head to look at her.

With her head bowed down her hair drapes forward obscuring her face from view. Self consciously, she tugs at the edge of the sleeve on her left arm trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible.

"Melinda?" He asks waiting patiently for some sort of a response.

Nodding her head ever so slightly, he takes it as the only confirmation that he will likely be getting and continues to lead her towards the kitchen.

Her whole body stiffens beside him as a large group of agents dressed in black tactical suits approach them, many of them armed and staring at the both of them with shocked expressions. Once they pass he is dimly aware of the ache in his hand holding hers, now realising that her grip on him had tightened exponentially as the agents passed. Only now that she had released him was the blood able to return to his pale appendage, bringing with it a dull ache.

"We're fine," he confirms, reminding her that they are safe here, "I got you."

By the time they reach the kitchen he is pretty much sure that now every agent on the base is aware of May's presence and… the changes that she's undergone. He is relieved however - and he is sure that Melinda is too- to find the kitchen and common area empty.

"Any requests?" He asks her as he begins to look through the fridge and pantry to see what foods they have.

Melinda shrugs noncommittally, unsure of what the choices are as she slips onto one of the stools by the counter.

"Alrighty then," Phil carries on unphased by her silence as he makes an effort to try and make her feels as comfortable as possible, "I hope you feel like pancakes."

He turns to her with a grin which she responds to with a small shy smile of her own. Strangely, it doesn't feel weird for her to be watching him make pancakes and to smile back at him when he grins at her in that endearing, adorable way of his. Considering what she's been doing for the last few months, eating pancakes is not what she would have expected of today. Crossing off a wanted target, sabotaging an enemy's plans, those are things she might have expected. Pancakes? No. It's nice though she thinks, because despite what she might've been doing before and even what she might've been doing before that, right now her life is her own. She doesn't have a handler screaming Russian words at her. She doesn't have some crazed scientist running electricity through her body. She doesn't have to kill. She doesn't have to do anything. She can just be.

A tear slips down her cheek as Phil slides a pancake on a plate across the counter to her. It's like the dam of her emotions, the walls surrounding her have shattered and now everything is hitting her all at once. Why Phil sliding her a pancake triggers it is beyond her, but now that the seal is broken the flood can't be stopped. It's the first time that she's realised that she is her own person under her own control and the thought is breathtaking. In some ways she feels overwhelmed, almost as if it may all be a lie, but another part of her is screaming, crying, mourning the fact that she had even lost her free will at all. A deep roiling rage surges up within her and she wants to make those bastards pay for what they did to her. They broke her, ruined her. They took from her the very essence of who she was, they stripped her of her identity, her humanity. She so desperately wants to make them pay even though she knows that it won't bring back all that they stole from her. They deserve it.

A sob escapes her and Phil is by her side in a moment, wiping the tears from her cheeks and tucking her protectively into his chest, surrounding her with his reassuring warmth as she cries a wet patch into his shoulder not for the first time today. She's not used to being so emotional, but it feels good to just cry it all out, all her pain and anger, fear and sadness. It's all the emotions that she could not express before, finally spilling free and providing her with some sort of heart wrenching yet oddly cathartic emotional release. It's a beneficial hurt. The pain before the healing.

"Let it out," Phil's says softly, fingers running through her hair soothingly.

After what feels like an age but could have really been only a matter of minutes, her tears and sobs gradually subside. When there are no tears left to be cried and no more pent up emotions to be released. She lets herself slump against him slightly, drained but freed.

"Thank you," she whispers quietly, lips brushing the skin of his neck as she tucks herself into him.

Phil doesn't reply, just holds her a little tighter and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

For the first time, she feels like she might be home.

A/N

I hope you liked it. I'm not exactly sure where I am going with this right now but I feel like this story is gonna start wrapping itself up soon. We'll see...

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